“Killed by thirty years of thought!”
So a London newspaper headlined its report of the strange death of a woman tennis star. This woman, as a small girl thirty years before, had watched in terror as her mother had died suddenly of a heart attack while being treated by a dentist. The traumatic experience so profoundly affected the child that in the thirty years that followed, she absolutely refused any dental treatment. The mere suggestion of going to a dentist terrified her. And this, despite the realization that the dentist to whom her mother had gone had no responsibility for her mother’s death. It was merely a coincidence that the heart attack which caused her death occurred in a dentist’s office.
Finally dental work became so necessary that the woman was compelled to have it done in spite of her terror. She insisted, however, that her physician accompany her to the dentist’s office. But it was to no avail. As she sat in the dentist’s chair, just like her mother had thirty years before, she was suddenly seized with a heart attack and died.
Thirty years of thought had indeed killed her—thirty years of a killing fear thought. Consider how thirty years of faith thoughts, thirty years of enthusiastic thoughts, might have changed the life of this woman.
But let me tell a human story of another sort, one with a much happier outcome. It concerns a man who suffered from fear until he was around fifty years of age. Then he got fed up with his state of mind, did something about it and got over it; in fact, he got so completely over it that he was never bothered by fear again. How was this remarkable deliverance accomplished? By enthusiasm. He hit upon the wonderful fact that enthusiasm powered in depth can cancel fear and worry. And just how does enthusiasm accomplish this astonishing feat? That question I intend to answer in this chapter.
The fears and anxieties of this man seemed to have begun in childhood and took many forms. Whenever he had a pain, which occurred frequently, he was sure it was cancer or some other fatal malady. When any of his children were out late at night he feared a phone call would bring news of an accident. Shyness activated by fear made him timorous with other people. Accordingly he did not show up well in personal relationships.
But despite his fear problems, and this is often a curious phenomenon in such cases, he was efficient in business. He had worked up to a position of top leadership. His associates who respected him highly would have been astonished had they known the full extent of his inner struggle and misery. They would not have believed or understood his deep inner conflict. But the fact that his trouble did not show on the surface indicated a basic strength, which suggested that if ever he made up his mind to do something about his fear he could get release and relief.
That is precisely what he did. It came about in this way: I chanced to be speaking one noonday to some two thousand men in the ballroom of the Conrad Hilton Hotel in Chicago. During the talk I dealt with the terrible effect of fear and worry on the human mind and described how through the efforts of our American Foundation of Religion and Psychiatry, people had been healed of anxiety. Following the luncheon, a man whom I had met earlier at a reception given by the officers of this outstanding business association, made some sort of pleasant reference to my speech, but instead of passing on he hesitated—“I don’t suppose you might have a moment to speak with me?” He rather shyly added, “Something you said in your talk is pretty important to me.”
Something about the man, some intensity, almost desperation, communicated itself and we went to my room for a talk. No sooner had the door closed than he began talking. It was highly nervous talk as though he was driven by some inner compulsion. Presently he stopped. “I’m embarrassed. I’ve never gone on like this before or told anyone of the hell I’ve lived in all my life. But your speech about fear has started me off, I guess.”
“Go on and talk it out,” I said. “Say everything. You must completely open your mind if you expect to exorcise the mass of fear imbedded in your consciousness. If you close up now and it freezes in, you may never again have opportunity to empty it out. So let’s deal with this problem now, right down to bedrock. Keep talking.”
He talked for an hour recounting one fear experience after another, many of them going back to his boyhood. It amounted to a complete mental housecleaning. Finally almost spent, he sighed with relief. “I sure do feel better. Thanks for letting me ramble on like this. I know it will do me a lot of good.” I reminded him that while such mind-emptying does make one feel better, to leave the matter there would mean that the basic cause of his fear psychosis had been only temporarily eased up. The mind would in time fill up again with anxiety and worry.
I suggested that he come to New York for some intensive counseling at our American Foundation of Religion and Psychiatry. I explained that while an initial process in the cure of fear might well be such mind-emptying and relief as he had experienced, the next step was to gain insight into the basic cause of fear. Finally, constructive steps would be taken to teach him how to recast his thinking to eliminate such attitudes as were causing these irrational anxiety reactions.
He came for counseling with our psychiatric-pastoral team and proved so cooperative that his anxiety began to lose its dominant hold on him. The roots of fear, running back to childhood, were clipped. I do not have space here to deal with the psychiatric counseling process conducted by our professionally trained staff, except to say that it was extremely thorough and scientific, and fortunately proved effective.
