“Doggone it!” Vanessa glared down at the pattern pieces that she had spread over the dining-room table. “I’m making a mess! I’m not supposed to be making Lana a blouse that has two right sleeves and no left.”
It’s his fault! It was after midnight, and instead of sleeping, she was sewing.
Although Ralph had called the next morning to give her the name and the number of the child-custody attorney, other than ask about the kids, he hadn’t prolonged the conversation. What he’d done was increase her stress level. In addition, he hadn’t stopped by for a visit or dinner in four days. Both occurrences were highly unusual.
No matter how many times she went over their last conversation, she didn’t recall him being angry or hurt when she turned down his proposal. She tried to push the worry away but failed repeatedly. She couldn’t stop wondering if her hasty refusal might have cost her a dear friend.
She’d come to depend on his quiet strength and support, so much so, she’d been unaware of the change. When there was a problem either with her or the children, Ralph was the first person she called. That alone was unsettling. But she also missed him.
Missing Ralph didn’t mean she was going to marry him, so she could spend his money without guilt. Talk about a wild suggestion. It was one she hadn’t seen coming. Judging by the way it came up in conversation, it couldn’t have been planned. Ralph wasn’t a marrying kind of man…what he did was love them and leave them. What a mess!
Marriage wasn’t the solution. What good could come from marrying for the wrong reasons? Ralph couldn’t argue with that. It might explain why he hadn’t come around. Was he trying to punish her for saying no? It couldn’t be! Could it?
When the telephone rang, Vanessa jumped so she dropped the shears, barely missing her toes. Pressing a hand against her racing heart, she picked up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“What are you doing?” the deep male voice crooned into her ear.
She couldn’t stop the smile or the pleasure he so easily generated. “Nothing important. Why do you ask?”
“Curious. What are you wearing?”
She laughed. “Pajama bottoms and camisole top. Why do you ask?”
He didn’t answer, instead he asked, “How do you feel about a late-night guest?”
“It depends on who that guest is,” she said in an eager rush. “How soon can you get here?”
His chuckle soothed her earlier worries. “Half a minute. I’m on your front porch.”
Vanessa dropped the receiver in her haste to get from the dining room through the living room to the door. Sure enough, his shadow was outlined through the frame of the wrought-iron screen door. She didn’t remember flicking on the porch light, disengaging the alarm, and unlocking the doors before yanking them open.
“I didn’t expect you,” she said as she caught his hand and tried to pull him inside. When he didn’t budge, she frowned up at him. “Aren’t you coming inside?”
“Can’t,” he whispered.
“Why?” She sighed, pressing her face to the base of his throat and inhaling his male scent. He smelled of a combination of his favorite aftershave, sweat, and his own special scent, heady.
“I’ve missed you.” He rested his chin against her forehead.
“Why did you stay away? Are you angry with me?” she asked, needing to understand what had gone wrong with them.
“No, if anything, I’m angry with myself for pressuring you when you were already being overwhelmed by Cummingham’s demands. You didn’t need me adding to it.”
“That’s why you stayed away?” She pulled back, far enough to see his face.
He nodded. He eased away to reach inside the house to turn off the overhead light. He said, “We don’t want your neighbors to see you.”
“My neighbors should all be asleep,” she insisted, relieved when he wrapped his arms around her again.
“I know it is late, but when I saw the lights on, I couldn’t resist. You should be in bed.”
“So should you. I don’t get it. How could you just be passing by? This is way out of your way.”
“Yeah. But since I can’t see or talk to you, I had to at least go past the house to make sure you’re okay.”
Vanessa smiled. “Thank you, but we’re fine.” Only she missed him terribly.
“You’re welcome.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine,” she hedged.
“Would you tell me if you weren’t fine?”
She smiled. “Probably not.”
“Figures. You don’t have to be so darn strong, beautiful,” he complained, brushing his lips over hers.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t. I’m only a phone call away, sweetheart.”
“I…”
He stopped her before she could say more. “You’re not alone tonight.” He tightened his arms around her.
She rubbed her cheek against his T-shirt-covered shoulder. “You smell like sweat.”
He laughed. “I was playing in a late-night basketball game at the community center.”
“Nessa!”
“Excuse me,” she turned toward the stairs. “Lana, I’ll be up in a minute!” Turning back to him she said, “Ralph, I’m sorry, but…”
“I know you’ve got to go. Call me and let me know when and where.”
