Chapter Ten

Nolan stood by his coffeemaker Monday morning, wishing the slow drip of coffee would hurry the hell up. Not because he was short on time, not exactly, but his entire morning routine had been destroyed, and he needed caffeine to handle it all. His usual morning involved exercise, then taking a shower, and grabbing a quick breakfast on the way to work. This all became impossible, because he didn’t dare do a relaxed morning while Izzy bustled around getting herself and Archie ready.

For a tiny human, he created a lot more work.

So Nolan stood, gaining his bearings, as Izzy held Archie on her hip and pulled out a small yogurt container. He figured that would be her breakfast, but then she set Archie into his chair and began spooning the food into his eager mouth.

Nolan got his coffee, added a splash of cream, and sipped, trying like hell to wake up. Two sips later he realized Izzy’s hair hung in damp strands around her face, her body wrapped in a pink robe, and a scent of some flowery body wash competing with the smell of coffee.

She’d showered already. Which meant he had less competition for the bathroom. But that brought thoughts of her naked, under the running water, and he grew impossibly hard. And now when he did shower, all he’d be able to think of was the woman who’d been in there and had left some of her scent behind.

Mind out of the gutter, Holtzman. He needed to put these erotic thoughts on pause, or disable the program altogether, otherwise he’d make a fool of himself right there in his kitchen. He focused on Izzy’s face, and some of his lust Control-Alt-Deleted away. With her face free of makeup, the dark circles under her eyes appeared more prominent. He had the urge to walk over and run his thumb along the deep coloring, as though that simple action would do a damn thing. Concern replaced his previously scheduled program, only he hadn’t a clue which actions he needed to make a difference. At a loss, he held up a fresh coffee pod. “Want?”

Izzy’s eyes lit up, as though he offered a secret game bonus round equivalent, and not a measly little hit of caffeine. “Please.”

He plucked out the used pod and popped in a fresh one, pressing the buttons to brew. Izzy’s tiredness lingered in a thick fog around her, accentuated by a yawn, and it kicked him square in the gut. He should have done something to be more involved and prevent that yawn. That urge, that need, wanted to consume him, but he hadn’t the foggiest idea how or what he might do. He’d created this mess. And he felt utterly helpless.

He got some cream at Izzy’s request, then found some sugar and placed the steaming mug in front of her. She sipped one-handed, the other still feeding Archie, multitasking in the way of mothers everywhere. Nolan would have spilled one, or both, and probably got a few burns in the process.

Clueless on how to help, he needed to get his own ass ready for the day. “I’m going to shower and then I can help until we’re ready to drive over.”

Izzy shook her head, and put down her mug. “I’m fine. And we should drive separately.”

“Why?” They were going to the same damn place.

She leveled him with a stare and put down the yogurt, much to a banging Archie’s protests. “Does work know we have a kid together?”

Nolan shifted on his bare feet. Shook his head.

“That’s why. We’re new. I don’t want to lose my job. I suspect you feel the same.”

“Right.” Why hadn’t he thought of that? Because his routine was off and Izzy’s bathrobe had parted, giving him a glimpse of cleavage he desperately wanted to explore. Nolan backed out, unsure why the whole conversation felt…off. The need to change things stirred deep inside. He didn’t want to hide, but he also needed to make sure he took care of Izzy.

With the water streaming down his back and the coffee finally doing its magic in his system, a horrible realization hit Nolan: he’d never talked with Deanna about his involvement in Archie’s care. Izzy had discussed her part, and Izzy watching her son made sense. But Nolan, he had no reason to be helping out, not to the extent he planned, and that stung. With the damn no-dating policy he couldn’t risk the ramifications of revealing his paternity. The thought stung, but he squashed it. He’d fix it, somehow.

He finished showering, then helped Izzy with a few small things before heading into work. Alone. Once there, he chased down Deanna and caught up with her in the small kitchen, watching the coffee brew. “I was looking for you,” he signed after he caught her attention.

She held a finger to her mouth. “Not before coffee.”

“You can have some at home.” Would taste better, too.

