Chapter 8

Canada, Twenty-Eight Years Ago

The family began their agonizing ascent up ice-covered rocks. Chepi clasped the hand of the boy. Noshi carried Sheshebens. After a futile hour, the boy’s hand slipped out of his mother’s. He’d lost his footing and slid on his belly down the steep, snowy slope, arms outstretched, “Mommy, help me…”

Northern California, Present Time

Bobby’s interview took more time than Maggie expected. “What’s the word on the lab results for the cigarette?” she asked Jake as she stepped out of the interrogation room.

“Inconclusive.”

“That’s too bad.” She stifled a yawn. “Well, I’m going home, guys. See you tomorrow.”

She drove home, fell asleep exhausted, woke up at dawn and drove to the sheriff’s office to interview Dolly Sorenson’s husband. The interview went as expected. He was an arrogant jerk who fancied himself a lady killer, but he was not a kid killer.

Jake and Happy cornered her for the debriefing. She put her hands up, “I’ve been here all morning and I didn’t even get my cup of coffee, guys. I gotta get something to eat first. Give me an hour.”

She looked into Jake’s face, which she seldom did because of his eyes. Maggie couldn’t help but stare. His eyes always took her by surprise every time she looked into them, even from the first time when he turned around in his chair to apologize in eighth grade, and even now when she had to deal with a crushing headache and an empty stomach. When she was younger, she’d made a trip with one of her lovers to Homer, Alaska. Across the Kachemak Bay the Grewingk Glacier pushed its way through a cleft in the mountains toward the sea. What startled her most was its color, bright luminescent blue, the color of Jake Lubbock’s eyes. She knew Jake had a crush on her, and had forever. He’d asked her out dozens of times over the years, and she always turned him down, but those glacier blue eyes drew her in. She averted her gaze.

She couldn’t allow herself to think of Jake as anything other than a friend. When Sally asked her, “Why not go out with him? See what happens.” Her response was, “Why? I’d only risk losing a great buddy.” Once, years before, she entertained the thought, but Jake hooked up with Shelly Johnson. They married, and that was the end of it. Then Shelly died. Once he’d overcome his grief, Jake started pursuing Maggie again.

“Let it go, Jake,” she told him. But he never quite did.

“If you didn’t act so desperate, I might consider it,” she said another time.

“I’m not desperate. I’m persistent. If you can’t tell the difference, to hell with you.”

Now, Mingan entered the picture, and anything with Jake was out of the picture. Still...

*

“You got time for a break?” Maggie asked Sally as she stepped into Mama’s. Sally hoisted a full Arrowhead bottle with ease from the floor and upended it into a water dispenser. With her tiny lacewing-like frame, and her delicate features, she didn’t look like she could lift a kitten, let alone a full container that size.

“I could have helped you with that.”

“Naw, I got it.” Sally wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. “Actually, I’m about ready for some real food. Let’s go across the street and grab a sandwich. I can close for an hour or so.”

“Where’s Dawn? Doesn’t she come in during the week?

“Some days here, some days at The Dandelion. I’m by myself today, but it’s dead right now.” Sally flipped off the espresso machine and wiped her hands on a bar towel. “You need to talk to me about something?”

“Sort of…let’s see if we can’t get a corner booth when we get to the café.”

The two women crossed the street. It was late afternoon and the lunch crowd at The Dandelion had dissipated.

“Good,” said Maggie when she saw all but two tables were empty.

The women slid into the booth furthest away from the few remaining customers. Without being asked, Dawn brought a mug of coffee for Maggie and a diet Coke for Sally, took their orders, and left.

“What’s up?” Sally said.

“I’m in a hell of a place. I told Jake I’d help with the investigation of that son-of-a-bitch child murderer. I didn’t want to, but I’ve gotten myself dragged in, and now I can’t back out.”

Sally took a sip of her Coke. “What I’m hearing is this: you’ve committed yourself to helping, so it looks to me like you’re in this for the long haul. I understand being part of this case is something you don’t want to do, but you’re joining the reserves now anyway, yes? “

Maggie nodded.

“As a reservist, aren’t you obligated to help if Jake asks you to?”

