Energy thrummed in Anton’s veins. He flexed his hands, easing the ache in his bones. The determination of his cats to force a shift upon him had built since he’d left Kade outside the dining hall. Anton couldn’t blame his feline spirits for their primal anger. The need to hunt down and eliminate his competition rode him hard too.
By the time Anton had returned to the celebration, Nyx was gone. Along with Colin.
Shifter Affairs agent or not, Colin would suffer if he’d decided to do more than walk Nyx home. Nyx’s passion was his. Anton would own it, even if he couldn’t keep the rest of her.
A sudden stillness settled over him. His cats stood poised in their mystical field. Eagerness radiated from them. The reaction could only mean one thing. Nyx had returned.
Anton retreated farther into the shadows. And waited. The front door opened. Nyx entered, carrying a book and some loose sheets of paper. She set them on top of her luggage that still hadn’t been moved to her room, then dropped her bag and shawl over the pile before locking the door behind her.
He never locked his door, on the off chance someone needed to see him. He made no move to stop her, however. It’d be best if nobody intruded tonight. Not that anyone would.
With the possessiveness riding him, Anton couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t react as an animal guarding his mate instead of a man sleeping with his secretary. That was the view he needed to project. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince Nyx and the world of his indifference. Councilmen were adept liars. It came with the job.
“Was your evening successful?” Anton stepped from the shadows.
Nyx glanced at him. Her attention lingered on his bare feet for a long moment before she slowly dragged her heated perusal up his body. His shaft stirred with her focus on him. She parted her lips on an exhale that relaxed her posture, leaving her looking confident and hungry.
Anton had never considered the combination being sexy. He’d always enjoyed his lovers trembling and needy. Nyx’s demeanor shook him. It had from the first moment he’d met her. He hadn’t known what to do with her then. He did now.
He’d break her.
She’d never leave him otherwise.
“Partially.” Nyx walked toward him. The sway of her hips drew his eye. She slowed her approach as if she sensed how he enjoyed the view. “But not completely. I never got to dance with you.”
Anton stopped and took a moment to admire the woman chosen for him by the goddesses. Nyx matched him in a way he’d never imagined a woman could. She spoke her mind one minute, then shrouded herself in a cloak of innocence the next. Both aspects of her personality intrigued him. He’d never known a woman to talk back to him or look at him the way Nyx did sometimes. It wasn’t lust. It was more. Not love. Not affection. Not companionship.
Nyx looked at him as if her world revolved around him. Seeing her budding devotion ripped him open, leaving him with a sick feeling in his gut.
He was a bastard. Would always be a bastard. Nobody could fix him. Especially not Nyx.
“You still want to dance with me even after I warned you what would happen in my arms?” Anton froze, waiting on her answer.
A mischievous smile spread over Nyx’s face. She moved closer until an arm’s length separated them. “You mean other than sore toes? You did admit it’s been a long time since you danced with a woman.”
“I’m not talking about dancing.”
“Well, I am.” Nyx pursed her lips in the fakest pout he’d ever seen. “I wanted to dance with you. I still do.”
Anton closed the distance between them and stroked the back of his hand over her jaw. “If I take you into my arms, I guarantee you’ll end up in my bed.”
Nyx stared at him for a long moment, then dragged her tongue over her lower lip. “Are you challenging me, Anton Alexander?”
“Warning you.” Anton brushed his open mouth over hers. Nyx tilted her head and touched the tip of her tongue to his lip, an invitation to kiss her. He eased back. “It’s the only one you’ll get.”
“One is all I need.”
Determination showed in her eyes. Seeing it there excited him on a level he couldn’t explain. Anton stepped closer to Nyx, urging her backward until her spine pressed against the door. He planted his hands on either side of her body. Nyx tipped her head back. She didn’t try to kiss him. She watched him. Her breathing quickened. He could almost feel her excitement.
“Are you sure about that?” She had no idea what he planned for her. Or how he meant to hurt her. Part of him wanted to tell her. The selfish side of him refused to allow it. He had one night with Nyx. He’d be damned if he’d allow it to slip through his fingers.
Nyx nodded, scooted under his arm, then took a couple of backward steps. “Yes. So where will we dance?”
Without looking at Nyx, Anton headed toward his tower. She’d follow. Their bond would draw them together. It was too strong. His fault. He should’ve sent her away the moment he’d realized what they were to each other. Instead, he’d kissed her. Touched her. Shared air with her. Freakin’ dreamed about what could be.
Balling his fists, Anton fought the anger. It’d do little good to rage about the injustice of their situation. He had no one to blame but himself. He’d chosen the Council long before Nyx had been born.