The clinic staff reported that while a longer counseling program was recommended, the prognosis was such that he seemed ready for another step, the spiritual healing procedure. So I informed our patient that on Sunday mornings at Marble Collegiate Church it is our custom to have a period we call “creative spiritual silence,” and I suggested that he come to church and participate. Actually this is a form of group therapy, though hundreds of people are involved.
The Power of Creative Spiritual Silence
On Sunday morning I explained as usual to the congregation the healing power of creative silence, stating that any person who consciously let go his problem, dropping it into the “pool” of spiritual silence created when hundreds focus in prayer and spirit, would be relieved and through their faith be healed.
An amazing thing happened. Some might perhaps call it a miracle, but not I. For over many years I have seen so many astonishing personal changes take place as a result of creative spiritual silence, that to me it is not at all a miracle, but rather the scientific operation of spiritual law at work in personality. I had previously outlined to this man the amazing principle of “Let go and let God,” urging him consciously and volitionally to “let go of his fear and let God take it.” This seemed “a queer sort of thing he had never heard of before,” but I reminded him that undoubtedly there were many vital things in spiritual practice that he had never heard of before. And to the extent that he took hold of fresh techniques hitherto unknown to him he could achieve the new personal qualities he so desired.
In the silent period with spiritual mood and atmosphere deepening, the man experienced, so he declared, “an overwhelming sense of the presence of God.” His fear “seemed small in that tremendous Presence.” Then, for the first time, the unbelievable thought flashed up that he could throw off fear, not in the future but now, immediately, and for good and all. Accordingly, in the silent period he said, speaking directly to the Lord, “I now let my fear go; I now give it to You. Please take it now and take me too. I’m Yours forever. Thank you, Lord, for healing me now,” and he underscored the now.
A powerful new motivation following his sense of release so excited him that he came literally charging into my private office. “He heard me! He really heard me! The fear was lifted from me. I gave it to Him. It’s all gone. I’ve never been happier in my life.”
He stopped, flushed with embarrassment. “Don’t be embarrassed,” I said. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it? That is how God sometimes works. Usually, release from a long-held fear comes more gradually, but sometimes it does eventuate dramatically as in your case, and both experiences of renewal are equally valid.” At any rate, this man was delivered from the old fear he had suffered so long. He became full of enthusiasm about his business, his church, his Rotary Club, his community. He developed an intense interest in all aspects of life. Such is the quality and vitality of his spiritual and intellectual enthusiasm that every residue of his old fear seems to have been eliminated. It has not returned with passing of time. This case proved what can happen when one deeply wants something to happen and when enthusiasm is given a chance to make it happen.
Fear is Removable
A primary fact to know about fear is that it is removable. Do you, for example, have the tendency to become angry? Anger is removable. You can get over it. Do you tend to become depressed? Depression is removable. Anything disruptive to human happiness and well-being, anything that fastens itself adversely onto the human spirit, is removable. Not without difficulty, but still removable. And fear, one of the worst of all enemies of human personality, is removable. Fix that fact firmly in mind. Hold it tenaciously. No matter how many worries and anxieties harass you, remember always that they are removable. Enthusiasm with its immense mental and spiritual power can cancel out all fear.
Do not give in to the notion that you must live with fear all your life. You need not. It is removable. Do not assume that because your father or your mother, or your grandparents had fears and anxieties that you must have them also. You need only have what you are willing to have. If you are willing to live with fear, you probably will. And once a person knows fear is removable and decides, with God’s help, to remove it, then comes the process of removal. This involves the steps outlined above and also another factor which perhaps is not popular with this generation of Americans, namely, self-discipline. Don’t overlook this fact, that you can do positively anything with yourself that you deeply desire if you have what it takes to discipline yourself accordingly. And deep within you the power of self-discipline exists, waiting, only to be used.
In former days this powerful capacity, widely known as willpower, was highly regarded in the United States. Depreciation of willpower threatens now to produce a generation of Americans in which incidence of neurotic states will likely reach a new high. Apparently Americans were formerly more normal psychologically. One primary reason may be that they were taught to practice self-discipline. They believed that any enemy of personality is removable, and so with God’s help they simply proceeded in disciplinary fashion to remove it. This is not to say that they had no worries. Of course they did.
