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I CLOSED TIMOTHY’S office door behind me, my heart heavy with the weight of our conversation. The pain in his eyes had been unmistakable, the haunted look of a man who had lost something precious to him.
I didn’t have time to think about what he said. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like we were a couple or even close to a couple. We kissed once, but it didn’t even count. It was all a show. I knew I wanted marriage and a family. I understood why Timothy didn’t. He’d been burned pretty bad.
I found Paisley in the kitchen, her slender frame hunched over the countertop. She was chewing on her lip, a telltale sign that she was lost in thought.
“Paisley,” I called softly, not wanting to startle her.
She turned toward me and attempted a weak smile. “Hi Catherine.”
I moved closer, pulling up the stool next to her. “You alright?” I asked, even though I knew the answer already.
Paisley shrugged, her eyes glossy. “I don’t know,” she muttered.
I reached out and took her hand, opting for honesty instead of consolation. “Look, Paisley, what’s happening is really tough.”
“I guess.” She withdrew her hand and turned away from me, staring out of the kitchen window. “It just doesn’t seem fair.”
“No,” I agreed quietly. “It’s not fair at all.”
She was quiet. I could feel her withdrawing. The teen years sucked. Her particular situation was especially tough.
“So, I’m done for the day,” I told her. “Why don’t we go out for pizza? The bowling alley has some of the best pizza around. Let’s go and blow off some steam far away from here.”
I could see she wanted to say no. “Fine.”
At the bowling alley, Paisley sank into the seat across from me, her eyes still puffy from crying. I couldn’t stand to see her so upset. Amber joined us a few minutes later.
“Hi, Paisley,” Amber said and shook the girl’s hand.
“We just ordered pizza,” I said.
“And beer?” Amber teased.
“Very funny.”
Paisley was looking properly sullen until she heard a group of teenagers. “Hey, I know them,” she said and sat up. “I’m going to say hi. Is that cool?”
“Of course,” I said, nodding. “We’ll be here. Just don’t go too far or your father will murder us both.”
Paisley laughed and headed toward the lanes to meet her buddies.
Amber looked at me. “What happened? You said it was an emergency.”
I sighed, rubbing my temples. “Paisley is going through a tough time. She wants to stay here with Timothy, but her mother won’t allow it. She’s stuck in a situation she hates.”
Amber nodded, her expression sympathetic. “Poor girl. She’s lucky to have you looking out for her.”
I gave her a small smile, grateful for the support. “Thanks, Amber. I’m just doing what I can. I feel so bad for her.”
“And Timothy?” Amber asked, her gaze fixed on me.
I paused, thinking about the man who had just laid his pain so bare in front of me. The man who had silently confessed his love for a child that wasn’t his own and his fear of trusting anyone again on such a level. The man who felt helpless in a situation he couldn’t control.
“He’s struggling,” I replied finally.
“You seem really upset about it,” she said. “More upset than someone that just works for the guy.”
“I know,” I groaned. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“What happened?”
“When we were at the wedding, he played his part a little too well. He kissed me.”
“Wait, you kissed him? And now you’re feeling something for him?”
I nodded, admitting defeat. “I never expected this. I thought our relationship was strictly professional. But now I don’t know.”
“If you have feelings for him, you should tell him. Life is too short to keep things bottled up. Besides, he might feel the same way.”
I chewed on her words as we continued to talk. The idea of revealing my newfound feelings to Timothy was terrifying. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. “At least not while I’m working for him. I don’t want to complicate things.”
“Girl, life is complicated.”
“It’s not just me and Timothy,” I reminded her. “I don’t think Paisley would appreciate me mixing it up with her dad. She’s going to think I’m taking him for her.”
Amber nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. “Understandable. But what if Timothy finds someone else before you can clear up your feelings for him?”
I sighed heavily, frustrated at the mess I had gotten myself into. “I can’t control that. If it happens, it happens.”
“Paisley may not even be around,” she said gently. “I don’t want to sound callous, but if the situation is as bad as you say, the ex might never let her come back. Do you really want to give up on your chance with him?”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” I mumbled, my heart pounding at the mere thought.
Amber shrugged, seemingly untroubled by my predicament. “Then you move on. At least you’ll know you gave it a shot.”
Later, as I drove Paisley home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Amber said. Paisley seemed to be in better spirits after getting to hang out with her friends, but now that we were on our way back to the manor, her sour mood returned.
“Paisley, do you think your mom would let you stay if you asked her?” I ventured, glancing at her.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve tried several times, but she always says no. She doesn’t really pay attention to me when I’m around. It was always Timothy who was there for me. He was the one that was always putting band-aids on my knees and reading me books before bed. He would take me to dinner and let me order ice cream first. It was like he was the only one that saw me.”
I heard the ache in her voice. “I always thought he’d remarry and have a family and forget about me. But now he’s in that big house all alone, and I don’t want him to be alone.”
