Vanessa knew she was being selfish by putting off telling the twins about the upcoming visits with their father but couldn’t seem to help it. At this point, she was grateful for the small victories they’d been granted, the court-supervised visits and the blood test to establish paternity. Nonetheless, she had put off telling the children about any of it until the last possible minute.
Courtney evidently suspected something was wrong because she clung to Vanessa, resting her head against her big sister’s arm. Lana looked on from the armchair, worrying her bottom lip. Curtis sat on Vanessa’s other side, oblivious to the tension in the air, playing with his collection of small toy cars.
Vanessa was glad that she had tried to answer the twins’ questions about their father over the years as honestly as she could without imposing her biased opinions on them.
“What’s going on, sis?” Lana asked.
Vanessa forced a smile.
“We need to talk. Courtney and Curtis, do you remember when we talked about your daddy?”
“Greg Cummingham!” Curtis volunteered, excitedly, as if he’d passed a test.
“He lives in a big house in Detroit,” Courtney added matter-of-factly.
“He’s very busy and can’t come to visit,” Curtis supplied. Evidently bored, he asked, “Can I go outside and play on the swings?”
“I want to go, too!” Courtney put in.
“Not until we have finished talking. You two are going to the doctor, tomorrow.”
“For shots? So we can go back to school, right?” Courtney quizzed.
“Nessa?” Curtis prompted.
“That’s right, Curtis. School is going to start in a few weeks. And that’s one of the things we have to do to get ready. Everything has to be up-to-date. You’re also going to have a blood test, so everyone will know that Greg Cummingham is your dad.”
“I don’t want to go to the doctor, Nessa. Those shots hurt,” Curtis said with a frown.
“I know, but you want to go to school. Everyone has to go to the doctor at some time. Even Lana and I have to go to the doctor sometimes. You know that.”
“I bet Ralph don’t have to go to no doctor,” Curtis insisted.
Vanessa smiled. “Yes, he also has to go.”
Courtney nodded. “And then we get to go get ice cream sundaes!”
“That’s right,” Vanessa agreed, recalling the treat her mother had also used to get her and Lana to cooperate back in the old days. “Only this time, it’s going to be different. As soon as the judge says it’s okay, you and Curtis will have a chance to go see your dad.”
“Judge?” Lana repeated, suddenly sitting up straight, her eyes wide with alarm.
Vanessa nodded, shaking her head in an effort to caution her not to get upset in front of the twins.
“What’s a judge?” Curtis and Courtney both asked.
“A very important person who helps us decide on things,” Vanessa enthused. “Did you hear? You two are going to go visit your dad.” She forced a smile. “In fact, you two are going to see his house. And one day soon, you two can have a sleepover at his house. Won’t that be nice?”
Curtis and Courtney looked at her for a long moment, as if they didn’t understand what she meant.
Finally, Courtney asked, “Can I take my Raggedy Ann doll?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“You and Lana gonna sleep over, too?” Curtis wanted to know.
“No, but you’re going to have a good time.”
“I don’t wanna!” Courtney frowned. “Why can’t he sleep at our house?”
Vanessa decided that she had put enough on them. Besides that, she didn’t know how much more she could say without falling apart. She couldn’t let the children see her fears and doubts. It would only make things worse and really scare them.
She smiled. “Well, we don’t have to decide now. Why don’t you two go out and play on the swings?”
Curtis and Courtney cheered, then jumped up, kissed Vanessa’s cheeks. They squealed as they raced each other to the stairs and down to the door and out to the backyard.
Lana waited until she heard the screen door slam. With big angry tears filling her eyes and trembling lips, she snapped, “Nessa! I want to know what’s going on! I’m not a baby, so stop treating me like one! And don’t tell me some mess about going to visit Greg Cummingham! I know better!”
“I’m sorry, Lana. I put off telling you as long as I could because I didn’t want to worry or upset you.”
Vanessa opened her arms, and Lana didn’t hesitate; she came to her sister and rested her head on her shoulder. Seeking both comfort and assurance as she had when they lost their mother, Lana whispered, “He’s trying to take the twins away from us, isn’t he?”
Vanessa admitted sadly. “Yes. He’s married now. Unfortunately for us, he and his wife have decided they want the twins.”
“Well, he can’t have them!” she wailed, brokenhearted.
“It’s been six years!” Fresh tears fell down her pretty brown cheeks. “What can we do to stop them?”
“Fight! We have a good lawyer. Ralph helped me find him. Mr. Jones, our lawyer, is taking this case as a favor to Ralph.” Vanessa wiped away her sister’s tears and kissed her cheek. “We’re not going to sit back and let Cummingham win.”