Therefore, a good method of canceling out worry is the deliberate assiduous use of enthusiasm plus self-discipline. As I pointed out earlier, in order to have enthusiasm, simply act enthusiastic. Similarly, substitute enthusiasm for worry, eliminating the destructive emotion in favor of a constructive one. A direct frontal attack on a personality weakness such as worry may be effective, especially if faith is emphasized. But in most cases an oblique attack in the form of a substitute procedure or a psychological bypassing, is likely to get surer results.
Let us illustrate this anti-worry method with the history of a man who consulted me regarding an anxiety problem. His anxiety, judging from his dramatized description of himself, while seemingly extreme to him, appeared to me as something less than deep. For one thing he had developed a kind of rabbit’s foot approach designed to assure opposite outcomes. He was like the avid baseball fan who always bet against his favorite team, believing that in so doing he would cause them to win. I got the impression that this man’s anxiety had within it a considerable dash of self-manufactured hysteria. But even so his suffering was real and he was entitled to relief.
He was extraordinarily negative in comment and seemed to expect the worst to happen. Yet even this negativism seemed to have a false ring, for there was evidence that he did not really expect things to turn out badly. Here again was that curious quirk of thinking, that if one talks negatively, the opposite is more likely to occur. So in this man’s mind was a strange, conflicting mixture of anxiety tinged ideas, which he feared yet didn’t believe in. But he did believe in them enough to be dominated by them. The result not only caused unhappiness, but also an enormous leakage of mental energy that might have been employed for constructive purposes.
I decided to prescribe the oblique method for attacking worry. Rather than encouraging him to stand up to his anxiety, hitting it straight on as he bravely talked about doing, I said, “No, no, let’s not do that. Let us outsmart your worry by coming at it from its blind side. If your fear is really strong the straight-arm approach may send you reeling back in defeat, and that could discourage you. So rather let us be like the prizefighter who dances away from his opponent, keeping out of range, but hitting unexpectedly when the other’s guard is down.”
I outlined a daily regimen, assuring him that if used as directed he could change from a consummate worrier into a practicing enthusiast. “And then,” I promised him, “you will become happier than you ever thought of being. Your job will become child’s play. You will do it so easily.”
Five-Point Program for Attacking Worry
Specifically the method outlined was thus: First he was to carefully practice listening to himself. He was to note and study with meticulous attention every comment he made, so that he might become fully conscious of the amazing number of doleful and negative remarks he was constantly uttering.
“Never talk without listening, appraising, dissecting your remarks,” I suggested. “You are not going to enjoy this for it will be a ruthless self-revelation and not a pleasant one, but it will be a primary step. Listen with your ears and your whole mind to the depressing stuff you are articulating all day.”
Second, he was to start being absolutely honest so that when he heard himself making a negative statement he was to ask himself: “Now look, do I honestly believe what I am saying or am I actually mouthing negativisms that I do not really believe at all? If I want the Mets to win, why don’t I start believing they are going to win and say so? And skip the infantile practice of betting against them on the stupid assumption that it can help them to win by an absurd reverse procedure.”
Third, he was to adopt the practice of saying exactly the opposite of what he usually said, and he was to note how much better the new utterances sounded. He might regard himself as a hypocrite in so doing, but hypocrisy would be nothing new. Actually had he not been saying what he did not mean for a long time?
As he continued in this new procedure, it would grow ever more exciting to hear words and ideas full of life and hope and expectancy coming from his mouth instead of the old defeatist remarks. He would soon discover that something really exciting was happening to him, namely an upsurge of dynamic enthusiasm. As he worked on this advice he would realize the value of the honest, analytical listening, new-style talking element in his process of personal change.
Fourth, he was to keep track of everything that happened as he worked in his new procedure, carefully noting and computing even the smallest results. If he had been, for example, in the habit of saying glumly: “Things aren’t going to go well today,” now (since he was no longer mouthing negativisms) he was to note that things were much better, as they usually are. He was to admit honestly that he had in fact expected them to go well, but now he was no longer lying to himself concerning his expectations. He wasn’t afraid any longer to expect the best.
