Boobs. In the words of the Bloodhound Gang, hooray for boobies.
I have two. They are OK. Not amazing, but not terrible. I have hoisted them in bras, fed three babies with them, wished they were bigger and felt them for lumps, because lumps are the serious side of boobs. My grandma died of breast cancer when I was eleven. I still miss her now.
When I was asked to write about my relationship with my breasts I was a bit perplexed. I love them and yet, it’s complicated. Like most girls I have not always reacted in a positive way to my boobs. When I was about ten or eleven the first girls in my class began ‘developing’, as we called it, and began needing to buy their first bras. I found most of the process mortifying. Cuddling my parents was harder as the new existence of a chest came between us figuratively and literally. I felt I was betraying them by not being a little girl anymore. I then started wearing training bras which my dad – probably pretty mortified himself – called ‘bib tops’. This was pretty cringey.
As I entered my teens I began to embrace my new curves a little more. They weren’t going away so I knew I’d better get a handle on them. Aged about thirteen I remember asking my mum if I could go and get a real bra. We finally went to get one and I was a 34D. I felt rather smug about that as she hadn’t thought I needed a bra yet. Bib tops were still OK by her. Suddenly – ha! I had a proper bra size and they sounded like they weren’t too small, either. This was what I wanted, right? My friends and I then proceeded to spend most of our late teens wearing Wonderbras. It seemed to be that we all wanted a killer cleavage. God, Wonderbras were uncomfy. Fortunately my twenties introduced me to getting properly measured, balconettes, comfort and a happier, less aggressive rack. I haven’t looked back except for the times after having my babies when I have endured the joy of nursing bras. Until that point, you don’t think there’s going to be a time in your life when you will wear whatever it takes to get your boobs out whenever and wherever you are just to feed that baby.
I think all sizes have pros and cons. I have experienced mine big and small. With my pregnancies I’ve got to try out having really massive boobs. Quite fun and I always miss them a little when they go. That being said, what I have now is fine. A handful but not out of hand.
So what’s round the corner? Hopefully we still have some fun times ahead. I will still be hoisting them in bras, possibly feeding another baby with them one day and checking them for lumps. When all is said and done it’s the serious side of boobs it comes down to. I hope they stay healthy. I really do miss my grandma.