Kathleen stood at the rail of the ferry with a few other passengers, offlanders who were ending their holiday stay on Little Sister. It was a gray day—gray sea, gray sky with heavy clouds, so that it was impossible to tell where ocean ended and sky began.
The others moved into the cabin, but Kathleen stayed where she was. Behind her, the door opened, and she figured her father was coming out to check on her.
“Best get inside, gal.”
She smiled at Fred’s voice. “You said that to me my first time back here, remember?”
He stood beside her at the rail. “I do. Didn’t know what you were thinkin’, comin’ back in October, didn’t know enough to come in out of the spray.”
She chortled. “Guess I still don’t.”
“Didn’t think you’d stick it out, but you made a liar out of me.”
“Glad about that.”
He laid a heavy hand on her shoulder. “Heard the ceremony for your ma was real nice.”
“It was. Thanks.” She glanced toward the cabin, where her dad sat, his laptop open. “We’re headed to Philly now. For the last one.”
“Mo not comin’?”
“She and Rebecca will be on the ferry in a couple weeks. She had jobs she needed to finish before she could get away.” She paused. “And I need to help my dad clear things out.”
He squeezed her shoulder and released her. “Don’t catch a chill, hear?”
“I won’t.”
He went back into the cabin, leaving her with her thoughts.
Can a person feel like a color? she wondered. If so, she matched her surroundings. She felt gray, as if her outlines were smudged and indistinct, as if, were she to walk into the gray out there, she would simply fade into it.
She wasn’t really angry with her mother anymore. Or her dad. She wasn’t really anything. The ceremony had been beautiful. Rebecca and Molly had got word out, and nearly the entire island had shown up at the cemetery where Rebecca had said some nice words about Christine finally finding some peace with the past and laid a portion of the ashes in the small hole Molly had dug. Not a real grave, but it would have a permanent marker eventually. Just a wooden board for the time-being.
Now, on to the final stage of this journey. Will it be over then?
She wondered that again several hours later, when the Range Rover pulled into the driveway. The trip had been pleasant enough, with her dad chatting more animatedly than normal about catching up with old friends on the island. But once they were in the house, Michael with a suitcase in one hand and the wooden box in the other, a heaviness settled over them.
He looked a little lost as he stood there in the vast two-story foyer.
“Here.” Kathleen set her bag down and took the container from him. “How about we put this here for now.”
She placed the box on the mantel in the family room. “There. I’m going to unpack.”
There was no room in this house that really felt like hers anymore. She chose one of the four bedrooms in a wing on the opposite side of the house from the master. It didn’t matter which. This was barely more than a hotel to her.
She found her father still standing in the family room, staring at the fireplace. It was unnerving to see him so undecided, so lost.
She took him by the arm. “Come on. I’ll make us some dinner.”
“I could fix something,” he offered.
“Right.” She snorted. “Frozen pizza, I’ll bet. No thanks.”
She whispered a prayer of thanks there were a few staples in the freezer and some of the canned goods she’d bought. She was able to whip up a meal of sautéed chicken tenderloins and green beans with rice.
“This is good,” Michael said as he took his first bite.
“Thanks.” Kathleen raised her fork. She had a feeling she was going to have to take charge. “We’ll go the funeral home tomorrow. Take care of an obituary and schedule a service. I guess they can also help us figure out what to do with the ashes.”
He nodded vaguely.
They ate for a moment, and then she said, “What now?”
He looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“You going to pick back up with your work? You traveled a lot.”
He frowned as he ate. “Changed that while your mom was sick. Most of my contacts got used to remote meetings. That doesn’t have to change.”
“Doesn’t have to not change,” she pointed out. “And this house.”
“What about it?”
“It was huge for two. It’s even bigger with you here alone. Who cleans?”
He shrugged. “I kept the service we were using.”
She glanced around at the polished, hard surfaces. “You could sell. It would probably fetch a nice price.”
His eyes widened. “Sell?”