“Tuesday at three. You’ll come with me to see the lawyer?” she asked, trying not to show her eagerness.
“Absolutely.” He kissed her tenderly. “’Night.” He began to move toward the door.
“’Night,” she whispered back, wishing he could stay and hold her all night long. But she had more than herself to take into consideration. She had an impressionable teenage sister and little sister and brother to set an example for. They might not even realize it now, but Vanessa knew her actions would impact on the children’s lives for years to come.
“Don’t forget to set the alarm,” he reminded.
“I won’t.” Vanessa gave him a small wave before she locked up.
“Nessa, where are you?”
“Right here,” she said as she mounted the stairs. “Something wrong?” Locking arms with her sister, she walked Lana back into her bedroom. “You should be sleeping.”
“I know. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What’s wrong, kiddo?”
“I was talking to Marissa and her cousin Cheryl on the three way. We were talking about colleges. Cheryl goes to Michigan State.” They curled up on Lana’s bed together.
“What do you think about Michigan State?”
“I really don’t know that much about it. Why, honey?”
“Marissa wants me to go away to Lansing with her. She’s talking about us being roommates. I keep telling her that I’m going to Wayne State, if I get in, but she won’t listen.” Lana frowned.
Vanessa reached out and squeezed Lana’s hand. “Honey, you don’t have to stay in Detroit with us. You can go away if you like.”
“But it costs so much to live on campus. I keep telling Marissa that, but she doesn’t understand. She’s got a mother and a father, so she doesn’t have to worry about money.”
Vanessa hugged her, then said, “If you want to go away to school, we’ll find a way. Lana, I don’t want you worrying about money or me and the twins.”
“I know, but…”
“But nothing. We still have plenty of time. We don’t have to decide tonight. And you don’t have to worry about college right now.” Vanessa had decided that for now she wouldn’t tell Lana about the letter from the twins’ father. She didn’t want to upset her.
Vanessa shook Lana playfully. “Stop worrying. I’m going to bed. You can stay up because you don’t have school in the morning, but I have to go to work, kiddo. Next time, let’s do this in the evening.”
Lana laughed. “Okay!”
“Sleep well, baby girl.” Vanessa kissed her cheek and gave her a hug.
“’Night, sis. Love you,” Lana said as she reached for her bedside lamp.
“I love you, too.” Vanessa went in to check on the twins. They were sound asleep in Curtis’s room. She covered them both and tiptoed out. She didn’t have a problem seeing, since the night-light was on in the upstairs bathroom.
Vanessa went into the dining room to collect her pattern pieces and put everything away. After placing the fruit bowl back in the center of the table, she got ready for bed, doing her best to take her own advice and not worry.
She was still in shock. She had seen Ralph, knew that things were good between them. He wasn’t angry over her refusal. He hadn’t even brought the subject up. She missed him. She hadn’t forgotten that he was a sexy, healthy, good-looking man who was used to an active sex life. And now he was involved with her.
She could count the number of times she’d had sex on one hand. It was a big difference. How long did she have before he became bored with her? She had felt his desire while he’d held her tonight. And he left unsatisfied. There were plenty of women who wouldn’t hesitate to invite him to spend the night.
“Enough,” she scolded herself aloud. It was late. Pounding her pillow, she closed her eyes, hoping to find solace in sleep.
Although her lids were heavy, her thoughts shifted to the situation with Greg Cummingham. How was she going to pay for this high-priced lawyer? How long could she keep Lana in the dark? And what if things got so desperate that she had to use Lana’s college fund to pay for the lawyer? What then?
How could she replace even part of the money intended for Lana’s college expenses? Lana wanted to be able to go away to college no matter how much she denied it. Even with the amount of money their father had put aside for her education, it was going to be a tight squeeze getting her through four years of college, especially with today’s inflated cost of tuition and fees. There would be dormitory fees, as well as the additional expenses of books, clothes, and food.
A scholarship would help so much. But Vanessa was not going to fool herself. There was a mighty big question mark hanging over their heads. Yes, there was also the possibility that the Mathis college fund might be able to help Vanessa pay for some of Lana’s college fees. Unfortunately, there were no guarantees.
No way she could just sit back and let the twins go without a fight. “I have to stop the twins’ father,” she whispered, wiping impatiently at the tears running down her cheeks. She hated crying, especially when she knew it wouldn’t change anything and would, no doubt, give her a headache.
