You’ve made a right hash of it, Liam my boy. That you have,” Colleen said from where she stood beside Jasper, looking out the window. Her great-grandson and the lady from Child Protective Services stood talking outside the carriage house. Neither Liam nor the woman appeared happy with the outcome of the visit.
But her great-grandson wasn’t the only who’d made a hash of it. Thanks to listening in on Sophie and Liam’s conversation, Colleen had finally remembered what had been bothering her the day of her passing. It had niggled at her that day just as it had from the moment she’d discovered Sophie had Mia.
Colleen had been watching the partygoers from her tower room that long-ago summer night. She’d seen Michael getting up to no good with Shay Angel, and, later, Liam leading Sophie from Kismet Cove. Right or wrong, she’d kept her own counsel. Her meddling had hurt too many people in the past for her to risk interfering. But her family needed her help now. She had to take the risk and make everything right.
Jasper, with his hands clasped behind his back, rocked on his heels.
“I’ll need your help with this, my boy. We have to move on it quick before hard feelings settle in too deep.” She took in the grimly concerned expression on Jasper’s face and smiled. “You have a soft spot for the girl now, don’t you? Oh yes, I figured out it was you spying the day Sophie told her story to Ava. Her struggles to raise a child on her own reminded you of your mother’s, didn’t they? You’d understand why she kept her secret better than most. You’ll do well by Sophie, Liam, and Mia. I know you will. Always could depend on you.”
She patted Jasper’s back, and her hand went through him. He stiffened, looking to where she stood. “It’s a right shame you can’t see or hear me. I’d share my thoughts on how to go about smoothing things over between Liam and Sophie. For now, you’re on your own. I’ll work on putting an end to Michael and Bethany’s wedding while you take care of them. Mia’s the key, my boy.”
Lying on the couch and watching cartoons with Mia would have qualified as a perfect day in Sophie’s eyes three months earlier. But she and her daughter weren’t companionably watching TV, and Sophie could barely keep her eyes open after another sleepless night. So her perfect day was pretty much a nightmare. Which was apropos since yesterday Sophie’s worst nightmare had come true.
Thanks to her meltdown, CPS would be dogging her every step, judging her every move. But if that’s what she had to put up with to keep Mia with her full-time, she would. She couldn’t let her mind go to that place without losing it. To a place where social services would take her daughter away from her.
She glanced at Mia sitting cross-legged on the area rug in front of the TV. When she’d overheard Sophie demand that Liam move out of the neighboring apartment, Mia had silently conveyed her anger for the rest of the day and night. She’d changed tactics this morning. Apparently she was pretending her mother didn’t exist.
“You didn’t eat all of your scrambled eggs, baby. Would you like some cinnamon toast?” It was her daughter’s favorite breakfast treat.
Mia stared at the TV.
“Okay, if you’re not hungry, why don’t we get started on your letter to Santa?”
Mia turned to give her a pointed stare so sharp it pierced Sophie’s heart. For the past two years, a daddy had topped her daughter’s Christmas wish list. Keeping Mia from Liam had no doubt cast Sophie as the Grinch in her daughter’s eyes. She didn’t know what to say to make Mia understand. Maybe when she was older…
A knock on the front door cut off the thought. Hope leaped into her daughter’s eyes at the same time Sophie’s narrowed with anger. She’d told Liam she’d contact him if and when she wanted to speak to him. She got up and walked to the door, jerking it open to give him hell for going against her wishes. The heated words stalled in her throat. “Oh. Hi, Jasper.”
“Miss Sophie.” His eyebrows rose almost imperceptibly. But he soldiered on as though her eyes weren’t swollen and bloodshot and her hair didn’t resemble a rat’s nest. She may have coffee stains on her pajamas too. “Since Master Michael and Ms. Adams canceled their meeting with you today, I thought perhaps you and Miss Mia would like to put up the outdoor lights with me.”
To think that, a week earlier, Sophie’s biggest fear had been meeting with Michael and Bethany. She supposed, if she had to look for some good in all of this, that would be it. She no longer had to worry about Michael and Maura taking Mia away from her or how Bethany would handle her role as Mia’s stepmother or that they’d cancel their wedding on account of the news. Yay for the good news, she thought. Only to be faced with the bad. Her daughter who loved all things Christmas hadn’t moved her gaze from the TV.
Sophie felt the burn in the back of her eyes. If Ms. Olivetti had evaluated Mia today, Sophie might have lost her daughter for good. It had been obvious the older woman thought the heroic firefighter would be a much better role model and parent than Sophie. She wondered if Jasper felt the same.
“Thanks, Jasper, but…” Sophie trailed off when he stepped inside, shut the door behind him, and took off his boots.
“Television off, Miss Mia,” he ordered in his familiar, brisk manner. “We have to get the decorations up before two. Helga is serving Christmas cookies with tea today.”
