Nyx would not allow her carelessness to ruin everything. She would be the first female on the Council. Nobody would stop her. Especially not Anton.
She dug her sharpened nails into Anton’s forearms. His hot blood coated her fingers. Still he didn’t let go. She twisted in his embrace and raked her claws over his chest. He grabbed her wrists on a raw, vulgar curse and yanked her hands behind her, holding them clasped in one hand at the base of her spine.
“Stop fighting me.”
Anton’s command registered, but she had no intention of obeying. She had to get away. Nothing else mattered. Nobody would take her freedom. Nobody.
Heat flooded her limbs. Her jaguar’s soul rushed up. Her cat was agile. Fast. It could succeed where she failed. She opened herself to her primal side.
“Damn you, Nyx.” Anton growled the words near her ear. Then she was flying through the air.
A shocked cry tore from her throat. Her jaguar’s soul slipped through her fingers, falling into the mystical field where it lived. Nyx’s back connected with something firm yet soft. Her body was flipped. Her arms were yanked above her.
She wiggled, twisting the sheets around her flailing body. A heavy weight settled over her. The sense of panic grew, leaving her panting. She wasn’t getting away. Would never get away. She’d been caught by a predator, a powerful man everyone feared.
She whipped her head back and forth and bucked, trying to knock him off. Anton pressed his chin into the tender spot where her shoulder met her neck.
Her muscles instantly went limp. The same instincts that had left her in a frenzy froze her body now. There was no fighting them. She wouldn’t have been able to move if she tried. Anton held her in the most vulnerable position an unmated female shifter could be in. The baser side of her understood what that meant.
Anton had won…her.
He turned his head. His lips touched her hot skin. A long moment passed where she panted, and he simply breathed, evenly and calmly.
Nyx closed her eyes and fought the hysteria gripping her. Anton wouldn’t mate her against her will. For one, Council members didn’t take mates. They were a weakness their enemies could exploit. That was what her uncle Boris had always said. Secondly and more importantly, she was an insignificant single shifter. Anton was a Royal. He’d never dirty himself with the likes of her. The rationales calmed her.
She relaxed under the heavy weight of Anton’s body and waited for the consequences of her actions to seal her fate. No doubt he’d kick her out of his house. She’d not only entered his bedroom uninvited, but she’d been caught snooping. There’d be no saving herself from this. She deserved her fate. If only she hadn’t shoved her jaguar so deep, she would’ve heard Anton approach.
On a groan of pure lust, Anton slid his free hand down her side and gripped the edge of her skirt. His knuckles brushed her bare thigh. Tingles skipped over her skin. He opened his mouth over her shoulder, the spot where a male’s bite would mark her as a claimed female if she failed to secure her freedom. At the moment, failure was a guarantee.
The scrape of Anton’s distended fangs on her skin sent shivers down her spine. Her belly warmed. She moaned. The wanton sound was as instinctual as her limp body. A dominant male held her immobile, at his mercy. The primitive side of her craved the feeling of vulnerability. The fact that Anton’s scent left her aroused and unsettled to begin with didn’t help matters.
In this moment, she’d welcome Anton’s bite and his claim on her—body and soul. It would never happen, though. She knew that. The knowledge should make her happy. It had calmed her moments ago. Instead, a soul-deep sadness gripped her.
“Are you calm?” Anton whispered the question in her ear.
“Yes.” Though she didn’t know how to explain her earlier hysteria to Anton. Now that she’d had a chance to think, her frenzied need to escape him seemed ridiculous. He’d never keep her. Why would he? She was a nobody.
The ache in her chest spread, threatening to swallow her whole.
“Not going to shift on me?”
“No.” And wouldn’t that have been embarrassing? The moment she returned to her human form, she’d be naked.
“And you don’t plan on attacking me again?”
A strained giggle escaped her. Now that she wasn’t ruled by her panic, her actions seemed childish. Anton was stronger than her. If he wanted to hurt her, he could. Easily.
Given the chance to fight back against her frenzied attack, he hadn’t. Something told her he never would. She felt safe in his arms, even as his fangs brushed against her skin. Instinct, maybe. She didn’t know but the truth resonated within her. It didn’t erase the ache in her chest, unfortunately. Too bad. She didn’t like the feeling. Being a nobody didn’t make her worthless. At the moment, she felt worthless, though. And unwanted.
“No.” She exhaled slowly, an attempt to calm herself. Her jumbled emotions would only make matters worse. “I’m sorry I did in the first place. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Anton released the hem of her skirt. His knuckles skimmed over her skin. Her eyelids drifted closed as heat spread through her body. “You didn’t.”
“I did.” The memory of his blood covering her fingers would haunt her for a long time. “I…I bled you. Dug my claws into your skin. I’m sorry for that. I truly am.”
