When they got back to the farm, River and Josh carried the tack inside the barn and dried the sweat off the horses with a towel. River’s mom called them from the kitchen door, and they made their way up to the house.
River’s forehead was beading with sweat. Her red bandana never seemed to keep it from dripping onto her brow. It became a cakey mess as dust was thrown up from the tires of her stepdad’s truck. By the time he had sped up the long dirt driveway and skidded beside them, the dust was a waist-high cloud. River glared at Randy as he brought the truck to a stop.
Why speed up a driveway? she thought.
“I’m going in to freshen up,” River said to Josh. She tried to avoid Randy’s eye as she went inside and washed her hands at the kitchen sink. She scrubbed the dirt from under her fingernails. It was a habit River had had since her mom told her that, when she was small, they would get the strap at school if their fingernails were dirty. River figured it was a good habit for a farm girl to have.
“Are you staying for dinner, Josh?” River’s mom asked.
“Thanks for the invite,” he replied. “But I need to get home and clean up a bit. But I’ll be back for the bonfire tonight.” He opened the door to leave.
“Oh yeah, Mom,” River exclaimed as she bounced into the room. “Jazz, Charlie and Josh are coming over for a bonfire tonight.”
Patti smiled at her daughter. “Okay, that’s cool. Just let Randy know, and he can get some firewood for you. See you tonight, Josh.”
River smiled back at Josh as he left. Her smile vanished when Randy stormed into the kitchen and slammed the door behind him. River’s mom took a deep breath, but only River heard her.
Here we go, River thought.
“What the hell, River,” Randy started in, “Why are the wet saddle blankets on the front porch still? I thought I told you to hang them up right away?”
“Yeah . . . I was going to . . .” River grumbled. “But then Mom called us in for dinner.” She started to set the table.
Trying to explain just made Randy more aggressive. “Why do you always have a snarky attitude?”
Randy picked up a plate and smashed it against the brick chimney beside the dinner table. He picked up another and smashed it too. Blood dripped from his hand and splattered onto the plate River was still holding.
River slouched into a chair. She sat in silence until Randy had finished his tantrum. How he hated her mom’s choice of music, teenagers with attitudes and eating the same damn dinner every night. After he stomped to the basement, she heard the bottles clinking as he rummaged through them. He stomped up the stairs and out the door. She listened to the sound of the truck speeding away down the driveway.
She saw tears staining her mom’s cheeks. Her mom bent to pick up some of the larger pieces that remained of the plates that had belonged to her grandmother. She placed them carefully in the garbage can. River opened the closet door, grabbed the vacuum and plugged it in. She stopped and shrugged. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes. She hugged her mom.
“Mom. Are you okay?” River whispered.
Her mom said nothing. She wept. She wiped her tears with her sleeve like a child.
“Mom? Why does he do this all the time? Aren’t you sick of this?” River pleaded. “Seriously, we’re running out of Nana’s dishes for him to smash,” she said with a nervous laugh.
Her mom looked surprised at her comment, but she chuckled anyway. “I have no idea how you have a sense of humour through all of this. I can’t believe I make you live through this. I am so sorry. It really has to stop.” She took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you.” She bit her bottom lip.
“Okay . . .” They had been through this all before, but this part was new.
“River, I can’t do this anymore. I want to do what’s best for you. I want you to be happy and safe. You’re becoming a woman. And I don’t want you thinking that this kind of relationship is okay. It’s not healthy at all. Just because he doesn’t hit me, it still doesn’t make it okay.”
They were both quiet for a minute. To River, it felt like ten.
“Oh hell,” her mom muttered. “River, I’ve been seeing someone else!”
River was sure she had heard her mom wrong. Her mind raced. She’s . . . been . . . seeing . . . someone . . . else . . .
River saw her mom’s lips moving, but to River her voice sounded muffled. It was as if she was in the other room. “He’s a native guy from the rez. His name is Thomas. He said we could live there with him. I thought it might be a good idea, since you know, you’re struggling a bit with who you are . . . and . . .”
“Wait, what?” River scrunched her eyebrows. For some reason she found herself laughing.
She listened to her mom ramble. “He has a ponytail. And he has four kids, who are all older than you, and only two live with him. Two boys and two girls. And his home is a beautiful spot among the trees. You’ll only be half an hour away from Trent. So you won’t have to live in residence. We won’t be able to afford residence now, anyway.”
River sat up in the chair with a blank stare. The lump in her throat felt like a tennis ball. This was all going too fast.
“Mom,” she said, cutting off her mom’s description of the reserve where Thomas lived. “I think I need to be alone for a few minutes.”
She crept up the stairs and flopped onto the bed. She landed on her stomach with her face in the pillow. She didn’t know what to feel — anger, sadness, relief? She knew what the words meant. But she couldn’t figure out what it meant for her mom, for her. For their life. It sounded to River like her mom had already made up her mind and had a master plan all figured out. The one thing she forgot to do was talk to River about it.