His bedroom door remained closed, exactly how he’d left it this morning. Inside, the sheets on the bed would be turned down. Wood would be stacked in the fireplace. Whiskey would be waiting in the decanter on the table. Wine would be chilling.
He’d prepped the room specifically for tonight. Anton walked by the door without entering. Nyx had demanded a dance. He’d give it to her. Hopefully, she’d remember it years from now, treasuring it as he would.
He quickened his pace, jogging up the stairs to the open room above his bedroom. The air cooled with each step. On windy days, you couldn’t stand in the open tower room without your hair being tossed or your clothes being plastered to your body. Tonight, calmness hung over the house. It wouldn’t last. The approaching storm would eradicate it. For now, peace reigned.
Anton strode to the middle of the room and faced the stairwell. Minutes passed. He didn’t move from his spot. Nyx was coming. He felt her in his bones, as if the mystical connection they shared had a physical force.
Nyx turned the corner. Barefoot, she carried her heels in one hand. Anton focused on her small feet. A dark polish covered her toes. A small silver moon dangled from a chain around her ankle. The details made Nyx appear real. The thought struck him as off. Of course she was real. He’d touched her. He didn’t understand why his mind drifted to such a meaningless point, but he knew how to get rid of those confusing thoughts.
“Come here.” Anton held out his hand.
Nyx set her heels on the floor near the wall, then approached him. Her slow steps offered him the perfect opportunity to admire her beauty. If her heavy-lidded expression was any indication, she was drinking in his image too.
She reached for him. He curled his finger around her delicate hand and drew her close. Her breasts pressed against his chest. Her scent wrapped around him. He settled one hand at Nyx’s lower back, the other between her shoulder blades, and rested his cheek on the top of her head. Then held her.
Peace slipped through him. He wanted to stay like this forever.
“There’s no music playing.” Nyx wrapped her arms around him. “We can’t dance without music.”
“We’ll make our own.” Anton slid his hand over Nyx’s back, then swayed with her, leading her in a slow dance that had nothing to do with music and everything to do with pleasure.
Nyx’s sigh spoke of contentment. She turned her head and rested her cheek over his heart.
They moved with each other, gliding across the floor as if they both heard the same music. Anton stroked his hands over Nyx’s back, pulling her closer. She did the same. Nyx’s nails scraped his back. Her hair brushed his arm. He fisted the strands and tipped her head back. Her brown eyes held a glint of victory. He didn’t know what she thought she won. He couldn’t allow himself to care.
He took her mouth in a brutal kiss, devouring her. He couldn’t get enough of Nyx. Would never get enough of Nyx. The anger he felt moments ago returned, stronger than ever. Nyx had done this to him. She’d come to his home, destroyed his perfect balance and the routine that had kept his sanity in check for centuries. The anger darkened. Rage replaced it. Or hatred. He couldn’t tell.
On a curse, he tore the front of her dress. She gasped. He heard the sound. Understood what it meant. He was losing control.
“Nyx.” Anton gripped the strap of her bra. He wanted it off. “Do you remember how to speak?”
“Yes.”
The word came out as softly as it had the first night she’d come to his house. She’d meant it then. He had to assume she meant it now.
Lips parted slightly, Nyx watched him, waiting on his next words. He drank in every inch of her. She was beautiful, curvy in all the right places. He would know every inch tonight, but nothing he would do to her would leave his mark on her. She’d walk away from him as if he’d never touched her.
Never loved her.
The darkness eating away at his soul spread through him. He clenched his jaw and focused on the woman who had stirred these emotions. With her chest exposed and her attentive gaze on him, Nyx fit his perfect fantasy. He’d play it out, savoring every detail. Tomorrow morning, he’d turn the page and move on.
Exhaling, he caught her gaze. “Decades, Nyx. It’s been decades since I’ve so much as touched myself.”
Nyx searched his face, looking for something. He didn’t know what. Finally, she met his eyes. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” Truth or lie. He couldn’t be certain. Didn’t know if his indifference to women or sex meant anything. Maybe he’d been waiting for Nyx. “But I know I’m hungry now.”
“So am I.”
Tightening his grip on Nyx’s hair, he tipped her head back, leaned over her, and kissed her. Hard. Brutally. He ate at her mouth and sucked on her tongue, exploring her as if he’d never kissed her before. He devoured every sound she made from the mewling groans to deep moans. Her passion enflamed him. Never before had he ever been this excited.
“Nyx.”