He chuckled. The vibration of his amusement traveled through her. She pressed her lips together to stop her moan from escaping. “I’m immortal. A few scratches won’t hurt a Royal.”
As a mortal single shifter, a few scratches wouldn’t hurt her for long either. Despite being born to a nonalpha family, she was strong. Healing quickly counted for a lot in the shifter world. Not as much as immortality or claiming a direct line of descent from the goddesses, but strength, both physical and mental, mattered.
“That’s not the point. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” It was rumored Anton had killed a woman in a fit of rage. When she thought of it that way, attacking him had been incredibly stupid.
“Why did you?”
“You frightened me. My instincts took over. I felt trapped. I had to escape.”
“You didn’t hear me approach?”
Wasn’t the answer to that question obvious? If she’d known he was behind her, she wouldn’t have continued to look through his email. “No. I didn’t hear you.”
“Why not? Didn’t your cat warn you? Isn’t that what your jaguar should do for you? Alert you to danger?”
Anton wanted her to admit she’d buried her jaguar deep within her psyche. She didn’t understand why it mattered. He’d caught her snooping. Shouldn’t that be more important than why she’d allowed Anton to sneak up on her?
She shook her head. Anton’s motives didn’t matter. Hers did. Anton wasn’t automatically throwing her out. She had a chance to talk her way out of this.
“My jaguar is…primitive.” Yes, that definition fit. The things her cat wanted Anton to do to Nyx had everything to with primal drives and nothing to do with reality. “She’s ruled by her instincts. I’m not. Banishing her to her field is safer for both of us. So that’s what I did.”
“I’m impressed. Few shifters your age can do so.”
Anton’s praise brought a smile to her lips. Admitting she’d had months to perfect her control over her jaguar would lessen Anton’s opinion of her, especially if he learned he’d been the reason she’d had to strengthen her will over her cat to begin with. Ever since she read the ad Anton had placed, she’d fought the animal. Its insistence she seek Anton out immediately nearly drove her nuts.
“I’m full of surprises.”
“I have to agree. I hadn’t expected you to sneak into my bedroom and betray my trust within hours of meeting me.” Anton released her wrists and rolled her body so she was facing him. His black-and-gold eyes held her captive with the demand she confess all her sins. “Why did you?”
“I didn’t betray you.” Out of the two accusations, this one she could deny. Hard to pretend she hadn’t snuck into his room when she was lying on his bed. Next to his impressive body.
He raised a brow. “You were reading my personal email. If that’s not a betrayal of trust, I don’t know what is.”
“I didn’t mean to look at that email.” The words rushed out.
Anton’s eyes brightened. One corner of his mouth lifted. He didn’t even try to hide his amusement over her statement. If she wasn’t trying to talk her way out of this, she’d laugh too. As excuses went, hers was pretty lame.
“You had to click on my email app to open it. I’d left it closed when I left. How could you not mean to look at my email?”
Nyx licked her lips and focused on the lust warming her body. With any luck, the scent of her arousal would mask the telltale stench of the lie she was about to tell. “I was looking for your calendar. Mine is part of my email program. You didn’t meet me like you said you would, so I thought maybe you had another meeting and forgot about me.”
“I will never be able to forget about you.”
The seriousness in Anton’s tone drew her attention from the lips she wanted on hers to his eyes. Still exotically beautiful, but the intensity reflected in them left her breathless, waiting on the reason behind his words.
Though, honestly, she knew he’d never forget her, but not for the reason that had butterflies dancing in her belly. Soon, she’d topple the carefully cultivated world he’d built here on the campus of the Shifter Council. There’d be no forgetting that. His hatred for her would last eternity too.
Moments passed without him saying anything else. She swallowed hard. The silence unnerved her. “Because you’re immortal, right? Your memory must be both a blessing and a curse.”
His gaze caressed her. She swore he was memorizing her features. “Yes, exactly. I both treasure my immortality and loathe it. Sometimes the prospect of having another chance at life is unbearably tempting. A do-over, as my pride leader would say.”
“I don’t know. If I had the choice, I’d want to live forever.” Lip caught between her teeth, she glanced away. “If I was mated to someone I cared about, anyway. Or alone completely. Otherwise, eternity would be my hell.”
“As mine will be.” Anton spoke the words under his breath, but there was no missing them.
She studied his expression. No hint of what spurred his statement. “Your eternity will be hell?”
“Yes.” Anton scraped his fingernails over her side as he fisted the hem of her shirt and dragged it higher. His caress soothed the small sting. Or it could’ve been her lust distracting her from it. Either way, her focus centered on Anton’s fingers mapping a path up her body.
