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By the time we emerged from the big stone tub, our fingers were wrinkly and I was feeling a little shaky from the number of orgasms Milo had bestowed upon me. I was also decidedly hungry, having not eaten since the night before.
“There’s a breakfast shack at the end of the beach,” he told me. “It’s about a half-hour walk. Do you think you can make it without keeling over from hunger?”
“We’re going out?” I asked a little nervously.
He nodded. “Yeah, I thought it would be nice. It’s a really casual place with a great deck.”
“I thought we were staying here.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about going out to eat or how much conversation would be expected of me. New situations were always a little nerve-wracking, and I didn’t want to embarrass him.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me down next to him. “Seraphina, how long has it been since your accident?”
I thought for a moment. “About fourteen months.”
He nodded. “And since then, how many times have you been out? Other than to go grocery shopping, I mean.”
“Well, I have been out for coffee a few times with my speech therapist, and she took me to the museum as well.”
“Okay, let me rephrase that. How many times have you been out without a member of your medical team, like to eat out or go to a concert, or anything?”
I looked down at my hands, a little embarrassed. “Never, I guess. I just buy a takeout pizza once a week, but that’s not really going out.”
He looked satisfied with my response. “Well, that’s all going to change now. We are going to reintroduce you to the world of the living. Seraphina, there is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart.”
I shook my head vigorously. “Yes, there is. I have a brain injury, and I can’t talk properly, and I get confused....”
He put his finger over my mouth and cut me off. “Have you ever seen the Paralympics?”
I nodded. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this.
“Do you suppose for one moment that those athletes don’t go out because they’re afraid of what people might think?”
“No,” I said. I knew I hadn’t pushed myself, but there really had been no point. I didn’t have anyone to go out with, anyway. He was evidently not going to accept this situation.
“Okay, Seraphina. There are a few things I want to get straight: First, I suspect we are officially in a relationship now. I distinctly remember having sex with you several times since last night and I think we have definitely moved away from the casual zone.” He paused for a moment, looking for a reaction, so I smiled and squeezed his hand. Apparently reassured, he continued. “Second, I have not had a proper girlfriend for seven years—seven years, Seraphina! So, I’m pretty excited to have found someone who is not only beautiful but also wildly funny and smart enough to be running NASA. AND I WANT TO SHOW HER OFF!” he yelled.
He was being so adorable. There was no way I could refuse him, even though what he was saying sounded like complete madness to me. “Okay. I’ll give it a go,” I said uncertainly. “But don’t blame me if I embarrass you.”
“You won’t embarrass me, Seraphina. It’s just not possible. You need a few lessons from the Milo Grant Book of Charm.”
I laughed and shoved him, knowing full well that charm was not something he was noted for.
“Ha! So, you doubt me. Well, rule number one is called the art of not giving a fuck because, truly Seraphina, I don’t give a fuck what people think of you. I know the truth and if they’re too stupid to not realize how amazing you are, then they don’t count. Come on, let’s go.”
Half an hour later, we were seated on the deck of what Milo had referred to as a “shack”, but what was decidedly more upmarket than that. He was correct in that the view of the ocean was spectacular, and the place was pretty busy. The owner was a friendly guy in his thirties with dark brown skin and a beautiful smile. He seemed to know Milo well, and he’d greeted him warmly when we had arrived, leading us to his best table before disappearing to get our drinks.
I dithered about what to order, so Milo just waded in and told me what was great. He was sparkling and animated, so unlike how he was at work, and it was hard to be nervous with him by my side. I knew how much stress he was under on a daily basis, and I was sad that other people couldn’t see this playful side of him. He constantly told me what an asshole he was, and how that was what everyone thought of him as if he were proud of it, but I secretly thought it was a wall he put up. He was so accomplished; I wondered why he felt the need to hide his true self.
The owner, who I discovered was called Pip, returned with the drinks and pulled up a chair. “So, Milo. I’ve known you for two years and you have never brought a lady friend with you. So I have to ask, how in God’s name did you persuade this beautiful creature to come with you this morning? Did you bribe her? Pay her? Or maybe you kidnapped her...” He turned to me in a stage whisper. “Do you know what he’s really like?” I laughed, not feeling the need to give a response, and held on tight to Milo’s hand in a show of solidarity. Pip raised his eyebrows. “Okay, so introduce me, Milo. I’m intrigued.”
Milo sighed. “Pip, this is my girlfriend, Seraphina. Seraphina, this is Pip; he’s a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“Ah, beautiful name,” Pip responded. “Let the bright Seraphim.”
“Handel!” I said excitedly.
“Oh my God, Milo, you’ve hit the jackpot. Beautiful woman, beautiful name, and she knows classical music.”
Milo narrowed his eyes at him. “She’s also mine, Pip, so take your lecherous eyes off her and go get our food.”
