Saddam demands the U.S. turn over Elvis Presley. The U.S. says “No, we couldn’t, even if we wanted to. Elvis is no more. Elvis died.” But the Iraqis claim they have numerous reports from defectors. It is well known — Elvis has been seen at supermarkets. Not just Elvis, but numerous Elvises. A proliferation of Elvises, unstable, explosive. If Elvis is unleashed again the effect on the masses will be destructive. They demand the turn-over of Elvis or they will attack. It is asserted repeatedly that Elvis died of a heart attack on August i6th, 1977. The U.S. provides documents: death certificates, coroners’ reports, photos, but they are disbelieved, mocked as forgeries. The United Nations confirms there has been absolutely no sign of the living Elvis for years. Reports of there being a still-living Elvis are considered to be mass fantasies thought up by freaks. Wouldn’t he have told his own daughter, Lisa Marie? They send a team to look for Elvis. They interview Sam Phillips. Still no Elvis. But, they say, that’s just because people are afraid to tell them where Elvis is. Finally, despite world protest, the Iraqi army comes up from Mexico, immediately securing the Texas oil fields. They quickly conquer America, but when the dust settles neither Elvis nor Bush is anywhere to be found. The American people are very thirsty; their water supply has been shut off by the war. Their children have been murdered. It’s reported that Iraq deliberately lied about Elvis being alive. “It wasn’t just about Elvis, anyway,” says Saddam. “George Bush was evil. He was never democratically elected. He executed more people in the state of Texas than all the other states combined.” They leak stories about the Nazi past of Bush’s ancestry. Everybody agrees that America does seem a lot more relaxed now that Bush is gone. Anyway, the capture of Elvis is considered imminent. There is a report that Elvis is likely in Canada. Canada denies having Elvis. Iraq warns Canada that they will treat harbouring Elvis as an act of war. Saddam makes a big speech, saying that the U.S.A., Canada, and Britain are part of an “Axis of Elvis.”