22
The Forbidden City, 1885
I don’t think I aged the way most people do. It wasn’t until I was forty-four years old that I felt old for the first time. My life didn’t follow the trajectory of most women. Empress Cixi was married at sixteen and was a mother by twenty-one. She was a widow by twenty-seven and was raising a boy young enough to be her grandson by age forty. This was a timeline most women followed, married and with children by twenty and a grandmother by forty.
My life had taken a completely different course. I never married. I had a child at the late age of twenty-four, but I didn’t raise her myself. I didn’t see my life slipping away with each milestone my daughter crossed. Now, at forty-four, I was in no sight of a grandchild and would never be a widow. My life simply didn’t have the age markers that most do. At least it didn’t until I saw the effects of age in someone I loved.
I was sitting outside the empress’s palace when I saw a familiar face walking by. I sauntered down the stairs and kneeled as I greeted him.
“My prince,” I said.
“Yaqian!” he replied, happier than the moment required, and reached for my hand. “How are you? You are just the person I need to see.”
“I am happy to see you too, Your Highness,” I said. It had been a while since I had seen him. He was in the palace nearly every day, but our lives were completely separate.
“I think you can help me,” he said. “The dowager empress’s birthday is coming up and arrangements need to be made.”
“As far as I know there will be no birthday celebrations,” I said. “The country and the empress are busy with the war with France and she believes a birthday celebration would send the wrong message. You are the head of the council. Haven’t you heard this?”
“Yes, of course. But it is her fiftieth birthday. Quite important. Such a milestone. We need to make arrangements for her birthday.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“We need to make arrangements for her birthday,” he said. “I am sure you can help me.”
“That is not my area. Li Lianying would be in charge of celebrations. But, as I said, I don’t think she wants any celebrations…”
“That little boy?” he asked. “Where is An Dehai? He is the only one who can turn her ear.”
I could feel my face drop and my heart stop at this. Why would he be asking for An Dehai? He had been dead for years. The prince glanced around nervously, as if he was lost or looking for something. I studied his face and his manners. He fidgeted with his beard, which was now streaked with gray. His eyes were a little cloudy and he had lost weight.
“An Dehai is dead, my prince,” I said. “Don’t you remember?”
“Of course, of course,” he said waving his hand. “But the arrangements for her birthday must be made. Will you speak to her?”
“Of course, I will,” I said. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Should I send for your sedan chair to take you home?”
“No, there is simply too much to do. I must return to my office.”
I kneeled as he left. He seemed to walk away more slowly than usual.
That evening, the empress was clearly agitated as she was reviewing papers from the day.
“Your Majesty?” I said as I kneeled before her.
“Yes, Mistress Yang?” she asked.
“I wish to speak to you about Prince Gong.”
She took a deep breath before she moved her papers aside and motioned for me to sit near her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“He came by today, while you were at audiences.”
“He was at audiences for a long time until I finally dismissed him. He must have come here afterward. You know we are fighting a war with France?”
I nodded.
“He just went on and on about my birthday! Can you believe it? For an hour and a half he talked of the importance of ranking gifts and how they should be delivered and who should be allowed to send them. And this was after I had already told the council that there would be no birthday celebrations this year.”
“That was the crux of his visit here today as well. He wanted me to convince you to go ahead with the celebrations.”
“What did you say?” she asked.
“Just as you said, Your Majesty. The war is the only thing the court is focused on right now.” She rubbed her eyes as though they were weary. “Majesty, is there something wrong with him?” I asked. “He seemed…a bit confused when he was here. Almost like he was lost.”
“He is…not himself,” she said. “He has taken several long leaves. Some days, he simply doesn’t come to the palace. He has been no help during this crisis with France. He hasn’t offered any solutions. I don’t know what is wrong with him.”
“Perhaps he just needs to rest…” I tried to say.
“I need to rest!” she snapped. “Do you think running an empire is easy? I should have retired years ago and spent my whole days resting. We are all tired. Prince Gong is nothing special. If he is of no use to me, then he shouldn’t be around.”
“Have you asked for his resignation?” I asked.
“No, I can’t. He is my brother-in-law, he is older than I am, and he has been the head of the Grand Council for over twenty years. And don’t forget his reputation with the foreigners. I can’t simply send him away. As much as he aggravates me, he is too important. He would have to do something egregious to warrant that.”
The empress rubbed her chin and I could see her mind working. This was a woman who was exceedingly clever and always got what she wanted. If she wanted Prince Gong gone, I was sure she could manufacture a reason. But how far would she go? Would she be satisfied with his resignation, or would she require his total removal?
I took my leave and wrote a letter to Lady Yun, my old friend and one of Prince Gong’s wives.
The next day I received a letter of invitation to tea with Lady Yun at Prince Gong’s mansion. I was nervous about being in his home, but I knew I needed to speak to someone regarding the prince’s condition and what could be done to protect his future. Lady Yun was my only way to do that.
I hired a donkey cart outside the side gate of the Forbidden City to take me to Prince Gong’s mansion. The mansion was located in the northwest corner of Peking, down a quiet green road. The mansion was like a little Forbidden City, with four great walls concealing dozens of four-walled courtyards. There were residence buildings and gardens. The estate had been home to grandees and princes for hundreds of years, each occupant adding onto the majesty of the previous.
The front gate opened as soon as my cart pulled up. I didn’t have to knock or tell the guards who I was, they seemed to know innately. A maid was there to greet me and motioned for me to follow her. The palace was exquisite. We walked past several ponds and green areas to a courtyard in the north of the complex. I wondered if Lady Yun wanted to meet me here instead of closer to the front just so I could see how marvelous her home was. There were many people of all ages milling about. Children were playing by a koi pond. Elegantly dressed women were sitting and chatting. They hid their mouths behind fans when I walked by. Elderly women were scrubbing floors or shelling peas. An old man was tending to one of the gardens.
