Chapter Six

Izzy sat on her sister’s bed, fighting off a wave of panic as Gaby pulled another colorful shirt from her closet. “Please don’t go,” Izzy begged, not caring one bit that she acted like a spoiled brat and not someone’s mother.

“You know I have to go. Big birthday celebration with Levi’s family,” Gaby signed and spoke. “They’ve got way too many people born the same month.”

Izzy turned her attention to the room, needing a distraction from the mounting fears that she couldn’t possibly do this parenting thing on her own. Dark wood furniture occupied much of the space, bold and masculine and very much from before Gaby had moved in. Her sister had added her own touches with a new multicolored bedspread, pillows, and accent pieces, filling the room with color she’d seen Levi refer to as “that Gaby touch,” proving how much he loved her sister.

“I’m scared,” she said softly, no signs, half hoping her sister didn’t hear her.

No such luck. The bed dipped beside her and she ended up engulfed in Gaby’s arms. “You’ve got this. It’s only a week. You’ve done weekends before.”

Izzy nodded into Gaby’s shoulder. “But I haven’t found anyone trustworthy to watch Archie. I’ll have to ask to bring him with me or get time off from work, and I just started.”

Gaby pulled back and rubbed her shoulder. “Have Nolan help.”

“He’s got two weeks on me, he doesn’t have time, either.”

Gaby shook her head and returned to her closet. “I mean, you can figure it out together. Archie is his son.”

Izzy ignored that comment. Giving Nolan time meant not springing childcare issues on him before he was ready. “I know you two are thinking of getting married in Maine, and I know I said I’d move out before you did, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen.” Izzy really did want to move out before her sister got married, give the newlyweds their privacy and space. But even with her new job she didn’t know when or how she’d be able to afford living on her own.

Gaby tossed a shirt on the bed and joined her sister. “You know you are welcome here as long as you want.”

Izzy nodded, but renewed determination lit her spine. She’d figure something out. She always had.

Movement by the door caused her to look up. Levi stood there, eyebrows lowered, studying them. “Everything O.K.?” he signed.

Gaby stood. “We’re fine.”

“We have a small problem.”

Izzy didn’t miss that Levi had his gaze on her more than Gaby. “What’s wrong?”

“The kitchen upgrade I promised Gaby had a cancellation and can start next week.” He scrunched his face. “Fine for Gaby and me, since we’ll be in Maine, but…”

Izzy sighed. “You’re leaving me here alone with a baby and no kitchen.”

Levi cringed. “Sorry.”

“Maybe we need to stay and help out. We can’t leave Izzy alone without a kitchen,” Gaby said.

Izzy waved them both off. She was a fighter, it wasn’t that long ago that she made her meals with a dorm-sized fridge and microwave. “I’ll figure something out. As long as your freezer stays plugged in with all my breastmilk in it.” Crying over spilled milk was one thing, crying over destroyed frozen milk called for a toddler-sized meltdown.

“I’ll make a note of that and tell the contractors.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make things more difficult for you.” Gaby should be happy about her kitchen, not worried over Izzy.

Izzy pulled her sister into a hug. “You already do so much for me. I’ll survive. I always have.” She wasn’t sure how, but she could switch to store-bought food for Archie for a week and do takeout.

“O.K. then. I’m getting my kitchen upgrade.” Gaby did a little happy dance before wrapping her arms around her fiancé, kissing him deeply. They were perfect for each other, so completely in love, and Izzy didn’t know if she’d ever have that. At least in a romantic sense. She loved Archie to the moon and back, but relationships were exponentially harder now that he was involved.

Izzy slipped out of the room, heading back to hers to check on her sleeping baby. He lay on his back, one hand over his head as he often did. Love sprouted inside her, and she’d always cherish that. Sure, she wanted more, but she had him, and she’d make that enough.

Then he farted and broke the spell.

…

A week had passed since Nolan met Izzy again, a week since he’d learned he had a son. Too long, he knew it, but necessary to let this new reality settle into place. The whole situation felt new and unsteady, but he was done being a coward. Today was the day. He’d talk to Izzy, maybe at the coffee shop again, and figure out what she needed. Money, childcare, support, he didn’t know the first thing about babies and kids and what it all would entail. Didn’t matter. She’d done it all on her own until now, the least he could do was try.

Until then, he had work to do and a project he had to get up and running. A whole series of vlogs for the website to usher the agency into the current level of virtual accessibility. ASL was a visual language, and not all of the community read written English with ease. The agency served the community and the community needed their online information to be in a visual, three-dimensional form that made it accessible. Nolan needed to get the videos filmed and edited, plus add in captions and voice-overs to include all communication styles. The first of which would be debuted at the upcoming board meeting. For the life of him he didn’t know why it took this long for his job to be created. Funding in nonprofits was often a struggle, and the less computer-savvy staff did the best they could with the time they had. Now that he was here, he’d be able to help them better reach the community and showcase the services they provided.

