Do you know the meaning of words?

This time when I wake up Mum is there. She is silent, not looking at me, I want to tell her how it happened, how Dom was smiling, how that smile was the last thing he was, but it is so hard to put the whole story into words. My tongue doesn’t know the language but my body can feel it. Sometimes I am not sure if it really did happen but then I can feel it again in the heaviness of my chest.

Heavy: it is the only word I can think of to tell the story. If I could find the right words, I could store our grief in them. I could let it go out my mouth and into the air.