As the late summer turned to fall, and schedules stayed busy with events, the kids were able to spend very little time visiting with their neighbor. Around Thanksgiving, they noticed that the Loach had moved from its customary spot in the wood line between the two yards. Mr. Ed had re-positioned it in front of his porch on a small grassy spot. On a free Sunday afternoon, they got permission and walked next door.
“Hi Mr. Ed,” Matt shouted as they passed through the woods.
“How are you? We haven’t been able to see you in a while.”
Mr. Ed looked up and waved. “Hi guys! You all have been busy – seems like you are never home! I was a little worried that Bruiser’s story had scared you off.”
Ellie shook her head, “No sir, we love hearing the stories, even if bad things happen sometimes.” Moving around the Loach, Mr. Ed handed Matt the post used to extend the rotor blades.
“I’m getting ready for Christmas. Do you have a few minutes to help me put some lights up?”
The kids looked shocked, “I thought you were working on the Loach?” Mr. Ed grinned, “I am! This is going to be fun. Kind of reminds me of a USO tour the Christmas I was in Vietnam.”
“We’d love to help.” Matt said, “But what is “U-S-O?”
“USO? That is the United Service Organization. They are a group of folks that helps take care of service members who are away from home. They set up rest stops at airports, and used to do dances. Now they bring entertainment to the troops in the field. Around this time in 1968, we got notice that our company would fly some USO performers around some of the bigger firebases in III Corps’ area.
“Staff Sergeant Peters really got into the whole spirit of Christmas. He worked with a couple of the Beekeepers and changed the paint scheme on one of the Hueys. They painted a red circle on the nose, and reins with painted silver bells down either side of the cockpit. Somebody painted ‘MERRY X-MAS’ on the tail boom. I have no idea where or how they found it, but one of the door gunners showed up with a Santa Claus suit. It was still hot outside, but this fellow wore the Santa suit and leaned out of the Huey as it made approaches into firebases. The whole rig was supposed to look like. . .”
Excitedly, Ellie interrupted, “Like Santa’s Sleigh! The red circle was supposed to be Rudolph’s red nose! Are you going to decorate the Loach like that?”
Interrupting again, both kids were so excited, Matt yelled, “That would be awesome! I bet we can find a blow up Santa Claus, or make one like a scare crow, to put in the cockpit!”
Mr. Ed motioned Matt over to the starboard rotor blade as he positioned the ladder.
“Here, hold the blade up and rotate it around. I’ll explain my plan.” The team worked to extend both outboard blades. “I’m not going to paint anything. It’s a lot of work to paint and repaint, but I do have a red tree ball that we can put on the nose. Now this is the best part – I have a fourway electronic flasher that we can hook up to make four different strings of Christmas lights flash in pattern. It should make the blades look like they are spinning around when we are all done. Now, slip forward just a bit. A bit more, there!” He slipped the retaining pin into the lined up holes, fixing the rotor blade in place.
“Mr. Ed, can you tell us more about the USO show?” Ellie asked, “Did you get to fly them around?”
Matt and Mr. Ed moved to the other side to repeat the process on the port side blade.
“Sure thing, the USO was great. They sent a team ahead of the performers to set up a stage area and make sure the firebase was safe enough to bring the entertainers. Two elements, four aircraft, went to the USO for about two weeks. Wolz, as Hornet 24, and a pilot named Dawson, as Hornet 23, were the element leaders. I flew co-pilot with Wolz in the Rudolf ship that Peters had repainted. The big day finally came. Wolz and I took the Hornet 24 element down to the big airbase in Saigon to meet the entertainers and bring them back to Cu Chi for their first show. We did not know whom to expect. We were just given a list with numbers of people and specifications for their gear – size and weight, stuff like that. We landed in Saigon and shut down. One of the forward USO reps came up to us, admired the paint job and said, ‘You guys must be here to pick up Mr. Hope’s group. They’ll be landing in a few minutes.’
“Peters started talking, ‘Did you say Mr. Hope? Bob Hope? We are flying around Bob Hope. I thought we were getting some random ‘B’ list star, not Bob Hope! Skipper, I’m glad you’re flying, I wouldn’t be able to keep my head.’
