THE HON. PAUL KEATING
CELEBRATED BACKBENCHER, PREVIOUSLY
WORLD’S GREATEST TREASURER

Mr Keating, thanks for joining us.

Thank you for inviting me in.

You’ve had some pretty damning things to say this week about the performance of the government.

Well, I’ve just been fulfilling a few speaking engagements I promised I’d do a while ago.

How many?

About fifteen or sixteen a day.

You don’t see this as an attempt to destabilise the government in any way?

I’m a member of the government, why would I do that?

What are you saying?

I’m saying that the country is being destroyed by the economic policies of the government in the past six weeks.

Just the past six weeks?

A million people are unemployed in this country at the moment, think about what that means. One million people have got no job, no wage, no income…

Yes, but Mr Keating, where did all this unemployment come from?

The policies of the last six weeks.

Mr Keating, you were the Treasurer for the past eight years.

I was. It took me eight years to get the economy of this country to stand on its pedestal and six week later it’s gone.

Well what are you suggesting be done about it?

We’ve got to decide what a government is in this country; a government is the people in a democracy. We’ve got to support one another. It’s time for compassion, is what I’m saying.

Well, what can the government do about the unemployed?

We’ve obviously got to create about a half a million jobs.

Yes, but how are you going to pay for it?

Think about what you’ve just said. Is the camera on me?

Yes.

Is the camera on me right now?

Yes.

(Even more weightily.) Can we afford not to, is my question. And I’m only talking about the registered unemployed. A lot of people don’t register, they don’t show up in the unemployment figures.

What sort of people?

Women, blacks…

Are you a feminist, Mr Keating?

I am a fairly radical feminist, yes, no point in hiding it. Why should I hide it? Is the camera on me?

Yes.

(Eyes flicking between interviewer and camera.) Fifty per cent of the people in this country are women. What chance do women have in this country? Let me ask you what chance do women have? Have you seen the education system in this country?

But Mr Keating, what are you suggesting?

We need a new education system.

What will that cost?

To hell with what it costs! Where are we going to get in this country if all we can think about is money? This is ridiculous, look at the position with blacks. Now I’m not going to tell you, I’m not going to sit here and tell you, that I’m a full-blood Koori; I’m not a full-blood Koori. But for heaven’s sake. Children…

Well, what about the children?

Is the camera on me?

Yes.

Babies, many of them, very small, tiny, doe-eyed, innocent…

Yes but Mr Keating…

…wonderful, helpless, darling little babies… But Mr Keating, what should we be doing about them?

Ice-cream, in my view. Possibly jelly.

What did you do with these issues when you were Treasurer?

I created a bold new society in this country and that’s something I’m very, very proud of.

What have you been doing in the last six weeks then?

Well, as I say, I think I’ve worked out how to fix it.

Mr Keating, thanks for joining us.

Thank you.