Chapter Eighteen

Archie’s cries yanked Izzy out of a happy dream filled with entire nights to enjoy Nolan’s body and uninterrupted sleep. She took a moment to wake, as she’d fallen asleep in Nolan’s arms, the same arms still surrounding her. His warm chest her pillow, his steady breaths proof that he didn’t hear a thing. At least not the piercing cries of their son.

Izzy pushed herself up and slipped out of the bed, wondering if they could start some sort of alternating schedule, even for the few days they had left together. She’d take an hour of uninterrupted sleep any time of day when offered.

Once dressed she headed to the spare room, where Archie stood with his hands on the side of the crib, his face wet with tears. She picked him up and he quieted down, head pushing in to her shoulder. She bounced him. “Teeth again, kiddo?” She reached into the crib and pulled out the pacifier. Archie accepted it willingly. “Guess you really don’t need nighttime nursing anymore.” She changed his diaper and tried to settle him back into his crib, hoping to go back to sleep herself. Archie immediately stood and started whimpering. So out into the living room they both went.

She picked up her phone, the lock screen reminding her of Nolan’s earlier reaction to three-day-old Archie. “I think we need to gather up your pictures for your father.”

Archie clapped, like he did for everything. Izzy picked up her computer, going through the photos with Archie on her lap. They started with her growing belly, then the hospital, then the days and weeks until now. So many pictures and Archie wasn’t even a year old yet.

She moved most of them into a slideshow. Archie fell asleep on her lap as she worked, losing interest in his own pictures. She tried not to wonder how things might have been different if she’d been able to find Nolan back then, but the images came too easily to mind. He’d stepped up when she needed him, when they needed him, and she had no doubt he would have done the same earlier if he could have.

Ultrasounds, childbirth classes, labor, he would have been there. Her mind conjured up a visual of Nolan holding a newborn Archie, swaddled for the first time, smile on his face, pride in his eyes. She tried to shake those thoughts free, but the image lingered, a truth in the meaning refusing to diminish.

Those thoughts still swirled after she put Archie into his crib and climbed back into bed with Nolan. She cuddled into his backside, spooning him, and he snuggled back into her. If it wasn’t for Archie they might have had a date, perhaps two, easing into things. But having a baby together changed everything. Izzy didn’t want to hope, didn’t want to dream, but the future formed in her mind as she wrapped her arms around a man she suspected she was falling for.

Sleep wouldn’t come, not with the feel of his naked chest beneath her hands, and the gentle rise and fall of his body. She trailed her fingers over his lean muscles, up and down ridges, unaware how low she’d gotten until her fingers nestled into a patch of coarse hair, and Nolan’s breathing no longer came in gentle puffs.

He rolled over before her fingers could dip any lower. She followed his outline as he sat up, unable to see any distinction until he flipped on the light. They both blinked to adjust to the brightness. “What’s wrong? Archie crying?”

Huh. Maybe she could have woken him after all. “Already taken care of. He’s asleep.”

Nolan nodded and ran a hand through his hair. The bedhead look, coupled with bare chest and sheets pooled in his lap, made her lick her lips.

“So what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing.” She fumbled with her words, unsure how to describe that she woke him by enjoying his body, when she realized his eyes weren’t on hers, but on her lips.

She licked them again. Nolan grumbled and leaned forward, fitting his mouth to hers. They fell backward in the bed, lips locked, and Izzy’s traitorous heart nearly jumped ship. Her wanderlust soul found its home and wanted to make one final leap and then follow this man wherever he went, with their little family.

His hands slid under her shirt, up to her breasts, easily slipping inside the loose nursing bra. Izzy arched into him, slightly worried about spillage, since she’d been used to nighttime nursing, but unable to care with him plucking her nipples and setting off a rocket of need straight down to her core.