“I’m glad you told Ralph. I knew he would help. Does Mr. Jones think we have a good case?”
Although she was tempted to lie, she couldn’t. Vanessa shook her head no. “He warned me that there is no getting around the fact that Greg is the twins’ father. The blood test will prove it. That doesn’t mean we are going to hand them over because he decided he wants to play daddy,” she snapped.
“What are we using for money? We can’t afford a lawyer.” Before Vanessa could answer, Lana offered, “We can use my college fund. I can always work my way through college. Lots of kids do.”
“I appreciate your offer. It’s so sweet of you.” Vanessa gave her a tight hug and kissed her cheek. “For a while, I thought I might have to do it, once my savings were gone. But I didn’t want to do it unless there was no other option. Ralph offered to loan the money. I didn’t want to accept it from him, especially when I found what it would cost. But I did because I had no other choice. Then we got a hefty check of back child support payment from Cummingham.”
“It will cover it?”
Vanessa smiled. “Cummingham, in a sense, is paying for both lawyers. I’d much rather put it away for the twins’ education.” Vanessa smoothed Lana’s bangs. “Try not to worry.”
Lana shrugged, wiping away a tear. “Can’t help it.”
“That’s where our faith comes in. We have to think positive. No negative thoughts allowed. Remember, we have to be strong for the babies. They’re going to need us like never before. Soon the court-ordered visits are going to start. First, it will be with a social worker present, but after that, the twins will be going alone and will stay the entire weekend with the Cumminghams.”
“What does that mean? Why can’t we go with them? We don’t know those people,” Lana insisted.
“I know. And we are going to fight them for as long as we can. But, for the twins’ sake, we’re going to act as if nothing is wrong. It’s going to be difficult, especially when we also have to make sure they don’t believe that we are abandoning them to strangers. It’s going to seem like balancing on a high wire.”
Lana whispered, “I hate this!” as a fresh bout of tears filled her eyes.
“Come on, honey. You’ve got to stop! We don’t want the twins to come back and see us crying. If you keep this up, I will be crying, too. And it will only make it harder for them. We don’t want to scare them.”
Lana sniffed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help it.”
Just then, they heard the door slam and stamping feet.
Then Courtney, yelling “I’m going to tell!”
Lana took off, running up to her room.
“Nessa, Curtis Grant is mean!” Courtney posed with hands on her nonexistent hips. Then she jumped in her sister’s lap. “Why couldn’t he be a girl? Boys are so stupid!” She wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist and put her head on her shoulder.
Vanessa kissed her forehead, saying, “Really, I like having a brother. He’s so good at finding spiders and taking them outside.”
Courtney sighed heavily as she gave it some thought. “I suppose, but he won’t take turns pushing. I pushed him three times.” She held up three fingers for emphasis.
Vanessa could not help smiling. “I thought that’s what big sisters are for.”
Courtney studied her eyes as Vanessa said, “Big sisters, like me, love to push. Would you like a giant push?”
“Only me?” Courtney asked hopefully.
“Four huge pushes,” Vanessa volunteered.
“Okay!” Courtney jumped up all smiles. Grabbing Vanessa’s hand, she urged, “Hurry!”
Vanessa smiled, following her sister outside. If only all her problems were that easy to resolve. She tried to concentrate on enjoying the twins and the lovely summer evening. She was relieved when Lana came out and joined in a game of hide-and-seek. When the mosquitoes came out, the twins curled up on the porch swing with their sisters and listened while Vanessa and Lana took turns reading the last Harry Potter book. It wasn’t until the house was quiet, the children asleep, that Vanessa was able to let go and allow her own tears to dampen her pillow.
Even though she’d thought she was prepared for Lana’s heartache and tears, she was not. It had been worse than she had anticipated. Her little sister had been crushed, and knowing there was nothing she could say or do to help made it devastating. And this in a sense was only the beginning. They had weeks of uncertainty ahead, with no assurance they would win. Talk about pain. She hated it. Hated what it was doing to their family.
It was close to midnight when the bedside telephone rang. She didn’t have to check caller ID to know who was on the other end of the line. She sniffed, nose running, before she picked up the telephone. “Hi, can you hold a second?”
“For you, anything.” He spoke in that deep, seductive tone she found impossible to resist.
Hurrying into the bathroom, she blew her nose and bathed her swollen lids with a cool, damp cloth. She raced back to the telephone, somewhat breathless, and said, “How was your meeting?”
