ocker 121. I still remember my junior-high locker number all these years later. As much time as I spent inside it, there’s really no way I could forget. It’s not as bad as you’d imagine—being in a locker, I mean—especially if it’s before lunch and you’re stuck in there with a PB & J sandwich and a Dew.
I didn’t go in my locker of my own free will. I was forced in by several punks in my school. And the ringleader of the punkheads was a guy named Eric. Eric and I were enemies. He used to sit behind me in algebra class and thump me on the back of the head. And to this day, if someone pops me upside the head, it quickly brings back memories of 9:00 a.m. algebra, Eric, and headaches.
I often wondered why Eric didn’t like me. That is, until the day he told me it was because I was a Christian. All through junior high and high school, it seemed Eric’s goal in life, other than acting like a complete “donkey,” was to totally ruin six years of my existence. Therefore, you can imagine, when I heard God tell me that he wanted me to talk to Eric about what it meant to be a Christian, I assumed God was mistaken. I remember laughing at first. But he wasn’t joking. God really wanted me to talk about him with Eric.
I intentionally ignored his request for four months. And I was miserable because of it. I knew what God wanted me to do. And I knew I would stay miserable until I did it. So finally I called Eric on the phone, in part because I really enjoyed my nose and didn’t want to lose it if Eric decided to take a swing at me. Having prepared my thoughts long before I made the call, I must say, I gave the speech of my life. And to my surprise, Eric listened. Giving myself a big high-five for a job well done, I then finished by asking if Eric would like to pray to receive Jesus into his life. Eric politely said no. And he hung up the phone.
What? You have got to be kidding, I thought. It wasn’t supposed to work this way. I remember praying to God and saying, I did what you asked me to, and you didn’t come through for me! I put my neck on the line with a guy I can’t even stand to look at, and it didn’t work! I was mad. Mad at God.
Is there someone in your life who doesn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus? Write their name(s) here.
It took me a while, but I learned a lot about my witness through this experience. I learned that as a person being made into the likeness of God, there’s much more to sharing my faith than the outcome. I learned that my witness is an integral part of who I am as a Christian. And every day, regardless of how others respond, I have a responsibility to live out a life of witness.
What if you walked into school this week to find every student and teacher seated in the gymnasium? And what if the principal called you to join him at center court? And then, what if, one by one, every student and teacher in your school walked across the court, grabbed the microphone, and were each given thirty seconds to proclaim to everyone how you’ve witnessed to them with the way you live your life. What would they say? What would you want them to say?
Actions speak louder than words. And people are watching. My life is on display for everyone I come in contact with. My family, my close friends, my co-workers, and my neighbors, the person who scans my groceries at Kroger, the waiter who brings me my plate of catfish and pitcher of iced tea at my favorite Nashville restaurant, the people I sit next to on a plane every time I travel, my daughter’s soccer coach—every day my life impacts the lives of others. And with each encounter, I have the opportunity—the responsibility—to show them there’s something different about me because I’m a follower of Jesus. And often this happens without ever opening my mouth.
The same is true for you. Every day, in every relationship, with every encounter, you have the chance to be Jesus to your world. Most of the time you don’t do it with what you say but with what you do. And for a lot of the people you cross paths with, this could be the only glimpse of God they ever get.
Does the life your non-Christian friends see you live with Jesus differ from the lives they live without him?
Reality TV has proven over and over that people will do crazy things that test their endurance, their faith, and their fears just to get their fifteen minutes of fame.
Would you:
• eat a pizza covered in tomato sauce, cheese, and leeches?
• sing really, really badly and be made fun of by judges on national television?
• drink an ice cream smoothie with bananas, strawberries, and calf brains?
It’s amazing how so many people are willing to set aside their fears in pursuit of things that will bring them temporary satisfaction. Imagine what could happen in your life and the lives of those in your world if you set aside your fears, not just to have a moment on TV and a big cash prize, but to see someone’s life changed forever.
It took me four months of ignoring what God asked me to do before I finally chose to share my faith with Eric. Why? Because I was afraid of what Eric might think about me. I was afraid of what Eric might say to me. I was afraid of what Eric might do to me … like give me another closeup look at the inside of locker 121.
This is exactly how Satan works. He wants to scare you and me into believing that when we speak to others about God, we’ll be ridiculed or picked on. Yes, each of these outcomes is a possibility. But when you choose to let God make you into the woman he desires, look at what the Bible says will happen:
God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us.