Was Ralph right? Was she letting her pride get in the way, keeping her from doing what was best for her family? Accepting his help certainly didn’t feel like the easy way out of a bad situation. But was it right for her? She was running out of time and options.
Naturally, she’d put aside money for all three kids’ school clothes. She’d also made some things, but she knew they wanted brand-name clothes. Vanessa compromised, allowing them to pick one special outfit, as long as it wasn’t outrageously expensive. Normally, she started saving after Christmas and counted herself blessed that nothing in the house had broken down or needed repair as the year progressed. Nothing could have prepared her for Cummingham’s surprise.
The twins would be starting first grade in a few weeks. They didn’t need the added worry that the father they knew nothing about was trying to take them away from her. It was going to be hard enough for them to switch to a new classroom and a new teacher. First grade meant learning to read, write, and do math. Lots of adjustments.
With her lids tightly closed, she remembered the whispered promise she’d made to her dying mother. She’d vowed to take care of the babies and Lana. It was a promise she would never break. Greg Cummingham had better get ready because he was going to have a real fight on his hands. She was not backing down.
And she was not going to be alone. She had Ralph on her side. They both accepted that marriage for the wrong reason would ruin their lives. They were lovers but were not in love. Ralph’s proposal had been his way of helping. She was not going to let a dream of wearing a beautiful wedding gown cloud her judgment. Not for one minute could she forget that the word “love” hadn’t passed his firm, well-shaped lips.
As promised, Ralph was at her side when she walked into Carl Jones’s law office. She didn’t realized how upset she was until she began to outline what she’d always considered private to a stranger. Mr. Jones’s considerate and kind manner helped to ease her anxiety and explained why he came so highly recommended. The family-practice attorney specialized in adoption and child-custody cases.
Vanessa didn’t realize she was trembling until Ralph took her quivering hand into his own. Her solution to her money problem was simple. The savings that she had been putting aside for emergencies would go first, then her college fund and her 401(k). Lana’s college fund would be left untouched until the very end. With any luck, she wouldn’t have to ask Lana to make that kind of sacrifice.
She was so relieved when Mr. Jones agreed to take the case that she could have wept for joy. He was a handsome dignified older man, with a full head of silver hair. He was taking the case as a favor to Ralph. He admired Ralph’s skill on the basketball court and his work in the community. He warned them it didn’t look good. Cummingham, besides being nationally known for his phenomenal success in the courtroom and being very wealthy, was the twins’ biological father.
Cummingham claimed that he’d only recently learned about the twins’ existence. That their mother hadn’t told him about the pregnancy, and it would come down to Vanessa’s word against his. And because he claimed he didn’t know about the children, technically he didn’t owe back child support.
When Mr. Jones explained his fee, Vanessa nearly fell through the floor. Before she could formulate her apology for wasting his time, Ralph handed him a check. In shock, she simply stared, unable to stop him or push the words out. By the time they left the attorney’s office, her head was spinning from details, and her heart was racing with fear.
Once Ralph had helped her into the car and clicked her seat belt, he was smiling when he slid beneath the steering column, and snapped his own seat belt into place. “That wasn’t too bad. At least we know that although Cummingham is asking for permanent custody, unsupervised visitation rights, and that his wife was eager to adopt the twins. He’s going to have trouble on his hands. Jones has taken the case.”
Overwhelmed, Vanessa burst into tears, unable to control the anguish deep inside.
“Beautiful, don’t,” he whispered as he unsnapped his seat belt and hers so he could pull her close. “It’s going to be all right. I promise you. We got the best. Carl Jones knows what he’s doing,” Ralph soothed, trying to dry her tears.
Vanessa struggled to control the sobs, but nothing seemed to help as all the fears of the last few days bubbled up inside, plus the awareness of what she’d let him do. It was too much, her heart ached.
“I’m so afraid Cummingham is going to win. You heard Mr. Jones. The man clearly has the advantage. He’s their biological father. No matter how desperately I wish it were not true. And I still may lose the twins!”
“Shush, sweetheart, we’re going to fight him every step of the way. We’re not going to just cave in and hand them over because he asked. Hell no,” he snarled.
“But there is only so much we can do,” she mumbled.
“You heard. The only reason he took the case is because he admires you. We’re on shaky ground from the start.”
“Now you listen to me.” He placed a tender kiss against her swollen lids. “Are you listening?”