There was more than lust in his voice. He heard it. He didn’t know what it meant. He knew what he felt, though. He’d waited so long for heaven. Too long. Now he’d be cast out. He wasn’t worthy of it.
He didn’t deserve Nyx, not even for a night. He had her, though. He wouldn’t let her go.
Without breaking the wild melding of their mouths, Nyx reached between their bodies and aroused him more. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, taking her air and replacing it with his. All the while, she made him crazed with her bold caresses.
It was too much yet not enough. He tore his mouth from hers and tipped up her chin. Those big brown eyes of hers opened to her soul. She was pure. Innocence for the taking.
A low rumbling sound escaped him. It didn’t resemble anything a human would make. His cats were close, sharing in this moment.
His cats would love Nyx for eternity. Not in a physical way. They’d love her for the ecstasy she’d bring him, knowing when he was at peace, they would be too. They were linked. His moods affected them as much as theirs affected him.
Nyx would bridge them, making everything more potent, from sex to strength. She’d give them a reason to live as one entity.
It wouldn’t happen, though. He’d chosen the Council long before she’d been born. That was the reality. In this moment, his role didn’t matter. Only this night—what he and Nyx did together—mattered. He’d let his cats love Nyx while they could. Their rage could be dealt with tomorrow. Then ignored. The way Nyx aroused him couldn’t be ignored, however.
She worked his body as if she’d been loving him forever. But her every caress left him on the brink, never taking him over. She was teasing him. Intentionally.
Anton held Nyx’s head between his hands. He glared at her. “I’m not a man to tease. I warned you about that. How you shouldn’t play games with me.”
“Everyone should play sometimes.” Nyx leaned in and nipped his chin. “Let me show you how good it can be.”
He took her mouth. Again. He couldn’t get enough of her. Nyx met the wild kiss, twining her tongue with his as if she could crawl inside him. She wiggled against him. He heard a zipper. Her skirt fell, landing on his feet. He kicked the material aside while she tore at his shirt, popping the buttons and clawing at his pants, trying to get them down. He grasped her hands and yanked them back.
“My terms.” He’d never survive otherwise. She’d be reborn someday, getting another chance at life and love. He’d have only this night. His work would warm his bed tomorrow. And for eternity. “Always my terms.”
“Yes. Anything. Everything. Just kiss me again.” A hint of desperation edged her words.
He groaned. Then he did. He kissed Nyx. He took from her. He teased her, taking her to the brink of ecstasy and pulling her back before she could fall. Over and over again until she trembled in his arms and begged for relief.
“You’re delicious. Perfect. I could become addicted to you.” The words were out of his mouth before he thought better of them. Too late. He couldn’t take them back.
Anton distracted Nyx before she could question him or respond. There was no room for talking in what they were doing anyway. Except they had to. No matter how much he wanted Nyx, he wouldn’t hurt her. Physically, at least. Emotionally? Well that was a different story.
“Have you forgotten how to speak, Nyx? You know how to stop this if you change your mind.”
“I remember. And I won’t. I want this.” Nyx drew him close. “But remember. Words can be a powerful weapon.”
Nothing was truer. He shut down the thought before guilt consumed him. “And I wield them expertly.”
“So can I.”
There was a warning in her voice. Did she suspect something of him? A motive about what tonight really meant? In the end, it didn’t matter. There was only one way he’d greet the morning. Alone.
Until then, he needed to drug himself on Nyx, over and over, until he banished her from his life.
On a growl, he took from Nyx. Every lick and swallow met his needs. Every prodding drive of his tongue brought him more of the rich flavor he loved. Everything for him. Not Nyx. He had to focus on him.
With his hands gripping Nyx’s hips, he picked her up and lowered them to the hard floor, using his body as her bed.
She clung to him as if he was the only thing grounding her. He liked that idea. Liked it more than he should.
“Anton?” Nyx flexed her hands over his chest. Sharpened nails pressed into his skin. “You need to know. You’re the only man I’ve done this with.”
Nyx’s words flipped a switch inside him. The possessiveness he’d been fighting seized him. He drew Nyx close and kissed her. She met him stroke for stroke, kiss for kiss. They moved in perfect synchronization. He never wanted the moment to end. It had to, though. The needs he had ignored for centuries were too much.
When her body slumped over his, she buried her face against the crook of his neck. The warmth of her exhales slipped through him. Peace surrounded him, tying him to this female. His true mate. The one woman he was supposed to take on the world for. He couldn’t. Loving Nyx put her at risk. Mating her was forbidden. He’d abandoned her long before she’d ever been born. He couldn’t change that.
Yet.