Chapter Four

Taryn swallowed hard. He eased her onto her back then leaned over her. “We’ll miss the train.”

“We have plenty of time.” He brushed his mouth over her lips.

She could not argue the point. There were a few hours yet before the Central Express’ scheduled departure. His fingers were in her hair, pulling the bun loose as his mouth covered hers. Losing herself in the kiss, she didn’t realize he’d unfastened the bodice of her gown. She felt the warmth of his mouth moving down her neck in one caress after another. His hand reached inside her bodice, and she took a deep breath.

“Someone might come,” she said breathlessly in a feint attempt to stop the course of their actions.

“It’s very secluded here, Taryn. No one’s going to come.”

Desire consumed her at his touch. His fingers worked the fastening of her skirt. Suddenly she felt afraid—afraid of doing the wrong thing even though her body begged for his touch. She abruptly sat up hugging her knees to her chest in indecision. She knew nothing of being intimate with a man. The intelligence she possessed did not cover the intimate aspects of the relationship between a man and woman. She already allowed Jared more liberties than any other man, including Brad.

Jared sat up brushing a strand of her hair over her shoulder. She realized how easily he could persuade her to make love. “You’re not ready, are you?”

“I don’t know.” They’d only met a matter of days ago, yet she’d never felt such a strong sense of unexplainable desire as she did in his presence.

He lightly kissed her ear. “I have a better idea.”

She remained silent, still debating what decision to make. Her body longed for his touch, while her mind told her not to allow him such intimacies without marriage.

“Do you swim?”

Taryn viewed the lake then turned her attention back to Jared. She nodded. Relief washed over her. He was not going to press her to make a decision.

He removed his boots and socks, then his shirt, keeping his pants on. Standing up, he held out his hand to help her up. “You’ll find it easier to swim if you remove your outer garments leaving only your chemise on.”

She took his hand and stood. Her total attention fixated on the wide expanse of bronzed chest he exposed. She licked her lips. His torso was all muscle tapering to a hard, lean stomach. His comment finally registered. She blushed at his obvious knowledge of women’s undergarments. She stammered her response, reaching a hand up and self-consciously playing with the neck of her gown. “I…I couldn’t.”

“I assure you, Taryn, I have no ulterior motives.”

She hesitated, feeling the burning rays of the sun on the back of her neck. The water promised refreshment. She glanced around the secluded area to ensure no one would be able to see her unclothed. No one but Jared. Wasn’t he enough? There was no harm in swimming in her chemise. She wouldn’t be completely unclothed. “I suppose it would be all right.” Removing her shoes, she unfastened the remaining catches of her gown. In her mind, she could see her mother blanching to the very roots of her hair over her daughter’s outrageous behavior. Slipping out of the bodice, and sliding the gown down over her hips, she cautiously raised her gaze to his.

Jared struggled to keep his gaze impassive as he all but ogled her.

She cocked her head to one side, seeing his gaze lingering on her. “You’re staring at me again,” she sighed in exasperation. “You look as if you haven’t eaten in weeks.” She longed to cover herself with her hands but refused to do something so childish.

He grinned. “My gaze is one of appreciation, although I’ll admit you inspire a particular hunger I find difficult to ignore.”

When they came to the water’s edge, Jared waded into the water. She pulled back, wanting to test the temperature before entering. Venturing ankle deep, she sucked in her breath making a face when the cold water slapped against her legs.

With a mischievous grin, he picked her up bodily throwing her out into the water, then diving in after her. A surprised scream erupted from her mouth before she fell into the water. When she came up gulping in a breath, she didn’t see him. “Jar…ahh!” Something grabbed her leg. Under she went again.

He released her leg, came up from under the water, pulling her with him.

“Are you trying to drown me?” She took a grateful breath of air.

Smiling, he drew her into his arms. “No, trying to rid you of your inhibitions.”

She laughed. “An accomplishment to your credit.” She flirted with more than Jared. Held in his arms, their bodies meshed intimately together. Her palms rested on his shoulders, feeling the strength of his muscles beneath her fingertips. She should not be alone with a man in such a compromising situation, but she didn’t care. She was enjoying herself. They were only swimming. There was no shame. Her virginity remained intact.

They swam leisurely in the lake, enjoying the respite from the heat and the confines of the train. Deciding to get out of the water to dry off, she walked back to where her clothes lay. Seeing him coming out of the water, a playful smile formed on her face. When he reached her, she paid him no mind, concentrating on the ground.

“What are you looking for?”

“I can’t seem to find one of my hair combs. Would you mind seeing if it’s near the water’s edge?”

