THE HON. JEFF KENNETT
PREMIER OF VICTORIA
Mr Kennett, thanks for coming in.
I’m the Premier of Victoria.
I know.
You say, ‘Thanks for coming in, Mr Premier.’
Mr Premier.
Yes. ‘Sir.’
Mr Premier, sir.
Yes. ‘Your worship.’
Mr Premier, sir. Your worship. Thanks for coming in your worship, sir.
That’s a great pleasure.
You’ve gone off a bit…
No I haven’t.
You’ve gone off a bit…
No I haven’t.
You’ve gone off a bit…
No I haven’t.
Do you mind if I finish?
Fine.
You’ve gone off a bit half-cocked with this…
No I haven’t.
Hang on. I haven’t finished.
You’re very slow. This is a terribly long time for me to go without talking.
This bid to host the 2002 World Cup soccer final.
Yes.
Did you realise you’re in direct competition with the Australian Soccer Federation?
Who are they?
They run the game of soccer in Australia.
That’s what they think.
Did you think this through?
What do you mean ‘through’? You don’t think things through. You think them up. We thought this up.
Who did?
Ron Walker and myself.
Who’s Ron Walker?
He runs the government…
No, he doesn’t.
No, he doesn’t run the government but he’s a member of the government…
No, he’s not.
No, he’s not, technically he’s not, but he’s been elected to…
No, he hasn’t.
No, he hasn’t, but he helps me think things up.
What sort of things?
Well, we’re putting a Grand Prix track through a public park.
That’s a good idea.
Oh, you’re with a cigarette company, why didn’t you say so?
I’m not with a cigarette company.
I’m sorry. I thought you said it was a good idea to stick a Grand Prix track in a public park.
Why would I have to be with a cigarette company to think that was a good idea?
Why would anyone else think it was a good…no, it doesn’t matter.
What sort of park?
A suburban park.
What, with a lake and trees and ducks and things?
No, no, with pitstops and oil spill and a fair bit of high-pitched mechanical screaming.
But no ducks?
Not if they’ve got any brains. We’ve solved the problem of the trees too.
Why don’t you just knock them over?
You do work for a cigarette company, don’t you?
No, no, I just wonder how you can run a Grand Prix track through a park without taking the trees out of play.
Which cigarette company do you work for? (He calls off.) Ron, there are three of us now.