(2 Timothy 1:7, CEV)
As you allow God to work in your life, he’ll replace:
your cowardice with courage
your fear with faith
your hesitation with hope
your panic with power
your worry with wonder
As you commit to God’s plan for your life, get ready. Because along with this commitment comes responsibility—the responsibility to share God with others. When you start embracing your true role as a woman of God by fully submitting your life to him, God will call you to do great things for him. There’s no greater privilege in life than sharing the saving message of Jesus with someone else. Sometimes talking to a person about Jesus may seem impossible. But make no mistake, when God calls you to do something:
He’ll never require something of you that’s impossible.
He’ll never require something of you that you have to face alone.
First Corinthians 1:25 says, “Even when God is weak, he is stronger than everyone else” (CEV). Even in God’s weakness (of which he has none, by the way), he’s still stronger than the greatest human strength. When talking with someone about Jesus, remember, you’re not alone. When God asks, he provides:
• the way
• the words
• the courage
• the outcome
the Truth
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
In his final moments on earth before his ascension, Jesus could’ve chosen any number of directives for us. He chose just one. Check it out:
Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18–20, MSG)
Obviously, Jesus thought evangelism was a high priority. Standing atop that mountain, having a conversation with the disciples, Jesus gave a powerful command to those men—and ultimately to each of us. It was a command to go.
I know you might be thinking, Well, I really don’t like to be told what to do. I understand that. I don’t always either. But rather than look at it as a command, consider this: you’ve been given the privilege of sharing the most important, life-changing news with those in your world. That’s really not a command. That’s a gift. And if you don’t talk with your friends about Jesus, who will?
Remember how I said I was mad at God when he told me to witness to my biggest enemy, who then turned me down when I asked him to accept Jesus? Do you think my feelings were justified? I was mad because things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. But here’s the problem—I believed it was my responsibility to save Eric. I was carrying the burden, assuming that it was up to me to change Eric’s life. And since this didn’t happen in the one phone call with him, I thought I’d failed. And when I felt inadequate, I looked for someone to blame. And I blamed God.
In the months that followed, God started to show me it wasn’t my responsibility to change Eric, or anyone else for that matter. Because I can’t. Only God can do that. God helped me understand that he didn’t tell me to go save Eric. He just told me to go.
If you know someone in your life who’s not a believer and you haven’t talked with them about it, what’s keeping you from doing it now?
If you knew that every time you talked to someone about Jesus they would accept him as their personal Savior, would you tell more people about him?
I’m pretty confident your answer would be yes. Why is that? Because you wouldn’t have to be afraid of failing or looking stupid. God helped me understand that choosing to talk with someone about him isn’t about success or failure. You need to know that if God has laid it on your heart to share his message with someone, then he already has it worked out. Regardless of the immediate outcome, obedience is all that’s required of you. You can’t control someone’s response. All you can control is your obedience.
Conversation Starters
• Do you believe there is a God?
• I’d like to tell you how I started a personal relationship with God.
• We’re having a youth event at our church. Would you like to come?
• We’ve been friends for a while, and I’ve never talked to you about the most important thing in my life. Can I tell you now?
• How do you think someone becomes a Christian?
• What do you think it takes to get into heaven?
• If you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity?
I know someone who’s in hell today. At least I think he is. I met this man when I was in college. He told me he didn’t believe in God, and he didn’t want a relationship with him. He was an alcoholic, and several years later he died a miserable death from a failed liver.
Do you know someone who’s not a believer? Have you talked with them about Jesus? Let me be brutally honest for a minute. What I’m about to say won’t be easy to read, but this is the real deal: if you know someone who’s not a believer, and you choose not to share the saving message of Jesus with them, then it’s as if you’re saying to them, “Go to hell!”
I know you’re probably thinking, That’s pretty harsh, Jeffrey. You’re right. It is harsh. It’s also true. If we don’t care enough about the people in our lives to share Jesus with them, then we don’t care enough to see that they spend eternity with God in heaven. Simply put, we don’t care for them enough to try to keep them out of hell.
As you begin to see your interactions with people as opportunities to save them from hell, you’ll start to grasp the urgency before you, as a woman on a mission to help change the world. You don’t have to stand on a stage to be used in this way. You don’t have to write a book, be an American Idol, or do stupid stuff on MTV like Johnny Knoxville in order to have a voice. You just have to understand your mission as a follower of Jesus. This mission isn’t about your personal success, popularity, or wealth. It’s about your willingness to be used by God to help people step from death to life. It’s about saying, “I will go.”
the Truth
It’s urgent that you listen carefully to this: Anyone here who believes what I am saying right now and aligns himself with the Father … has at this very moment the real, lasting life and is no longer condemned to be an outsider. This person has taken a giant step from the world of the dead to the world of the living. (John 5:24, MSG)
There will be many memorable moments in the story of your life. Your first date. Your first kiss. Your first zit. But the greatest moment of the story is the moment you stepped from death to life, from sinner to forgiven, from condemned to transformed. Not only did this moment change you, it can also be a story used to change others, if you’ll let it.