He walked back to the water, skirting the edge looking on the ground. She backed up then ran as fast as she could toward him.

“What does it look like?”

She barreled into him at full force.

Taken off guard, Jared lost his footing, stumbling back into the water. Unable to stop, she tumbled right after him, falling on top of him.

“What does what look like?”

He swung his wet hair out of his eyes, catching his breath. “You little imp.”

“It serves you right for throwing me in the water,” she said, unapologetic, watching the water trickle down his chest as he stood. She accepted the hand he held out, securing her footing. He prevented her from walking back to the shore, pulling her toward him.

“You, Taryn Ashford, are a troublesome woman.” He towed her farther into the water until they were waist deep in order to rinse the sand from their bodies.

She held up her hands. “No more.”

He enfolded her in his arms, holding her close against his body. “No more,” he agreed, “except this.” His mouth slanted over hers, tasting her wet lips.

She slid her arms around his shoulders. This was the most glorious afternoon in her entire life. He was utterly charming, and she thoroughly enjoyed being with him. Then there were his kisses. Each one surpassed her will. His tongue slipped into her mouth, at first playfully toying with hers, then boldly exploring. When he drew back, she sighed with happiness. “I’m so glad I decided to make this trip.”

“I’m glad you decided to make it alone.”

Her smile faded, his remark reminding her of Brad. She should tell him about Brad, but how?

He tightened his arms around her waist. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” She could tell him about Brad another time. She wanted to enjoy their afternoon, not ruin it with talk of her fiancé.

They emerged from the water, not waiting to dry off. Their dallying caused the need to hurry to make the train. Returning the horses to the livery, they were walking back toward the train when the train whistle blew.

“Oh no!” She gauged the distance from where they stood to the train, realizing it would be a miracle if they could cover the distance in time.

He grasped her hand tightly in his. “Come on!” Breaking into a dead run, they raced down the street to the station.

The Central Pacific began to pull away. Taryn clutched a fistful of her skirt in her hand to allow her legs to stretch out in front of her to keep up with Jared’s longer gait.

She gasped for breath, unsure if she could keep up the pace. They’d never make it. Other passengers were poking their heads out the windows to watch their plight.

They were at the edge of the platform as the last boxcar chugged down the track. “Don’t stop running,” Jared shouted over his shoulder, his strides lengthening. Releasing her hand, he reached out, grabbing the rail of the last boxcar to hoist himself onto the steps. Turning his body, he reached down, grasped her wrist, and yanked her forward. Grabbing her around the waist, he pulled her up against him placing her on the boxcar’s small ledge-like platform.

They burst into laughter as they shared how they imagined their mad dash to catch the train appeared to those who may have been watching.

The conductor stopped them as they entered the boxcar asking for their tickets. Jared reached into his shirt pocket, extracting the tickets. Since he’d dressed with his body still wet, the tickets absorbed the water from his shirt. The conductor held out the damp tickets, inspecting them repugnantly. They struggled to stifle their laughter. “Your compartments are located three boxcars down,” he sniffed.

As they passed through the boxcars of the Central Pacific, many of the same travelers from the Pacific Express from Omaha were in evidence, congratulating them on successfully boarding.

Etta stopped them as they passed through her car, relief in her voice. “I feared you wouldn’t make it.”

Jared grinned in acknowledgement. “So were we.”

“I was explaining to those who hadn’t traveled with us on the Pacific Express how you were newly married and off picnicking.”

They were both disheveled, their hair and clothes suspiciously damp. Neither of them missed the knowing glances the passengers exchanged between each other. Taryn felt her face heating crimson. As they continued through the boxcar, more passengers congratulated them not only on managing to board the train, but also on their new marriage. They provided a stir for those watching their race to board.

Passing through to the next boxcar, Taryn lowered her voice so only Jared would be able to hear her. “Can you imagine what they think with us dripping wet?” They paused, taking in each other’s appearance, then burst into renewed laughter.

Jared didn’t share her excitement over the sleepers. Although more solidly constructed than those of the emigrants’ cars on the Pacific Express, it would still be a feat to force his large frame in the space provided.

At the close of evening. Taryn climbed up into her berth considering it luxurious in comparison to the primitive boards they’d shared. Since the berths included curtains to allow privacy, she decided she would sleep in her chemise for a more comfortable night’s rest.

Once within the berth, she closed the curtains finding when she pulled them together the ends didn’t meet the walls. If she pulled the curtains back slightly, a gap formed in the center. Nevertheless, she removed her garments which proved challenging in the limited space. Finished, she stored them under the berth, wrinkling her nose in distaste for the attire so recently her favorite.

