It’s a common lament of the Londoner: ‘I live among all these world-famous landmarks, but never visit any of them’. If that’s you, then for shame. Many of the bigger attractions really are worth the entrance fee, and not just for holiday-makers. This chapter is as close as I’ll get to the standard guidebook, but it’s aimed more at Londoners who want to tick off the must-see sights of their home town.
The Tower of London
EC3N 4AB (Tower Hill)
Perhaps the greatest example of ‘I’ve never been’ shame is the Tower of London. Yes, it’s a major tourist magnet. Yes, you might have to queue. But once inside, you’ll find a full day of distractions both entertaining and informative. The two chapels are particularly memorable. It’s often forgotten or missed among the many other baubles here, but the White Tower contains London’s oldest church, a Romanesque chapel dating from 1080. The Tower’s other church, St Peter ad Vincula, is also of exceptional importance, though something of a johnny-come-lately at a mere 500 years old. It contains the graves of Anne Boleyn, Jane Grey, Thomas More and Thomas Cromwell, all of whom were executed nearby. Don’t be shy of the Beefeater tours, either. Every yeoman warder, as they’re properly called, has at least 22 years experience in the armed forces. They’re proper characters and they know how to shout. I once had a pint (or three) with a former Beefeater; his booming voice and rambunctious temperament almost got us thrown out of the pub. And they also have to pass a rigorous history exam to lead the tours. Note: if you’re a Tower Hamlets resident, you can get in for just £1.
HMS Belfast
The Queen’s Walk, SE1 2JH (London Bridge)
Across the water, HMS Belfast is rewarding to explore. The numerous decks and cabins can be investigated at will, and it’s refreshing to find a tourist attraction that lets you climb up and down ladders (don’t wear a skirt) without safety-first supervision. The cruiser also holds the distinction of displaying London’s most preposterous set of mannequins – with the possible exception of the Sherlock Holmes Museum. Odd fact: the ship’s front turret guns are trained on the London Gateway service station at Scratchwood, some 11½ miles (18.5km) away.
National Gallery
Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN (Charing Cross)
London is blessed with a dozen major art galleries. The National Gallery will quickly become a firm friend once you’ve made the effort to visit. It contains absolutely no filler – every painting is a masterpiece. The crowds tend to hover around the Impressionist section, but I favour the back rooms with the sprawling 18th- and 19th-century canvases. Head along on a Wednesday morning and you can access the semi-secret ‘Room A’, a kind of glorified storage vault where the gallery keeps its ‘also-rans’... any of which would sell for millions.
St Martin’s Place, WC2H 0HE (Leicester Square)
The National Portrait Gallery is less grandiose, and less blessed with Old Masters than its conjoined twin, the National Gallery. It matters not, because its collection of famous faces – from Henry VIII to Dame Judy Dench – is endlessly engrossing. It’s arranged chronologically from top to bottom, so head up the lanky escalator for the Tudor gallery, then work your way to ground level, which holds modern portraits. The gallery also boasts one of London’s best museum cafés, with exceptional views over the rooftops around Trafalgar Square. A toast to Nelson is mandatory – especially if you encountered his portrait in the galleries below.
Museum of London
150 London Wall, EC2Y 5HN (St Paul’s)
Museum of London Docklands
No. 1 Warehouse, West India Dock Road, E14 4AL
(West India Quay DLR)
The Museum of London is one of those medium-sized museums that aims to satisfy both Londoners and visitors. As you’ll readily guess, it tells the story of London from Palaeolithic times right up to the modern era. Highlights include the Lord Mayor’s coach (unless he/she is using it), a recreated Victorian streetscape (go and sit in the pub and wait in vain for a pint), and the interior of a Victorian prison cell. The museum is at its best in the temporary exhibitions, which in recent years have covered populist topics such as Dickens and Sherlock Holmes with satisfying rigour. Sister venue, Museum of London Docklands, relates the history of the city’s docks, from their role at the centre of the British Empire, to their near-utter destruction during the Blitz, and more recently their high-rise makeover. The museum is housed in one of the few buildings not to be razed by the firestorm of the 1940s.
Tate Modern
Bankside, SE1 9TG (Blackfriars or Southwark)
This is one of the world’s newest major galleries, opening in 1999 in a former power station (designed, incidentally, by the same architect who gave us the red phone box). Its reputation, and its proximity to St Paul’s Cathedral, make this a tourist mecca, but every Londoner should also make its acquaintance. Even if modern art leaves you cold, the building is a joy to wander around just for its architecture. The enormous Turbine Hall has enough space for everyone, and houses commissioned works that could not fit in any other gallery. A new extension, looking something like a crooked pyramid, is due to open in a year or so, if they ever get round to laying the brickwork.
Millbank, SW1P 4RG (Pimlico)
Sister gallery Tate Britain can be found a mile or so upriver, in Millbank, and regular boats connect the two. This venue displays (mostly) British art from Tudor times to the modern day and is particularly prized for its Turner collection. Again, the building’s architecture is a huge part of the experience. The entrance lobby, Duveen Gallery and undercroft are among the most striking spaces in London. A recent rehang has greatly improved orientation, but sapped the life out of the labelling.
British Museum
Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG
(Holborn, Russell Square or Tottenham Court Road)
Finally, the British Museum. Avoid this place at all costs during high summer and Christmas time. The museum is right up there on the tourist itinerary with Buckingham Palace and Tower Bridge and gets extremely busy during peak times. Instead, make your pilgrimage in spring or autumn, preferably early in the morning, to appreciate the collections at their most serene – not to mention the breathtaking glass ceiling of the Great Court. The revamped Anglo-Saxon galleries are vital, and contain the unprecedented treasures of the Sutton Hoo excavation. The Japan galleries on the top floor, and the African galleries in the basement are both superbly laid-out, and seem to be less popular with the crowds. Finally, the enormous Enlightenment Gallery contains boundless cabinets of curiosity, displayed in a traditional manner. It’s not always open but try to get a peek inside the old Reading Room, formerly the British Library, where the likes of Karl Marx and George Orwell spent many an afternoon.