“It went well. It’s not me I’m concerned about. Tell me what’s got you so upset, beautiful.”
She smiled, realizing he knew her a little too well if he could gauge her mood from the tone of her voice. “Am I that obvious?”
“To me, absolutely. Start talking, or would you rather I came over there?”
The concern in his voice made her heart pulse from the pleasure. “I wish,” she let slip. Then hastily, she said, “I wouldn’t ask that of you. You’ve had a long, busy day. Two meetings downtown. Then you worked on campus the rest of the day. Then you went and volunteered at the community center. That doesn’t count the work waiting on your desk at home. You have to be beat. You don’t need me crying on your shoulder.”
“I’m on my way!”
“No! Honey, please don’t. I’m fine really!”
“You didn’t sound fine when you picked up the phone. Tell me.”
She released an embarrassed sigh. “I was feeling sorry for myself and got a little weepy. That’s all.”
He sounded doubtful when he asked, “Are you sure you don’t need me?”
She released a little laugh. She’d like nothing more than to have his arms around her about now, but she wouldn’t ask him to drive across town just to hold her. She wasn’t that weak. Nor was she that selfish.
“I am fine…truly. As you know, I’ve been putting off telling the kids what’s going on. Well, I told them. Naturally, I gave the twins the limited version of what was going on. Of course, Lana read between the lines, and, like me, she was very upset and took it hard.” She ended on a sad little sigh.
“That is understandable. She recognized the threat to your family.”
“Then we couldn’t really talk it all out with the twins running around. It wasn’t until they were asleep that I could spend time with her and hopefully relieve some of the worry. I hate this. And I will be so glad when it’s over,” she confessed.
“I know. You don’t want Lana hurting, but there isn’t much you can say or do to make it better. I feel that way about you.”
She smiled. “You are awfully good at this, Ralph Prescott. No wonder women find you so charming.”
He made an impatient sound. “Very funny, Nessa.”
“I wasn’t joking. I’m serious. Women do find you irresistible.” She frowned, wishing she hadn’t voiced the thought.
“Don’t start trying to find reasons to push me away. We were talking about you and Lana.” His voice oozed exasperation. “So how is she now?”
“She cried herself to sleep. I’m hoping it helped.”
“That I don’t understand. How can crying make you feel better?”
Vanessa laughed. “You mean, there is something you haven’t figured out about the female of the species?”
“That’s what I said,” he said impatiently. “Why are you trying to pick a fight?”
“I’m not!” Then she frowned, wondering if he might be right. He had his pick of the most beautiful ladies in the city. Sometimes her doubts about herself caused her to wonder why he’d picked her. She was no great beauty. She couldn’t afford expensive clothes or to have her hair and nails done professionally. How long before he became bored with her?
“You’d rather fight than tell me what you were crying about when I called.” He sighed. “The kids depend on you. They know they can count on you to be there for them. I want to be that person for you…the one you, beautiful lady, can count on.”
“You don’t ask for much, do you?” she said as she released a weary sound. “Ralph, give me some slack. It’s after midnight, and I’m exhausted.”
He growled something that she didn’t catch. “What did you say?”
“Nothing important,” he grumbled.
“So repeat what you said.”
“I will, right after you respond to the ‘count on me’ comment.”
“Ralph, I do count on you.” Maybe too much, she didn’t add. After all, she was afraid of repeating her mother’s mistakes…growing to depend on a man and caring too much. Did she dare trust him with her heart?
“Okay, beautiful. I know you think I’m pushing, but I’m not. Well, I don’t mean to pressure you. I know you have a lot going on right now, but…”
She waited a few moments for him to finish. When he didn’t, she prompted, “…but?”
“I can’t help how I feel about you. I’m falling in love with you, Vanessa Grant.”
Vanessa covered her mouth to hold in a scream and nearly strangled herself by the sharp intake of air that turned into a coughing fit. When she could finally speak, she blurted out, “Ralph, you can’t mean that!”
He snarled, “So now you are going to tell me how I feel? Give me some credit. It isn’t something I planned. It just happened.”
With her hands curled into fists from fear and doubts, Vanessa bit her tongue to keep from yelling. She couldn’t handle his kind of love. How long would it last? A month…two, until the next beauty caught his eye? She couldn’t believe, not without leaving herself wide open to hurt and pain. No, she couldn’t risk it. Maybe if she had only herself to think of. But she had kids depending on her to make the right decisions. No, she had to be careful.
“I really thought we had gotten past the lines, Ralph. Now you tell me this! Why?”
“What did you say?”
“Oh, you heard me. Loud and clear.” She glared at the telephone.