Lying down, she found it necessary to curl her legs up to prevent them from dangling out into the aisle. With a frown, she struggled for a comfortable position, and though not totally succeeding, it would have to suffice. As much trouble as the berth gave her, she could imagine what Jared was going through in the berth below her. A small laugh escaped her at the thought of him cursing at the confined space. She wouldn’t put it past him to use his guns to blast away the walls in an attempt to give his long legs the necessary room. Her mind conjured up the image of those few hours in the afternoon. Warmth spread through her at the mere thought of his kisses, much less his caresses. She touched the palms of her hands to her cheeks, feeling the heat permeating her skin. She cautioned herself against the growing fondness toward Jared.

Thoughts of Brad intruded upon her. Her mind plagued her with guilt starting when she’d removed her engagement ring. She should have told Jared about her engagement. Her feelings argued with her conscience. She couldn’t put the ring back on now, not when Etta Briggs and others on the train believed her married to Jared. A feeble excuse since only she would know the ring wasn’t from him. No one but she and Jared, her conscience added. All she needed to do was tell everyone the truth. Yet, if she did, there was no telling what those on the train would think of her having slept by his side night after night. Groaning over the battle going on inside her head, it was some time before she fell asleep.

****

Taryn found an opportunity to speak with the journalist, Robert Michaels, the next afternoon. She hadn’t seen him since lunch an hour before. “Good afternoon,” Again, she’d caught him busily writing in his journal.

“Miss Ashford, what a pleasure,” Robert said, adjusting his spectacles. “Please sit.” He slid over to the adjoining seat.

“If you’d prefer to concentrate on your writing Mr. Michaels, I could come back.”

“Not at all. I assure you, your presence is a welcome respite. Please, call me Robert.”

She nodded taking a seat beside him. “It looks as though you’ve obtained several viewpoints.” There were numerous pages of his writing stacked on his lap.

“Everyone has been very cooperative in talking with me.”

“Have you met Etta Briggs?” If anyone could give him interesting tidbits, it would be Etta.

“Yes, I’ve met her,” Robert said. “I found when speaking with Etta, you don’t speak at all, only listen.”

She laughed. “I believed I was the only who held that opinion.”

“It’s hard not to admire her,” Robert said. “For a woman of her years to start all over again is admirable. Most would not want to leave their settled existence. The West needs more women such as Etta.”

“I don’t know where she gets the energy. I’m certain she knows every person on this train.”

Robert shifted his position. “Speaking of which, I didn’t realize you were married. Etta spoke of your husband when she learned I knew you.”

“I’m not.” Her gaze shifted around as though she were committing some crime. She went on to explain the circumstances. “Etta and others still believe Mr. King and I are married. The ruse is necessary for propriety’s sake.”

“I understand. Your secret is safe with me.” It’s a shame though,” he added. “It would have made a ‘delightful’ addition to the piece I’m writing.” They both broke out into laughter.

Robert glanced down at all the notes he’d accumulated. Picking up his pen, he crossed out the sections where he’d referenced she and Jared as a newly married couple beginning their lives in the West. He paused, shifting his gaze to her. “You make me curious about the man playing your husband. I look forward to meeting him.”

****

When Taryn returned to her seat, Jared was not in evidence. He was probably playing cards again. Just as well. Her conscience viciously chastised herself for flirting with him so outrageously when she pledged herself to Brad. What could she have been thinking of at the time?! It nearly led to the taking of her womanhood. Guilt riddled her thoughts as an unwelcome confidante. She only had herself to blame for allowing her feelings to get away from her. It could not happen again.

By the late hours of evening, Taryn still battled with her conscience until sleep overtook her. She woke in the wee hours of the morning in need of the convenience room. She frowned in annoyance. Reluctant to get up, she rolled over attempting to ignore her needs, with no success. Debating the best way to get to the convenience room in her chemise, she finally decided on wrapping herself in the blanket. She threaded her way down the aisle, bracing her feet when the train shook making her steps falter. She was exceedingly grateful the other passengers slept. Her attire was inappropriate for meeting another passenger. Once finished in the convenience room, she retraced her path back to her berth. The train slowed somewhat then jolted forward again, picking up speed. Reaching her berth, she lost her balance, her feet stumbling to regain their footing. She released her hold of the blanket. Her hands reached out, instinctively seeking something to grab onto.

“Easy.”

Two strong arms caught her from behind as she toppled, hands clasping around her waist to set her back on her feet. Her head swerved around, and she gazed up at Jared’s face.