Victoria and Albert Museum
Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL (South Kensington)
Natural History Museum
Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD (South Kensington)
Science Museum
Exhibition Road, SW7 2DD (South Kensington)
This eminent trio of museums are all world-class. Every Londoner should make it a mission to get to know them. You have to be careful with your visiting hours, however, as they all get tremendously busy. Here are a few tips, gained from long experience.
Natural History Museum Be sure to use the side door (Exhibition Road) to avoid the queues. Beware of the dinosaurs – here be dragons, plus thousands of children. The Earth Galleries are usually less crowded, and offer more adult material than many of the other spaces. Seek out the great blue whale model (surprisingly well hidden considering its size) and ask the attendants about the time capsule supposedly buried inside. Finally, climb the stairs to the top of the older building to enjoy the stupendous architecture, including dozens of animal forms carved into the superstructure.
Science Museum A favourite with school groups, this place gets busy both in and out of term time. Unlike the NHM, however, it’s cannily (if not officially) divided between areas for kids and places for grown-ups. The recently built Communications gallery is a must (you may remember the Queen declaring it open with her first Tweet). Here you’ll find the earliest TV, and the computer upon which the World Wide Web was first developed. The Flight gallery is also fun and, practically concealed at the back of an upper floor, is always peaceful. The whole museum is best visited on one of the monthly late openings (usually the last Wednesday of the month), when it’s adults only … even in the ‘hands-on’ area usually aimed at children. You can drink wine, too.
Victoria and Albert Museum The largest of all London’s museums and the only one that contains, in Orwellian fashion, a ‘Room 101’. The V&A is a sprawling collection of all that is good in design, from fashions to architecture. Because of its size, and lesser appeal to youngsters, this museum tends to feel less crowded than its brethren. My favourite section is the sumptuous Medieval and Renaissance galleries – a collection so vast it took me ten visits to view everything. The recently revamped Casts Courts are unmissable: this is the world’s greatest collection of plaster-cast facsimiles of famous sculpture, from Michelangelo’s David to Trajan’s Column. Don’t miss, either, the famous Cartoons by Raphael.
Hampton Court Palace
East Molesey, KT8 9AU (Hampton Court)
If the Tower of London gave you a taste for royal refuges, you should also seek out Henry VIII’s great pile at Hampton Court Palace. It celebrates its 500th birthday in 2015, which makes it only about half the age of the Tower, but its rambling Tudor buildings and parkland setting give it a greater sense of grandeur. Plus, you get two palaces for the price of one, with William and Mary’s baroque addition grafted on to the old Gothic buildings. The Stuarts wanted to knock Henry’s palace down and build a rival to Versailles. Fortunately for us, they ran out of money before much of the Tudor structure was lost. I once had the pleasure of a trip onto the roof, whose access stairs still contain smoke damage from the disastrous fire in 1986. With its unrivaled history, endless gardens, spooky reputation and superb programme of events including a winter ice rink, I judge Hampton Court Palace as the best all-round attraction in the capital – both for tourists and Londoners.
Of all the London experiences deemed ‘only for tourists’, going to watch the Changing of the Guard must rank highest. But everyone should experience it at least once. It takes place from 11.30am every day (every other day in winter). First, pick a day when the Queen is at home – you can tell this by the Royal Standard flying over Buckingham Palace. The ceremony includes bonus soldiers whenever the sovereign is nearby. To see the full changeover, you need to get to the Palace at least 30 minutes before the start to bag a good spot at the railings. If you’re not bothered about the ceremony itself and just want to see 30 or 40 marching soldiers, hang out on Birdcage Walk (St James’s Park tube) around 11.15am, and you should have a close-up view of the new guard marching to the Palace.
National Maritime Museum
Park Row, SE10 9NF (Cutty Sark DLR)
Cutty Sark
King William Walk, SE10 9HT (Cutty Sark DLR)
Royal Observatory Greenwich
Blackheath Avenue, SE10 8XJ (Cutty Sark DLR)
Old Royal Naval College
King William Walk, SE10 9NN (Cutty Sark DLR)
Greenwich, or more properly Maritime Greenwich, is designated as a World Heritage Site. Of all the tourist sites listed in this section, it has the most to offer for Londoners, and rewards a repeat visit. The National Maritime Museum is the largest museum of ships and the sea in the world. Check out its new(-ish) Nelson exhibition, and the beautiful stained glass rescued from the bombed-out Baltic Exchange in the Square Mile. The museum also looks after the Cutty Sark clipper ship. Following a disastrous fire in 2007, the 19th-century vessel has been fully restored. The surrounding glass canopy is something of a love/hate structure from the outside – it looks as though someone has built an approximation of the sea in Minecraft – but it all makes sense from below decks. Up on the hill, meanwhile, you’ll find the Royal Observatory Greenwich. The tourists keep themselves busy bestraddling the famous Greenwich Meridian Line, but there’s plenty to see indoors in the observatory’s astronomy galleries. It also contains London’s only planetarium. Don’t neglect the classic buildings either. Christopher Wren’s Old Royal Naval College is to some people as much of a masterpiece as his cathedral at St Paul’s. And be sure to take a look around the Painted Hall, London’s answer to the Sistine Chapel. The nearby Queen’s Gallery offers a final flourish of culture, with dozens of canvases on a nautical theme.
