Her dad had lied. Ellie knew it. It was a fact.
Mr. Dawson hadn’t talked to him about a “change in career” like her dad claimed.
Something had happened. Charlie must’ve told her dad and her dad must’ve told Janet because ever since her dad had met Mr. Dawson for a drink, Janet had been avoiding her. Until last night.
That’s when Janet had told Ellie they were having a “Girl’s Weekend” in Big Sur while her dad had a big two-day poker tournament at the mayor’s house on the coast or something. She and Janet would get massages, take mud baths, get manis, pedis, and ride horses on the beach.
Janet was a Chatty Cathy on the drive down south, which Ellie blamed on the supersized latte she’d picked up at an Apple Valley Starbucks. For the first time, Janet let Ellie sit in the front seat of the Mercedes.
“Your dad and I don’t see eye to eye on everything and I think you are totally old enough to sit up front with me,” Janet said, tossing her red hair and giving Ellie a long slow wink of her heavily made up eyes.
Ellie didn’t argue, just snapped her own seatbelt, wishing Janet hadn’t worn so much perfume. She’d been begging her dad to let her sit up front for a year. He wanted her to be a little taller first so the airbag didn’t “decapitate her.” Sometimes he was so dramatic.
After they drove through Starbucks, Ellie wished she’d taken Janet up on the offer to get a Turtle Mocha—another thing her dad didn’t let her do because of the caffeine—instead of the kid’s hot chocolate, which was gone in five minutes.
Janet hadn’t stopped talking for the entire first two hours of the drive. She shared stories about her life in Los Angeles as a model and all the movie stars she hung out with at Malibu parties and how famous actors had pursued her, sending her flowers, drunkenly banging on her apartment door in the middle of the night, showing up at all her modeling gigs.
“Oh honey, he was cute, but he was bad news. He’d slept with everything that had boobs in L.A. I mean, I do have some self-respect, you know. Plus, here’s a little secret here between us girls—boys want what they can’t have and as soon as you give it to them, they are gone. Poof.”
Ellie didn’t know what she meant and didn’t want to know. She turned away, staring out the window at the golden rice fields glowing in the sun.
She tuned Janet out, imagining scenarios where once they got to Big Sur’s winding highway perched above the ocean, she could jerk the steering wheel and make them crash. In her daydream, the car would go off the cliff and tumble down hundreds of feet to the rocks below. Janet would die a terribly painful death, but she’d somehow survive. She could just imagine her dad weeping with gratefulness when they pulled the wreckage of the car up and she was still alive.
“Ellie?”
“Huh?” She was snapped out of her daydream.
“Oh, nothing.”
Janet must have realized she went too far because she shut up for the first time in one hundred miles.
But it didn’t last long, in Sacramento, they pulled into another Starbucks and Janet used the bathroom and bought another soy latte. This time Ellie ordered a Turtle Mocha.
With glossy, blown out hair, petal pink polish on her fingernails and toenails, a full face of makeup, and a new outfit from the Saks store in Carmel, for the first time in her life, Ellie didn’t feel like Janet viewed her as a bratty little kid. Maybe she actually did like her. Ellie knew if she didn’t do what Shadow Man said, she’d pay for it, but Janet was being so nice. Maybe she could wait a little bit.
When they walked into the candlelit Carmel restaurant, people turned around in their seats to look at them. She was used to this with her stepmother, but tonight it was different—they were looking at her this time, as well.
Janet noticed, too.
She flicked an annoyed glance at Ellie and whispered, “You might want to button that top button, honey. We don’t need to give them a free show.”
For once, Janet’s words didn’t make Ellie want to roll her eyes.
And for once, Ellie did what Janet suggested.
While it felt good to have people paying attention to her, it also felt a little weird, especially to see men her dad’s age appraising her. A tiny flutter of something ugly flip-flopped around inside her, a dark memory she tried to push away. But for a few seconds she was back in the darkness of that night so many years ago. Janet shot her a concerned look.
That’s when Ellie knew for sure. Her dad had never told Janet about what had happened. It didn’t matter anyway. The creep was dead now. Dead. Dead. Dead.
So, what if all these disgusting perverts looked at her. They couldn’t touch her. If anyone hurt her, she’d have Shadow Man take them out. She was so close to leaving all this behind anyway.
She tossed her hair and tried to act normal. She was almost thirteen. In another month, she’d be a teenager. But even so, she slowed her pace, so Janet was the one trailing the maître d instead.
All day, Janet had talked to Ellie like another adult, like a friend. And she genuinely seemed to want to give Ellie life advice.