The vulnerability in Paisley’s words struck a chord within me. Her concern for Timothy’s well-being and her unspoken desire for a stable family life tugged at my heart. I remembered wanting the same for my dad. I hated that he was all alone. I used to dream about him marrying again and giving me a new mom.
“Paisley, sometimes people need a little push to realize what they truly want. Maybe Timothy needs that push too. He went through a hard time after the divorce. I’m not sure he’s ready to remarry. But I do know he loves you. When I first started working on the house, he pulled us off our projects to get your room ready. That was his priority. He wanted to make sure you were going to be comfortable.”
She looked at me, genuine fear in her eyes. “What if he doesn’t want me to stay?”
“He wants you to stay,” I said. “I know that. He’s said as much. This thing is really hard on him. I think you know how much he loves you.”
Her hands were tightly clenched into fists on her lap. “He has so much money,” she said. “I don’t understand why he can’t buy my mom off.”
“I don’t know if that’s really an option,” I said. “I don’t know your mother, but I think it’s complicated.”
She didn’t say anything else. We pulled through the gate and parked my beat-up old truck in the driveway. We went inside and Paisley immediately retreated to her room. I quietly climbed the stairs up to my room. The whole situation was unfortunate. I wished there was a way to fix it for them both, but I was just the carpenter. Their problems went way beyond me.
I climbed into bed and tried to go to sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about Timothy and everything he had said. First, I fell for a guy that was a cheating scumbag. Then, I fell for a guy that had zero intentions of ever settling down. I was batting a thousand.
After tossing and turning, I resigned myself to the fact that sleep was elusive. I quietly made my way downstairs to the kitchen, hoping a hot cup of tea would help lull me into sleep.
I rounded the corner and saw a light on in the kitchen. I frowned, wondering if it was Paisley after a midnight snack. When I walked in, it wasn’t Paisley. Timothy stood in front of the open fridge with a glass of scotch in his hand. I stopped, ready to turn around and leave before he saw me. I was a guest in his house. I didn’t want to intrude.
He turned around when he heard my footsteps, then closed the refrigerator and offered a smile. “Craving a snack?” he asked.
“Actually, I was going to make myself a cup of tea.”
He held up his glass. “I think this is a better cure for a sleepless night.”
I laughed. “I think I’ll pass. I have to work in the morning. Do you mind if I make some tea?”
“Suit yourself,” he said, shrugging.
He moved away from the fridge. I filled the teakettle and turned on the stove. He leaned against the cool granite of the kitchen island, watching me as I moved around.
“Paisley went straight to her room?” he asked.
I nodded. “She’s worried about you, you know,” I said softly.
“Me? Why would she worry about me?” He seemed genuinely surprised, his eyebrows knitting together in thought.
“She thinks you’re lonely,” I said.
Timothy’s expression softened. “I suppose that’s part of the reason why she wants to stay.”
“It might be,” I agreed, turning off the stove as the teakettle whistled a merry tune. “But I think it goes deeper than that. She also wants to be with you because she feels seen by you, loved by you. You matter to her a lot.”
Timothy went quiet, swirling the scotch before he took a drink.
I shouldn’t butt in, but I couldn’t resist asking. “Why have you never considered remarriage?” I asked. “Do you think everyone is like your ex-wife? Do you think I’m like her?”
He looked at me for several long seconds before he put his glass down.
“I know you are not like my ex-wife,” he said in a husky voice.
“Why did you kiss me like that at the wedding?” I whispered. “Why did you offer to go and play that part if you had no intention of pursuing anything further? Why the dress and jewelry and all of that? Was it all just a game to you?”
A flicker of heat ignited behind his eyes as he stepped closer. “That was way more than a kiss and you know it,” he said.
“I don’t know anything,” I replied.
“We’re on dangerous ground,” he warned. “I’ve been trying to stay out of your way the entire time you’ve been here. Your presence in the house sets me on edge. I’m trying to protect myself from the complicated emotions you bring up.”
His voice was low and husky and almost a growl. It sounded like he was angry with me, but his eyes said otherwise. He stepped closer, causing me to take a step back. Another step from him and I stepped back again.
I found myself pressed against the kitchen counter, his body inches from mine. His nostrils flared. I could smell the scotch on his breath. It was like an invisible force drawing us together. Suddenly, his lips crashed against mine.
The world around us fell away, replaced only by the primal desires that burned between us. The kiss was fiery. His hands were rough yet gentle as they moved along my arms, tugging me closer until there was hardly a shred of space between us. I gave in to the moment, forgetting about everything else.
I could taste the scotch on his lips. I felt intoxicated by it, by him. There was no denying it any longer, the feelings that we’d been trying to bury. Feelings that were far more than mere attraction, more than we’d ever admitted to ourselves.
His fingers slipped into my loose hair, tugging me closer still, as though he could pull me into him. My hands found their way to his broad shoulders, clinging onto him, the heat from his body radiating against mine.
We broke apart for air. His chest was heaving, matching the erratic rhythm of my heart.
“That’s why,” he said, his voice barely a whisper against my lips. “That’s why I did all those things, why I kissed you like I did.”