At this point, all she could do was nod, she was so choked up with emotion. “Cummingham is going to have to prove it to us and the court that he is their father. We’re going to delay by demanding a DNA test, not the saliva test but a blood test which will take longer. We can also delay matters by insisting on court-supervised visits. We’re going to do everything we can to delay this custody case and make it as difficult for him as possible.”
Her tears stopped, and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling his head down to hers. She kissed him saying, “Thank you,” over and over.
When he lifted his head, he was scowling. “There is no need for you to thank me. You and the twins are important to me. You’re not in this alone. We’re a team.”
She stared at him through lashes spiked by tears. “I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate all you’ve done for me and my family. I didn’t plan on letting you pay Mr. Jones. And when you handed him that check I wanted to stop you, but I couldn’t. I finally accepted I had no other options. I will pay you back, every penny.”
Judging by his expression, he clearly didn’t want her appreciation, which made no sense to her. She was the one left obligated to him. So what if it hurt her pride. The twins were more than worth any personal sacrifice. She kept forgetting this wasn’t about her or her relationship with Ralph. Most important, Lana’s college fund would remain untouched. Eventually, she’d find a way to pay him back.
“How did you know I don’t trust him…that I wanted supervised visits?” Vanessa questioned, pushing her financial concerns aside for now.
“After what you told me about the way he disrespected your mother, I don’t trust him at all. I don’t want the twins left in his care.” He surprised her when he said, “I am curious about something. Why didn’t you adopt the twins when they were babies? Why the delay? You’ve taken care of the twins for years without any support from Cummingham.”
Vanessa looked away, using a damp tissue to freshen up. “I’m not proud of my reason. I was afraid that if I reminded him of his paternity, he’d change his mind. So I decided to leave it alone. As their legal guardian, I’ve been able to take care of their needs. That mistake has come back to bite me on the butt.”
“There is no point in blaming yourself now. You had no way of knowing he’d change his mind six years later. You okay?”
She smiled. “I am. Thank you, I promise I will pay you back. I’d rather not touch Lana’s college fund. But I have some money. I have an emergency fund, my college savings that I’ve been putting away so I can go back and finish my degree someday. It’s not a lot. And then I have my 401(k). And I’m sure if I ask, Gavin might loan me the rest of the money.” At his continued silence, she glanced his way. One look told her all she needed to know. He was furious. “What?”
“You’d rather take money from Gavin than me! How do you think that makes me feel?”
“I’m not trying to hurt you. I told you I genuinely appreciate your help. I took the loan from you. I’m just talking it out, trying to figure out how to pay you back as soon as possible.”
He stopped her protest with a hard kiss. “It’s a loan, beautiful. And it’s between the two of us, no one else. I’m not going to ask for it back.”
She gasped, shocked, “I can’t…”
“What I’m saying is the choice is yours. Call it a loan. Or keep it. If you can’t handle that, then we will go pick out an engagement ring.”
Vanessa closed her mouth so quickly her teeth clicked. “Very funny.”
“I’m not joking.” After starting the motor and putting the car into gear, he glanced behind him before pulling out into the late-afternoon traffic. He said no more as he headed north on Woodward Avenue.
She had no doubt that he was serious, and it unnerved her. She sat silently, thinking. Why was he making this so complicated? She didn’t want to take the money in the first place. Yet she’d done what was best for the entire family. Then she had made the mistake of mentioning Gavin’s name.
She didn’t want him angry at her. Nor did she plan to follow his lead. She was not keeping his money or getting married. Although she had to admit it was such a relief knowing she didn’t have to deal with possible life-altering decisions alone.
Since she’d lost her mother, every decision concerning the children had rested on her shoulders. There were times when she honestly hadn’t known the right answer. Often, Vanessa prayed over what to do, then hoped for the best. Over the years, she’d grown used to making decisions on her own, but she’d never grown to like it.
Many things had changed since Ralph had come into their lives. Clearly, Curtis had bloomed under his guidance. But Curtis wasn’t the only family member who had benefited from having a man around. Both Courtney and Lana had gained confidence and enjoyed his attention. The children liked him so much, Vanessa had begun to worry that they were becoming too dependent on him. And now this.
But marriage? There was no point in trying to fool herself. There were a truckload of reasons why her family would benefit if she and Ralph married. And those reasons had nothing to do with his financial success. But the children weren’t the only ones who enjoyed spending time with Ralph.