Finally, we arrived at a beautiful building. The two main doors were wide open to allow the breeze through and Lady Yun was reclining on a sofa with plush, silk cushions. She sat up as I approached, but she did not stand. I kneeled before her.
“Lady Yun,” I said, my eyes downcast. “You were so kind to send for me. I am not worthy to be in your magnificent home.”
“Please, Mistress Yang,” she said, motioning for me to sit near her. “The honor is mine. I don’t know why I didn’t invite you to visit me years ago. You were one of my favorite people at court.”
“You flatter me, my lady,” I said, sitting.
“Well, I was intrigued by your note,” she said. “You know, we don’t know much of anything going on at court. We just sit here in our own little world as life on the outside passes us by. Life at court was so much more interesting than life in here.”
“I am sure life in here has many more pleasures than life in service, though,” I said.
“In some ways,” she said. “I certainly don’t want for anything material, but the lack of mental stimulation can be frustrating.”
“I can understand that,” I said. “If I didn’t have my embroidery work, I am not sure what I would do to occupy my mind.”
Lady Yun nodded and a maid approached to pour us some tea. “So, tell me, Mistress Yang, why exactly have you come?”
“It is about Prince Gong,” I said. “The empress is concerned about his health.”
Lady Yun laughed. “I don’t believe that for a minute. Did you forget I also served alongside that harpy?”
My face blushed. I had never heard anyone insult the empress in such a bold manner. She must have seen my reaction.
“Oh, don’t worry,” she said. “We can speak freely here. I just meant that I know Empress Cixi doesn’t give one fig about the well-being of others. She is only concerned about the prince’s health if she thinks it might impact her in some way.”
I nodded and took a sip of my tea. “You are right about that,” I said. “She is worried that the prince’s health is hurting his ability to offer council.”
Lady Yun stirred her tea and took a long sip before replying. “He has been sick for a while. He can’t sleep but he is tired all the time. He is forgetful. He has even vomited blood.”
I put down my teacup and reached for her hand. “I am very sorry to hear this,” I said. “I had no idea.”
“Didn’t you?” she said, looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Don’t you see him even more than we do? His own wives? His own children?”
“Lady Yun, I don’t know what you think or what others have told you, but I rarely see the prince. I am in the inner court, where the prince, where any man, rarely is allowed. I had not seen him in months before yesterday and realized something was wrong.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know what it’s like, Yaqian,” she said. “The loneliness is devastating. People talk of marriage, of love, as if it is some all-encompassing union between two people that will bring all manner of happiness, but it is torture. Do you know what it is like to devote yourself to one person you can never have all to yourself?”
I didn’t respond because I knew I could never relate to the pain she felt.
“And don’t fool yourself into thinking that children can fill the void. My sons are all gone, either at school or in military training. They will soon establish their own households. My daughters are all gone. Married young and at the homes of their husbands. I cannot embrace my husband or my children. All is lost to me.”
“You are in a unique position to help him,” I said. “The empress is not happy. If he doesn’t step down or give her a reason to dismiss him, she could do far more than ask for his resignation.”
Her eyes widened in fear. As sad and lonely as she was, if anything bad happened to the prince, she could end up without even a roof over her head.
“But they have been allies for thirty years!” she said. “It is only by his support she is even sitting on that throne.”
“Yes, but her prerogative now is to stay on that throne. You know she shouldn’t even be on it now.”
“So I heard. Apparently your daughter has moved up in the world.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said, though she knew I did.
“Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me, for as much of a secret as it is.”
“What do you mean? I thought you were cut off from the court.”
“This goes far beyond the court, Yaqian. Everyone knows you and prince are her parents.”
I thought about how the empress accused Lady Tang of being Hulan’s mother. Did she really think it was Lady Tang or was she just pretending?
“Lady Yun, please, I must apologize…”
“For what? That is just how life is. The prince has half a dozen wives and concubines, what is one more lover? The only difference is that you are the only one inside the palace. The only one with the ear of the empress. You wield a great amount of power in that little embroidery needle of yours.”
I really didn’t know what she was talking about, but I didn’t want her to know that. And I needed to get her to listen to me about Prince Gong before I had to leave.
“Lady Yun,” I said, setting down my teacup, “I am trying to help. The prince must take care. He must give the empress an excuse to dismiss him, but not something serious enough that she could take it further and seek to ruin him or worse. He must cause a small offense.”
“I don’t know. It seems risky.”
“It is, but it is better than the alternative. If Empress Cixi is forced to come up with her own solution, it could have much more dire consequences. Besides, if he is dismissed, he can come home. He can be here with his family. He can get medical treatments.”
“And what do you want, Mistress Yang,” she asked me.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you here? What are you hoping to get out of this?”
“Nothing,” I said. “I don’t need or want anything. I am only trying to help.”
“Because you love him?” she asked.
“Because I love her,” I said. “Prince Gong has been her friend and ally for decades. Sometimes, she can be impetuous and mourn her actions later. I don’t want her to do something she will regret.”
Lady Yun nodded. “I thank you for coming by,” she said, motioning that it was time for me to leave. “I will consider what you have told me.”
The next day, Prince Gong was absent from court, and he was gone for several weeks. He apparently took leave from work, the council, and the court without permission. This was considered an affront to Her Majesty and negligence in his duties. It was not a deadly offense, or even a greatly disgracing one, but enough for the empress to have cause to dismiss the prince from court.
When the prince returned, Cixi threw a red-inked decree at his feet and banished him from court. He easily accepted, but he still asked that she allow him to wish her well on her birthday. She refused to see him.