Minneapolis
The phone startled Sofia.
“Sofia.” It was Dan on the phone. “Lily told me to call you.”
“How’s Lily? She seemed pretty upset.”
“She’s okay.” His voice was subdued. “Can you meet me for lunch?”
“Of course.” Sofia sat up straight.
“One o’clock at Casa Blanca for tapas?”
“See you there.” Sofia sniffed under her arms. She smelled like death. Upstairs, she stripped off her clothes as she walked from the landing to the bathroom until she was in front of Kate’s room naked. She pulled Kate’s door closed. As it made a loud click, she sank to the floor in front of the door on her hands and knees, sobbing, her hair hanging down around her face. After about five minutes, she wiped her tears and snot off on her bare arm.
Stepping into the shower, she turned the dial as hot as she could stand it, welcoming the stinging needlelike feeling of the near scalding water pounding onto her back and into her scalp.
Leaning against the tiled shower wall, she let the water pour off her head into a white-hot curtain in front of her face. Her knees were weak. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had more than a few crackers and cheese to eat. The thought of having tapas at Casa Blanca, one of her favorite restaurants, made her nauseous. But she had to eat. She had to stay strong to complete her plan.
After her shower, she gathered her hair back in a long ponytail and headed for her closet. She reached for a casual black linen dress with a scooped neckline, a tight waist and a straight skirt to the knee. She slipped on tan sandals, swiped on a slick of red lipstick. Grabbing her bag, she fished out her car keys.
Pulling into a vacant spot along Central Avenue, she glanced at the clock in her car. Only five minutes late. Pretty damn good considering.
Dan rose to kiss her cheek. She sank into her chair, suddenly tired. Grief was exhausting.
“I’ve ordered a tapas platter and two beers,” he said, reaching over to pat her hand. She clocked the three empty beer bottles already by his plate. He’d gotten here early. Maybe even called from here.
“Thanks. I just can’t think,” she put her head in her hands. “I’m supposed to be out finding Kate’s killer and it’s all I can do to get through the day. And then I’m out having lunch with friends and getting drunk instead of hunting down the monster who killed my daughter.”
It all came out in one big breath and Sofia widened her eyes in surprise at her own outburst.
“I know.” Dan’s voice was quiet. The waitress appeared at her elbow and set down their beers and some plates and napkins.
“What’s up with the neighbor?” Dan peered at her over his glass.
“I don’t know. The detectives say everybody is a suspect at this point.”
Dan grabbed his beer and downed it in one long motion, wiping his chin delicately with a napkin when he was done. “You know, getting drunk seems like the most reasonable option to me.” He signaled for another beer.
For the first time since she walked in, Sofia took a good look at Dan. He had deep circles under his eyes and sallow skin. He didn’t look healthy. She thought about the heart attack he’d had three years ago.
“You feeling okay, Dan?”
He shrugged.
“How’s Lily? I’m worried about her. She said something about wanting to die. That worries me, Dan.”
For a second, something flashed across Dan’s face. Something she couldn’t interpret. But it was gone before she could grasp it.
“I’m watching her closely. I think she’s going to take the whole semester off.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He pressed his lips together. “Any closer to finding Kate’s killer?” He didn’t look at her as he spoke. She ignored his question, staring at how the armpits of his shirt were dark with perspiration.
“What’s going on, Dan?”
He shook his head and sighed. “It’s Gretchen. She’s convinced I’m having an affair. I’m worried she’s not mentally stable. Her jealousy – she’s always been bad, but now it’s really dangerous. She’s gotten violent with me. She actually swung at me. Got me right smack in the jaw. It didn’t really hurt, but I’m worried. I honestly think she might hurt someone. She’s a little delusional. Imagining things that aren’t true. She keeps saying I’m going to hell and if she doesn’t work hard to get me to confess my sins, she’ll go to hell with me.”
Sofia didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t tell Dan that Gretchen was a psycho bitch and they’d always known that.
He blew out a burst of air. “Will you please let me know if she says anything weird to you? She’s got some odd ideas in her head right now. I’m worried she’s trying to sabotage my friendship with other women. God knows how far she’ll stoop to do that.”
Sofia rested her chin on her fist, staring at Dan. “What do you mean?”
“She thinks I’m screwing around.”
“Really?”
“God knows when I’d even have time to have an affair—too much work. I can barely give enough of myself to Gretchen and Lily and my patients. I wouldn’t have time to have an affair.”
“No kidding. It’d be too much work, right?” Sofia laughed but then quickly sobered thinking of Jason working late.
“I feel awful even complaining to you about my own problems,” Dan said. “But you’re one of my best friends and I just needed to talk to somebody. That’s part of the problem. She doesn’t want me to talk to anyone. She’d probably freak out if she knew we were having lunch.”
Sofia tossed her head. “Now, that’s ridiculous.”
