EPILOGUE

Six months later

The waves roared as though they were the guardians of the sea, the first line of defence being pushed ashore. They curled high enough to engulf those who dared take on the ocean's force. The whitewash was like barbed-wire for her perimeter, crawling onto the pure white sand, tempting and teasing, before drawing back and re-setting her defences.

Jay covered his eyes against the morning sun as it crept from behind the Byron Bay lighthouse. His surfboard dug into the sand and he leaned against it, contemplating the best way to breech the ocean's defences. Calculating how to use her force to pull him out through the whitewash so he could ride the gladiators of the sea back in. Then start all over again.

The shallows lapped against the wound on his foot that had healed with the ocean's help. It had been a painful rehabilitation. His hand had taken longer to come right and he figured it would be another year or so before he got all his strength back. He looked at his hand as he held it high to block out the sun. A life's chapter over and another just begun. Six months of life after the military. Six months of deep sleep without the little girl in his dreams.

'Thought I'd find you here,' called a voice from behind.

Jay smiled and turned his head. An older version of himself came down the sand. Business suit with the trousers rolled up and an expensive pair of shoes in his hand.

'Hi, Dad,' Jay said.

They embraced. Ed looked out to the ocean and they watched in silence as another set battered down.

Ed turned to Jay. 'Not doing it tough anymore, mate?'

'Nope. Not anymore.'

'I see your favourite football star has retired. Seems he had to.'

Jay chuckled. 'He shouldn't holiday where I now live.'

'Bad hand and all, you still kicked his arse.'

'Just kicked him in the soft spot. At least he won't be straying for a while.'

Ed laughed. 'Have you considered what you want to do?'

'What do you mean, Dad?' He knew what he meant. 'I'm doing what I want to do.'

'You know what I mean, son. Getting back in the saddle, sort of thing.'

'I already told you I'm not going back to the military. Got the official goodbye certificate last week. And I already told you I'm not coming to work for you.'

'It's different now, Jay. Different government, different ways of doing business.'

'Because you're the Director of NSIS now? What happened to your retirement plans?'

'You know we can never retire. Just fade in and out. I enjoyed freelancing for them for a while, but that itch was still there. Pat's death, and its circumstances, were tragic. And the things he did were somewhat understandable, to a degree. I hate to think what I would have done in a similar situation. Regardless, he was a professional and left the Agency in good shape. He'll be missed. Besides, it's a temporary thing for me until they find someone else.'

Jay knew Pat hadn't recovered from the heart attack and had died without knowing about his daughter's murder. 'You never were any good at gardening. You'll stay with the Agency.'

Ed grinned. 'Probably.'

'No better man for the job, but it's not for me, Dad.' Jay kicked at the sand and thought about Sarah. He hadn't heard from her since the shooting. She had disappeared into the shady world of the spy business.

'You ever move on from Mum?' Jay knew he shouldn't have said it, not today – Mother's Day.

'You know the answer, boy.'

Jay sighed and looked toward the lighthouse, contemplating what might have been.

'Why do you think she kept Sarah alive?'

'Dalia went rogue. Mossad are the best at what they do. Nobody ever leaves Mossad voluntarily. The shutters are up tight on the entire story. We never did pick up that other agent from the bank. Never made it there. He's to the wind. But to answer your question, I suppose she wanted to be one step ahead of you at every turn.'

'She was.'

'Not when it counted. You're still here, son.'

Ed reached into his jacket and pulled out a handful of red petals. He gave them to Jay and retrieved some for himself. They dropped a few on the sand and watched them get sucked back into the sea.

'I miss your mum every minute of the day, every day of the year. It's been a long time, but you are my eternal reminder of the wonderful person she was. A heart of gold and an understanding of right and wrong.'

They scattered the rest of the petals and embraced.

'You did the right thing, son. The troops are coming home because of you. Stability in the region is a long way off, but you set it on the right path by sending that disc to Hans Zinner.'

'They still haven't located his daughter's remains?'

'No. Still not watching the news?'

Jay shook his head.

'Zinner took down the government without making that disc public. He's just announced he is leaving politics. He lost a wife and a daughter to the affairs of state. Got too much. He's actually thinking of moving up here. I suppose to be closer to where his daughter felt free.'

After six months by the surf, Jay knew the feeling.

'What about our relationship with the US?'

'The new PM is biding his time. The US will have a new government themselves soon. The movement of those weapons into Israel with the knowledge of the US is a popular conspiracy theory now. They'll never admit it.'

Jay shook his head. 'The bigger picture, right.'

'Talk to me about your plans, son. My mail is clogged with requests from organisations begging you to work for them. Got to get back on the bike.'

'I thought you said to get back in the saddle.' Jay grabbed his surfboard and strapped on his leg-rope. 'How's Bill going?'

