to the massive center island wearing skinny jeans and her my code is better than your code T-shirt. She looked exactly the same since the last time I’d seen her. Which, for some reason, shocked me to my core. After the monumental bombshell, I expected her to look… I don’t know, different. But maybe that was because I felt different.
“I know you’re still upset,” she said, her eyes seeking mine.
“No shit.” I laughed without humor. If I’d cursed like that a few weeks ago, she would’ve gone ballistic. Now? Uncertainty clouded her features, which was smart considering the emotions that were rushing back to me. It was like I was back in that medical wing hallway again, the foundation of my life evaporating out from under me.
“I would be upset too if the tables were turned,” she added. “But we need to talk.”
Yes, we did. I recognized that. But doing so while I was in a rage wouldn’t help anyone.
“I know what we did was wrong, keeping all this from you.” Aunt Viv glanced down, her lips thinning. “It was a tough situation for everyone involved, with intricate decisions that sometimes require time and experience to understand. But if you give me a chance, I think you’ll find we had our reasons.”
I was so sick of hearing these kinds of excuses. It’s too complicated. You don’t understand the Elementum world. Well, that’s because I’d never been given the chance to. What about my chance?
“That won’t make it right, I know that, but there’s—” Aunt Viv peeked over at the others across the hallway before lowering her voice. “There’s a great deal about this world that you don’t understand.”
“Because of you,” I whispered harshly.
“And your mother.” There was no heat behind her words. “I’m not trying to lay the blame solely on her, because we both know that’s not true and I’m done with the lying.”
I wanted to believe her, almost desperately so. Like a compulsion to find a harbor in this endless storm.
“When we were younger, Anna was captured by the Clinic. And as the years passed, we assumed the worst.” She swallowed hard. “I assumed the worst. So, when she finally contacted me, I was just so relieved to find out that she was still alive that I think… Looking back now, I think I allowed it to cloud my judgment.”
Aunt Viv’s gaze was lost in the past. “After we moved to Carnelian Bay, Anna made me swear to keep you away from all this. And for right or for wrong, I did.” She shook her head. “Then she got sick.”
I balled my fists. “But it wasn’t from cancer, was it? It was from not having the proper Stabilizers.”
“Whatever the Clinic subjected her to made it so that she no longer responded to the Igniter Stabilizers.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I tried to convince her to come back to Arc. That it was actually the safest place for all of us. But she… she wouldn’t go back.”
“Why?” I asked, even though the sinking feeling inside my chest told me I already knew the answer.
“Anna would’ve given anything for you to have a normal life.” Aunt Viv’s voice turned hoarse. “And in a way, she did. She knew that without the proper Stabilizers she would only get sicker, and that the longer we stayed in one place, the greater the chances were that the Clinic would find us. She knew the risks but chose to stay.”
For me. To give me a home. A normal life.
A wave of nausea rolled through me.
She looked away. “It wasn’t till close to the end that I found out about her intentions with the necklace and the suppressor oil.”
“Dispersing from the pinholes at the sun charm’s points.”
“Yes, the oil was released in small daily doses so that it could be absorbed by your skin.” Aunt Viv tapped her chest. “It was another sacrifice Anna was willing to make that I didn’t agree with.”
“Then why did you go through with it?” I asked, swallowing down the unpeeled pineapple lodged in my throat. “Why keep all the lies going?”
“I’ve wondered that myself a million times. I wanted to tell you. I planned to. But every time I tried,” her voice wavered, “it felt like a betrayal to Anna and everything she tried to protect you from. It was the one thing she fought so hard for and entrusted to me after she was gone.”
On a deeper level, I knew their protection only came from a place of love. But that didn’t mean I agreed with how they’d gone about it. Or make the aftermath any easier to deal with.
“So, you betrayed me instead.” I threw her own words at her. “Using the sentimental value of my mom’s gift against me and drugging me in the process.”
“You weren’t the only one being drugged.” Aunt Viv flung out her arms.
I frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
“With a limited supply of Stabilizers, I was forced to alternate between the two.” Her jaw clenched. “The suppressor oil allowed me to go longer without the Stabilizers, but it was a trade-off. It severely weakened my abilities and was the reason I had to rely on my lighter when the Recall Team attacked us back home.”
“That still doesn’t excuse what you did.” I crossed my arms, hugging myself tight.
“And if I could go back and do it differently, I would.” Aunt Viv grasped my arms. “You are my niece and I love you, but I’m not perfect. And I’ve only ever wanted the best for you. Please believe me on that.”
My throat threatened to close. They were simple words, but I hadn’t realized until now how much I’d needed to hear them. But they didn’t magically wipe away all the pain and lies or the fact that she had basically drugged me—for years.
I simply nodded, unable to utter the words I believe you and I love you too. Not yet, at least. There was still too much left that needed healing.
Hurt filled Aunt Viv’s face; clearly that wasn’t the response she had hoped for. “I understand I’ll need to earn your forgiveness, but we’ll find our way through this, like we always have.” She squeezed my arms before stepping back. “Especially once we get back on the road tomorrow.”
“What?” I straightened.
“Now that you know what’s going on, it’ll make it so much easier to hide this time.” She continued, seeming lost in thought. “I can find another consulting job and you can finish your GED. We can even figure out a way for you to go to college. It’ll have to be online, of course, but—”
“We can’t leave.”
Aunt Viv frowned. “Of course, we can.”
Everything suddenly felt like it was slipping away: the search for answers about my mom and whether she was still alive, all the training I still needed to do, and all the new friends I didn’t want to lose. I didn’t want to leave it all behind—not again. And what if the team didn’t find the Stabilizers for Asher? I couldn’t just leave him without knowing if he would be okay.
“I want to stay.” I held onto the island for stability. “Don’t you? Isn’t this your chance at a do-over?”
Aunt Viv flinched, no doubt remembering her you think I wanted this life? statement. “Emma, you don’t belong here.”
It was my turn to flinch, but I stood my ground. “I fit in here more than anywhere else we’ve been. Also, I’m almost eighteen.” I threw the age-of-independence at her. “So, if I don’t want to go, you can’t make me.”
“It’s not safe for you here.” Her voice lowered as she glanced across the hall. “Anna told me a long time ago that there was someone in Arc who couldn’t be trusted. That’s how she was captured by the Clinic in the first place.”
“What?” I looked across the way. “Who?”
“Someone higher up—so, no one who’s here right now,” she assured me. “Only she didn’t know who, but that’s one of the reasons she wouldn’t risk going back, especially since she had you to consider. As her daughter—and a Halfbreed—you’d be a prize for the Clinic.”
Thanks to Raine’s little geek-out about my genes, I fully understood how much the Clinic would relish the opportunity to study me. But if my mom had been willing to risk capture for me, then how could I not do the same?
I squared my shoulders as I geared up for the question I needed to ask—even if I wasn’t ready for the answer. “Tell me the truth: Is Mom still alive? Was she really killed by that Recall Team? Or was she recaptured?”
Aunt Viv’s eyes widened with shock. “Why do you…”
“No more secrets, remember?”
She hesitated before uttering four words that could potentially change my life forever. “I honestly don’t know.”
The walls of the armory closed in, and my heart pulsed somewhere in my throat. “Then how can you want to leave when—”
The door opened across the hall as the Breakpoint team finished their meeting.
Aunt Viv fixed her determined stare on me. “You are my top priority. I can’t go chasing after theories when we have no proof. Especially since Anna entrusted your safety to me. I won’t fail her again.” Then her voice hardened. “And until you are eighteen, I’m still your legal guardian and I make the decisions.”
“Hey, Viv.” Nova popped into the doorway wearing standard Arc tactical gear. The three copper-threaded bands that wrapped her sleeve signifying her Tech Ops Lead status. “I need to get you set up in the command center now.”
“Understood.” Aunt Viv looked back at me and whispered, “Be ready to leave first thing tomorrow.”