Fifth, he was to practice putting the best construction on every person and every action each day. This is one of the most exciting of all personal development practices. I first came upon it through the late Harry Bullis, a leading figure in the flour-milling industry in Minneapolis. Harry was a genuinely enthusiastic man, so much so, that being impressed I asked for an explanation of his happy nature. “I decided long ago,” he said, “to put the best possible connotation on the words and actions of every person and every situation. Naturally I was not blind to the realities, but I always tried first to emphasize the best connotation, for I believe that such practice actually helps stimulate a good outcome. This best connotation resulted in enthusiasm for people, for business, for church and other interests, and greatly added to the joy of life, and it certainly helped oust worry from my mind. In fact, I have not worried since I began practicing this enthusiasm-producing technique.”
I Almost Walk Out of a Church
I have myself often had occasion to put this principle of Harry Bullis’s into operation. Only recently I attended a Church of England Sunday morning service in Europe. The clergyman conducting the service was a regular man who gave a solid rugged message, and I liked him immensely. It is a custom upon occasion for a layman to read the lesson. The congregation was composed mostly of English people, and I had been observing the many vigorous young men present. Then to my astonishment a young man who resembled a beatnik rose to read the lesson. Not only did his hair hang in long ringlets, but a thick beard circled his face.
I could hardly take it, to listen to this character read publicly out of the greatest Book in the world! For once in my life, I actually thought of walking out of church and could easily have done so, being in the last row of seats near the door. But Harry Bullis’s principle came to my mind, and I decided that the Scripture read by anyone, even by one who seemed an offbeat character might just possibly do me good. And I had to admit that overcoming an antipathy would be spiritually therapeutic. It was then I noticed that this fellow had a pleasing masculine voice and grudgingly I had to admit that he read the immortal words impressively, with feeling and reverence. Seeking further to put the best connotation on the matter I decided that maybe that rector had a better strategy going than I did; that if we could get young rebels involved in the Church, perhaps they might be made into real men after all. Anyway, this exercise of the best connotation principle left me in a better state of mind, and helped to escalate my feelings of enthusiasm for people in general.
Let us return to the man for whom I outlined a five-point procedure for attacking his worry problem. He did succeed because he was sold on the plan and conscientiously put the suggested principles into operation. However, this did not come easily, representing as it did an almost complete reversal of old mental habits. He related later that his struggle to achieve a normal worry-free state of mind was “really painful. But the more I tried, the more clearly I saw the possibility, at long last, of getting worry off my neck. And each time I achieved one small victory over myself, I got such a kick out of it that I went eagerly after another victory—until finally, I did begin to change.”
Some months later, I happened to go to his city to make a speech and he met me at the airport. It was a dark overcast day, but the clouds seemed to dissipate in the presence of this revitalized man. He insisted on taking time off to show me the sights of the town. Then he drove me out to his house to meet his wife, whom he evidently adored. She seemed to adore him, too, for they greeted each other with an enthusiastic embrace. By this time, he had inspired me with such enthusiasm that instead of shaking hands, I kissed her, too.
Before we left for my hotel—where I had not yet had the opportunity to check in—his wife asked gently, “Might the three of us have a prayer to thank God for the wonderful change in my husband? He is a new man and life is so different.” So we joined hands in prayer, giving thanks to God for this man whose fears and anxieties had been canceled. It was a most moving experience. Later, as we drove downtown, he said, “The thing that really gets me is the miracle of change.”
Don’t Be Afraid of Other People
If you keep enthusiasm up, especially enthusiasm for human beings, another weakness that will cease to bother you is the fear of people, and this is a big worry to many, though maybe few will admit it.
When I was a young reporter on the old Detroit Journal, my editor, Grove Patterson, took a kindly interest in me, a young man fresh out of college and working on a metropolitan newspaper.
He was a man of keen, perceptive insights. One day he called me to his office. He could always make one feel at ease, even though he was top man on the paper and his visitor in this case was the lowliest.
“Norman,” he said, “I sort of get the feeling that you have a lot of fear and anxiety in your system. You must get rid of it. Just what in the world is there to be afraid of anyway? Why should you or I or anybody go skulking through life like a scared rabbit? The good Lord told us that He will be with us and help us. So why not just take that at face value, hold up your head, look the world in the face and hit it real hard? And for heaven’s sake, don’t be afraid of anything or anybody!”
I remember the scene in the old Detroit Journal office on Jefferson Avenue as though it were yesterday.
“But,” I said, “that’s a pretty big order. How can anyone possibly go through life afraid of nothing or of nobody?”
He sat, feet on his desk, and leveled a long, inky finger at me. There always seemed to be ink on Grove’s finger, and when he pointed that finger and looked at you with those piercing eyes, you listened.
