THE HON. KIM BEAZLEY
LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION

Mr Beazley, thanks for your time.

Very good to be with you, Bryan.

How are things going?

Very well thanks.

Are you busy?

I have been busy.

You’re on the road a lot, aren’t you?

I am. I’ve been in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Canberra.

And are you getting a good response?

By and large, yes. There are critics of course. Not everyone likes it.

There’ll always be critics, I suppose.

Exactly. But generally I think things are good.

You’re getting good notices in the press.

Yes. You need plenty of coverage. You can build from there.

It’s quite an achievement. How do you do it—the John Howard impression? Because you don’t look very like him.

No, but I’ve lost some weight and the John Howard impression’s not the only thing I do.

I know but that’s what you’re best known for. How do you think your way into the character?

I’ve looked at John Howard for a long time. I studied the way he talks, the sort of things he says, the way he stands.

What sort of things does he say?

He has quite conservative views. He’s all for big business. He’s a nationalist; he’s very big on the army.

Yes, you’ve caught all those things perfectly.

He’s very keen on the popular media; he’s on talkback all the time.

Just like you. It really is uncanny.

He gets photographed a lot at sports events.

Yes, he’s got that Australian tracksuit.

Yes, the one under his suit?

Yes.

Yes, I’ve got one on order. He’s got a right-wing position on social issues like race and gender, sexuality.

You’ve got those pretty well now too.

I think the key is to keep expressing a concern for Australian families.

Yes, it’s a great smokescreen, isn’t it?

It’s brilliant. No one knows what it means and I tell you what, when you do it, you can hear a pin drop.

I bet you can. You do it very well. You’re very good at that. Have you ever met him, the real John Howard?

Yes, we bump into each other from time to time.

Does he like what you do?

He loves it.

He’s a fan?

I saw him this week, Monday I think it was. It was in Adelaide.

What did he say?

He’d seen the thing I’d done on uranium.

Was he nice about it?

He said even he couldn’t tell the difference.

High praise. That’s great!

He actually congratulated me on it publicly, on Tuesday.

He did. You must be chuffed.

It doesn’t get any better than ‘I congratulate Mr Beazley on his courageous stand on the question of uranium’.

Mr Howard, thanks for your time.

Ha ha ha ha. Got you there, Bryan.

God he’s good.