“I wanted nothing to do with any of this, but those little boys have only a few days at most before that fucker kills them.” Maggie rubbed her temples. “I’ve been at the sheriff’s office all damned morning, and I have to go back to meet Jake after we eat.”

“You’re totally stressed out over this, aren’t you?”

“I feel like someone is slicing my nerves into strips with a razor.”

Dawn set a BLT in front of Sally and a French dip in front of Maggie.

“Ketchup?” the waitress asked Maggie.

“No, thanks, Dawn. Bring a side of horseradish, please.” She salted her fries.

Dawn lingered tableside. Maggie picked up a French fry and looked up at her. “What is it? Did you hear me ask for horseradish?”

“Yeah, sorry. Coming right up.” She made no move toward the kitchen.

“What do you want, Dawn?” Maggie bit the end off of a fry.

“I wondered if the two of you heard about the Sorenson kids. What kind of psycho hurts kids, Maggie?”

“I can’t discuss that right now. Bring the horseradish, please.”

“People are saying that it’s an Indian monster or something.”

“I’m not in any mood to hear about monsters. My sandwich is getting cold. Do you mind getting the horseradish?”

“Yeah, whatever,” her voice tight, pained, Dawn turned, and walked back to the kitchen with her head down.

After the waitress left, Sally leaned forward to Maggie. “You don’t have to be rude to Dawn. I know this is tough on you, but the town needs to process this, Maggie. Don’t shut people down like that.”

“You know I can’t discuss a case I’m working on, and I don’t appreciate this bull about monsters.”

“Back off a little, Mag. What’s really bothering you?”

Maggie looked down at the table, and with her voice soft she said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. You know about my work in the bay area, and those little girls?”

Sally reached across the table and laid her hand on Maggie’s. “What you went through when you shot that bastard who you thought raped and tortured those children to death…it’s perfectly understandable why you’d…”

“…it’s not what you think. What happened to those little girls was horrible, but that’s only part of why I don’t want on this case.”

“What is it, then?” Sally withdrew her hand.

Maggie glanced around the café and once satisfied no one was eavesdropping, she leaned forward. “Sally, I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone. If this gets out, I’m screwed.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m sharing this with you because, other than Jake, you are the only person on the planet I trust. I killed not because I had to, but because of something else. I don’t know if I understand it myself.”

Sally cocked her head and knitted her brows. “What do you mean?”

“He fled the scene. Everyone knew the suspect carried a knife, but he was no threat to me. As soon as I backed the guy into an alley I emptied my Glock into him without warning.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I didn’t feel anything when I shot him.”

“No, no, no. You were in shock. You thought he’d raped and murdered little girls. You were…”

“Listen to me. I’m trying to tell you I killed a man without a shred of remorse.”

Sally stared at Maggie, her face ashen. “Where was your partner through all this?”

“Not far behind. When he caught up, I was still firing. He had to pry the weapon from my hand. He’s the one who called it in. He covered for me. I just stood there and stared at this…this corpse, this…man, feeling nothing.”

“I really think you were wrapped up in some sort of temporary emotional upheaval and…”

“Sally, that’s not it. And, what’s worse, it didn’t even matter all that much that I’d killed the wrong guy. The man I shot was only a junkie street hustler, and I knew he wasn’t the killer. He was a scumbag, sure, but not a child murderer. He simply happened to be in the vicinity when we discovered the body, and when he saw we were cops he bolted. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time, but he didn’t deserve to die like that.”

“Oh, Mag. I’ve always known you to be compassionate, not…”

“I’ve kept this secret for nearly a decade and it’s eating me alive.”

“I think it was the circumstances, Maggie. Nothing more. Did the cops ever catch the Oakland murderer?”

“He’s still out there somewhere, maybe raping and killing other little girls, and that’s one reason I decided to help Jake…well, and Flower and Bird. I wasn’t able to catch that other killer, and want to make sure this one doesn’t slip through the cracks and maybe hurt my nieces.”

Sally’s eyes went blank. She fiddled with her glass, turning it with one on the table so fast Coke splashed over the rim. She wiped the spill with a napkin, and wadded it into her fist.

Maggie reached out one hand to touch Sally, then withdrew it and put it in her lap. “You are my best friend, Sally. I don’t mean to dump on you… to burden you with this, but I had to tell someone.”