“You are a beautiful girl,” Janet had told Ellie as they slipped into the slimy mud bath at Elysium Fields earlier in the day. “You will be able to make men do whatever you want. But you are more than that, Ellie. You are also intelligent. Make sure that you use those brains to protect yourself. Men can be horrible and break your heart in two, crush your soul into pieces, rip out your insides …” Janet trailed off, her eyes gazing off into the distance, growing glossy.
Ellie wondered if Janet was remembering her uncle. She wanted to shake her and say, “Don’t think about it. You mustn’t ever think about it or it will destroy you.”
Even thinking about trying to spare Janet pain surprised Ellie. They’d come a long way on this short girl’s weekend. Janet finally seemed to snap back and continued as if she’d never sat there staring into the void with her mouth wide open like a fish.
“Just make sure you find someone good, like your father. He is a good man. You find someone like your father; you’ll be just fine. Don’t settle.”
She put down her wine glass, leaned over and grabbed Ellie’s hand where it rested on the edge of the mud tub. She clutched Ellie’s fingers so hard it hurt. “Promise me. Promise me, you won’t settle for someone like that bastard John I was telling you about.”
Ellie nodded solemnly. Janet didn’t want her to get hurt. She must really care about Ellie. Remembering the conversation Ellie had overheard at the cabin—about Janet not loving her—it seemed okay now. It was a long time ago and maybe at the time Janet hadn’t loved her. Yet. After all, love takes time to grow, right? And she was pretty young to come in and be expected to be a mom. But she was trying this weekend. And maybe, just maybe, she was growing to love Ellie now.
“Say it. Say ‘I promise.’” Janet slurred her words a little and gestured wildly, splashing little droplets of mud on Ellie’s arm and face, but her gaze was fierce.
“I promise,” Ellie said and meant it with her whole heart.
Satisfied, Janet leaned back in the mud bath and ordered another glass of white wine from the woman in the black smock who was passing out warm washcloths.
Now, sitting at dinner, Janet was slurring her words even more. She’d finished off about half a bottle of wine in their cottage before slinging on a silk scarf and telling Ellie it was time to leave for dinner.
Janet ordered a Manhattan as soon as the waiter arrived and then leaned over to whisper to Ellie. “See over there? That’s Dirk Maven. He’s going to be the next James Bond. I’ve got it on good authority. Be cool. Don’t let him know you’re looking. Give a casual glance over to the right about thirty seconds after I sit back.”
Janet sat back, tossing her long red hair and winking at Ellie, who counted to thirty and then gave a discrete glance to the side. It was Dirk Maven.
“Don’t stare, darling. Be cool,” Janet said, giving a smug smile. Something about the shadows from the candle on their table made Janet look unfamiliar, like someone Ellie had never seen before. She was mesmerized by her stepmom and realized that maybe she hadn’t liked her stepmother all this time because she’d been jealous of her for taking her dad’s attention. Janet had this whole other life of movie stars and glamorous dresses and dinners and yet still moved to Sanctuary City to marry her dad and live a boring life in their stupid little town. For a second, Ellie realized that her stepmom must really love her dad to give up the life she’d led in L.A.
“Ellie? Are you listening?”
Ellie blinked and took a sip of her water, eying the rows of forks and spoons and knowing that when the food came she was going to screw it all up for sure.
Janet leaned down and spoke in a low voice. “Over there, is a veeerrrry famous actor from the eighties. She’s a little washed up now, but in the day, everyone knew who she was. Oh, wait, she saw me. Here she comes.”
A heavily made up woman stuffed into a tight fuchsia dress wobbled over to their table.
“Janet, darling, it’s been years,” the woman leaned down and kissed Janet on both cheeks.
“Patricia. You look stunning, as always. Are you staying at your Pebble Beach house?”
“Yes. George is celebrating his sixtieth birthday party so we are having the members of One Direction play a private concert. That’s what all the kids are into now, I guess. His granddaughter, Violet, requested them so I naturally agreed. We try to stay at least a little bit ‘with it’ you know? Will you still be around tomorrow night? I can have Chris send over an invite and pass.”
Ellie held her breath until Janet said thank you, but, no, they had to get home in the morning.
The subject was changed and Ellie tuned out the rest of the two women’s conversation. Instead, she watched how other diners in the restaurant shot looks at her and Janet and then bowed their heads to whisper.
When the woman left, Ellie sat back in wonder. A private party with One Direction playing? And she and Janet had been invited? She almost wanted to beg Janet to stay another night just so she could go to the party. Instead, she simply stared at her stepmom in awe.