She smiled as she filled a blue mug. “I like my sleep too much.” A white packet of sugar later, she took a sip and faced him. “What’s up?”

Nolan’s hands froze and fumbled over what to say. Simple, start simple. And vague. He shook them out and pushed forward. “You know Izzy has childcare issues this week. I’ve offered to help. Just a heads-up there will be a baby in my office for the week.”

“That’s sweet of you to help.”

Relief flooded him. Crisis avoided. Two gold stars for the day. He got why Shanice brought her daughter in as necessary, not even an inkling of an issue from Deanna.

“You know anything about babies?” She smirked.

“Not really.” Beyond how to create them.

She laughed and patted his shoulder. “Let me know if you need any help; I can pitch in as needed. My kids are teenagers now, so I could use a little baby snuggling.” Then she took her cup and left the room. Nolan’s feet remained rooted to the spot. He disliked keeping his true intentions a secret, even more with the realization he’d have to keep this fake persona of a guy helping out to be nice, not as a father stepping up. For as long as they both worked here, Archie couldn’t be his son.

…

Izzy had never been so grateful for morning naps in her life. Her kid’s, not hers. She sat at her desk, scrolling through the different social media accounts, while a baby wrap held a sleeping Archie against her chest. Her heart burst a bit at the closeness. She’d love a job like this, where she could work from home and keep him close.

She also knew the toddler years were ahead of her, and she’d soon relish the breaks.

Lisa walked into the area, then came over and propped a hip on Izzy’s desk, eyes on Archie. She’d largely ignored Izzy up until now, so the behavior had Izzy taking notice. “You shouldn’t have a kid here.”

Izzy pressed a hand onto Archie’s back, holding him close and signing with the other hand. “He won’t bother you. It’s just for a week, because I have childcare issues.”

Lisa’s gaze landed on the sleeping baby. Izzy was used to people melting and cooing when they saw Archie. Lisa was the one person she couldn’t read. “All I know is that if I had gotten the job, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh?” What could Izzy say to that? Izzy hadn’t known Lisa had tried for this position. It wasn’t her fault that Lisa didn’t get it. Izzy wondered if that was the only problem or if she gave Shanice this type of crap, too.

Lisa leaned forward, a gleam in her eyes Izzy didn’t trust. “I also caught Nolan talking to Deanna. I know he’s the hot new guy, but you do know that nothing can happen, right? The agency frowns on staff dating. You’re going to have to find a new baby daddy somewhere else.”

Hard to when he’s already the baby’s daddy. “I’m aware of the policy. He’s helping out, since I’m working primarily with him. If you have a problem, go talk to Deanna.” The person who approved Archie being here in the first place.

“Maybe I’m coming off wrong. I’m only trying to help out, since you’re new. And I’ve seen the way you look at him.” She tapped the desk and then moved back to her own, ending the conversation.

Izzy switched her attention to her screen, moving her mouse around absently. In what way did she look at Nolan? The question hadn’t been paternity related, yet a flicker of worry drummed up Izzy’s spine. She’d read the fraternization clause—twice—it made no mention of pre-employment relationships. As long as they kept things in the past, she’d hold out hope it would be a nonissue. And if that meant curtailing her awakening libido around the man, she’d find a way to survive.

A new email notification popped up and she clicked to open the message from Nolan.

Do you think you can provide voiceovers? Or have a better idea? I want to get these videos as accessible as possible.

The videos Nolan worked on were a bit of genius. ASL was a visual language, and their current website had everything in written English. Nolan’s vision would bring some of that information from 2D to 3D and help ensure accurate communication passed through. The idea was a great one and much needed, and she had a little thrill of excitement at being a part of this. It worked right into her communication major, one of three she graduated with, thanks to her jumping around from field to field.

I can help. I even took a voice acting class in college, but 1) do you really want a female voicing for you? And 2) not with Archie sleeping against me.

