MR NOBBY CLARK
MANAGING DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL
AUSTRALIA BANK
Nobby Clark, thanks for joining us.
Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here.
Nobby, you understand the economy.
We certainly do. We run it.
Will interest rates go up?
Difficult to say.
Will they go down?
No.
Well, will they stay the same?
No.
So they’ll go up?
Very, very difficult to say.
In simple terms, what’s wrong with the economy?
We have a slight problem in the current account at the moment.
What exactly is the current account?
The current account? Well, down one side you’ve got all the money Australia spends through importing, and on the other side you’ve got all the money Australia earns through exporting.
What’s the position at the moment?
The position at the moment is that we’re currently importing more than we export.
By how much?
By about two thousand million a month.
Whose fault is that?
It’s your fault.
How can it be my fault? I don’t import anything.
You’re spending too much. The economy is overheated.
Well how can I not spend? Everything costs a fortune.
You’re importing too much. Are you buying Australian?
Yes, by and large.
Your clothes, for instance—are they Australian?
By and large, yes.
Do you drive a car?
No. I’ve got a Holden.
Have you got a CD player?
Yes, I have.
Have you got a television?
Yes, of course.
Have you got a computer?
Yes.
Are they Australian?
No.
Why not?
They don’t make those things here.
Well, what have you got that’s Australian?
I’ve got a blue pullover.
From Australian wool?
Yes.
A hundred per cent?
Yes.
An Australian one hundred per cent fine wool jumper?
Yes.
Where did you get it?
Italy.
What else are you importing?
Nothing. More to the point, what are the banks importing?
We’re not importing any goods at all.
Do you import profits?
No, we don’t need to import profits.
Why not?
We’re doing very nicely, thank you.
Well, do you import losses?
Import losses? How would we import a loss?
By running a bond market in Europe and running up debts so you owe money outside Australia.
Oh, I see—exporting part of our profit and diminishing our tax obligations.
Yes. Do you do that?
I’ve heard of that being done.
By you, Nobs?
I believe it was us I heard of doing it, yes, although I’m speaking from memory.
How much?
About one thousand million a month.
Who’s going to pay for all this?
Ask me the first question again.
Nobs, are interest rates going up?
(Nobby winks.)