For some time, Vanessa had been reluctant to deal with her growing feelings for him. She not only valued his friendship, she also relished what they’d enjoyed in and out of bed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget that he was not only gorgeous but an unselfish lover. More important, the two of them enjoyed being together. When she talked, he listened to what she had to say. They also shared the same family values.
She scowled. It was time to get her head out of fantasy land. She needed to concentrate on the facts. Ralph’s proposal had nothing to do with love or even the two of them. The goal was to keep her family together. Marriage to him would in Ralph’s opinion convince Cummingham that the twins had a powerful backer. Ralph could more than match his income.
Soon she’d have to explain the custody case to the twins. She’d always been as truthful and straightforward with them, without being hurtful. They knew their mother had passed and that their father had never lived with them. They also knew his name and that he was an extremely busy man.
She had no idea why their father had chosen not to be a part of their lives. She simply decided to assure them that they had a family and were wanted and loved. She and Lana were their family, and that had satisfied them.
Vanessa had always believed it was wrong for a couple to marry unless they were deeply in love. Marriage was no picnic under the most favorable circumstances. Cummingham’s custody suit and Ralph’s proposal hadn’t changed her mind.
“Vanessa, which way? How are we going to handle this? Do we need to go now to buy that ring?” he asked, as they approached the expressway. Northwest would take her home, northeast would take them toward an exclusive shopping center.
Without hesitation, she blurted out, “No, please, take me home.”
He merely nodded. Vanessa stared at his dark profile. Disturbed by his continued silence, she found herself inquiring, “Are you angry because I think it would be a mistake for us to marry?”
“I’m not angry.”
“Then what do you call it? Ralph, you haven’t said much of anything to me since we left Mr. Jones’s office.”
She watched his firm lips tighten. He was angry! He might not be ready to admit it, but it was as clear as the nose on his face. “I don’t get it. You aren’t making a lot of sense to me, Ralph Prescott. You have been a confirmed bachelor for as long as I’ve known you. The ladies in your family are on your case about your refusal to settle down. Yet you’re spouting out this stuff about marriage like you can’t do it fast enough. Why? What happened? Did someone hit you upside your head while your back was turned?”
“Very funny,” he sneered.
“I’d like an answer. Something has drastically changed the man we all know and love.”
He gave her a sharp glance. “Love?”
“Yeah, I said the L word. I mean it as in the friendship way, not the ‘in-love’ version. Got it?”
“Got it,” he echoed.
“Then please, indulge me and explain.”
While not taking his eyes off the road, he let out a frustrated growl. “It’s not exactly a secret that you need money to pay the lawyer. Since you’ve refused my financial help, as a last resort I offered marriage, assuming you have no objections to a husband taking care of his family. Simple.”
“There is nothing simple about it when the man in question is you.”
“And the woman is you,” he finished for her. Then he asked, “Lana should be able to go through her last year in high school without having to worry. She wants to be able to go away to college like her girlfriends.”
Vanessa looked shocked. “When did she tell you?”
“A couple of weeks ago. Why?”
“She only told me the other night.”
“I’m glad she finally did. It’s been worrying her.”
Ralph sighed. “Lana’s an ‘A’ student with a bright future. The twins deserve to be happy without fearing they’re going to be taken away.”
Holding back tears, Vanessa said, “You’re right. My family deserved better. Ralph, I can’t accept your proposal when I know it is the last thing you want.”
“So you’re going to insist on paying me back,” he said tightly.
“Yes, it’s the right thing to do. What I accepted was a loan. And I promise to pay you back, every dime.” Vanessa eyed him through the thickness of her lashes.
He didn’t speak until he’d parked in front of her house. “Small installment,” he clarified.
“Yes, but I don’t want you to worry that…”
He kissed her. “No more talk of money. I know it’s not dark yet, but with the tinted windows, we shouldn’t be seen from the street. Let me hold you for a few minutes before we go in. I’ve missed you.”
Vanessa nodded; she was not about to object. She’d missed him, too, missed their intimacy. With her cheek against his chest, she closed her eyes. As she enjoyed his male scent, she was able to admit what she had wisely kept hidden…she yearned for his love. Ralph was a special man with a generous heart. He’d not only won her family’s respect but hers as well. She hadn’t planned to risk her heart. Yet she’d be the happiest woman in the world if she thought his feelings could go deep enough to ensure his fidelity. Unfortunately, with Ralph that was not about to happen.