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The flowers I had placed on my husband’s grave a week ago had wilted from the heat of the summer. England had begun to heal from the war and so had I from the shock of Benedict’s needless death. Percy and I often took flowers to his grave, and I told him only of his father’s bravery. I would never convey the truth of Benedict’s death to my children as I determined to keep his heroism in their hearts and minds.
After replacing the flowers and stepping back to look at the grave marker, Percy remained quiet, holding my hand. I wanted to confess my unfaithfulness to his departed spirit and ask for forgiveness. Inwardly I had spoken the words but found them difficult to articulate vocally.
“We should get back to grandmother.” I gave him a slight tug of my hand to direct him to the house. He made no protest because he knew his afternoon snack would be waiting. Florence had fussed over Percy as if Benedict had returned as a child. As we approached the house, I saw an unknown vehicle. Not able to place its owner, I entered the foyer curious as to who had called upon us without notice.
“Go upstairs Percy and let Nanny Jane know you’re back.” My hand gave him an encouraging pat on the head.
“Yes, Mama.”
He gave no cause to disobey and headed up the stairs. I heard voices in the parlor but could not discern whom they belonged to until I came closer to the doorway. As soon as the recognizable voice of Doctor Reyer met my hearing, I rounded the corner happy to see him. What I didn’t expect was that Celia and Stefan would be with him. Shocked, I halted in my step.
“There she is,” Doctor Reyer cheerfully announced. Stefan stood to his feet while Celia jumped up and came toward me with arms wide. She had grown into a beautiful young lady, but her familiar dimples remained in her cheeks as well as her wild curly hair.
“Grace!”
Immediately she grabbed me in an embrace that nearly knocked me off my feet. Happy to see her, I closed my eyes and gave her an affectionate hug in return. When she let go of me, I smiled at her.
“What are you doing here?”
“We came for a visit,” she answered.
“Well, this is a surprise.” I glanced at Florence who grinned mischievously. “Did you know they were coming?”
“Yes, I admit that I did, but they wanted to surprise you.”
“Really.” My brow lifted over my right eye as I found the courage to look at Stefan. The conflict and years had matured him. He flashed his beautiful smile and approached.
“It is good to see you, Lady Grace.”
“And you,” I replied, trying not to gush like a schoolgirl.
“Are you visiting for very long?” I sat in an empty chair when everyone returned to their seats, feeling like a fool in their presence.
“My son will be here for some time, but I shall be returning to Luxembourg with Celia in a fortnight.”
His surprising answer caught me off guard, and I turned and looked at Stefan. “What do you mean you are staying?” My heart beat like a drum in my ears over the surprising announcement.
“I have been accepted at the University of Cambridge Medical School,” he announced with an air of pride in his voice.
After realizing my mouth gaped open in astonishment, I sputtered like a fool. “Congrat— Congratulations. What excellent news.”
“He wants to be like father,” Celia announced with a sly grin.
“And what do you think of your brother being a surgeon?” I asked her out of curiosity.
“Oh, I think he will be tolerable, but I’m not sure if I’ve forgiven him for leaving Belgium.” Celia flashed Stefan a disgruntled stare.
“Well, I’m sure he will return after his finishes his studies,” I countered in a calm tone.
“I have made Celia no promises,” Stefan replied.
My eyes shifted in his direction at the hopeful comment. Florence, who had remained quiet watching the interaction, suddenly interjected into the conversation.
“I’ve told Stefan that he is more than welcome to visit Stratton Park. Our home is open to him on the weekends and whenever he has the opportunity for a break between studies.”
Shocked at her announcement, I could barely speak. A lump formed in my throat at the contemplation of Stefan visiting our household on a regular basis. The idea of being in constant proximity to him flushed my face. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. Embarrassed about my reaction, I rose to my feet.
“Please... please excuse me,” I stammered. My eyes avoided everyone as I abruptly left the room, gasping for air. After walking into the foyer, I stood for a minute attempting to catch my breath as my anxiety choked the life out of me. I heard footsteps approach from behind and spun around to see Florence.
“I’ve upset you,” she confessed. Her hand grabbed mine. “I should have told you beforehand they were coming.”
“I’m shocked, frankly, and dislike like the idea of the lieutenant... I mean Stefan, staying here at Stratton Park. It makes me feel uncomfortable at the prospect of a single male being under our roof. What will our acquaintances think?” Florence squeezed my hand and tilted her head, appearing amused at my excuse. In a sympathetic tone, she answered.