She ran her hands down his torso, getting a thrill out of him being naked while she wore clothes. Her fingers found him hard, and she held that smooth warmth in her palm, stroking as their lips remained locked and his hands continued their magic on her chest. The need between them tinged with desperation, but also the growing awareness and care.

Heart overboard and drowning.

Izzy let herself go, let herself revel in the moment, in the closeness and the passion. Nolan’s hand trailed down her body and into her pants. She spread her legs, tiny waves setting off the moment he pushed a single finger into her needy core.

Had she really been worried about her body post-baby? Because he made her forget any and all concerns, made her only feel. If this was sex after having a kid, she should have been doing this a lot earlier.

With him.

He added a second finger and she halted in her pumping, holding him tight, as a wave rocked through her. She forced her eyes open, finding him watching her, so much heat in his gaze her clothes should have evaporated. A big word that started with L and came before “you” threatened to fall from her lips or her hands, and in an effort to keep quiet she grasped the bottom of her top and pulled it off.

His eyes heated further and she squirmed into his hand, setting off another wave, needing his cock inside her now.

When she regained movement, she shifted until his fingers slid out, whimpering at the loss. “Condom,” her shaking hands signed, and he rummaged around in the bedside table, giving her a world-class view of his ass, and she wanted to crawl over and nibble him. Instead she removed the rest of her clothes.

Nolan turned back to her, condom already on, looking like the best damn ice cream one could ever have. Or cake. Or drink. Or man. She shifted onto her back, inviting him into her body.

“You’re beautiful,” he signed as he crawled over to her and positioned himself above her entrance. “So damn beautiful.” And then he pushed in and fireworks went off like the Fourth of July on steroids.

She moved with him, her entire body sensitized and tuned in to his every touch and shift. Until coldness hit her chest. She glanced down and, yup, she had leaked.

Mood killer, postpartum style.

Nolan paused, but his face showed no disgust. “You O.K.?”

“I’m leaking.”

He glanced down and the heat in his eyes didn’t diminish. “Can I lick?” His hands moved in a sensual motion, as though outlining her breast, and she nearly felt his touch.

She shuddered. And even though his smile showed he felt it, he waited for her nod, before bending, blond hair falling over his forehead as he lapped up the trail down her breast, tingles exploding around his touch. Her body quaked.

“I see why Archie likes it.” Then he licked up her second breast and she nearly came from that alone. He gave her a satisfied grin, welcoming all the changes to her body as though they were the best new technology. She didn’t understand how it was possible, but Nolan found her more attractive as a mother. She started to wonder if it was a MILF thing, when he gave her one big thrust, and all thoughts scattered from her mind. She fell into the rhythm, the fast pace, as everything climbed until she didn’t care if she leaked, only that this moment continued.

She clutched his shoulders, his back, his ass, meeting his thrusts, loving every second they shared together. Until she burst, one final orgasm, satisfying every nerve she had and some she hadn’t known about.

Nolan’s head rested in the crook of her neck, and she realized they either came together, or damn near close. He held himself above her, breathing heavily, and she brushed his hair off his forehead.

Her heart screamed at her, confession after confession, and she swallowed them all down. Too soon, too raw, too much at stake. Then he pressed his lips against hers, soft and sweet, as though answering her emotional upheaval.

Maybe, just maybe, they were on the same page. And maybe one day her fantasy would come true. For now she held him close, a few more moments to lay in this bliss.

…

Nolan stifled a yawn the next morning as he waited in line at a coffee shop close to his apartment. And yet this tired felt happy, a willing sacrifice for having two of the most important people to him in his life, at least for a few more days. The coffee aroma surrounded him, and a few feet away, Izzy sat at a table, with Archie kicking in his stroller. Two tired parents called for breakfast out and they were far enough away from work that no one should catch them.

He liked this, being out with Izzy and Archie, doing something for them by taking care of their order, even if it benefited only Izzy. It killed him a bit to realize this couldn’t continue, not with their jobs. He hadn’t a clue how they could continue without it becoming a problem for one, or both, of them. Maybe after adequate coffee and a thorough reading of the human resources packet he thought had migrated to the bottom of his desk drawer, he’d figure something out.

