The League of Pensioners had drained the last drops of champagne from their glasses and calmed themselves as much as possible. Now the moment to open up the sports bag and reveal the loot had arrived. Brains lifted up the bag with a solemn gesture, tipped it upside down and let the contents pour out onto the table. The other four newly fledged villains sat like expectant children, watching as the pile of goodies grew. With a gleam in their eyes they started to sort through the items. Then a silence descended over them.
‘What’s all this?’ said Martha while she rummaged in the pile. ‘Make-up and hairbrushes?’
‘No lipstick for me, thank you,’ Rake muttered. ‘Who’s idea was it to raid the safes at the swimming pool? You’ve only got yourselves to blame. What did you expect—the crown jewels?’
‘The men at least seem to have deposited their mobile phones. Perhaps we can cash these in?’ Anna-Greta suggested and poked around in the heap of stolen property. ‘And look here; there are some bracelets and watches.’
‘But we won’t end up in prison for stealing this,’ Martha sighed.
‘And it isn’t much to share either,’ Christina added.
‘This thick bracelet must be eighteen carat and the watch should fetch a hundred thousand,’ Anna-Greta pointed out.
‘And here is a gold compact,’ said Martha as she picked out an engraved, showy case. It opened with a clasp, but it was so small that Martha couldn’t release it.
‘I’d like that compact, unless somebody else …?’ said Anna-Greta and quickly snatched it away before anyone had time to react. Christina gave her a withering look.
They became silent again and each of them tried to find something to be pleased about, but however thoroughly they rummaged in the pile they found little of value. The robbery had been successful, but the loot was just knick-knacks.
‘This is our first attempt. I don’t suppose Robin Hood was successful the first time either,’ Christina mumbled and looked dismally at the nail she had broken while rummaging in the pile.
‘I hardly think he stole hairbrushes, though,’ Rake answered.
‘Here we are risking our freedom for a load of junk. We must raise our game next time. A kidnapping or something,’ said Anna-Greta, waving her walking stick around—which, as she had predicted, had become totally warped in the steam room.
‘A kidnapping?!’ A gasp of group horror could be heard.
‘Yes, you take a hostage and demand ransom money!’
‘I have read about kidnapping in lots of novels,’ said Martha, ‘but the victims are usually overpowered and I’m not sure we’d manage that. What if we got beaten up in the process?’
‘But can’t we knock somebody over just a little?’ questioned Christina.
‘You mean, just trip them up?’ Rake said with a grin.
Nobody managed to laugh and, despite the champagne, the spirits of the group were low.
‘We can ask down in reception whether any famous guests are arriving soon,’ Brains suggested after a moment.
‘And then we kidnap them? People like Clinton or Putin, for example? I’d like to see that!’ Rake shook his head in disbelief.
‘I know what we can do. We’ll arrange a poker night up in one of our rooms. The suite is so fancy that nobody would suspect anything. Robbery and card-sharping ought to render a prison sentence,’ Martha suggested.
‘Good God, soon you’ll be opening a brothel too. We must be more realistic,’ chided Anna-Greta.
‘Card-sharping could be interesting,’ Brains mused, ‘but it wouldn’t lead to more than a conditional sentence.’
‘Quite right. We must fit the robbery to the amount of time we want to spend behind bars—and don’t forget that we want to get to the best prison too,’ said Martha, who had developed a taste for high standards.
‘So much to think about, as if it wasn’t hard enough to commit a crime.’ Christina exclaimed, pulling out her nail file. She was clearly agitated.
‘Time is not on our side, though. And we must decide our next move before somebody nails us for the robbery down in the spa,’ said Martha.
‘Or Nurse Barbara reports us as missing persons.’
The long discussion had tired them all out, and it was a gloomy gang of pensioners that went off to bed a little later.
‘Don’t give up. By tomorrow morning we’ll certainly have thought something up,’ Martha encouraged them.
In the middle of the night Martha woke with a start. Her heart was thumping and she had to wait quite a while before the palpitations stopped. With some effort, she sat up in bed and reached out for her glass of water. Then she remembered, and a broad smile spread across her wrinkled face. No wonder her heart had been thumping so hard. As usual, her old brain had been busy while she was asleep and had calmly and quietly found a solution to their delicate problem. Now she knew. They would indeed carry out a kidnapping—but in a very modern way. Martha could hardly restrain her enthusiasm and couldn’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night.