“You could get a smaller house in Philly, maybe even in this neighborhood if you wanted.” Kathleen leaned her elbows on the table. “Dad, you could go anywhere. Start over.”
“Start over,” he echoed, but he looked lost again.
She cleared her throat, determined to say the rest of what was on her mind. “And I want you to know, I’m okay if you meet someone.”
He choked on the bite he’d tried to swallow. She half-rose, but he took a drink and sputtered, “Meet someone!”
“Dad,” she said patiently, “you’re still young, good-looking. You’re not going to be alone unless you want to be. Just,” she held up a hand, “please don’t take the first one who sets her sights on you.”
“What are you talking about?”
She gave him a pitying look. “You’re going to be a target for a lot of single women. Widowed, divorced, whatever. Take your time before you commit to someone new.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” he grumbled.
“Right.” She reached for her glass. “I’ll remind you of this conversation in six months.”
“Oh, I’m going to miss you both so much.” Meredith gave Jan and Barb tight hugs.
“We’ll be back,” Barb promised. “And I’ll bring my grandmother next trip.”
“Yes,” Jan said, her eyes darting around, searching the marina, “we’ll be back.”
“I’m so glad we got to meet your uncles before we left,” Barb said, hoisting her suitcase into the cargo area of her SUV.
Meredith lifted one of Jan’s bags inside. “I am, too. They’re a hoot. It’ll be good for Mom and Dad to have them around for a while.”
They got the last of Jan’s luggage stowed away, and then Fred waved Barb’s vehicle onto the ferry. Meredith walked Jan aboard.
“I’m sorry Joey isn’t here.”
Jan gave a nonchalant shrug that Meredith knew was forced. “Doesn’t matter. Guess he had better things to do.”
Aidan stomped onto the deck. “I’d love to have you come along on this trip, and you will if you don’t disembark now. I run on-time.”
“Go get in your captain’s chair or whatever it is you do.” She gave him a kiss and a swat on the butt. “We’ll just be a minute.”
He shook his head and muttered to himself as he climbed the steps into the pilot house.
Meredith’s throat was tight as she gave her friends one last hug. “Call me when you get home. Remember you can’t text me here.”
“Positively primitive,” Jan said with a shake of her head.
“Positively heaven,” Barb corrected. “What I’d give for students’ cell phones not to work.”
Meredith walked back down the gangplank and helped Joe unlock it from the dock. A few minutes later, the ferry sounded its horn and began the slow chug out of the marina. Barb and Jan remained on deck, waving to Meredith until they were out of sight.
“Nice girls,” Joe said.
“Thought Joey might come down to say good-bye.” Meredith watched his face for any telltale signs that he knew something, but Joe grinned.
“Joey?” He walked away, chuckling to himself.
She wandered up to the hotel, where she found Kenny rocking on the porch, a coffee cup in his hand. “Gosh, it’s good to see you guys.”
“You, too, sweetie.” He reached for her hand. “The holidays weren’t the same, visiting with you all on a computer screen instead of in person.”
“I know.”
They rocked together for a few minutes.
“You guys are still happy, after all this time?” he asked.
She chuckled at the hopeful note in his voice. “Afraid so. I think this is going to stick.”
“Damn.”
The screen door opened, and Art poked his head out. “There you are. Morning, Meredith.”
He took the chair on her other side. “Your hunk of a husband set sail?”
“He did. He’ll be back this evening. Thank goodness he was able to get the ferry schedule changed. If he were gone every night, I don’t know what we would have done.”
A thought occurred to her. “I have a question for you two. Aidan’s younger brother, Joey, is he gay?”
“Who?” Art asked.
“The handsome one at dinner who was carved from the same block of granite as Aidan,” Kenny said.
“Why were you noticing handsome men?” Art asked.
“Sweetheart, I’m married, not blind,” Kenny replied.
Meredith giggled. “Back to my question.”
“Why are you asking us?”
“Well,” Meredith stared in the direction the ferry had gone, “my friend, Jan, really liked him, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about it, but…”
“That dog won’t hunt?” Kenny finished for her.