When her daughter didn’t respond or move, he walked to the TV, turned it off, and lifted Mia off the floor. Mia looked to Sophie as though expecting her to intervene.
But her daughter wasn’t the only one being managed by Jasper today. “Off you go, Miss Sophie. You have twenty-five minutes to get ready. The fresh air will do you good.”
By the time Sophie had showered and made herself somewhat presentable, Jasper had tidied the apartment and Mia was dressed and ready to head outside. Looking slightly less grumpy.
Sophie didn’t have much in the way of outdoor clothing and had layered a sweater beneath her black sweatshirt. She’d have to make do with her black rubber boots for footwear. She pulled them on and set off after Jasper and Mia. The air was cold and crisp. The sun sat high in the cloudless blue sky. Its warm rays melting the snow from the other day. Four large boxes awaited them on the front steps of the manor.
“Jasper, are you sure Kitty doesn’t mind us putting up the Christmas lights?” As far as Sophie knew, they hadn’t decorated for the holidays since Mary, Riley, and Ronan died.
“She understands that, with the manor hosting a wedding on Christmas Eve and Miss Mia in residence, compromises must be made.”
It kind of felt like his compromises comment was meant for her too. If she had any doubts, his raised eyebrows cleared them up. She ignored him and opened a box, forcing a bright smile for Mia. “Wow, look at all these lights, baby. We better…” A car door slammed and a familiar, deep male voice called, “Miller, get back here.”
Her eyes shot to Jasper when a barking golden retriever raced toward them followed by Liam. Jasper held her gaze and nodded at Mia. A wide smile lit up her daughter’s face, only to disappear when she glanced at Sophie. Stuffing her mittened hands in her pockets, Mia looked down at her feet and kicked at the melting snow.
Liam looked like she’d kicked him in the stomach. Then he turned his furious gaze on Sophie. In all the years she’d known Liam, she’d never seen him this angry. He was easygoing, charming, and calm. He was none of those things now.
He reached for the retriever’s leash when the dog went to jump on Mia. “Settle down, Miller.” Liam crouched in front of Mia. “Are you afraid of dogs, sweetheart?”
She shook her head without raising it.
“Perhaps you and Miss Sophie could go to O’Malley’s and pick up some lights for the carriage house. We only have clear bulbs to decorate the shrubs and trees at the front of the manor. I’m sure the little miss would prefer something more colorful.”
“Clear lights are—” Sophie began before Liam cut her off.
“Mia, your mommy and I are going to the hardware store. Will you look after Miller for me?”
Mia went to nod; then an anxious expression crossed her face when Sophie snapped, “Wait a minute. I never said—”
Liam stood up and took Sophie by the arm, talking over her. “We won’t be long, Mia. Your mom and I need to work some stuff out. It’s okay, sweetheart.” His quietly confident voice calmed the anxious look on Mia’s face. “Everything will be better when we get back.”
“How dare you promise her something like that,” Sophie said under her breath as Liam none too gently guided her to the parking lot.
“Have a care, Master Liam,” Jasper called after them.
“Always do, Jeeves.” Liam looked down at her as he beeped the unlock button on his key fob. “One way or another, this is getting settled today, Sophie. I don’t care if it takes all day and night. I won’t have Mia put in the middle of this.”
“Who do you think—”
He looked at her across the roof of the Jeep. “Her father. Get in.”
As much as she hated to admit it, Liam was right. Mia obviously felt the tension between them, and it was having a negative impact on her. Sophie got in the Jeep and buckled up. “I can’t do shared custody, Liam. And I don’t think it’s fair I’m being made out to be the bad guy in this because I’m unwilling to—”
“I’m not asking for shared custody,” he said as he started the engine.
“It’s obviously what Ms. Olivetti wanted me to agree to.” But the caseworker was wrong. Liam didn’t need time to build a relationship with Mia; he already had one. And it was better than her own with her daughter. “Because of how I reacted, I’m going to have CPS breathing down my neck for the next ten years.”
“No, you’re not. If you would have taken my texts or picked up your damn phone, you would have known that.”
“How do you not get that this has been really difficult for me, Liam?”
“Hate to break it to you, babe, but you’re not the only one having a difficult time. I just found out I had a daughter, Soph. I’ve missed out on the first seven years of her life. And my mom and sister, they never got the chance to meet her.”
“Oh God,” she whispered, her voice breaking on a sob. Of all the things he could have said to her, nothing hurt as much as that. Knowing that unintentionally she’d stolen something precious from him, from his mother and sister, broke her heart. She didn’t know how he could forgive her. If she could forgive herself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry—”
He reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You didn’t know. I shouldn’t have said that. Blame it on a lack of sleep.” His big hands twisted around the steering wheel; then he glanced at her, hesitating a moment before he asked, “Soph, what would have happened if, instead of assuming you knew it was me when you kissed me that night, I told you it was?”