“Listen,” he said, “I’ll tell you how. ‘Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid…for the Lord thy God is with you whithersoever [you go].’ Just hang onto that promise,” he added, “and don’t forget that it’s made by Someone who never lets anybody down.”
That was sound advice and I needed it, for since early boyhood I had been afraid of people. In fact, I was absolutely awestruck by some.
My father was a minister, and in his denomination ministers frequently changed churches. In fact, every fall, along in September, the church voted whether or not to invite the minister to remain for another year. It was customary for a pastor to be appointed by a bishop for only a one-year term. This one-year system put the minister’s security at the whim of the congregation whose support might easily turn to hostility, especially if it was engineered by someone who wanted to manipulate things. And occasionally, in fact more than occasionally, that was the case.
As a result of this climate of insecurity, I was awestruck by some of the leading members of the church, watching them apprehensively for any sign of approval or disapproval of my father’s leadership. I remember sitting in the pew on Sunday mornings studying certain faces to see whether they liked his sermon. My father, an urbane sort of man, did not worry about these local big shots, but I did. And for years this anxious concern about the attitude of other people had a strong effect on me. But, I got over it in due course. As a boy, however, I was afraid of Mr. So-and-so or Mrs. So-and-so. Therefore I built up quite a fear of people.
My father had a habit, too, that certainly did not help me in overcoming my fear of people. When we moved to a new community, he would, in introducing me to prominent church members, say, “He’s a big banker,” or “He’s a big lawyer,” or “He’s a big grocer in this town.” That gave me the pathetic idea that I must tremble in the presence of these “big” characters. So my hypersensitive fear of people was always being accentuated.
In school, also, I was awed by overbright, cocky, loud-mouthed students who seemingly could talk glibly on any subject at any time. As for myself, I was shy and reticent and rather inarticulate for the most part. I knew the subject matter but expressed it poorly. If any other student laughed or smiled as I spoke, I froze immediately. So I gave way in my own thoughts before these smug few fellow-students who cockily acted as if they had all the answers. I believed they were all far ahead of me in ability, and so I was afraid of them. From the vantage point of later years I wonder where these students are now. Actually I have even forgotten their names. For the most part none of them have ever been heard of since. Apparently they shot their little bolts in school.
But this fear was indeed difficult for me to overcome; that awestruck fear of the prominent or well-known or those with money or position. I felt inferior and inadequate in the presence of anyone who threw his weight around. So when Grove Patterson confronted me with the undeniable fact that I must rid myself of inordinate fear of people, he was hitting on a very sore nerve. Our conversation in the newspaper office really made me resolve to reorganize myself so that no longer would I tremble before any human being.
Even while I have been writing this book, however, I had a personal experience which shows that I need to practice more faithfully the fear-of-nobody principle. My wife Ruth and I drove one day from our farm in Pawling, New York, up to Syracuse, New York, where I was to speak to the Mutual Agents Association Convention. It is a trip of about two hundred and fifty miles up the Taconic Parkway and the New York Thruway.
On the Thruway we stopped at a gasoline station and were waited on by a very authoritative young man. Even in his comments about the weather he somewhat flattened me by asserting that I was entirely wrong in my weather prognosticaton. I didn’t think it was worth arguing about and I didn’t continue the discussion. While he was filling the gasoline tank, he put up our car hood to check the oil, water and battery. “Oh brother,” he exclaimed, “something has to be done about that fanbelt and two other belts in there.”
Now one thing I know absolutely nothing about is what is under a car hood. “What is the matter with them?” I asked, alarmed.
“Why,” he said, “look at that frayed place on that belt. I have seen cars come in here off the Thruway with these belts wrapped around them so tight that it took us a couple of hours to get them off. Those belts of yours have got to come off immediately.”
I looked at the belts. For the life of me I couldn’t see anything wrong with them, but he was so authoritative that I began to feel awestruck and tongue-tied. Assuming that he seemed to know what he was talking about, I gave in. He pulled the car over to the side and started taking all belts out. I noticed another car alongside and the belts were being removed from that one also. I was hesitant and doubtful; abjectly I asked the man inside the station, “Does this young man know what he is doing?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, “he knows exactly what he is doing.”
“Well,” I said, “the belts look all right to me.”
“If he says the belts aren’t right, then the belts aren’t right,” he replied. At which I completely folded.