As soon as she could, Ellie was going to write Shadow Man and tell him that plans had changed. She didn’t want to kill Janet anymore. She wanted to stay with Janet and her dad. Things would be better. They could be a real family with just a little bit more effort. This weekend was proving that.
Janet kept talking.
“I’ve always known the restaurants that are happening, even in the cities where I vacation. Chalk another one up to me.” She winked and with one manicured burgundy fingernail made a slash in the air between them.
A few minutes later, Janet was delicately sipping the broth of her clam linguine when something went down the wrong pipe. She started coughing, at first, smiling between coughs and holding her big damask napkin up to her mouth, but soon her eyes began to water and she gasped out, “Be right back.”
She smoothed her dress and slipped through the crowd toward the sign that said restrooms.
Ellie watched her stepmom weave through the tables and saw the looks that the men gave her and the other kinds of looks the women gave her. People turned to watch her go and then cast curious glances back at Ellie who felt her face grow warm.
When she turned back to the table, she saw that Janet’s phone was lit up with a call. The ringer had been muted. When Ellie saw it was her dad calling, she reached for the phone but by the time her palm landed on it, the call had disconnected.
She was about to call her dad back when the waiter swooped in with the dessert tray. After eyeing the double fudge chocolate cake slice, she thought of Janet’s rules about no dessert to maintain one’s figure and decided to wait until her stepmom came back to the table. She’d been gone a long time. It was then that Ellie noticed her dad had left a message. Looking around and not seeing Janet yet, she quickly pressed the button to play back the voice mail.
“Hey sexy, just wanted to see how it was going with Ellie? Do you think you’re making some headway with her?”
Ellie froze but kept the phone pressed to her cheek.
“Why don’t you give me a call back as soon as you get this. I’m losing my ass. But it’s the price I pay to keep my job, you know. Do what they want. Even if it means folding when I have a full house. Oh well. Hey, listen, I know Ellie didn’t mean it, but I just want to make sure everything is okay. She’s really a good kid. Who knows what Matt’s daughter has to gain by saying that anyway? Probably just jealous of Ellie or something.”
Ellie’s vision started to close in on her and her throat was clogged with something that felt like fury and shock. A ball of rage she couldn’t swallow.
Her dad knew. Janet knew.
Janet had left her purse on the table. Looking around, Ellie rummaged through it and quickly grabbed two sleeping pills from the jeweled case Janet kept them in. With one smooth motion, she put the pills between her linen napkin and crushed them with the handle of her butter knife. Moving the napkin into her lap, she dumped the powder into her palm. Pretending to reach across the table, she let her palm rest on the edge of Janet’s wine glass. She ran her palm along the edge until the powder was scraped off into the glass.
Holding her breath, she looked around. Nobody was watching except one tiny elderly lady with a pink cardigan and pearls. The woman tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at Ellie. Ellie’s pulse raced as the woman leaned over and said something to the middle-aged couple at her table. They both glanced over at Ellie who gave them a winning smile. Then the couple laughed and patted the woman on the hand, turning back to their conversation. The elderly woman appeared to get mad, but the couple didn’t turn around again.
About forty-five seconds later, Janet slid back into her seat with fresh powder and lipstick.
Her stepmom gulped the rest of the wine in her glass and then delicately patted her face with her white linen napkin. A few seconds later, she pushed back her chair.
“Come on, Ellie, let’s go. I think I’ve had way too much to drink. I’m glad the cottage isn’t a long walk because I’m starting to feel a little loopy. But hey, how often do we get a girl’s weekend away together. It’s been worth it.”
Ellie glared at her through slit eyes, but Janet could barely keep her own eyes open enough to notice.
Walking back to the cottage, they took a path that rose up high along a ridge overlooking the ocean. Janet paused and gasped at the moonlight reflecting on the water below. “It’s so beautiful.”
Behind her, Ellie took in the low wooden fence and saw how it hit Janet just at the thighs, just maybe she would be able to put her weight behind her … everyone at the restaurant had seen how drunk Janet was. They wouldn’t be surprised. It was believable.
Ellie stared at the back of her stepmom. Janet was weaving a little bit on her feet. Ellie had been such a fool. She’d wanted so badly to believe that Janet liked her, maybe even loved her that she’d fallen for her entire act.
Because it had all been an act.
Janet, the wannabe actress, had put on her best performance yet.
But, Ellie thought, she might be the better actress after all.
Pretending to stumble, she threw her body into Janet’s midsection hard, knocking her stepmom off her feet and over the low fence.
She waited a few seconds and then, she started to scream.