Pip did not take offence at his rather harsh words but instead threw back his head and laughed loudly, as if he were enjoying Milo’s discomfort. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Seraphina. I think I’d better return to the kitchen before Mr. Jealous here decks me.”
“He likes you,” Milo said petulantly as Pip disappeared through the door to the kitchen.
“He’s just teasing you,” I soothed, rubbing his arm gently. “And besides, I like you,” I said emphatically. It amazed me how he could take offense at such a seemingly good-natured exchange. When he looked across at me, I could see the sadness in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I guess this is why I don’t have girlfriends. I’m not very good at it. I’m a complete asshole and eventually you’ll see that too and you’ll leave, just like everyone else.”
I turned my chair to face him, and I looked at him sternly. “Now you listen to me, Milo Grant. You are not an asshole. You’ve told yourself that over the years, and it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re a good man.”
“No one’s ever thought so in the past,” he grumbled.
I couldn’t believe that someone seemingly so confident and astronomically successful could have such low self-esteem. I thought back to what he had told me about his parents, and I couldn’t help thinking there was something deeper than what he had revealed. I reached over and smoothed the silver strands at the front of his hair. That seemed to get him out of his funk, and he smiled at me.
“You like that, don’t you?” he grinned.
“I do. It struck me the first time I saw you in that elevator. I wondered how it would feel between my fingers.” I continued to stroke it gently, and it seemed to soothe him. “It’s like silk,” I added, mesmerized by him in the same way I had been that first day. “You’re like Peter Pan, my beautiful lost boy.”
He shot me an incredulous look. “Peter Pan? Isn’t he a fairy or something?”
“He is absolutely not a fairy! He’s the boy who never grew up. He lives in a dream state between childhood and adulthood.”
“So, you think I’m childish?”
“I think you’re lost.”
He paused for a moment. “And are you going to save me, Seraphina? Is that your overarching plan?”
“Absolutely.”
His face softened, and he drew my hand to his lips. “Funny, no one has ever thought I was worth saving before.” He looked lost in his thoughts and then he said. “You are inherently good. Far too good for the likes of me.” He tapped his lap with his hand. “Come here.”
He apparently wanted me to sit in his lap, and I looked around cautiously at the other diners. He smiled at my hesitance. “Remember the Milo Grant Book of Charm? What was rule number one?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I whispered almost inaudibly.
He laughed. “I should make you shout it, but I won’t because I know that would embarrass you. Anyway, come on over.”
I slid out of my chair a little self-consciously and plopped myself down in his lap. Feeling his arms wrap around me, I rested my cheek against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. He grabbed my chin, lifted my face to him, and devoured me with a fervent kiss. It felt like time had stopped and the ferocity of his passion swept me away. Before I knew it, I was kissing him back with the same intensity. I didn’t care that we were in a restaurant, surrounded by strangers. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of being totally consumed by this man.
A round of applause shook me back to reality, and I swiveled around to see Pip holding our food with his mouth gaped open. The rest of the diners were grinning and clapping loudly; one guy even gave an enthusiastic whistle.
“I should hire you guys for customer entertainment,” Pip said, laughing as he deposited our plates on the table. “I take it back, Milo. You could never bribe a woman to kiss you like that. She’s got it bad for you.” He shot me a crafty wink as I tried to slink back to my seat, but my ardent companion held me in a vice-like grip.
Milo just grinned and looked like the cat who’d swallowed the canary. Despite my embarrassment, it was worth it to see that look on his face. He tucked my hair behind my ear and whispered softly, “Is that true, Seraphina? Do you have it bad for me?”
I struggled off his lap and positioned myself in front of my delicious-looking brunch, realizing that I was absolutely starving. “This looks good,” I said, purposefully avoiding his question.
“Hmm, looks great, but you never answered my question.”
“But it doesn’t make sense,” I argued as I swallowed my first mouthful, moaning with relief that I was finally getting some sustenance inside me.
“What doesn’t make sense?”
“To have it bad for someone—it doesn’t make sense. Shouldn’t it be, have it good for someone? Because it’s good, isn’t it?”
“Are you trying to avoid the question by applying logic?”
I nodded with a smirk. “Of course. Logic always wins. As a physicist, you should know that.”
I attacked my food with gusto, keeping an eye on Milo to watch his reaction. I could tell that my answer did not satisfy him, and I didn’t want to tease him. Something told me this was important to him. My lost boy had a fragile heart, despite appearances to the contrary. Setting down my cutlery, I grabbed his hand. “Yes, Milo. The answer is yes. I have it bad for you.”
His entire countenance changed, and his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. This was the real Milo, I decided. Not the one who stomped around Grant Innovations like the big bad wolf, causing nervous interns to quit the same day they started. He looked so much younger and a lot more peaceful, and at that moment, I swore to myself that I would put that look on his face as often as I could. He was fighting monsters the same way I was. They were just different monsters.