“Wolz popped him on the shoulder, ‘Keep it together, soldier. You still have a job; don’t matter if it’s Bob Hope, Private Jones, or LBJ.” LBJ was the initials for the President at the time Lyndon Johnson, even though he was a lame duck.
“‘Yes sir, sorry, just got excited, my pops told me about seeing Bob Hope in France in ‘45, never expected to see him, let alone fly him around.’
“We did not have to wait too long. A big Continental 707 landed and taxied in our direction. As soon as the stairs wheeled into place and the hatch opened, we saw the chin. Bob Hope had a very distinctive profile. His chin was very wide, with a big sloping forehead. You could not miss him in a crowd. He was wearing jungle greens, a standard Army ball cap, and chewing on a wooden pipe. Despite the heat radiating off the tarmac he smiled and waved, seemingly endowed with a positive spirit. He came down the stairs and started shaking hands, acting just like the dignitary that he was. He would take a moment to chat with most of the men he encountered.
“‘Where you from soldier?’ was a common question. He usually answered with some kind words about the soldier’s hometown, state, or a one or two line story about someone he knew from that area of the country.
“After working a small crowd for about fifteen minutes, he made it over to our ships. ‘Wow-wee, would you look at that, looks just like the North Pole! We’ll be proud to fly around in that!’
‘Mr. Hope drew so much attention that we had completely ignored the ten other folks that had climbed out of the plane right behind him. From our position, they had looked like random new troops, but as they walked over to us, we started to notice them. The first six were older, about the same age as Mr. Hope, maybe in their fifties. The other six were younger, shorter, and wore their fatigues in a different style. We had been in the jungle for so long that we had almost forgotten what they looked like. These were girls, honest to goodness American girls! The lead one was Ann-Margret, boy she was a looker! She is a great singer too! One of the door gunners let out a catcall.
“Wolz quickly rebuked him, ‘At ease, soldier! Act like a professional.’
“Mr. Hope spoke up, ‘don’t be too hard on them, Lieutenant. This is part of why we’re here – to share some America with the boys in the field. These lovely young ladies are with us. They are some mighty fine dancers and love putting shows on for the boys. I think you recognized Les Brown and his band of Renowns. They’ve got some gear that needs to be loaded. Then we can get in the air and bring some Christmas cheer to the field!’
“A moment later an Air Force truck pulled up, pulling a series of small trailers behind it. The first truck piled high with black hard-sided travel cases. Instrument cases, drums, and a speaker system, everything rigged for portability. The second had standard GI duffel bags and a bag of golf clubs, which seemed strange at the time. Later I found out that Mr. Hope went everywhere with golf clubs. Our crewmembers jumped to work, quickly moving over the musician’s gear and the performer’s luggage. Wolz and I escorted them to the Sleigh-ride. The new name Peters had painted on the nose.
“We made short work loading the aircraft. Mr. Hope and his troupe were pros, most of them on at least their second or third of his famous Christmas tours. The gear was loaded, secured, and everyone gathered around Wolz for the safety briefing and instructions. Someone, I really do not remember who, passed out flight helmets to all the entertainers. Gear loaded and passengers briefed, everyone climbed aboard, and we started our pre-flight and warm up routine. Peters slipped into the Santa suit and assumed his post at the pilot’s side machine gun. Both ships took off, swinging south around the outskirts of Saigon before heading northwest to Cu Chi. Once we cleared the city a section of the Stingers joined us, flying cover in case anyone on the ground decided to get frisky.
“Our aircraft flew in low over the big base camp of Cu Chi. The USO forward team had set up a giant stage in the center of camp, hopefully far enough in that mortars couldn’t reach. We circled the camp a few times, Peters acting like a ham and waving to troops on the ground. Most stopped what they were doing, staring in disbelief at the strangely painted helicopter with a skinny Santa Claus hanging off an M-60. That flight in was a lot of fun. Mr. Hope plugged into the aircraft’s intercom system, so in between the sightseeing lessons Wolz was giving, he was firing off these hilarious one-liners. It’s wild to fly with a personal comedian.”
Ellie raised her hand, “What’s a one-liner?”