She rocked Archie as she waited for the response, trying to imagine Nolan with a female voice. She’d heard only a few noises from him, not much to go on, but his looks would have gone well with a deep, booming voice, the kind that skittered across skin and made panties damp…

And she managed to turn herself on by imagining sound. She wrapped a hand around Archie, hoping the result of the last time she had sex would calm her down.

It didn’t.

A new email came in and she checked Nolan’s response.

1) I don’t care what it sounds like, as long as it’s understandable. 2) I can hold Archie.

Warmth spread through her, and even though it shouldn’t have, it turned her on even more. Which was ridiculous. He was Archie’s father, he should hold him. Who cared if it was so she could work? Okay, she cared. She knew enough about men to know some would wait for the kid to be awake, or insist they be put down on the floor somewhere.

Not Nolan.

Izzy carefully pushed back her chair and with one hand on Archie, the other on her desk, rose to a standing position. Lisa shot her a look, as though moving chairs and creaking floorboards wasn’t all the rage in this building. Baby continued to sleep. Good.

She headed to Nolan’s office and found him fiddling with a tripod facing a blank wall. He turned around and their eyes locked, heat simmering between them. She tightened her grip on their baby, but nothing less than a cold shower would do the trick now.

Nolan stepped toward them, eyes drifting down to Archie. “He’s cute asleep.”

She dropped her gaze and pressed her lips to an upturned cheek. “He’s always cute.” She rubbed her hands together, more to stifle her awakened sexual state than anything else. “Do you have a script for me? I should be able to follow your signs, but my English word choices will be weak.”

Nolan moved over to his desk and she did not follow the way his crisp jeans cupped his ass, that would be bad, even if guiding her eyes above waist level proved to be a challenge. He tapped a piece of paper and she managed to focus on his chest—short-sleeved dark-gray button-down pulled tight over his chest, another reminder that he’d filled out since they first met—and handed it over.

Izzy scanned the page, hoping she could calm down and the lust she couldn’t extinguish wouldn’t be dripping from her vocal cords. Although, with Nolan signing, who could blame her? She held up a thumb, glad it didn’t shake. “Ready?”

He let out a breath and nodded. He tested the equipment again and then faced her. “I guess I’ll take Archie.”

He seemed nervous, and Izzy realized it probably had nothing to do with any of her thoughts. It had to be the baby. She didn’t have time to ponder or worry. Work had to be done, and she wasn’t going to be able to speak clearly while holding a kid and fearing she’d wake him.

She slid a hand underneath the fabric sling to hold Archie while reaching to the side to undo the knot. It took a minute, but she got it loose and unraveled the fabric. Archie remained snuggled against her and she handed the fabric over to a wide-eyed Nolan.

“How did you do that?” he asked before taking the fabric from her.

She swallowed a laugh. “Practice since before he was born. I’ll show you.” Only now she wondered how she’d manage to do that one-handed. As it was she felt awkward, as though her signs made even less sense than normal. “First, find the center.”

Nolan folded the fabric in half, and found the center. So far so good. But he held it up to the side, not in front of him. She bit her lip, trying to figure this out; she’d done it only with Gaby before. “Hold open in front of you.” Crap, her ASL wasn’t meant for this, not one-handed, at least. She needed to go find a video tutorial for them both.

But he followed her. She started to sign cross, but with one hand it wasn’t going to be clear, so she resorted to fingerspelling. “C-R-O-S-S in back.” Or at least, that’s what she tried to communicate.

Nolan turned around.

Izzy stomped then glanced at Archie, but the kid didn’t wake, spared from witnessing how unprepared for life his parents were. “C-R-O-S-S the F-A-B-R-I-C behind you.”

His eyebrows lowered and he moved the fabric to his back.

Izzy dropped her head. “No. I’m sorry, I’m not being clear. Front, then back.”

Nolan nodded and, miracles of miracles, he held the fabric in front and crossed it behind him. Izzy gestured for him to pull it over his shoulders, and he did so.

Somehow they made it through the next few steps, getting the wrap tied and set up. A little shaky, but should be sturdy enough to hold. “Now what?” Nolan asked.

Izzy bounced Archie. “Now I give him to you.”