“You should know, Grace, you have honored Benedict since his death and proven to me your heart did hold affection for him as your husband. Nevertheless, I’m a practical woman. You are young, the children need a father, and you deserve the chance to love and be loved.”
“Are you insinuating that I’m in love with Stefan?”
“Well, I’m not blind, my dear. You have held him in high regard since the moment he arrived to recuperate in our home.”
Unable to look at Florence in the eyes, I lowered my head in guilt.
“If the young man is determined to study at Cambridge, he is welcome at Stratton Park as far as I’m concerned. If something grows between the two of you, then so be it. If not, it was never meant to be.”
“You sound more like a matchmaker than a mother-in-law,” I quipped. “You lecture me yet you refuse Doctor Reyer’s advances.”
Florence chuckled. “He’s beginning to wear down my resolve. Truthfully, if I knew you were happy and well cared for, I would move to Belgium and be his wife. Celia needs a mothering influence at this precarious age of entering womanhood.”
Instantly I felt guilty her happiness relied upon my ability to rekindle a relationship with Stefan. It made me wonder how much she knew about my former affections. Nevertheless, she stood here before me without condemnation but with encouragement.
“Am I interrupting anything?”
I jolted when I heard Stefan’s voice. He stood a few feet away with a pleasing grin on his face and a twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes.
“Not at all,” Florence replied. “Why don’t the two of you have a nice chat?”
As swiftly as she had arrived to join me in the foyer, Florence disappeared into the parlor. Stefan took two careful steps in my direction and then stopped. The reaction to his nearness sent a warm glow through my body. How could one man elicit such a response while doing absolutely nothing except standing there?
“I see we have stunned you with the news.” He grinned sheepishly.
“Quite,” I replied, trying to control my emotions. “I’m not sure what to think of it all.”
“Think whatever you will, Grace. I am coming to Cambridge to study. That is my prime purpose,” he replied.
“Well, I think it’s wonderful you wish to follow in your father’s footsteps.”
“Before the war, I considered such a career path.”
“You didn’t mention it before.” By all accounts, I had to admit I knew little about Stefan.
“Our time together had quickly passed and under the circumstances...” His grin faded. “Please accept my condolences over the death of your husband.”
The subject of Benedict had entered our midst, resurrecting my guilt from the past. Stefan’s tone convinced me of his sincerity. “Thank you. It was entirely unexpected, you know.”
“Father conveyed to me he had returned from an overdue leave but had suffered emotional distress from duty.”
“He came back for the birth of our daughter,” I clarified, confused over Stefan’s misconception of events.
“Birth of your daughter?” His eyes widened in surprise, and I knew exactly where his mind had taken him.
“Yes, after you both left, I discovered I was with child.” He looked at me with a questioning gaze. “Her name is Amelia, and she looks very much like Benedict’s family.” Stefan’s countenance relaxed as he exhaled a puff of air from between his lips.
“I see.” He bowed his head. “Then I owe you congratulations as well.”
Surprised Doctor Reyer had kept his promise of not telling Stefan, I did not feel compelled to say anything further.
“I have missed you,” I confessed in a lowered voice. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about what transpired...” I hesitated then spoke. “Nor do I regret it.”
Our eyes met again, and he reciprocated his pleasure with a grin. “It was quite the improper dalliance under the circumstances, but I have never pushed the memory away either.”
As we stood there staring at each other with unspoken thoughts, I became uncomfortable leaving the others alone.
“We should get back. It was foolish of me excusing myself so awkwardly.”
“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to talk in the future,” Stefan replied.
“Oh, I’m confident that we will,” I agreed, lifting a teasing grin.
Perhaps I did have a future with the young and handsome Belgian surgeon-to-be. He had stolen my heart as a lieutenant, and I hoped he would reclaim it to bring healing of another sort.
As we walked into the parlor and everyone’s eyes turned to us with noticeable approval, I believed the last piece of the puzzle had arrived to replace the one left empty by Benedict’s death. Whatever final scene it would eventually create, I could only hope it would be one of peace and remain untouched by another war.
The End
Thank you for reading Lady Grace. To learn more about the research behind this story, visit my Ladies of Disgrace Blog for interesting articles and background information.