“I would have…” The answer should have been simple, but it wasn’t. Her memory of that night had faded over time and was impaired by the amount of wine she’d drank, but the next morning when she’d woken up, she remembered smiling. Unlike the first time she’d had sex with Michael, that night she’d felt like she’d been made love to. And remembering how much she’d once loved Liam…“If you told me it was you, I might have…It wouldn’t have changed anything. I would have had sex with you.”
He nodded, a muscle bunching in his jaw. “I should have told you, and that’s on me. But I did tell you I didn’t have a condom. You said you were on the pill.”
“I was. Sort of. I was embarrassed to go to Dr. Bishop for a prescription. I didn’t want Nonna and Tina to find out. So my girlfriend gave me some of hers. Michael and I only had sex the one time, and I...” It was unfair to Michael to tell his cousin that first-time sex hadn’t been all it was cracked up to be, and she hadn’t been anxious for a repeat. “I didn’t take them consistently. So that’s on me.”
“We’re not keeping track. We both made mistakes. But Mia isn’t one of them. She’s an amazing little girl who doesn’t deserve to be caught in the middle. I’ve seen what Aidan and Harper’s custody battle is doing to Ella Rose. I don’t want that for Mia.”
“Neither do I. I’ve never once thought of Mia as a mistake. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. That’s why this is so hard, Liam. I just need a little time. Can we take it slow?”
“I don’t want to make this hard for either of you. I thought we’d take our cue from Mia. Let her decide how much time she wants to spend with me and when. At least in the beginning, and then we can work out a more formal arrangement.”
“Do you think CPS will be okay with that?”
“They’re not involved anymore, Soph. At least not formally. That’s what I was trying to get in touch with you about. Olive and I worked it out. I told her you’d had a rough couple of days, but that we’d figure out what was best for Mia together, and I’d let her know as soon as we have a plan in place. Other than that, all she wants is to be kept apprised of Mia’s progress.”
Sophie had spent the entire night worrying for nothing. All she’d had to do was pick up her phone. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”
“Thank Michael. He coached me on how to handle her. She wasn’t all that bad. She takes her job seriously. Can’t fault her for that.” He pulled into a parking spot half a block from the hardware store. Once he shut off the engine, he shifted in his seat to look at her. “She actually said something pretty interesting about Mia.”
“Good or bad?”
“Interesting. Now don’t take this as a criticism...” He gave his head a slight shake when she crossed her arms. “Soph, come on. Don’t get defensive. No one is doubting that you’re a good mother, but Olive had a case similar to Mia’s where the little girl wouldn’t speak. Like Mia, there was no medical reason, and it wasn’t psychosomatic.”
“Post-traumatic stress. Ever hear of it?”
“Living with it, babe,” he said, a sarcastic edge in his voice.
She briefly closed her eyes then reached out to touch his hand. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just…Please, tell me what Olive thinks is the problem.”
“Because you were as traumatized as Mia and blamed yourself, you were…are overcompensating. You’re smothering her, babying her, and she’s your sole focus.”
“So I’m feeding into it?” she asked, forcing herself not to get defensive.
“More or less. And so is Mia. She likes having all your attention and having you around twenty-four–seven. She’s smart enough to put two and two together. Is she stubborn?”
Sophie laughed. “Mia? Big-time. She inherited it from Rosa.”
His mouth twitched. “I was going to say she inherited that particular trait from her mother.”
She rolled her eyes. “So what did she suggest I...we do?”
He smiled. “She’s going to recommend a child psychologist. She also suggested registering her in school. I think it’s a good idea.”
“I know. It’s just hard for me to be away from her for that long. I get panicky. I’m afraid the kids are going to be mean to her because she won’t speak.” She looked down at her hand, twisting the seat belt between her fingers. “I really am part of the problem, aren’t I?”
“My bet is, as soon as your lives get back to normal, Mia will start talking. It hasn’t been that long. You’re just getting settled here.”
“But we’re not settled. Not really. And now, finding out you’re her father and how I’ve been acting, I’ve made it worse.”
“It’ll get better.” He lifted his chin at O’Malley’s. “Come on, let’s beat the rush.”
She looked at the sidewalk crowded with Saturday shoppers. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” She pulled down the visor and made a face at herself in the mirror. “Now I know it isn’t. I’ll stay here.”
He leaned across her and opened the glove box, handing her a pair of aviators. “Wear these. They’ll think you’ve gone Hollywood.”
“Yeah, until they get a look at my rubber boots and sweatshirt.”
“You’re not in LA anymore. People around here don’t care what you wear.”