Nolan glanced down at the fabric wrapped around his body. “How?”

Izzy moved forward and pulled out the top part of the fabric to make room for Archie. Her fingers brushed Nolan’s chest, and even that slight touch sent heat racing through her. She forced it aside and transferred Archie until he lay snuggled against his father’s dress shirt.

The baby remained sleeping, and Izzy’s hormones went into overdrive seeing the paternal sight before her. She quickly fixed the fabric, bringing it up and over Archie, and adjusted the straps to keep him snug. And even though she tried not to, her hands kept brushing Nolan and she wanted to be the one strapped to him.

Did they make adult-sized baby wraps?

No, stop it, mind out of the gutter. At work he wasn’t her baby’s father, he was her superior, and she’d do best to act like it.

Izzy stepped back and Nolan’s hands went to the baby, as if not trusting the wrap. He looked down, a note of wonder on his face. “He’s still asleep.”

“Yeah, he saves his short naps for nighttime.”

Nolan frowned, but Izzy looked around. “Where’s the microphone? I can watch the video and add the voice.”

“I haven’t filmed it yet. I figured I’d sign and you can speak live.”

She put her hands on her hips and focused on taking a deep breath. “You’re going to film yourself while wearing a baby?”

Nolan’s gaze flickered down and he scratched his head. “I didn’t think this one through.”

Izzy shook her head. “Nope.”

The office lights flickered and they turned to the door, where Deanna stood. “Not fair, he gets extra baby time.” She playfully stuck out her lower lip. At least someone didn’t have a problem with the baby, and this was someone a hell of a lot more important than an intern.

Still, Izzy straightened, doing her best not to react to how Nolan fit into her little family. Or how it seemed too obvious to her they were related. The last thing she needed was for Nolan’s paternity to be discovered. Instead, she focused on the opportunity Deanna presented. “Do you mind doing me a favor? We need to film a video, but…” Her hands trailed off as she gestured to Archie.

Deanna’s hands were outstretched before Izzy could explain. “Gimme.”

Nolan watched them, then turned to the baby. “How do I get him out?”

Izzy chuckled and moved over, removing the straps and tension, until she was able to switch Archie back to her chest. Deanna swooped in and cuddled him close, the way one familiar with babies did.

She breathed him in. “Oh, I miss this. Go, take care of the video. We’ll be fine.” Then she walked out of the room. Izzy wanted to follow, ensure everything was okay. She liked her coworkers, most of them at least, and felt safe here, but Archie was her son and the closest to a stranger she’d had hold him was Nolan.

Still a stranger, just a blood-related one.

She hadn’t realized how affected she was until a hand on her shoulder forced her to calm down. She faced Nolan. “He’ll be fine. Deanna has kids, and she’s a sweetheart.”

Izzy nodded, tamping down her worries.

Nolan moved over to the wall, catching her eyes. “Ready?”

She took in the loose fabric draping his chest. “I think you need to take care of that first.”

He glanced down and his shoulder shook. “True.” He looked one way, then the other. “How do I get out of this?”

Izzy chuckled as she crossed the distance between them. She undid the fabric and unwound him. It should have been a simple act. But now she was close to him, no baby in the way, and the heat of him somehow crossed the distance, lingered on the fabric. She had the urge to rub her face into it to soak up a little Nolan magic.

She balled the fabric up close to her but didn’t back up. His eyes found hers and she got lost in the brown depths. The temptation rose to step in to him and to find out if he tasted the same as he did when they’d been drunk. The fabric in her hands registered, the reason for it, and she took a large step back.

Nolan’s Adam’s apple bobbed, letting her know she wasn’t the only one affected.

…

Izzy closed the door to reduce sound interference, making Nolan wonder what made it through closed doors and what did not. No time to worry about that now, they had a video to record.

He showed Izzy how to use the recording equipment and she sat nearby, ready to be the camera person and vocalize close to the microphone. Meanwhile, he faced the wall, going over his speech in his head and trying not to be affected by the beautiful woman helping him. Her presence beckoned him, calling him to her, and the closed office door did not help, not one bit. This wasn’t a game, this was real life, and he couldn’t act on any whim he had. Heck, acting on whims created Archie in the first place. No fantasy could exist where they did anything other than business.