He turned her to face him. She stood a little too close for sensible thinking. The blanket covering her lay on the floor, pooling around her feet. Once again, she stood before him wearing only her chemise. His hands were still on her waist, his touch causing her heart to hammer in her chest, filling her head with the sound. She stooped down to retrieve the blanket. He helped place it around her, his fingers brushing her neck and shoulders. A tingling sensation rippled through her, and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

“Taryn…” His hand slid around the back of her neck. He gently pulled her head to his as he leaned over her. His mouth took possession of hers. Her mind screamed to pull away. His other arm slipped around her waist under the blanket. He pressed her against the hard length of his body.

“Jared please…don’t.” The contact consumed her, chipping away her control.

He kissed her cheek, then pulled back. He encircled her waist with both arms, drawing her body slowly to his. “Why do you deny your feelings?”

She tilted her chin upward. “I’m not feeling anything.” She wanted her words to sound indifferent, a pathetic attempt when her breathing was so pronounced.

His brow shot up in question. “No?” His mouth swooped down over hers to prove her wrong, to entice her.

She pushed him, trying to disengage his hold before she allowed the feeling to take complete control. He would have none of it. Passionate and demanding, he continued to kiss her. When she would turn her head away, his hand reached up, his fingers holding her jaw. Her heart pounded wildly, her senses reeling as she felt herself weaken. She must resist. She should think of Brad. He was her fiancé. In one final attempt, she shoved him hard staggering back herself as the support of his arms fell away. Righting herself, taking deep breaths, she returned his gaze, shaking her head. “I don’t want you to kiss me.”

“You want more than kisses from me, Taryn.” His eyes blazed with passion. “If there were a decent bed to be found, I’d show you how much you want.”

“How dare you! I don’t want anything from you, including your kisses.”

A muscle in his jaw tensing, his eyes narrowed. He caught her chin holding it firmly in his hand. A slow smile formed on his face. “As I said once before, you lie extremely well.”

He turned, walked back down the aisle, leaving her to consider his words. She never experienced such an arrogant and insolent lack of manners. Stomping on each rung of the ladder back into her berth, she mumbled her irritation with him. Her fury prevented sleep. Punching her pillow, she tossed and turned. How she despised him. The words raged repeatedly in her mind, but her heart felt the truth.

****

Taryn didn’t see much of Jared for the remainder of the journey. She had purposely avoided him whenever possible. His influence on her was too strong. She had to remain faithful to Brad. The only solution was to stay away from Jared. She had to completely cut off her feelings.

When the Central Pacific arrived in Sacramento, she collected her things. She stood on the platform saying good-bye to Robert Michaels and Etta Briggs. Once the group dispersed, she turned to see Jared stepping down from the train. She felt a painful tug constrict her heart realizing she would never see him again. She wanted to say something but didn’t know what words to use.

“Do you have someone meeting you?” He frowned at his own question, inwardly asking himself the reason he still felt protective toward her.

“Yes, my relatives are meeting me.” She paused awkwardly, suddenly wishing to prolong saying good-bye. “Thank you for going along with pretending to be my husband.”

He smiled. “You did me the favor of acting my wife for the sheriff in Omaha. I wanted to return the favor.”

Their words were polite, carefully phrased.

She wanted to explain why she’d turned cold toward him over the past days. She had to remain true to Brad—to her engagement. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. What did it matter now? They were from different worlds bound for separate destinies. He would continue his life as a gunman, and she would marry Brad.

As difficult as she found it to say good-bye, time worked against her. “I suppose I should go look for my aunt and uncle.” She turned away.

“Taryn.” He grasped her wrist.

She turned. His deep voice acted as a soothing balm for the ache she felt within her at their parting. His gentle touch on her wrist sent a searing spark rushing through her veins.

He pulled her close. “I don’t know what happened to cause you to turn away from me. Maybe I was going too fast for you.”

She shook her head in agony. How could she tell him?

“In any case, it’s probably best this way.”

She struggled to prevent her voice from cracking. “Yes, it’s probably best.”

Their gazes locked together.

He broke the silence. “Let’s at least say good-bye properly.”

She didn’t refuse him when he leaned his head down. He pressed his mouth over hers possessively, his hand entangling in her hair as he held her against his chest.

She softened against him, her arms reaching about his neck. She held nothing back in her kiss, giving herself up to the strange passion she felt.

He wrapped his arms around her, surprised by her eager participation in the kiss. He finally broke away. Gently kissing her forehead, he released her. He placed his hat on his head caressing her cheek with his knuckles. “Good-bye Taryn.”

“Good-bye Jared.” She longed to run after him, throw herself into his arms, and beg him to hold her forever. Instead, she simply watched him walk away, struggling to prevent the tears filling her eyes.