Dan was quiet and looked down. “Her church says that a man who is married should never be alone with a woman besides his wife.”
“What?” Sofia peered at him until he looked up at her.
“I know. It doesn’t even matter. I’m not even close to your league. You’re the New York Yankees and I’m the Little League team at the corner park. You’re perfect. Kate was just like you, too. Beautiful. Classy. Intelligent. The freaking Kennedy family. Even your last name is like royalty. Not basket cases like us Williams. Lily is such a mess. And I know it’s all my fault. God forgive me.”
“Oh, fuck, Dan, now you’re being absurd.” Sofia shook her head and took another swig of beer.
“Plus, you’re not the cheating kind, anyway,” he added.
A flush of guilt raced through her. Her teeth had been brushed a dozen times in the past few days trying to get the taste of that boy off her lips.
Dan went on. “It’s okay. I’ve always known that the really pretty girls—women—were out of my league. I’ve always been a nerdy guy who was awkward around girls. My whole life. I’m used to it now and accepted it. Now I’m a nerdy, chubby, balding guy. That’s why I was so shocked when Gretchen asked me out.”
“Hold the phone,” Sofia held up a palm. “Gretchen asked you out?”
“I know, hard to believe, right?”
“I don’t mean that, silly. I mean I didn’t know she was the … aggressor. I mean, it makes sense and all with her personality, but it seems like since I’ve known her she’s been born again and adultery is such a big sin in her eyes, I just didn’t know.” Sofia chewed on her lip for a second. “Did she know you were married?”
“Yeah, we met at some fundraiser for the psych department at the U and she cornered me and asked me out. I told her I was married. I’m not proud of it, but by the end of the night, she was sucking me off in the backseat and telling me she wanted me to get her pregnant.”
Sofia held her palm out. “Holy shit, Dan, too much information.”
Dan blushed. “Sorry. But what’s a guy going to do when a woman with the body of a sixteen-year-old wants you like that and your own wife hasn’t had sex with you for a year? Carla stopped having sex with me the second she found out she was pregnant.”
Sofia sighed. She didn’t know what to say.
“Now, even though Gretchen seduced me, she holds that against me every second of every day, saying I cheated on Carla with her, so what’s to stop me from screwing anything that walks?”
Again, Sofia was speechless. As he spoke, Dan held his hand up to signal he wanted another drink, but knocked over one of the empty bottles by his plate. It crashed loudly onto the floor, but didn’t break.
“I’m driving you home,” Sofia said, trying to hide her concern.
“Deal.” Dan cleared his throat. “Um, Sofia. I swung by your house the other night. Your car was in the driveway but you didn’t answer the door.”
Her blood ran cold. “Oh yeah?” She tried to keep her voice steady. “What night was that?”
“Two nights ago. You know the day you came to see me in my office.”
The night Jason worked until 2 a.m. or the night she was in the hotel with that boy?
Sofia took a slug off her beer to avoid his eyes. She realized she was buzzed, too. Nobody would be driving for a while.
“I knocked and knocked but you must have been totally passed out. I told you to be extremely careful with the Rohypnol. It can be deadly.”
“I am careful. Only two drops at a time.” For a split second, she considered telling him what she had done, where she had been.
“I almost called 911.” He gave her a look that she couldn’t read. It made her squirm. Did he know? He almost called 911. But he didn’t. In her buzzed state of mind, Sofia mulled this over and then let it go.
She smiled, even though it felt like her face was a plastic mask. “I must have been in a really deep sleep.”
He nodded, but she could tell by the way he was watching her he didn’t buy it.
“Do you like being married to Gretchen?” Sofia tried to change the subject.
He shrugged. “Sometimes. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I can’t get a divorce. Even if I wanted one. I’m a marriage counselor for Christ’s sake, how would that look to my patients? A divorced counselor giving them advice? The only thing they would accept is if I were a widower. Then they’d all feel sorry for me.” He took another swig of beer. “What a joke. And besides, a divorce would destroy Lily. She would hate me forever if I ever left Gretchen. As far as Lily is concerned Gretchen is, and always will be, her mother.”
Sofia sucked on her bottom lip for a second. She had to admit that Gretchen was a good mother to Lily. She took another sip of her beer. Her head buzzed. They’d have to call an Uber to get home.
“Enough about me,” Dan said, leaning forward and taking Sofia’s hands. “How are you? Do the police think this guy, this neighbor, did it for sure? Are they going to charge him so we can finally end this and all relax?”
Sofia shook her head, irritated. “I don’t know.” She closed her eyes for a second. “Oh God, Dan. I know it’s not true, but I can’t help but believe that some of this pain, maybe the tiniest smidgen of it, will go away if the person who did this to Kate dies a terrible death.”
There she said it. She looked up at Dan with eyes flashing. Dan was silent for a few seconds. They stared at one another. Finally, Dan looked out the window and sighed. “You’re not taking those pills, are you?”