He brushed his knuckles over the swell of her breast. Her lace bra prevented her from experiencing the tingling rush Anton’s touch elicited within her. She should be grateful not to feel his caress. This man was an obstacle standing in the way of her destiny. The truth didn’t erase the needs building within her. She ached in a way she never had.
Arching her back, she pushed her sensitive chest against Anton’s. He could send her into another frenzy. This time, she’d soar. His teasing touch last night proved he could please her.
Anton took her unspoken invitation. He unhooked her bra and stared into her eyes as if waiting to see her reaction to his bold move. Or waiting for her to beg for his touch.
“Why will your eternity be hell?” she prompted instead of begging for relief. She couldn’t bring herself to do so. A woman who’d go to the lengths she was in order to secure a lifetime without a mate did not beg a man for pleasure. No matter how much she craved it. If Anton happened to satisfy her through his own free will, however, she wouldn’t stop him.
“Because.” Anton swiped his thumb over her skin.
A shiver skipped down her spine. One corner of his lip quivered as if he knew how the simple move affected her. But she hadn’t moaned. Hadn’t gasped. She was fairly certain her expression hadn’t changed. Whatever tipped him off, she wanted him to give her more.
She swiped her tongue across her lower lip, wetting it and hoping her glistening mouth would entice Anton into kissing her. “Because why?”
“Council members don’t mate. Ever.” Anton touched her more boldly this time. Her small squeak betrayed her excitement. He smirked. “Not even if they meet their true mate, and an eternity without the comfort of the one female chosen to be theirs by the goddesses themselves is hell. That’s what awaits me.”
That would be hell…if you believed in true mates. She did not. If the goddesses had wanted shifters to mate for love, the strict mating laws giving males the right to claim any female they wanted wouldn’t still be enforced.
Anton brushed his lips over the base of her neck, speeding her pulse. “And your future with your promised male will be your hell, right?”
“Yes, exactly.” She smiled. She’d spent years convincing Boris her interest lay in acting as a representative and role model for female shifters, not as a vessel for babies or a warm body to use when her mate was horny. Or worse yet, a cook and maid.
“I thought all women dreamed of the day they took a mate.”
“No.” She laughed. “I’d rather live out my life alone than mate someone unworthy.”
Anton raised his gaze to hers. A slow, pleased grin spread over his mouth. Her lower belly quivered with an immediate punch of need. The tips of his distended fangs gave his smile a wicked edge. She squirmed.
“Even if he was rich and powerful? Or good-looking?”
She nibbled on her lip. Anton was talking her into a corner. Shifter females were nothing without a man, whether that man was a mate or a guardian. They needed someone to protect them. Everyone understood that. Admitting she wanted to shatter that tradition would give Anton insight into her emotions. She couldn’t have that. He might use them against her. “Depends on whether I was attracted to him.”
Anton adjusted his body over hers, spreading her legs and settling into the spot between her thighs. The hard press of his erection lined up with her groin. Clothes separated them, but it didn’t take much to imagine how they’d fit together.
He rocked against her. She moaned. Her eyelids lowered. For a man rumored not to like women, Anton excelled at the fine art of seduction.
“Let me guess.” Anton firmed his hold on her wrists and leaned close. His exhales warmed her cheek. Sparks skipped over her skin. “Your promised mate doesn’t get you excited like I can, does he?”
“Oh goddess…” Nyx didn’t know what else to say.
Anton reached between their bodies and touched her, stimulating her more.
She squirmed. “I…”
She’d never had sex. Traditional sex, anyway. Oral sex didn’t count. Teasing and foreplay didn’t count. Nothing done to her had ever tempted her to accept a man into her body.
Until Anton got her in his bed.
“Answer me, Nyx.” Anton leaned closer. His touch sparked sensations within her she’d never experienced. She stifled a whimper. “Does your promised mate excite you like I can?”
“I don’t want to mate him.” That was the best answer Anton would get from her. Anything else gave him power over her. With the way she reacted to him, he didn’t need much.
Anton eased back. He laid his fingertips against the swell of her belly. “And being able to support yourself will save you from this male?”
She nodded in response to Anton’s question. It was all she could do. Voicing the lie again felt wrong.
“There are many opportunities for females to earn a living without having a mate to support her. Laws have been passed to prohibit employment discrimination against our women, mated or unmated. Why not choose one of those jobs? Many of those also offer housing. Why my ad? Secretarial work is boring, and I’m not an easy man to work for.”
She pressed the tip of her tongue to the roof of her suddenly dry mouth. Somehow, he knew she was a spy, placed here to purposely uncover evidence against him. That had to be the reason he focused on her motive to come here. How had he found out?
What would he do to her now that he realized the truth?
Anton bent close and brushed his lips over the delicate spot right below her ear. “I hear your heart pounding. The sharp tang of fear taints your scent too. Why are you so afraid? I merely asked you a question. Or is it because I’m touching you?”