The Bible tells us, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15).
Sharing the message of salvation with others isn’t rocket science. It’s just about being real, being genuine, and being you. You have an incredible story to tell. You have to realize this is true. And you also have to realize you could be the only light in a friend’s life.
I hear you. But there will always be things we don’t know. I’ve been doing this ministry stuff for a long time, and there are still things about the Bible I don’t know. Besides, it isn’t about having full knowledge of Scripture. It’s about sharing what you do know. And what you do know is what God has done for you in your own life. Of course, the more Scripture you know, the better prepared you are. John 3:16 is a great verse. So are Romans 10:9 and Romans 10:13. Plus, you’ll also find some help in answering a few of the really big questions in the next section of this chapter. But if someone asks you a question you just don’t know the answer to, be honest about your lack of knowledge. Tell your friend that you’ll find an answer for them. And then stick to your word. Go talk with a parent or pastor, or go to www.jeffreydean.com and e-mail me. Get an answer to your friend’s question, and then go back and share it with them.
The more you let God change you, the more people will notice a change in you, especially your unsaved friends. They’ll see God’s character in you. They may notice how you treat others or that you pray before eating lunch at school. Be ready. God will use these moments to bring people to you to share his truth with them. Today you’ll most likely come in contact with someone who’s not a Christian. Will you be ready?
When you’re witnessing, you have to expect some tough questions. Nonbelievers will see you as a representative of Christianity, and they may want you to explain your stance on some of the controversial topics Christians are involved in. You need to be prepared for questions like these. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers to everything (and if you don’t know the answer, don’t just make something up), but knowing what God’s Word says about a few of the big ones will help you be a more effective witness.
This is a tough one. It’s not so much that the answer is hard to find—there’s scripture that states clearly that it’s wrong:
God let them follow their own evil desires. Women no longer wanted to have sex in a natural way, and they did things with each other that were not natural. Men behaved in the same way. They stopped wanting to have sex with women and had strong desires for sex with other men. They did shameful things with each other, and what has happened to them is punishment for their foolish deeds. (Romans 1:26–27, CEV)
It’s tough because homosexuality is more accepted in our society now, and saying that it’s wrong can make you seem intolerant. And if people think you’re intolerant, they’re less likely to listen to what you have to say. But you also can’t ignore what God’s Word says. There’s no easy way to handle this. You’ll meet people who believe that homosexuals are born with same-sex attraction and that they didn’t choose to be gay. You have to know that God didn’t create anyone to be homosexual. It’s a sin, and it’s not part of God’s plan. Saying that to someone, however, is not as easy as me writing it in this book.
The best thing to do is remember that you’re not anyone’s judge. Only God can do that. This will help you be more humble when you share parts of God’s Word that aren’t so welcome to some people. All you can do when you’re faced with issues like homosexuality is let people know what the Bible says—and also let them know that you love them. It may seem impossible to do both at the same time, but God’s got a knack for making the impossible possible. All you have to do is ask for his help.
If you know someone who’s struggling with homosexuality (it might even be you), and they’re not sure what to do about those feelings, you need to let them know they’re not alone. Be someone they can talk to. Then tell them they should also talk …
With God: Let them know that God loves them completely. Their struggle is no surprise to him, and he wants to help them break free of it. They should talk to him and ask for strength and guidance.
With Someone Who Will Help: Help them find someone they can trust who will be both honest and kind. Maybe your pastor or youth director or a parent or teacher you know well.
It’s important to know that giving in to homosexuality is no more or less wrong than cheating on a test or running a red light. Sin is sin, no matter what sin it is. And God is big enough to handle it and help anyone through it.
Not all religions are the same. Some worship false gods. Some believe in God but don’t believe that Jesus is his Son. Some believe Jesus was a real person but don’t accept the fact that he died for us on the cross and was resurrected from the dead. Some religions don’t believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God.
Christianity accepts God as the only God and believes that Jesus is the Son of God, who came to earth, died for humankind, and conquered death by coming back to life and proving that he is the one true Savior of the world. We believe the Bible is God’s Word and the ultimate authority for everything we do. To be a Christian means “one is a follower of Christ.”