Then my wife came over and inquired what was going on, and I told her. She asked, womanlike, “What’s wrong with the belts?” Now, my wife is a very clear-minded thinker and she does not let people overawe her.
I said feebly, “This young man knows all about belts and these belts, he says, have to come off. He says cars come in here off the Thruway with belts wrapped all around the engine. We have to have new belts put on.”
She saw that he had two of the belts off already. She examined them, and she said, “There is nothing wrong with these belts. This is a racket. Please put the belts right back on.”
Well, I was embarrassed by this plain talk and walked away to buy a newspaper. By this time my wife had three of the four gas-station men around her and she proceeded to inform them in a very polite but firm tone that it was a racket. Well, the old belts in our car have been running just beautifully ever since; in fact, ten thousand miles since. This assertive, cocky and, shall we say, “shady” young man actually did almost succeed in selling me the unneeded belts because of the belligerent, superior manner in which he exercised his authority. Awed by him and his know-it-all attitude, my old fear of people reappeared. But my wife was not impressed in the slightest by his manner; only by facts. That is why when one keeps his thinking rational and is impressed only by facts, his fear of people vanishes.
So never be afraid of anyone; of your husband, or your wife, or (heaven help you) your children; or the boss, or the loud so-called big shot. And, of course, the best procedure for doing this is to love people and always see the best in them. Enthusiasm for them will grow in you and as it does, it will cancel out your shyness, your fear of others and your worry about what they think of you. And then, as you forget about yourself, your heartening relationship with people will add to your enthusiasm for life itself.
Careful study of worry-fear sickness will reveal in many cases an abnormal preoccupation with self. Worry presupposes an acutely sensitive self-reference in which apprehension exists concerning one’s self and those close to him. The more ingrown one is, the sharper the worry is likely to be. Therefore any cancellation of the worry habit must of necessity involve getting outside of one’s self.
It is this fact that makes enthusiasm so terribly important, for it is one of the most effective mechanisms for developing an outgoing personality. The ingrown individual has little concern for the world around him. Nervously he scans the daily paper and is invariably sure that everything is going wrong. But his interest in matters of social significance is only passing, tenuous and vague. His principal concern is how things may affect him personally. So he gives only fragmentary attention to outside conditions and continues to stew and fret in a self-conditioned worry mess which agitates his mind. And given enough of such worry the result can be actual strangulation of personality.
Worry, and You Choke and Strangle
The word worry derives from an old Anglo-Saxon verb wyrgan meaning to choke or strangle. If someone were to grasp you around the neck with two hands, pressing as hard as possible, and thereby cutting off your air supply, he would be doing to you dramatically what you gradually do to yourself as a confirmed worrier. Through worry you are actually strangling your creative powers. In an early Anglo-Saxon illustration, worry is graphically depicted as a huge angry wolf with teeth in a man’s neck.
Relief from worry is what this book is endeavoring to provide. Even more than relief, it offers a positive cure in the form of vital enthusiasm which can actually cancel worry.
The power of enthusiasm to perform so is illustrated in the case of a widow whose worry habits tended to remain minor during her husband’s lifetime. After he died, however, anxiety took over. Soon she was in the grip of a severe fear reaction. Her husband had left her moderately provided for, enough to care for her comfortably if she was prudent. She was frightened of making decisions since hitherto they had been almost altogether made by her husband. She had been dependent on him for everything involving judgment. She told me she was sick with worry. I believed her, for worry can indeed make one sick.
I counseled with her in an attempt to shift her mind from the dependence she had always had on a strong husband to dependence upon a strong God. But while she was a believer of sorts, she did not seem able to muster a faith realistic enough to overcome her fears. Therefore she sank deeper into a pervasive worry state.
One noonday, passing through the lobby of the Commodore Hotel in New York City, enroute to the weekly meeting of the Rotary Club, I noticed her sitting near the entrance of the Rotary dining room. She was staring moodily ahead. In answer to my inquiry she said she came every Rotary day because, “Bill never missed a meeting and I just sit here in the lobby outside the Rotary meeting room and think about him. But, oh, Dr. Peale, whatever will I do? I am so worried. Nothing matters any more. Life is all over.” And again the dull complaint, “I’m sick with anxiety.”