The line inched forward, and he glanced back at Archie, who flailed his hands and feet, looking right at Nolan with his drooling smile. Nolan looked forward, then swung his head back around to Archie, who clapped and laughed. Since Izzy was checking something on her phone, Nolan continued the peek-a-boo game, until he misjudged the moving line and rammed into the person in front of him.

He held his hands up, inching backward, signing “sorry” while mouthing the word. The woman around forty or fifty with overly processed blonde hair did not look amused. He’d explain more about the kid, but as soon as he grabbed his phone to type his apology the woman turned back around, ending his chance to communicate.

That cut into some of his happy, tired state. He kept his phone out, since he’d moved closer to the front than he thought. When his turn arrived he handed over his phone, with his order and Izzy’s typed up. The cashier’s mouth moved and Nolan couldn’t figure out what he was saying. He pointed to his ear and shook his head. The guy nodded and rang up the order, reminding Nolan why he liked this place; for whatever reason they discriminated less than other places did.

When their order was ready he brought it over to the table, Archie clapping as he sat down. “Does he ever not clap?” he asked.

Izzy took a sip of her caramel latte. “Sometimes. I find the clapping cute.”

He did, too.

“You ready for the big meeting?”

His hand wobbled as he unwrapped his breakfast sandwich and he wanted to kick himself. It was a meeting, nothing to be nervous or overdramatic about. But so much rested on this one meeting. He had to prove himself, needed to know his ideas were good and valid and that he could be a positive addition to the agency. And yeah, he knew more than half of his worries stemmed from his childhood and the New York fiasco, and that he amped up the pressure with no outside help needed. He wanted this win.

Izzy waved. “You O.K.? I lost you there.”

He took a bite of his egg and cheese sandwich. “I’m fine.” It would have worked if his signs hadn’t turned jerky, knocking into his large iced coffee. It wobbled and he tried to grab it, somehow managing to knock it again.

Right into his lap.

Nolan stood up, the liquid dripping down his pants and onto the floor. He thanked his luck he went with iced and not hot as the cold drink chilled his skin. Izzy jumped up, handing over napkins as Archie clapped.

“I suspect you are a little bit nervous?”

Nolan dabbed at his pants, but nothing short of an industrial-sized dryer would work at this point. “Maybe.”

Izzy pushed her lips together, but he caught the laughter in her eyes. An employee showed up with more napkins, as though the tiny scraps would take care of the large iced coffee he currently wore as pants, and began mopping up the spill.

Izzy still held in her laughter.

“It’s O.K., laugh.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not funny.”

He glanced down at his light beige pants and the large darker beige from his drink. He looked like he was Archie without a diaper. “It’s a little funny.”

Her shoulders shook, and she covered her mouth.

He removed her fingers, finding her lips curved. “It’s O.K. ” After all, he was used to doing something like this; it surprised him he hadn’t done it before around her. Though the failed condom certainly had been a big one. And yet, her laughter coaxed his out, and he had to smile even though his legs were wet and cold.

“No, it’s not O.K., but seeing your smile is.” Then, even though Archie sat there watching them, she lifted onto her toes and kissed him on the lips, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

They cleaned up the trash and one of the employees brought over a new drink for Nolan. He thanked them the best he could, because this day now needed even more caffeine than before. He took a sip, but the cold beverage just reminded him of his cold thighs. Nolan knew these pants would not work for an important presentation. “I’m going home to get changed. Bonus, we won’t arrive at work at the same time.”

Izzy nodded. “Good idea, but eat first or take it with you.”

He settled down to eat a slightly soggy meal while uncomfortable, but at least he had Izzy and Archie with him. With any luck, this would be the biggest misadventure of the day, saving him from any calamities with the board meeting.