It is illegal to poke a stooge in the eye. Falling to the floor and running in a sideways circle is prohibited. There will be no hair-pulling in the common room. Please do not bring pliers into these premises. It is forbidden, while running on the spot, super-fast, to exhale steam from the nostrils. There will be absolutely no pulling out of chunks of hair. No excoriating the eyes. It is wrong to punch the lungs out. Anyone caught laughing at violent acts will be expelled. Until further notice, all pies are strictly forbidden in the cafeteria area. It is a crime to seat a stooge in a catapult. A stooge may not give final unction. No electrocuting stooges. Anyone caught hanging a stooge will be suspended.