Especially while at work.

Things were easier when Archie was around, a constant reminder of that night, and the failed condom, and the reason why he needed to tread very carefully with the opposite sex. Especially Izzy. But none of that mattered when she looked at him, when she smiled. He felt it seep into his bones and twist him into knots.

And now they stood in a closed room. Alone. Without the baby. How easy it would be to cross the distance between them. How wrong. He couldn’t crash and burn with Izzy. They already had a permanent connection in their son.

That thought used to be a bucket of cold water, but it wasn’t. Not anymore. And these thoughts helped no one.

Nolan shook out his hands and faced Izzy. He moved into position as she bent over the viewfinder to check the screen. The motion had her sticking her ass out, and he couldn’t help following the curve of her back over her rear and down those long legs. Couldn’t help remembering how those legs felt wrapped around him as he—

Izzy straightened, breaking him from his memories, one hand on her hip. “You have to move a little to the right.” Only he barely saw the signs, he was too focused on her face, on the light flush to her cheeks, on the enlarged pupils. All his blood rushed south and the thought of taking her in the room, on the floor, on his desk, the wall—he didn’t care—grew stronger than rational thought.

He stepped out of his spot, heading for her. She didn’t stop him, didn’t question him, did nothing to bring him back to the present. Instead her tongue moistened her bottom lip and he grew hard enough to break wood. Her head tipped up as he reached her personal space, then pressed into it. The air warmed around them, as though together they created their own heat source.

Nolan brushed Izzy’s hair back, tucking it behind her ear. Her skin prickled at his touch, easily seen because she tilted her head, giving him better access to her neck.

He took it, settled his hand under her hairline. Her skin soft and smooth and every bit as alluring as he remembered. Nothing about her had changed, only grown more addictive as time passed. He leaned his head down until he rested mere centimeters from her plump lips. Like that night so long ago, he made his intentions known, but left the decisions up to her.

Also like that night long ago, she didn’t disappoint. Izzy shifted closer, meshing her lips with his. Fireworks damn near exploded as he pulled her close, sunk his lips to hers. Everything came to life and faded away until the only thing that mattered was Izzy back in his arms.

She tasted the same and felt the same—alcohol, time, situation, none of that mattered. He feared she’d still taste the same in ten or twenty or more years. They’d had enough time apart, had enough things happen while apart, that the magic shouldn’t have been stronger.

But it was. He wanted to melt into her, take her, be a part of her again. He wanted to lay everything on the line and give it to her.

She lightened the kiss, then stepped back, outside of his grasp. Cold emptiness replaced her warmth and he struggled to regain his thoughts, to regain the thought of why this was wrong.

He refocused on his office. Reason number one. And the green wrap of fabric that had held their child. Reason number two. Nolan ran a hand through his hair and worked at getting his breathing under control. He couldn’t do a damn thing about the erection pressing against his fly.

“I’m sorry,” he signed, lost and unsure.

She shook her head. “No. Don’t be. My decision, too.” Her hands shook, and he knew she felt this just as much as he did. “But the company policy, we really can’t…” She gestured between them, the implication clear.

Shit. For a brief moment he had forgotten about the policy, letting his dick lead instead of his head. He shouldn’t have done that, and she shouldn’t have let him. They couldn’t change this kiss, much like they couldn’t change having a kid together. And none of that helped get blood flow back to his brain as it damn well should have.

“The video? Or do we need a break, fresh air, water”—a shower, sex—“first?” His libido wanted to play an entirely different and inappropriate game.

Izzy raised her head, determined chin pointing upward. “No. I’m good. And Archie won’t sleep much longer.”

Right. Archie. He shouldn’t be touching her. Not here. But he wasn’t sure how he’d survive the rest of the week with her in his apartment. She’d turned into an achievement he needed to unlock, and the desire would only get stronger.