Ed chuckled. 'Screwing the Agency out of a shitload of money. Has to be the oldest and highest-paid security consultant in the world.'

'You still hiring him?'

'Just about every job he can take. He's starting his own company so he can sit on a beach drinking cocktails in his robe while his business drips money on him. He wants you to go and work with him. He says he hasn't called so you can have your space. After all that's happened, though, I think he really misses you.'

'That's great news about the company. And I may take him up on the offer one day. But my cashflow is still good and I haven't completely healed.' He closed his fingers three-quarters of the way on his damaged hand. 'I suppose I owe him one. We'll see.'

Ed looked at Jay's wrist. 'Did you get it removed?'

'No. Just covered it up.' He rolled up a sleeve on his wetsuit and held up his wrist for his father to see. The rose petals were still there but the outer edges had become a long flow of dark hair. His mother's face was now etched into his wrist. A picture of beauty with a rose behind her ear.

A tear flowed from Ed Ryan's eye. 'Beautiful, boy. I may get one myself.'

Jay smiled, hugged his father again and picked up his board. 'I'll see you soon, Dad.'

'One more thing, Jay.'

Jay stood with his board tucked under his arm.

'Don't you want to know what happened with Lazarau?'

A smile played across Jay's face. Right back to where it all started, he thought. 'Not really.'

Ed smiled wryly.

Jay moved a couple of steps toward the sea and stopped. Something told him that his father was waiting to deliver a final question. He looked into his father's eyes. Ed Ryan glanced toward the government vehicle that had brought him to the beach.

Then it clicked. 'You've just finished the internal investigations, haven't you?' Jay asked.

'We did. Sarah was cleared of any wrongdoing. Clearly manipulated by Pat. She got back from Paris two days ago. Wanted to come out with me to see you before she headed back. I wasn't sure it would be the right thing to do. Your call, son.' Ed placed his arm on Jay's shoulder before moving away to take a stroll along the beach.

Jay stayed glued to the spot as Sarah stepped out of the car. He'd played the scene out a thousand times over the last six months, each time getting angrier with the absence of contact from Sarah, until finally accepting he needed to move on. Nevertheless, he never gave up hope that she would return one day. And now here she was by the car, perhaps waiting for some kind of signal.

It would have been easy for Jay to turn toward the sea and close this chapter of his life. But he couldn't. He dug the surfboard hard into the wet sand. It cast a shadow across the beach and stretched toward Sarah.

Apart from longer hair, she hadn't changed. Her determined character was evident in her walk across the sand toward Jay. And he knew then that they would never be together again. She'd probably felt sorry for betraying Jay, but righteous in her decision.

She stopped just short and looked him up and down, not removing her sunglasses. Figuring her eyes would reveal what she wanted to say.

'I'm glad your injuries have healed, Jay.'

'Looking to banish some demons with a visit?'

'It's not like that.'

'What it is, then? Six months and not even a phone call or postcard. I was there for you and have the scars to prove it. You weren't there for me when I needed you.'

Sarah removed her sunglasses. Her eyes were filled with sadness. 'I couldn't face you. I betrayed you, but I had my reasons.'

'But not justified enough to explain those reasons to me. Just easier to avoid me altogether.'

She looked down at the sand and then back to Jay. A tear trickled down her cheek. 'Pat convinced me not to tell you about Tanya. He begged me to find Catherine – Dalia – and let him handle it. I knew your father was safe and that Pat would never have hurt him. I figured when I picked up Dalia it would have all worked out: that she and Primrose would be arrested and Pat would get Tanya back unharmed. After I told Pat about the tape, he set me up. Tanya meant more to him than any of us. I wanted to tell you from the moment Pat mentioned his daughter to me when we were in the hotel room.'

'You knew there were no assassins. That's why you were so keen on finding Primrose and getting to Catherine. What about Keith?'

'I suppose he thought you were the bad guy and had me captive. That's the only explanation for him running at the car with his weapon drawn. We'll never know the lies Pat had fed him. He was dragged into this mess like we all were. I'm sorry I shot him and that will never leave me.'

'You know, Sarah, you were meant for this job. The perfect spy with the ability to manipulate and play with people's feelings.'

'Like a great interrogator.'

Jay nodded. 'I've walked away.'

'I can't.'

'Then we were never meant to be, I suppose.'

'I can't be with you and want to be like you. It would never work.' Her eyes pleaded with Jay for understanding.

A wave had made it to his feet, lapped his ankles and invited him into the ocean as it pulled back out. Jay picked up his surfboard and tucked it under his arm. 'C'est la vie, Sarah. I hope it all works out well for you.'

Jay picked his line and used the ocean's force to take him out. He made it through the breaks and sat on his board. Sarah had disappeared. His father waved at him from the shore, turned and walked back up the beach.