“Well, later in the tour, we took some fire. Once we were safely on the ground he joked, ‘Wow that was great! I got a twenty-one-gun salute as we came in. I think only three of them were ours!’ Another time he said, trying to rally the troops, ‘The country is behind you – fifty percent!’“
Ellie frowned, “those aren’t very funny jokes, and I don’t get them at all.”
Mr. Ed stepped back, “Wow, you’re a tough crowd. Guess most of the jokes had kind of a sarcastic approach – different kind of humor than you are used to today. We had plenty of slapstick too. One of the men in the band was a great gag actor, rubber chicken, and floppy hat, kind of like a clown. But, the real stars were Bob Hope and Anne-Margret. She would put on the beautiful gowns and sing a little, dance a little – really drive the men crazy. Anyway, we set down on the runway, as close as we could to the stage area. A couple of deuce and a half’s were waiting along with the General’s Jeep. A deuce and a half is what we call 2½-ton cargo trucks. You could tell it was his by the little flags with two stars on each fender. Sure enough, the commanding General of the 25th Infantry had driven to the flight line to meet and personally escort Mr. Hope back to the show. A platoon of grunts grabbed all their gear, almost in one shot, and loaded it onto one of the trucks before helping the rest of the USO crowd into the other truck. Mr. Les Brown motioned for our crews to come with them. We were not able to go with them this time, but we would fly them around plenty during the next two weeks, catching several of the camp shows between our other duties.
“Every time it was the same way. We would load everyone up and fly out. The Stingers would fly cover. Troops on the ground would go crazy, waving and laughing. We would land and be surrounded by anyone not on duty. The guys would fawn over the ladies, but most of them stayed professional – one or two brave fellows asking to dance, or for a kiss. Everyone would help set up the gear, then the entertainers would go to work bringing a taste of home and a change of pace to guys in the field. I do not know if Mr. Hope and his crowd realized how much those shows meant for so many people. It was really something to have them take time away from what should have been their cushy Hollywood lives to trudge into the jungle and be shot at just so some random GI’s could laugh for a few minutes.
“I will always remember that Christmas. The USO tour ended by the second week of December and we got back into the normal grind. Most of the guys were getting Christmas cards and some care packages. The mail was real sloppy. Sometimes things took a couple of weeks to get in from the states, sometimes two or three months. I never could figure out a pattern to it. It was just before Christmas when I promoted to an Aircraft Commander position. I would have my own ship and three crewmembers in my hands. That was an awesome responsibility. But, then again, lots of folks had awesome responsibility.
“All right, I think we are about ready to string these lights! Matt, can you stand on this ladder and use some of this electrical tape to secure one end of the lights? I’ll get on the other and run them around the rotor blades.”
They each climbed their respective ladders, pulling the green wire with miniature LED bulbs around the fifty-year-old rotor blades. The process was repeated three more times.
“There! Now to hook these four strands together. Stand back kids and tell me how it looks. This is the first pattern.”
The lights flashed randomly.
“Nope,” Ellie stated flatly, “that’s not right.”
Mr. Ed toggled the switch on the control box.
“Nope, they need to flash. That’s every light on at once.” Matt, informed him. Four more tries, and four flash patterns that did not look right.
“That’s it!” the four different strands were flashing, one after the other, creating a swirling effect. “The blades look like they’re turning!”
“Ed?” Mrs. Harrison asked from the front porch, “would you all like some hot cocoa? It’s a bit cold outside.” Mr. Ed looked down at his young helpers, “What do you think, guys, want a cup of cocoa to warm you up?” Both kid’s heads bobbed frantically, “Yes sir that sounds great!” He motioned them toward the porch, handing Matt the smaller folding stepladder and placing the other ladder under the Loach on the trailer. “Let’s go sit down for a minute. I want to hear about what Santa’s going to bring you.”
Later that night, after coming back from a family friend’s house, the kids pointed out the helicopter to their parents. “Look at that, Dad! We helped rig the blades, so they’d look like they were spinning!”
Then the kid’s squealed in delight, “and look at that!” Ellie screeched. She was pointing to a miniature inflatable helicopter, complete with a jolly elf pilot, blown up and placed next to the Loach.
“Looks like Mr. Ed had a surprise for you!” Mother teased.