THE HON. JOHN HOWARD
PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA

Mr Howard, thanks for your time.

Well, very nice to be with you, thank you.

I wonder if I could ask you about the huge turnout for Corroboree 2000?

Yes, certainly. What was the name of the team again?

Corroboree 2000. You know, the reconciliation movement, the walk across the bridge?

Ah, yes, I recall something of the type.

Did the enormous response surprise you?

No, not really. I’m speaking from memory…I think I spoke at it, didn’t I?

Yes, you did. You had the opportunity to apologise too, didn’t you?

This was the thing where a whole lot of people were given the wrong map.

A faulty map?

Yes, they were obviously under the impression I was going to be giving a speech from the rear of the hall. They were all facing the wrong way.

Every time I looked up…

They had their backs to you?

All I could see were the backs of people’s heads and lots of hats.

Maybe the acoustics were bad?

Frankly, I didn’t like the look of any of them.

Mr Howard, did you see the speech as an opportunity to offer an apology?

I saw the speech as an opportunity to express some concerns I think a lot of people have about apologising for something that they didn’t do.

But the apology that’s required isn’t about your personal responsibility for what happened.

That’s good, because I haven’t done anything wrong.

Isn’t what’s required, Mr Howard, an acknowledgment that what happened did happen?

Well, look, if something happened, obviously somebody did it. And it wasn’t me!

You don’t have to be the one who did something to feel sorrow for the people it happened to.

Good, OK, can we talk about something else now? Much though I have enjoyed the thrust of your early questions.

Mr Howard, you recently went to the battlefields of France?

I did, yes. I visited a number of Australian graves and…

You said you were sorry that they’d lost their lives.

It was a tragic loss of life, absolutely tragic.

Did you kill them?

I beg your pardon?

Did you kill them?

No, of course I didn’t kill them. What do you mean, ‘Did I kill them?’

How can you be sorry for something you didn’t do?

Oh, this is completely different.

Why is it different, Mr Howard?

Well, you yourself said this was in France. It’s not even in Australia. It’s a completely different country. It’s off the coast somewhere.

Do you think anyone actually agrees with you on this issue? There were a lot of people on the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Plenty of people agree with me.

Who?

Well, look, my wife’s brother works with a woman whose husband is a mechanic at a hospital. The person who runs the hospital, his sister knows a bloke who agrees with every aspect of what I say about this really rather complex question.

Can we ring him?

Certainly, we can ring him. I was talking to him earlier.

And he agrees…

He agrees absolutely with everything I say.

OK, it’s ringing.

(Howard’s phone rings.) Excuse me for a moment. Hello?

Hello. Mr Howard.

Yes, can I ring you back, mate? I’m just doing an interview. (He hangs up.)

Who was that?

I don’t know, but don’t worry about him.

Why not?

The GST’ll get him.