SENATOR ROBERT HILL
MINISTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT

Senator Hill, thanks for your time.

It’s a pleasure.

You’ve been in New York representing Australia at the United Nations Earth Summit.

Yes, that’s right. I addressed the conference on Monday.

Why?

John Howard was at the cricket.

No, I mean why was Australia speaking at the conference.

Well, the world is very worried about greenhouse gas emissions, as you know, and if we’re not very careful they’re going to do something about it.

What will they do?

They want to get everyone to reduce greenhouse emissions.

How?

They’re trying to get everyone to agree to targets for doing it.

Wouldn’t that affect our economy?

That’s exactly what I said to them. I’m the Minister for the Environment.

I mean, mightn’t that reduce profits?

Yes, particularly in the mining industry, where you’re digging a hole the size of the harbour to yank some bauxite out or something. You can’t do that without doing a bit of burning.

And you’ve got to keep mining going of course.

Of course I do. I’m the Minister for the Environment.

It’d cost jobs, wouldn’t it, if we reduced greenhouse emissions?

It would. We can’t afford to do it.

One adult in three is on a benefit in this country already.

Good God! One in three? When did this happen?

Now. That’s the position now.

One in three?

Yes.

We’d better burn some more fossil fuels.

Will that help?

Yes, that’s what I was arguing for in New York. If we reduce greenhouse gas emissions we’ll lose jobs.

So if we can increase them, we’ll get more jobs.

It’s worth a try.

Have you talked about this with John Howard?

He’s very, very concerned about all this, of course.

Have you discussed it with him?

No, he was at the cricket.

Who’s behind all this reduction nonsense?

Well, the European countries are very keen on it for some reason.

On saving the world?

Yes, they’re obsessed. You should have heard Tony Blair and Helmut Kohl. You’d think saving the world was the most important thing on earth.

What about in our region?

Oh. We couldn’t give a toss.

I meant in the Asia-Pacific.

Well, there are some islands in the Pacific that are disappearing, but nothing serious. We’re all right.

Why are their islands disappearing?

I’ve got no idea. I’m the Minister for the Environment.

These are the people who say the sea is getting higher.

Yes, but I’ve heard of the high seas before. I used to read about the high seas when I was a kid.

Aren’t they saying that the greenhouse emissions heat the atmosphere and the polar ice-caps melt?

I don’t know. Not really my area. I’m the Minister for the Environment.

Don’t you get information coming in about this all the time?

Oh I don’t open my mail.

Why not?

John Howard was at the cricket.

Thank you for your time.

He normally wouldn’t open it himself. But he wasn’t there.

So you didn’t open it?

I didn’t even admit it had arrived.

Thank you.

I’m the Minister for the Environment.