Evidently he heard the frustration in her voice. “This is no line, Vanessa. And it’s clear your defenses are firmly in place tonight. You’re doing your level best to push me away. It’s not working.”
“It was worth the effort. We both know I couldn’t push you if I tried. You’re too big!” She forced out a laugh, struggling to make light of it. What a mess.
“Believe it! I am too stubborn to give up and run the other way, gorgeous.”
She didn’t add he wasn’t that stubborn. And she was not blind. She was the flavor of the moment. The minute he had enough he would be gone…ready to move on to the next gorgeous challenge. For a while she’d had her head in fantasy land. No more. It was time to deal with the unvarnished truth. Yes, she cared about him, but she was not about to let him know just how deep her feelings went.
“I know it’s an effort to keep all the names straight, but mine is Vanessa, not gorgeous. I have my feet planted on God’s green earth. No games.”
“Thanks for clearing that up for me. Are you done?”
“Yeah,” she said tiredly, all the fight having gone out of her. “I need my friend back, badly.” She couldn’t handle the demanding lover. “Please, don’t be angry.”
“I’m not.” He sighed. “Dinner tomorrow? Do you want to eat in or out?” he said matter-of-factly.
“Out. Can we come by your place? Please.”
“The kids need a distraction?” he said quietly.
“Something like that. You don’t mind?” She pushed her hair out of her face, too tired to even put it in a braid.
“Nope. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Thanks, Ralph. I’ll bring the food.”
“Not necessary. I’ll take a slab of Corky’s Ribs out of the freezer.”
“What can I bring?”
“You and that new red swimsuit,” he teased.
She giggled. “You, Ralph Prescott, are so wrong.”
Chuckling, he said, “Glad you noticed. See you around six.”
“Okay. And thanks again,” she murmured sleepily. “Good night.” As long as they both knew where they stood in this so-called relationship, no one would end up hurt when it was over.
Ralph was swearing as he hung up the phone. He told himself he had every right to be ticked, every reason to walk and never look back. Vanessa had managed to hurt him as no other woman had ever come close to doing. And he’d lay odds that she’d done it without realizing what she was doing. In her attempt to remain up front and honest, his lovely lady had not intended to hurt him, that wasn’t her way. Nonetheless, he was left reeling as if he had received a sucker punch to the gut.
He released a litany of swearwords that unfortunately for him didn’t do a thing toward easing his heartache. Why wasn’t there a law against falling in love?
“As bad as it hurts, it should be illegal,” he grumbled aloud. Now she had him talking to himself!
Yet despite his increasing frustration, he couldn’t remain angry with her.
What would be the point? She was not trying to hurt him. She was merely stating what she believed to be fact. And she was right, there were plenty of disgruntled females willing to swear on a stack of Bibles that he had taken advantage of them. Even though he knew he’d only taken what had been freely given. Women had the most annoying habit of sticking together.
When had telling your woman how you feel about her become a line? And why didn’t she believe him? Throwing his past in his face didn’t change how he felt about her. Maybe he was better off this way? Seeing her wearing his ring would be the same as having one through the nose. He didn’t need the hassle of her doubting his every word.
It hadn’t hurt when he’d been playing around. He had never lied to any of the women. He hadn’t cared enough. There was no doubt that this love thing was kicking his behind.
With Vanessa, it was different because he was different. There had been no room for pretence. She was real. And she faced real challenges each and every day, just to survive and do her best for her family. She took her role as single parent and caregiver seriously. From day one, he had respected this very special lady…his lady.
“I wish,” Ralph grumbled out loud.
He couldn’t even blame her for doubting him. He hadn’t planned to tell her at all. Tonight, the words had slipped out. And there was nothing to be done about it now but deal with it.
Well, he had to hand it to her. She’d done an exceptional job of protecting herself. It was a pity he hadn’t used a little common sense and done the same. Instead he was running around, like the walking wounded. Why didn’t he just go and stamp “fool” on his forehead and be done with it. He could almost hear Devin laughing his head off, and Gavin would be right beside him. By now Wes had also figured it out! And Kelli had warned him to watch his step. A fat lot of good it had done. Oh no, he’d gone and done exactly what she had predicted…fallen like a ton of bricks.
Ralph went to his den to the liquor cabinet, where he kept the hard stuff. He poured, then downed a squat glass of Jack Daniel’s. Even as he felt the burn all the way down, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to forget. He could kill the whole bottle and nothing would change. He was falling in love with Vanessa Grant. Even though it scared the hell out of him, he could not walk away. He was in for the duration.