Hels walked in purposefully. She eyed Jim immediately and was about to say something when Kelly ninja jumped out of nowhere.
“Helena! Guess what?”
Hels stepped back in surprise. She couldn’t miss the ring Kelly was shoving in her face. Her eyes widened. “Oh,” was all she could say. She looked up at Jim, her eyes hardening. “I’m so happy for you both.” She sounded anything but happy.
“I know, isn’t he just the sweetest?”
Jim busied himself tidying. He couldn’t face Hels’ demonic stare. “How? When did this happen?” she asked.
“He proposed in this ridiculous message last night he sent me. He said I was a shepherd or something and that he wanted to marry me. I thought he was joking so, this morning I came over and he gave me this.”
Jim winced visibly as Kelly played back the story. He wanted to clarify that he couldn’t remember sending any such message, why would he call her a shepherd, and that he hadn’t given her the ring, she had torn it off him like a viper attacking a mongoose. But he kept his thoughts in his head and his head in the cupboard. It was better than facing Hels’ wrath.
“Can I see that message?” Hels asked in the tone that he knew was laced with arsenic. Why was she so angry with him anyway? She knew he liked Kelly, it wasn’t like couples didn’t get engaged all the time. A few moments later and Hels burst into hysterics, her laughter filling the house. “That’s so romantic,” she managed between gasps. Kelly joined in and laughed uproariously too.
Jim popped his head out, indignant that they were laughing at him. “It’s not my finest moment, but I can be romantic.” The two girls look at each other and broke into further hysterics. His face darkened and he left the room. This was beyond crazy. He could not even remember messaging Kelly or finding the ring. He hadn’t known it was on his little finger until Kelly had ripped it off. And Hels, bloody Hels, it was so good she was back to her usual pain in the arse self, but why did it always have to be at his expense.
Jim headed straight out into the back garden and slumped onto the steps. He rubbed his head trying to dull the ache. The door swung open behind him. “Well Casanova, it seems like you’re all set,” Hels teased.
He shook his head and groaned.
“What’s the matter, big night? Looks like you were busy.” She didn’t look angry anymore. In fact, she wore a smirk that was much, much more unnerving.
“I guess,” he admitted. “Why are you so happy? Enjoying my misery?”
“Misery? But Jim, this is such a happy day for you and Kelly.”
Her overenthusiasm made him clench his teeth. “I can’t even remember messaging her,” he confessed. “I can’t even remember trashing the house or finding the ring. I didn’t even know…” He took the force from his voice and whispered, “I didn’t even know I had the ring in my hand, she just took it.” Hels tried to look serious, for a moment she was quiet, but then she covered her face and shrieked with laughter. He could see her try to get control of herself, but every time she looked at him she started again.
Eventually Hels said, “Do you even remember talking to me on the phone last night?”
He looked up at her then, his sour expression shifting to one of curiosity, “What? When?”
“Or messaging me?”
“What did I say?” he demanded.
“You said, actually, no, it doesn’t matter now.” She lost her smile.
“What does that mean? What about the message?”
“It was a bit mean.”
He stood up forgetting aches and pains, both physical and emotional and moved straight to her. “Oh shit, Hels, I’m so sorry. I am sure I didn’t mean it.”
“No, you did, only… I wonder.” She paused, a big smile stretching across her face.
“Oh, Jim, you are such an idiot.”
“Sorry,” he grinned apologetically. He did not know why she smiled, but her smile was infectious, and he took it as a sign of her forgiveness, which he was grateful for.
“Tell me something Jim, do you find me stupid and annoying?” she scanned his eyes intently. She did this when she wanted the truth. She needn’t bother, for this was one honesty he would gladly share.
“Come on Hels, you know you are by far the most annoying person I’ve ever met. Why?”
She scrunched up one eye and asked, “Really? More annoying than Kelly?” She looked at the house momentarily then looked back to him.
“A hundred Kellys wouldn’t be as annoying as you, not even a thousand.”
Hels nodded and went to go back into the house. She stopped him before they re-entered the house. “Hey,” she whispered. It was nice standing so close to her, he tried not to get distracted and focused on her words. “I think you’re really annoying too. I’m going to keep staying at Mum and Dad’s for a bit. When you’ve sorted all this mess out, well, you know where to find me.”
He didn’t understand a lot of what she said, but felt her earnest gaze upon him. He nodded and gave her a wink to which she rolled her eyes. “And it’s a big mess,” she added as she walked through the laundry tiptoeing over bottles, old rags and various cleaning products.