“Look, Mary,” I said, “we’re going to do something about you, so just sit here until this meeting is over. Then you and I are going to have a talk. I am not going to stand by and let a strong, intelligent woman like you continue being panicky with worry. Also, I am going to tell you exactly what Bill would say to you. I know you pretty well and I knew Bill even better. So just wait for me.”
All through the Rotary meeting I turned the problem over in my mind. This woman had energy and not a little capacity for enthusiasm. I decided to try a treatment of enthusiasm to heal her fear, feeling that it might stimulate her capacity to have faith, which had become stultified since her husband’s death.
At Rotary I happened to notice a man, head of one of the great sociological service agencies dealing with the poor and infirm. I asked him, “Jerry, do you need more staff in your work?”
“We surely do; we are very shorthanded. But we’ve already used up our budget and I cannot take anyone else on.”
“Well, could you use a capable, intelligent, though untrained woman of about fifty, who will work for free?”
“Yeah, I know the kind: a couple of hours per week between bridge games to give herself a sanctimonious feeling. No thanks.”
But I assured him that this woman would give a full halfday, five days a week from nine to one o’clock. Rather grudgingly he said, “Well, O.K., send her along. But if she won’t work regular hours I won’t keep her. I want people who are on the job, not the bleeding hearts who get their kicks out of thinking they are doing good.”
Returning to the lobby where Mary waited, I said, “Now, please come to my office at Marble Collegiate Church. I will see you there in an hour. But I want you to walk to the Church. No taxi or bus. And see if you can figure a pace of about four miles an hour, which means you will have to walk vigorously. This is the rate Dr. Paul White advocates for those who walk to avoid heart attacks.”
“But I’m not used to walking,” she exclaimed in surprise. “And whatever difference does it make how I get to your office?” I assured her that there was a very good reason in my request and extracted a promise that she would walk.
An hour later she arrived and for the first time there was good color in her cheeks. “Why, I actually feel good, better than in months,” she said. “This crisply cool day and the blue sky overhead and the colorful shop windows are really wonderful.”
“You didn’t stop to look in those shop windows, did you? I wanted you to keep that vigorous four-miles-an-hour pace,” I said. She resolutely claimed she had done so.
Walk Your Worries Away and Build Enthusiasm
“Why did you insist on my walking?” she asked. I told her of an old friend of mine, the late Dr. Henry C. Link, a practicing psychologist. When a worry-ridden patient came to him, before beginning the interview Dr. Link often asked that person to walk vigorously around the block three times. Three times around the block was about half a mile. Dr. Link explained that the brain has an upper and lower section and that we worry with the upper brain while the lower controls motor reaction. “So,” he said with a grin, “if I can get the patient to practice walking, he uses the lower brain which works the legs and thus relieves the upper from the strain of worry thoughts.” He felt that it was easier in this way to “float the worries off.”
My friend Ernest Zingg of Berne, Switzerland, with whom I have often walked in the high Swiss Alps, gave me a paper entitled Walking—as a Cure by Dr. Felix Oesch, medical commissioner of the city of Berne. It says in part: “Walking not only activates circulation of the blood, it also speeds up and intensifies respiration and enables greater absorption of oxygen…The body of the walker is absolutely free, the feet only are put periodically on the earth and rolled off. In no other position…will blood circulation be nearly as free…Walking, in addition, brings a whole orchestra of large and small muscles into action and to an accord…Their ‘eurythmic’…sends the blood towards the heart as the valves of the heart only allow this direction…Walking has a healing influence and balances large and small psychical troubles and conflicts…With the distance from home one also gains distance more easily from the miseries of the world. Perspectives, the ‘blue horizons’ enable personal grievances to be put in a better proportion to the sorrow rucksack of the world…a walk taken in harmony with nature very often replaces the psychiatrist.”
“So, Mary,” I said, “one recommendation for you is more physical activity and I suggest walking. But when you walk do not stroll; really walk. And make it a daily practice, rain or shine.”
I suggested a further technique which many have found extremely helpful, one that I often use personally. It is to punctuate vigorous walking with the saying of certain Bible texts. Breathing deeply, say, for example, “Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless his holy name.”
Or, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.” The effect of articulating these passages in rhythm with walking is to activate blood circulation, toning up of the system and the mind. This practice, I assured her, would activate enthusiasm, shake down her worries and increase her capacity to exercise faith.
And I stressed that it would be through rejuvenated faith that the real cure of her worry would occur. “The whole effort is to open, enlarge and build up your shattered faith capacity. Then you will enter upon a normal, creative and even happy life.”
