INTRODUCTION

This book takes its name from the timeless advice that the Chinese philosopher Confucius offered to those who seek enlightenment: “The hardest thing of all is to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if there’s no cat.” That is, you better know what you’re looking for before you begin. Those who go in search of something whose nature is not entirely clear to them will not succeed in finding it. But what about those who find a black cat in a dark room even when no cat is there? Shall we say they are creative, innovative or maybe just illusionists?

And what about people who are shown the image of a black cat taken with a heat-sensitive camera, in an effort to convince them that it is indeed possible to find black cats, even in places where they ostensibly are not present? Should they dismiss the photograph as a fake devised by interested parties, or should they see it as an opportunity to broaden their minds about black cats in general, and such cats in a dark room in particular?

I was born in 1948, the year the State of Israel was founded, and I was raised and educated there. Like the state, I’ve experienced a lot: I studied engineering at the Technion and later graduated from the PMD program at Harvard Business School; I served as a naval officer with the rank of commander, created a leading management consultancy firm and was a member of Shimon Peres’ “100 days” team that prepared him to take the reins as prime minister; and I later formed the Evergreen investment firm that became a venture capital pioneer in Israel. In 2007, I left the business world to devote myself to writing and social activity. If there’s one thing I learned during these years of diverse experience, it is that the essence of military, business and philanthropy alike is people, and that the essence of people is psychology. Therefore, the black cats I’m searching for usually hide between the pages of extraordinary studies in the field of behavioral science.

This book presents some of the research findings that have been helpful in my personal journey. However, the choice of which research to present in the book is not arbitrary and is by no means a function of their scientific importance. Alas, the choice reflects the beliefs of the author and is designed to serve his worldview. Non-fiction writing in the Internet era entails curating thoughts, and non-fiction writing in the behavioral sciences ultimately entails curating studies in the field.

Nonetheless, other sources of insights and findings will be cited here that stem from authentic curiosity, untainted by the author’s biases. Is it important to distinguish between them? Not necessarily, if we understand that both types of sources stimulate thinking and that therein lies their primary importance. In any case, it’s worth remembering that time is the best curator, not the author, and that the overriding rule here is: what is important is not new, and what is new is probably unimportant.

Beyond the interesting findings of one study or another, the central question this book poses is: to what extent are we really bound by the experience of others and by these research findings? Are we part of a large audience of potential guinea pigs, whose inclinations are summarized in behavioral studies? Or rather, are we distinct individuals in this audience, endowed with the freedom of choice to behave differently? In other words, do we even have anything to learn from them, or do they apply to everyone around us, but not to us? Paradoxically, if you identify yourself in the research conclusions, as I do—even when they shed light on our less flattering sides, such as envy, vindictiveness, materialism or procrastination—you have the opportunity to learn from them, to draw conclusions, and to choose a path that will express greater responsibility toward your emotional wellbeing and the welfare of the society in which you live. If, on the other hand, you continue to feel that you’re so unique that the findings do not apply to you, you’ll perhaps miss an important opportunity to change, and for the better.

The book is divided into four sections, each with several articles.

In the section entitled The Life Worth Living, you’ll discover the damages of FoMO—the Fear of Missing Out. This fear of missing a social or other happening makes us dash frenetically from one electronic gadget to another. But the truly important question is whether we’re really missing something if, in any case, most of us are doomed to lead meaningless lives of mere spiritual survival.

In this section, we’ll also discover the limited importance of the test of the ultimate outcome, the blessed calm that humility engenders and ten rules to happiness that are all under our control, some of which are not self-evident.

The Why Smart People Make Stupid Mistakes section maps some of the prevalent biases that accompany our routine, everyday decisions. You’ll discover that we are almost strangers to ourselves, and that our statistical ignorance, when combined with excessive confidence, produces a volatile mixture resulting in erroneous decisions. Here too, humility, in typical shyness, raises its head and explains that wisdom is not knowledge. In fact, wisdom is a moral quality of those who recognize the limitations of their knowledge.

The All in Good Order section reviews some of the common human tools for making order in the chaos we encounter in life. Some of them are conscious, such as the “to-do” lists we prepare with obsessive diligence, and some are unconscious, like our inclination to attribute greater weight to the negative than to the positive. It turns out that negative events are etched more deeply in our brains than positive events, and most of the neurons in the areas of the brain linked to emotional activity hunt for bad news. But why?

Alone in the Crowd deals with the disruption of the historical balance between our desire to make an impact as individuals and our social need to belong. A unique combination of technological means and the erosion of social values, such as interpersonal trust, is paving the way to an era that has already been defined as the Narcissistic Era. Can the social pendulum still swing back into balance? This section also tries to address the question of whether we are more similar to or different from one another, and deciphers the roots of the disgust we feel toward a bitter rival.

Here are 50 studies (and stories) that spurred me to re-examine my worldview. Now, they’re yours too and I hope you’ll find yourself in them, as I did.