“I don’t know if the dog won’t hunt, or if he doesn’t recognize the scent of what he should be hunting. Aidan said he can’t remember Joey ever having a girlfriend, but that doesn’t always mean anything on this island. So, it got me to wondering. Is he gay?”
“And you think we’ll know?” Art asked.
“Aren’t you guys supposed to have some telepathic sense about these things?”
They both burst into laughter.
“Honey,” Kenny said, “at our age, we have GD.”
She frowned. “GD. What’s that?”
“Gaydar dysfunction. Some things don’t work like they used to.”
Art held up a finger. “About that—”
“Oh, no.” Meredith shot out of her rocking chair and vaulted down the porch steps, their laughter following her.
Before Louisa could get up, Art topped off her glass with some of the wine they’d brought. “I do believe you’re trying to get me tipsy.”
He chuckled and sloshed some more wine into his own glass. “Maybe.”
The two of them were alone on the porch while Kenny and Roy encircled the house, taking inventory of the projects that needed to be done. Irene was finishing a painting up in her studio and had hollered down to make themselves comfortable until she could join them.
“How are you doing?” Louisa asked.
He glanced at her. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I seem to recall that last summer, when Irene was figuring out her connection to me, you were having a difficult time. Learning the way you did that you were adopted, and that your parents had never told you.”
He rocked for a few minutes, watching a rabbit nibbling its way across the yard. “Have to admit, it shook me pretty good.”
She nodded. “I expect it did.”
He swirled the wine in his glass. “Kenny was wonderful, of course. Listened to me grumble and complain for months. But it was Roy who helped the most.”
“Roy?”
“He sent me long emails, reminding me that a lot of people have to create families of choice when their birth families don’t accept them for being gay or marrying outside their race or a million other reasons. He said we never had to do that as far as Kenny and I were concerned, so we were luckier than many.”
She studied him, the strong profile with the hooked nose, jutting chin, dark beard shadow. “We could do that now.”
He turned to her. “What do you mean?”
“You’re my daughter’s brother. In most families, that would make you my son.” She smiled at his slack jaw. “Your choice, of course. Just know that I would be honored to think of you and Kenny as mine.”
He couldn’t seem to speak.
“I waited a long time for Irene to find her way back to me, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted her to. Now that she has, my world feels bigger. Better. We can make our family whatever we want it to be.”
She got to her feet and plucked her gardening hat off the back of the rocker before leaning down to kiss Art’s cheek. “Think about it.”
She left him and carried her wine with her to the garden. With her hat in place against the sun, she wandered her neat rows, picking a few weeds. She plucked a plump strawberry and popped it into her mouth, followed by a swallow of wine.
Sighing happily, she found Kenny and Roy sitting at the picnic table behind the house. “May I join you?”
“Of course.” Kenny held a hand to assist her while she lifted a leg over the bench.
“What are you two plotting?” she asked.
“A coup of this delightful island,” Kenny said.
Roy chuckled. “It would probably not be so delightful if a coup did happen.” He rubbed at his left shoulder.
Louisa noticed. “Are you all right?”
“Just sore from painting the trim,” he said. “It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself.”
They all turned to gaze at the house.
“Some stain on those shingles will protect them,” Kenny noted.
“That will be our next project,” Roy said. “Aidan can’t easily take an extended time off during the summer, but Molly promised to put us on her schedule. Between her, myself, Meredith, Aidan in the evenings, we’ll get it done this summer.”
“It makes me feel bad,” Louisa said, “the state this old house has fallen into.”
“Don’t,” Kenny said. “It’s not in bad shape at all. Nothing some TLC can’t fix. Art and I can help if we’re still here when you’re ready to do this.”
“I’ll leave you to your plotting,” Louisa said, spinning on her backside to swing her legs over the bench. “And you might want to go see if Art is okay. I may have upset him.”
She stood behind Roy and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good man, Roy Turner.”
Behind her, as she walked to the back porch, she heard the men mutter, “What was that about?”