He may have a point, Sophie thought as they walked into the store. The elder Mr. O’Malley stood behind the counter wearing a Santa’s hat and a flashing red bow tie that matched his suspenders. With his tufts of white hair at his ears and his mischievous grin, the diminutive Mr. O’Malley had always reminded Sophie of a leprechaun. The hardware-slash-general store had been one of her favorite places to visit as a little girl. It was just as crammed with a hodgepodge of merchandise as it had been back then. Its warm, honey-colored wood floors, shelves, and walls gave it a homey feel. The pot-bellied stove sitting in the middle of the floor scented the air, bringing back happy memories. As did the jars of old-fashioned candy beside the ornate silver cash register.
“Now there’s a sight I haven’t seen in a good long while. Sophie DiRossi and Liam Gallagher back together again. Where’s your sidekick?”
Liam and Marco used to bring Sophie in to spend her weekly allowance. “Hi, Mr. O’Malley. Marco’s working at the deli.” She glanced around and smiled. “Nothing’s changed. O’Malley’s looks as wonderful as it always did.”
He chuckled. “There’s been a few changes. Look, I still have your favorite.” He lifted the lid of a jar and dug inside to hold up a package of Wild Berry Pop Rocks.
“I haven’t had these in…wow, twelve years.” Feeling a little emotional, her smile wobbled as she took the candy from his gnarled hand. Life had been so simple back then.
“I heard you were back in town and brought them in just for you.”
Touched, she leaned across the counter and gave him a hug. “Thank you. I’ll be in once a week from now on. I’ll bring my little girl with me. She’ll love it here.”
“Better give us ten of them, Mr. O’Malley. If Mia’s anything like her mother, she won’t want to share.”
“A mini Sophie DiRossi...Now that’ll be a sight for sore eyes. You call ahead, make sure I’m here. Don’t have as much pep in my step as I used to.”
“Dad, are you flirting with the customers again?” A tall, handsome man wearing a white shirt with a black vest and pants carried a box to the counter. It was John, Mr. O’Malley’s eldest son.
“Why do you think all the ladies keep coming in? It’s not to look at your grumpy face,” Mr. O’Malley senior said to his son. “I’d have some competition if I could convince my grandsons to come back home.” He eyed Liam. “You should give Reece a call. Tell him you’ve moved back home. You and Sophie.”
John rolled his eyes. “Give it up, Dad.” Then he smiled at her. “Good to see you, Sophie. Folks in town are happy to have you home.”
“Thanks, Mr. O’Malley. I’m glad to be back.” And despite the past few days, she was. The O’Malleys’ warm welcome reminded her what she loved most about her hometown—feeling like she belonged, being part of a community.
Bells chimed over the door as three older women walked into the store. Mr. O’Malley straightened his bow tie and winked at Sophie before he turned his grin on them. “The good Lord’s smiling down on me today, bringing ladies as lovely as yourselves into my humble establishment,” he said, as he walked around the counter to greet the women.
John watched his father, an indulgent smile tipping up his lips. “The tourists love him. In about five minutes, he’ll be laying on the brogue so thick you won’t be able to understand him.” He glanced at Liam. “Don’t tell me Jasper sent you for more white lights. He cleaned me out this morning.”
Sophie shared a look with Liam. He smiled and gave his head a slight shake. Obviously he thought Jasper had set them up too. Since he was in only hours ago, he could have just as easily picked up the lights for Mia then.
“No, we’re here for colored lights,” he told John.
“I can help you out with that.” John lifted his chin. “Far end to the back. Give a shout if you need a hand. I’ve gotta keep an eye on the old man.”
It took a few minutes to make their way past the boxes and merchandise piled on the floor to the Christmas decorations.
“Big or small, twinkle or static?” Liam asked, holding up two boxes in each hand.
Sophie pushed the aviators on top of her head and leaned in. “Small and twinkle?”
He smiled; then his eyes narrowed at something on the shelf. “Isn’t this the elf Mia was playing with at the cottage?”
Sophie nodded. “She used to have one just like her. Do you think John would mind putting it on hold for…” She sighed when Liam added it to his growing pile. “You’re going to spoil her, aren’t you?”
“Me? Never.”
“Right…Hey, look at this. Mia would love it, and we wouldn’t have to put up a bunch of lights.” She held up a package that contained an eight-foot blow-up Olaf.
Liam frowned. “He’s kind of an odd-looking snowman, don’t you think?”
“It’s Olaf.”
“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”
“From Frozen. Remember, ‘Let It Go’?”
He laughed. “How could I forget?” Then his laughter faded, and a pained expression crossed his face as though he was thinking about their day at Mistletoe Cottage.
It had been an amazing day. Until it wasn’t. Then it hit Sophie that maybe “letting it go” was exactly what she had to do for all of them to move forward. She leaned into Liam and whispered, “I forgive you.”
A slow smile curved his lips. It wasn’t his you’re cute but annoying smile or his charmingly wicked smile. It was warm and wonderful and made her remember how much she’d once loved him. “I forgive you too,” he said.