“You didn’t retire early because you saw those little girls’ bodies?” Sally looked into Maggie’s eyes.

“That was part of it, yes, but there’s something inside of me that’s really scary. Something that makes me think I could be as much of a monster as the psycho child murderer I’m hunting.”

“Don’t say that about yourself. What you did was…it wasn’t right, no, but you aren’t the monster. You killed the monster, or that was your intention, anyway. And, of course, there’s that other thing, too, with your own…” Sally looked up just as John Winters entered the restaurant. “Oh, no.”

He strode to the table where the two women were seated, leaned over and slammed his hands on the table, stuck his head to within six inches of Sally’s face and glowered. “Who in hell is minding Mama’s?”

Maggie felt the hairs stiffen on the nape of her neck.

Sally put her hand up to halt him. “No one. It was slow, and I locked up for a few minutes to grab a sandwich.”

“We can’t afford to lose customers. Not in this economy. Get your ass back to the store.”

Maggie bolted out of her seat. A glass of water toppled to the floor. “Why don’t you crawl back to your couch? Sally will continue working her butt off to support your cheap beer habit after she’s done with her sandwich.”

“This is family business, Maggie. I don’t need you interfering.”

“And I don’t need you busting in on our lunch and intimidating my best friend in public, you worthless jerk-off.”

Sally stood. “Please,” she said to Maggie.

Maggie had not realized she’d turned into a shrieking virago, the volume of her voice cranked to a strident pitch. She looked around and noticed the other few diners had ceased eating, some of them mid-bite. Every person from the patrons to the busboy stared, frozen. The manager, Missy, walked toward them.

Maggie lowered her voice. “John, go home. I’ll get Sally back to Mama’s, all right?” She turned to the customers and restaurant workers. “It’s okay folks. Finish your meals.”

“Make sure you get back to work soon, Sally,” John said. “I’m not happy about you hanging around The Dandelion giving them our money when our own business suffers.” He gave Maggie a look that could melt steel before stomping out of the restaurant so hard that loose change jingled in his pockets.

Dawn came by with a dishtowel to mop-up the spilled water.

“Sorry,” Maggie said to her. “I’m really sorry, Dawn, for everything I mean.”

“No problem,” Dawn said. With both hands she carried the soggy towel back to the kitchen, never once making eye-contact with Maggie.

Maggie turned back to Sally. “I’m sorry I blew up like that, but your husband is a first-class prick, and he’s mean. I’m really scared he’s going to hurt you one day.”

“Looks who’s talking. You’ve never had a successful relationship in your life. You’re the worst judge of character when it comes to men of any woman I’ve ever known. You can’t even tell a good guy from a bad guy, and you call yourself a criminal investigator, a detective? God, help us.”

“I know my relationships with men suck, but don’t ever confuse my personal life with my professional life. I’m a good criminologist.” Maggie grabbed her sandwich and bit into it. “Dammit. It’s cold now.” She threw the French dip on her plate splashing au jus over the table, and scattering fries onto the floor.

“Don’t be too judgmental about my relationship with John, and don’t think I can’t stand up for myself if I need to.”

Maggie picked up the fries. “I’m sorry, Sally. I can’t stomach it when he bullies you like that, especially in public. And, right now, I’m completely on edge.”

“I can handle it. All right? I know you think I’m a weak little thing, but I’ve been dealing with this man for over 20 years.”

“I only hope you realize that your spells and witchy rituals aren’t going to be enough to stop him if he decides to hurt you.”

“Give me a break. I do have other abilities, too, you know. I can take care of myself, thank you.” Sally pulled from her purse a light blue leather wallet embossed with a silver pentagram. “Lunch is on me.”

She laid a bill on the table. “Let’s go back to Mama’s, and I’ll make you a fresh cup of hot coffee.”

“I’ll take you up on that. Can I snag a banana muffin, too? I’m still hungry.”

“I think I can fix you up with something. By the way, tell me about Mingan? Everyone is talking about the two of you at the Bear Dance. He’s devastatingly handsome, successful, and seems over-the-top nice. Maybe this time, you’ve finally got yourself a winner.”