He paused as if waiting for her to respond. She couldn’t. She didn’t know the reason for her silence.
“You should know I’m only reading your body language, Nyx. If I’m reading you wrong, tell me to stop. I will.”
“I can’t fail. I can’t allow you to toss me out. You’re my ticket to freedom.” The truth rushed out.
“You’ve already explained how you need a job to avoid an unwanted mating.” Anton rested his cheek on the mattress. She turned her head to look into his eyes. Inches separated them, adding an intimacy to this moment that didn’t match their topic of conversation. “But why my job? That’s what I need to know.”
Her heart beat impossibly faster. She could’ve been running for her life through the woods surrounding this house, not sharing this bed with Anton. Every lie that came to mind wouldn’t come out. She closed her mouth without saying anything.
“Tell me the truth.” Anton lowered his voice. “Why did you choose my ad over the others? You said you’d waited months to apply for it. Why? What compelled you to do so? I know for a fact there are other Council members looking for secretaries right now. I’ve seen those ads. They pay the same. Offer housing. Why mine?”
She had to tell Anton something. Obviously, her honor was rearing its ugly head. Dang it. How was she going to be able to destroy this man’s life to build the one she deserved?
Nyx closed her eyes, saving herself from Anton’s hypnotic spell. The man was dangerous. She’d been warned how lethally intense he could be. The trait had turned him into a forceful and effective Shifter Council member. She hadn’t realized his skills included the ability to compel those around him to confess all their sins.
“Boris insisted. I can’t refuse him. He’s my guardian.”
“Why did he insist on me?”
She flinched. Anton’s harsh voice cut through her. She squeezed her eyelids tighter. “He said you’re the only male he’d trust with his unmated niece.”
“Because I don’t like women?”
As excuses went, that one worked perfectly in this situation, and it wasn’t a lie. She had heard of his lack of interest from several people. Though, the way he touched her didn’t support their claim. She didn’t have any other comeback, though. “Yes, exactly.”
“That’s a lie.” Anton lowered his voice, compelling her to believe him. “You know that, right? I wouldn’t be touching you if I didn’t enjoy women.”
“But you don’t bring women into your house. You don’t meet them elsewhere. You never leave this campus. You—”
Anton skimmed his lips over her closed eyes, then her mouth, stopping her words. His breath heated her skin, sensitizing and arousing her impossibly more. She parted her lips, welcoming his kiss. No, praying for it. Just once. She couldn’t leave him today without experiencing his passion.
Moments passed. He didn’t kiss her. He didn’t do anything besides breathe, drawing her air into his lungs and warming her lips with his exhales. She had no choice but to do the same. An odd sensation slipped through her. It was almost as if she was taking a piece of Anton inside her each time she inhaled. Like he was imprinting himself on her. She’d never be the same.
She shook her head, clearing it of the crazy thought and ending this moment. “It doesn’t matter what I think about your sex life. Boris insisted I work for you. He said you’d protect me. Didn’t he explain everything in the letter he wrote? He said he was going to.”
Anton shoved away from her and strode to his desk. He closed the laptop, then stood there with his hands planted on the blotter.
A thin black T-shirt covered his upper body, and loose gray sleep pants clung to his legs. No shoes protected his bare feet. He hadn’t gotten dressed today. That much was obvious. Where had he gone this morning if he hadn’t left the house? She’d looked everywhere. Except for the room above this one. There had to be one. The tower stairs continued up past Anton’s door.
What was up there? More paintings, maybe? She wanted to know.
Anton cleared his throat, drawing her back to this moment and this man. “I didn’t read your uncle’s letter.”
“I didn’t see it on the floor of the library this morning. I assumed you’d picked it up.”
“I did, but I didn’t read it. I had more pressing matters to address.”
“Like whatever happened to Molly? That is the little girl’s name, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Anton dipped his head. His back arched. “That’s her name.”
Nyx would dream of those cold, dead eyes. She knew it. Her mind would spin tales of what had happened to Molly to make her resemble a killer. Nyx didn’t want to face those nightmares. “What happened to her?”
“Change your clothes. You have my blood on them.” Anton glanced over his shoulder. “And eat too. I’m not sure what’s in the kitchen but I’m sure you can find something. I’ll be down in a few hours. Then we can talk.”
Nyx forced herself to move. Lying in Anton’s comfy bed after he’d just ordered her out wouldn’t help convince him she was trustworthy and would obey his commands. Darn, it was hard. She liked the feel of his sheets against her skin and his scent surrounding her. She liked how he touched her.
The man captivated her.
And that was a problem she had to correct. She wasn’t supposed to like the man she was posed to destroy.