Chapter Fourteen

Nolan held Izzy as she fell asleep, tracing the curve of her cheek, the bump on her nose, not wanting to take his eyes off her. He needed to commit her to memory, find a way to preserve all her beauty, the essence that filled him with a shocking ray of light. The urge to draw her welled inside, even if his drawing materials were in the spare bedroom where Archie slept. The sex had been mind-blowing, amazing, and he knew it had nothing to do with his year and a half of celibacy. It had to do with Izzy.

Either he got her and her body like he got no other, or she somehow gave him a skill he lacked in other areas. In the end, it didn’t matter. Only that she matched him.

And that held a whole other can of worms. She matched him and they had a kid sleeping in the next room. They were a family. They could either continue to match and become what he never thought he’d have—a partner and child—or they could grow to be more dysfunctional than his own parents and deal with ugly child custody fights.

The thought made his stomach curdle, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the simple motion soothing him.

He pushed his jumbled thoughts aside as her slow, steady breaths skittered across his chest. She was asleep. He knew she’d gotten little the night before, and who knew how many nights before that. But now she was relaxed, and he wanted to do whatever the hell he could to keep her that way.

Which led to more dangerous thoughts… He wanted to keep her. And Archie. Not like a caveman—he wasn’t a caveman, even if they both made him want to beat his chest and stomp and scare away all other suitors—but in an “I want to share my life with you because you make everything brighter” sense.

Nolan shoved a hand through his hair. Way too deep thoughts; he was rushing things, as usual. Considering their jobs, there wasn’t anything to rush.

That doused his fire; nothing like a reality check to realign his wayward thoughts. An unsettled vibe ran through him, and he needed to move and do something. He carefully slid out from under Izzy and held his breath as she snuggled into the pillow, staying asleep. Before now this place had been where he slept, nothing more, nothing less. Now he saw the color and vitality she added to an otherwise drab room, making it clear what everyone had pointed out. And she did that with her essence and a few colorful items of clothing scattered about. He covered her with the blankets and got dressed before leaving the room, needing to clear his head before he started envisioning how Izzy would decorate the entire place if he let her.

Nolan slipped down the hall to Archie’s room, inching the partially closed door open to check on him. Light cascaded over the crib, where Archie had a hand shoved into his mouth and shifted back and forth.

Not peacefully sleeping. Not for the teething baby.

He searched for the pacifier and found it wedged into the side like last time. Only he couldn’t pop it into Archie’s mouth, not with his little hand already there. The squirming increased, head rolling side to side, fist going farther into his mouth.

Crap, the kid was going to dislocate his jaw. Or win some records.

Without thinking, Nolan picked him up and settled him onto his shoulder. Chest to chest, he felt the vibrations of fussing and knew he’d need to think fast in order for Izzy to remain asleep.

Nolan popped the pacifier into Archie’s mouth, and wide dark eyes darted up to him, blinking. But thankfully not crying.

“You should be asleep,” Nolan signed.

Archie kicked, then the chin started quivering.

Fuck.

“What’s wrong?”

More quivering. But Archie didn’t sign for milk, and Nolan figured that either meant teeth or diaper.

He hadn’t had to do a diaper change on his own yet. “You need your diaper changed?”

Archie kicked some more, no quivering chin. Could be coincidence. Nolan raised the baby until his butt was nose level, and immediately pulled back at the eye-watering smell.

Double fuck.

Time to man up, Holtzman.

He flicked on the light and moved to the table, aware of the open ledge. He settled Archie onto his back and stared at the sack covering most of the kid. No sleeves, some sort of bean sack thing for kids.

What happened to blankets?

Nolan unzipped and started to take Archie’s arms out, then thought better of it and put the arm back in. The frequent pacifier sucking stopped, and Archie gave him a look. “Yes, I know. Your father is a screw-up. I don’t know what I’m doing.” That seemed to placate the baby and he resumed sucking.

Nolan got the feet out from the sack, grateful to find only a onesie underneath. He undid the snaps and raised the fabric before eyeing the full diaper.

Archie had spat out the pacifier and now had his toes in his mouth. No sign of distress. “You trust me with this?”

Archie fit another toe in.

“We really need your jaw examined.”

He undid the diaper straps, pulled it back, and promptly turned and gagged. And he thought the smell was bad earlier. Knowing he had to deal, he sucked in a breath and went back to work, claiming the foot back from Archie to raise his bum and remove the diaper.

Step one accomplished.

Only now he fumbled around, having not gathered all the supplies ahead of time. The wipes were to his left, diapers just beyond, and if he stretched he could keep one hand on the baby and gather his supplies.

Nolan shifted his stance and, reaching for the wipes, he stretched a little farther and collected them, then grabbed the fresh diaper with the tip of his fingers.

Point Holtzman.

He fixed himself back at Archie and pulled out a wipe, pausing as he assessed the poo-covered rear. The same rear he hadn’t kept in the air while getting the supplies, that now left streaks on the sleeping sack.

Point lost.

“You don’t need that to sleep, right?”

Archie had both hands wedged at the corners of his mouth.

Nolan used the wipe to clean him up. Then a second, and a third, trying to get all the dirty parts. Then a fourth, just because.

Baby clean, he shifted the dirty sack aside, settled Archie down, and reached for the diapers. Something wet hit his cheek, and kept hitting, sliding down his neck.

Nolan swallowed, not moving as the wetness continued, and continued, and he questioned every life decision he ever made. The onslaught finally stopped, but he didn’t for a moment believe it wouldn’t start up again. He used a wipe to clean himself and Archie, then quickly put a new diaper on before the kid got any more ideas. With luck, he managed to get it on securely. He removed Archie’s arms from the sack and picked the baby up.

Archie clapped.

“You’re just proud you marked me.”

He tossed the dirty items in the trash and laundry, respectively, then set Archie into the crib. The baby stood and the watery eyes told Nolan this wasn’t going to end well.

“I need to wash my hands.”

Archie rocked against the railing, probably making noise now, and Nolan couldn’t have it. He picked up Archie, brought him to the bathroom, and set him on the floor to quickly wash his hands. And his neck. Noticing the wet spots on his shirt, he pulled it over his head and tossed it in the corner.

By the time he looked down he managed to catch the second before Archie chomped hard on his big toe. Swallowing his pain—how the hell did Izzy breastfeed this beast?—he picked up the kid. “No.” Then went back to the spare room, grabbed the pacifier, and popped it into the raptor’s mouth.

Archie rested his head on Nolan’s shoulder. Nolan contemplated a beer. He wanted to put the kid down, but clearly that wasn’t happening. And even though he was now exhausted and ready for sleep, he moved into the living room, lying down on the couch, with Archie on his chest.

No wonder Izzy was tired. He’d barely been up with this kid one night and wasn’t sure how much he could continue, and Izzy had done this nearly a year.

Then Archie reached over to the hand Nolan had on his chest and squeezed his finger, turning something deep inside. In that moment Nolan knew he’d do anything for this kid.

With his free hand he rubbed Archie’s little back as the baby stared up at him with wide eyes. “You want a story.” Archie continued to stare, sucking on the pacifier like it was his drug of choice. Nolan thought back to his childhood and signed The Three Little Pigs, claiming back his other hand to do so. Time for a little story time, ASL style.