Christianity is based on a person’s willingness to believe in and choose to live for Jesus. Christians believe that faith in Jesus is the only way to get to heaven. You can’t just be a “good person” or just do “good deeds” (though if you believe in Jesus, you will want to do those things, of course). There’s only one path to eternal life, and it’s through Jesus. John 14:6 says, “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ ”
“Life’s not fair,” Jared said in a recent letter to me. “My dad is gone, my mom is depressed, school sucks, and I’m sick of it. I try to do what is right, but nothing seems to go my way!” Can you relate? I know I can. There’ve been many times in my life when I’ve had questions about why life can be so unfair. You’ll probably ask this a lot too. And you’ll most likely have other people ask you this question when they find out you’re a Christian.
God has given us a great gift—a gift that people misuse all the time. He’s given you and me the free will to live as we please. And because we have the ability to choose, we can often choose the wrong things. So why did God give us the freedom of choice if he knew we could abuse it? God didn’t create clones (and aren’t you glad he didn’t?). He loves us and wants us to love him in return. However, true love can’t be forced or manipulated. So since God wanted real love from us, he had to give us the ability to choose. So we can choose to love him … or not love him. And that means we have the freedom to choose to do wrong. Because there’s wrong in the world, many bad things happen to people who don’t deserve them.
Second (this isn’t the easy part to hear), there will be times in life when you have questions you may never have answers for. We’ll never fully understand why God does all that he does and allows all that he allows until we reach heaven. The Bible says:
For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 2:11)
As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things. (Ecclesiastes 11:5)
Maybe your mom or dad has left your family or you’ve lost a loved one or you’ve been mistreated, abused, or abandoned by someone close to you. When you can’t find a good reason for why such things happen, remember that God fully understands your pain. He suffered the greatest injustice of all time: allowing his perfect Son, Jesus, to be arrested, beaten, whipped, spit on, cursed at, and then nailed to a cross to die. He never deserved such treatment. But he did it for you—for all of us.
Remember, whether you’re in your rock-star moment or kissing the asphalt of life, God is always on your side. Even when answers to life’s troubles are hard (or even impossible) to find, God says, “I will always be with you and help you” (Joshua 1:5, CEV).
Talking with Eric about Jesus didn’t produce the results I wanted overnight. But God used my willingness to tell Eric my story as a first step in Eric’s journey. Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to bring a friend to Jesus. Other times, a lifetime of prayer and patience will be needed. Just as God has never given up on you, don’t you give up on anyone.
pray it
If you’re serious about reaching those in your world with the message of Jesus, God will take your request very seriously. Pray that:
• God will give you the opportunity
• God will give you the boldness
• God will give you the words
Everyone you know has one thing in common: they all will go to either heaven or hell. Let God use you to bring those in your life to him. There truly is no greater privilege. Believe me, I know. A year after graduation, Eric found me and told me he had found Jesus. He thanked me for not giving up on him.
• Who God is to you
• What you believe about God
• What God did for you
• How God changed you
• Do you believe in God?
• What do you believe about God?
• What confuses you the most about God?
• Do you know what it means to ask God into your life? Do you want to ask him to be in your life now?
• “God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die.” (John 3:16, CEV)
the point: God loved you enough to let his Son die for you. Even though you’re not perfect, he sacrificed his Son in your place so you could still spend eternity with him.
• “All of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.” (Romans 3:23, CEV)
the point: We’re all sinners. Which means all of us need God’s help to get into heaven.
• “Sin pays off with death. But God’s gift is eternal life given by Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23, CEV)
the point: Since we’re all sinners, we don’t deserve to go to heaven. But Jesus died in our place and came back to life. He now offers us a gift of eternal life rather than death.
• “But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful.” (Romans 5:8, CEV)
the point: You are so loved by God that he let his Son die in your place, so that you wouldn’t have to spend eternity in hell separated from God.
• “So you will be saved, if you honestly say, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and if you believe with all your heart that God raised him from death. God will accept you and save you, if you truly believe this and tell it to others.” (Romans 10:9–10, CEV)
the point: If you believe that Jesus died for you and came back to life, and you ask him to save you, he will.
The more you choose to talk with others about Jesus, the easier it’ll become. If there’s someone in your life who you know needs him, what will you do about it?
Write a prayer asking God to give you the courage to talk with others about him.
Write the names of these people as a reminder to pray for them and commit to talk to them about God.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
