The days at the Cottage went by without Polly. Lynn missed her terribly. With Daisy and Rusty full-time, they were managing well, but it wasn’t the same. She and Polly had built the Cottage from scratch, planning every detail of the educational space and programs. Leonora Morgan had lent a decorating hand, but it was their school, and they were both so proud of it. What if something happens and she can’t come back? Lynn thought numerous times throughout each day. The thought left her feeling cold and lonely. Every evening, she would stop by Polly and Kevin’s to say hello. Sometimes on the weekends, she’d visit with Polly while Kevin and Jasper had an outing or Phyllis needed to run errands. Polly always knew what to say to cheer her up.
“It’s gonna be okay, I bet,” she said one evening as the two friends sat by the fire. The weather had turned uncharacteristically cold for the end of September, and Kevin had lit the fire before taking Jasper to the movies. They were meeting the Morgan family so that the two boys could enjoy the newest superhero movie together. Phyllis had gone back to Lynn’s to take a bath.
“It’ll be what it’ll be,” Lynn said, stretching out. “I’m sure we can be friendly and professional. It’ll be weird at first, but I can handle it.”
“You can totally handle it, but can he?”
“It’s his promise and his mess,” she said. “There, I’ve said it. I’m pissed.”
“Does he know that?”
“No, but what’s the use? It won’t change anything. Just make things awkward.”
“I thought I might get Mom to drive me down to visit Monday,” Polly said. “I miss you and the kids.”
“We miss you, but that might not be a good idea. They’ve all got colds, and you don’t need that.”
“Well… Maybe later in the week. I can wear rubber gloves. I’m going stir-crazy here.”
“Only a few more weeks, right?”
“Baby’s not due till the end of October. I’m hoping to hang on to her until then so she’ll be healthy.”
“So, enjoy the rest. It’ll be the last until she’s beyond the teenage years.”
Polly smiled, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “I’m so glad we’re having these babies together. It’ll be so much fun watching them grow up together.”
Lynn nodded. “It’s gonna be cool.”
“Lynn, if something happens… If I don’t…you know—”
“Hey, hey, where’s that coming from?”
“Please let me finish. If something happens to me, you’ll look after Kev and the kids for me, won’t you? I mean, I would hope he’d find a wonderful woman to marry, and I’ve made it clear to him that that’s what I want. But just in case that takes a while, promise me you’ll look after them.”
“You know that’s not going to be necessary, sweetie.” Please, God, don’t let it be necessary!
“Please, Lynn! Please promise.”
Lynn squeezed her hand. “Of course, you got it.”
“Thank you,” Polly said, smiling as she let out a long sigh.
“Hello, welcome,” Elise Nolan said, stepping aside to allow Gus to enter her small, comfortable office.
“Thanks so much for seeing me on such short notice.”
“Of course. Would you like something to drink? Water? Tea? Coffee? A soft drink or seltzer?”
“Water would be great, thanks.”
The therapist opened a small refrigerator and brought out two bottles of water, one of which she handed to him. “Sit, please,” she said, indicating one of the overstuffed chairs. She took the other, sat, and opened her water, taking a swallow. A long-distance runner according to Kyle, her short dark hair was cropped and spiky and she wore leggings, a long-sleeved tee and clogs, which she let slide onto the floor as she crossed her legs under her.
“Now then, how can I help?”
“Could I just kind of tell the whole story?” he asked.
“Please.” Her eyes were warm and encouraging.
When he finished, he said, “That’s it. I’ve hurt someone I care very deeply about and yet I feel a loyalty to a woman who gave her life for our son. I literally have no idea what to do.”
“Hmm,” Elise said, shifting slightly in her chair. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to be with Lynn. I love her. But I made a promise to Lissie that I cannot break.”
“Why is that?”
“I believe in keeping promises.”
“I do too, but keeping promises is, perhaps, something we reserve for the living?”
Gus shrugged. “You’ve got me there. All I know is that my wife was dying, but very clear.”
“Yes.”
“How does this work? Do you give advice?”
“I prefer not to advise but to provide a listening space where my clients can make their own decisions.”
“Have you had clients who have made promises like this? The leader of my bereavement group called them deathbed promises.”
“I have known people, yes.”
“What did they do?”
“Everyone makes different choices.”
“So some people break promises like this?”
Elise paused, sipping her water, pensive for a minute or two before responding. “I wonder if it’s helpful to look at them as broken?”
“What else would it be? I mean, technically I’ve already broken part of my promise ’cause Lynn’s going to have our baby. I can’t stop her and wouldn’t want to if I could.”
“That seems a little gray to me,” she said, setting her water bottle on the table. “Can you really characterize what’s happened as breaking a promise? It sounds like the pregnancy was unexpected, was it not?”
“Completely. Lynn was always adamant about protection.”
“So the pregnancy is an unexpected joy? Disappointment? Accident? Catastrophe? How would you describe it? Would you characterize is as an intentional action to break a promise?”
“No to the last. Unexpected for sure. Happy, because I love kids and I know Lynn will be a terrific mother.”
“So is it fair to say that the baby is not a deliberate act to break a promise?”
He nodded. “When you think about it, no, it doesn’t seem to fit.”
“But it happened, and it does go against your deceased wife’s wishes.”
“Yes.”
“Making peace with that may be a constructive first step. Then making peace with whether you want to be involved in this child’s life in any way. That is, if Lynn is agreeable.”
“Yes. What about the rest?”
“That’s for you to decide, Gus. It doesn’t sound as if you intended to break your promise to Lissie in falling in love with Lynn. It happened. It’s your present-day reality. What you do or don’t do with that realization is up to you.”
He smiled. “It makes perfect sense talking about it now. It’s a shame I’m leaving soon and can’t come back.”
“Maybe,” she said, softly, “but from where I’m sitting, you don’t need me. You need Lynn. You guys together can decide what makes sense going forward. Maybe friends? Maybe more? You could take things slow and see where they lead.”
As Gus walked out onto the sidewalk in Horseshoe Crab Cove, the afternoon shone brightly, and he shielded his eyes. Thank you, Elise Nolan, he thought, his mind and body calmer than they’d been in many weeks.