Della
When I got settled back in Laurel Falls, I felt all sixes and sevens. Not home there, not home in D.C.
A while ago, Mary Lou and I’d worked out a schedule that honored her need for regular hours (especially with four kids at home) and my need to keep the budget in line. So when I was in Laurel Falls, I worked two days a week plus one while Mary Lou was there. The store seemed more like hers than mine, but she’d earned that. She’d done a good job improving sales; I’d be crazy to upset that rhythm.
And it no longer felt right spending so much time in D.C. I’d left after I got the distinct impression Alex was just making work for me.
I didn’t know where I belonged anymore.
The day didn’t brighten till late afternoon when I saw Abit and Millie heading up the steps to my apartment. But even he came through the door with a worried look. While I made us some fresh coffee, Abit asked me about the homeless in D.C. I’d sensed something had been troubling him since his last visit up there.
“Yeah, I feel that way myself. Homeless, in a way,” I said.
He stared at me for a few moments, growing agitated. “Are you crazy?” he finally said. “You’ve got two homes, for crying out loud. I can’t believe you just said that. You’ve got it great next to them guys lying on the cement, all their possessions in a goddam bag.”
I could feel my face flush. I poured us more coffee, mostly to avoid looking at him. “You’re right, honey. I shouldn’t have said that. Just a weak moment.”
“How do people get in such a bad situation?”
“Well, what can I tell you? The world can be a hard place, and some folks don’t have anything or anyone to fall back on.”
“Man, that sucks. I mean, is anyone doing anything about those guys?”
“Not just guys. Women and children, too. Almost as many of them are living rough.”
“Stop. That’s even more depressing.” Abit went on to tell me about one man in particular, holding his possessions while he slept. “He haunts me. I wanted to give him some money, but I was afraid he’d think I was attacking or robbing him. I wish I knew how to help.”
“Most relief comes from churches and leaders like Mitch Snyder—who got so depressed by the situation he hanged himself.” The look on his face made me regret my lack of finesse. “Sorry I was so blunt, but it’s difficult to paint that situation any way but as bad as it is. People act all sad and wring their hands—until it comes time to build housing near their property or raise taxes to pay for shelters. And I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard sanctimonious people say ‘those people just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.’”
“If they even have boots.”
“Good point, Mister. And most of these complainers are white and male and so-called Christians, which means they had three big things going for them as they tugged at their bootstraps.”
We both looked around for something else to talk about, and our eyes fell on Millie and Jake tussling on the rug. We both smiled, and I suggested we talk about this issue another time. Not to gloss over it, but my state of mind at the moment wasn’t right for this discussion.
“Okay, but it feels so big, and I can’t get that guy outta my mind.”
“Then do something. Contribute a percentage of your profits one month or put a piece of furniture in an auction. I bet Alex could find some charitable auction for the homeless in D.C., and next time I go up, I’ll take it. You can’t fix that mess, but you can do something.”
A week later, I found out I’d be going to D.C. sooner than I thought. Alex called and asked me if I wanted a job. His editor needed help with election coverage. The race between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole was heating up (even though Dole couldn’t seem to ratchet his rhetoric past tepid), and Ross Perot and Ralph Nader were trying to stir things up with third- and fourth-party challenges. Plus all the House and Senate races. Washington goes electric during election years, and I surprised myself with how eager I was to get back in the game. And get paid. Not that Alex hadn’t been generous with me, but that was more like wining and dining. This would be like the old days.