1965
Jocelyn and I had a cell to ourselves in the county jail. It was exactly as I’d imagined a jail cell to be: disgusting. But after putting up with the Daweses’ outhouse, I figured I could handle the filthy exposed toilet and brown-stained sink. And after sleeping in my sleeping bag on the hard floor at the school, I could handle the wretched bare mattress—as long as it wasn’t infested. That thought kept me sitting up most of the night, my back against the hard, concrete wall.
They’d divided us up, Jocelyn and me in one car. The boys, including Curry, in the other. The officer didn’t answer when Jocelyn and I asked him what the charges were against us, but we knew it didn’t matter. We were headed to jail, no matter what.
When we were finally alone in the cell, we sat next to each other so we could whisper without any other prisoners overhearing us. The cell across from us was empty, but we could hear women’s voices coming from somewhere nearby. Yelling, mostly. Let me outta here! and Fuck y’all!
So it wasn’t until we were sitting side by side on the cool, filthy floor, our backs against the concrete wall, that Jocelyn whispered to me. “Where’s Win?”
“I got him out of the van when we saw the police go into the building to get y’all,” I said.
“Good,” she said. “I was worried. I hope the boys aren’t getting beaten up or anything.”
“Hope not,” I said, but I was thinking about Win out there in the pouring rain, not knowing which direction to head. At least he was safer out there than he would have been if he’d been found with me.
She smiled. “You’re in love with him,” she said. “Win.”
Oh God. We’d been way too careless tonight. Yet hearing those words warmed me and I couldn’t help my smile. I knew I could trust Jocelyn. “You could tell?” I asked.
“Uh-huh. Not just tonight, either,” she said, as if reading my mind.
I gave her a puzzled look. “How could you know?”
“You never take your eyes off him,” she said.
“Yes, I do too!” I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. There was no way she could know how I felt about Win. I hadn’t even realized my own feelings until the night before when I told him about Mattie.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s mutual. He never takes his eyes off you either.”
How could I have missed that? For a moment, I basked in that thought, but then my throat tightened. “Jocelyn,” I said quietly. “It’s not good.”
She was shaking her head before the words were out of my mouth. “I know,” she said. “And listen, Ellie. If I noticed, you can bet Greg has, too. He’s got his eye on you two. You need to be careful.”
“Rosemary was there tonight,” I said.
Jocelyn frowned. “Where?”
“At that club.”
“You’re kidding. Are you sure it was her?”
“Yes. And she saw Win and me leave together.”
A female voice suddenly ricocheted off the walls and metal bars, making us both jump. “What y’all whisperin’ about in there?”
Jocelyn and I looked at each other, then started giggling. “Nothing!” I hollered back. We waited a moment for her to speak again, but the woman was apparently done with us.
“Do you know where we are?” I whispered. “I mean, what town?”
“I have no idea. Carlisle, probably.”
“The van is still back at that crazy juke joint. Greg is going to be furious,” I said. “Do you think they’ll make us pay bail to get out of here?”
“I hope not. I have no money and SCOPE sure has no money.”
We were quiet for a while, sitting there. I was sure we were both dreading the moment we had to use that toilet. Finally I drew in a long, tired breath. “Wanna sing?” I asked.
“Why not?” she said.
I started singing “I’ll Fly Away” and pretty soon the woman with the booming voice joined in with us, and then another, and another. Finally, a woman way in the distance hollered for us to shut up. But we didn’t. We sat up singing our freedom songs for most of the night.