I then told her of the “job” I had secured for her at the agency, and further informed her that I had promised she would go to work on the agreed schedule next day. This was rather a shock. She was a slow starter mornings, and to report to an office by nine o’clock would be a startling new departure. I gave her no comfort in this objection, merely remarking that a “startling new departure” was an integral part of the cure of a worry problem. Whether it was the stimulation of the vigorous walk or the prospect that a new life might open, or both, she did agree to undertake the agency work on the specified condition. She reported the next day on the stroke of nine.
The man in charge phoned me a couple of weeks later to say, “This lady is a rare find. She is mastering our system of work and entering into it enthusiastically. She has a warm, human sympathy for the unfortunate people we deal with. Her eagerness to help them as persons is of a kind we rarely see in professional social work.”
I think I need not belabor this case further except to say that a strong and vital enthusiasm took over in this woman’s mind. As this occurred prayer became meaningful and presently she said, “I’m on the way to getting that dependence upon God you spoke of.”
Formula for Handling a Worry Problem
To sum up the suggested therapy for a worry problem:
1. Practice vigorous walking.
2. Engage in disciplined regular human service.
3. Develop an awakened concern, even love, for the unfortunate.
4. Find new meaning in prayer and the actual reality of God’s presence.
These factors produced a curative enthusiasm that canceled out the festering worry which threatened this woman’s future, and it has been effective in other cases as well.
Enthusiasm Makes Hard Days Good Days
I was a guest in the home of my friend, Dr. Georg Heberlein, head of the great Heberlein textile company at Watwill, Switzerland. At dinner Georg asked the title of my new book. When I told him it was Enthusiasm Makes the Difference, he expressed approval of the theme as being extremely important to anyone who really wants to do something with himself. As a successful industrialist he knows that enthusiasm plays a vital role in success or failure. His son-in-law Mark Cappis, a dynamic young man whose enthusiastic participation in business and civic affairs marks him as a coming leader, at once affirmed that worry can have no control over an enthusiasm-conditioned person.
Mark told how he and his young wife Bridgett came to New York to make their way in a foreign country, to learn English, make friends and thus prepare themselves for their important international business. Day after day, during a down period in the economy, Mark tramped the streets of New York looking for a job which he insisted on getting on his own, without pull or influence. There are, thank God, still young men like him in the world. The couple lived in a tiny two-room apartment and used a packing box, covered with travel posters, as their dining table.
“Didn’t you get discouraged during those hard days?” I asked.
“They were not hard days,” Mark and Bridgett exclaimed together. “We had fun. It was exciting to be together with the future entrancingly before us. How could we worry?” Mark added. “You see, we were excited about life and about the United States. We loved the people there. We were overflowing with enthusiasm about everything, and so naturally worry just didn’t have a chance with us.”
And that is just about the truth of the matter. Keep enthusiastic and worry will never have a chance to get its grip on you.
I was driving one night with John Robison, from Columbus to Findlay, Ohio, where I was scheduled to make a speech. I noticed soft, yet efficient lights on poles near many of the farmhouses we passed. John, who is connected with the Columbus and Southern Ohio Electric Company, explained these were mercury-vapor lamps. They light up automatically at twilight, being triggered by the dark, and go off automatically at sunrise. The protecting light relieves the farmer from worry about possible night intruders.
It seemed a kind of parable. It is a fact that anyone who keeps the light of enthusiasm burning in his mind at all times dissipates that darkness of the mind in which worry grows. Remember, worry and enthusiasm simply cannot occupy the same mind at the same time. They are utterly incompatible.
It was summed up by the Honorable Dan Liu, Chief of Police of Honolulu, recently voted the most popular man in the Hawaiian Islands. The Chief said simply, “Due to Christ I never buckled under any anxiety and have always been sustained in the dangers of my profession.” Spiritual enthusiasm does indeed cancel worry.
I have always liked that familiar and reassuring statement by Victor Hugo, “When you have accomplished all that you can, lie down and go to sleep. God is awake.”
And a physician has a good idea. He tells his patients to say their prayers and then to say further, “Good night worries. See you in the morning.”
And I may add, as you develop some real enthusiasm, worries won’t be there to trouble you in the morning. Or if they are, you will be able to handle them. And never forget those tremendous words of Isaiah (35:4): “Say to them that are of a fearful heart, be strong, fear not.”