He checked back over the social media accounts, his overactive brain juggling multitasking like a champ. The first two accounts had been quiet, and he clicked over to the third. A few inquiries had come in while he’d been out to lunch and he checked them over. He stopped short at Izzy’s response to a workshop, with the wrong date and time.

A horrible flashback to his previous job played in technicolor in his mind; he knew far too well how one tiny mistake could snowball into a colossal error of epic proportions. The issues weren’t the same, not even close, but for a fleeting moment he’d lost control, again.

Nolan quickly posted an update, and included a link to the calendar for more details. A few minutes later a “thank you” popped up, and he relaxed. Crisis avoided. He scanned over the rest, mind now focused on the task at hand, noting no other mix-ups. Good.

Mistakes happened. A simple double check usually prevented them. He didn’t want to be that supervisor who got on his coworkers’ case for every little thing, but the social media rested on his shoulders, and he didn’t need anyone’s help messing things up.

He left his desk and headed toward the central area where Izzy worked, his past as a screw-up breathing down his neck. Not her fault, he reminded himself and tried to stay calm. A light talk could settle most things. Would settle this. No need to go in with guns blazing like in an action-packed fighting game. This was more of the lighthearted puzzle sort. Pep talk solidified, he rounded the corner and stopped short at the sight she created: her hair hung in a messy ponytail, dark circles swirled under her eyes, and her face read “Caution, trespassers get shot.” Probably why no one else sat in the area.

She pulled her phone from her ear, stabbing at it with her finger, a scowl on her face that he didn’t think had anything to do with his presence.

He approached slowly, having never seen her like this. Screw fighting game or light puzzle, this was the interpersonal relationships game, and one wrong move would cause the whole thing to implode.

Before he could sign or gain her attention, her hands moved. “Yes, I know I had the wrong date, I saw your update. I’m sorry, I had two events mixed up.” She met his eyes, steel lining them, but he caught the vulnerability shining through. Something was wrong. And out of the million and one things that could have Izzy messing up, he narrowed in on one single thought and couldn’t let go.

“The baby O.K.?” A strange and new panic bubbled up inside him, even though rationality said she wouldn’t be here if Archie were hurt.

A tight smile crossed her face. “Archie is fine.” She used a simple name sign for the boy, a shaking A. Nolan didn’t know if it was something she’d set up with her sister’s Deaf fiancé or a placeholder. Either way, it thankfully wasn’t a rocket.

Izzy leaned back and shook out her hands. “My sister and Levi are going on vacation next week, and I can’t find childcare I trust. I just spoke with one and even if they had availability, I can’t afford it. I’m going to need to take the week off or something.” Her hands fumbled. “I know, I haven’t been here long but…my son comes first.”

Her son. He didn’t know why that crawled under his skin and itched like a motherfucker. Her son. He didn’t have a leg to stand on; all he’d done was provide half the genetics.

But there sat Izzy, frazzled beyond anything he’d seen before as she tried to juggle her job and their son. He’d wanted to talk after work, but the opportunity sat there in front of him, tingled on the tips of his fingers. Izzy needed him. His son needed him, and he’d be damned if he let more precious time fade away. Regardless of his position in their lives, this wasn’t on her shoulders. Not alone. Not anymore. “Bring him here. He can stay in my office.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Here?”

“Yes, here. I’ll talk with Deanna.” He’d seen Madisyn at the front desk often enough, surely a baby wouldn’t be that much of a problem.

“And what? Sleep? He’s nine months old, he’s active and going to need attention.”

Nolan hadn’t had a clue, but he refused to back down. “We can figure it out together.”

Izzy’s gaze traveled the perimeter, and Nolan followed it, finding no one else there, just the two of them. “And that isn’t a problem for our jobs?”

He scratched his head. The no-dating policy made no mention of past relationships, or past interpersonal connections. Treading carefully would be best for both of them, but as long as they didn’t start dating again, he’d make sure it wasn’t a problem. “No one else has to know. You’re working mostly with me; it makes sense for me to help.” It made sense because he was the one responsible for the kid and he hated himself for letting the job be his buffer. “Please, let me help. I’ll talk with Deanna.”

“No, that wouldn’t make sense. I’ll talk with her.” Her shoulders didn’t relax and his intuition claimed it didn’t have anything to do with Deanna. Challenge not complete.

“What else is wrong?”

She froze, her shoulders tightening. “I’ve never been alone with him for a week. I’m used to having Gaby and Levi for support. And, as if that isn’t enough, the kitchen is being upgraded so I’m going to be largely without a kitchen and dealing with who knows what sounds while a hearing baby is trying to sleep.”

In a moment of disconnect from his brain to anything resembling rational thought, Nolan signed, “So come live with me for the week.”