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JUDE LINGERED LONGER than she should have, shifting her weight from one foot to the other while the two women huddled at the curb. Despite the brave face she’d put on for Sky, her old friends fear and anxiety sat on each of her shoulders. What if he didn’t come back? She pushed the thought away as soon as it popped into her mind. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to be calm against the worry brewing in her stomach. It shouldn’t take long. He’ll be back in less than fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, right? Right? God, she hoped so. Please.
When she turned around, the two women were holding each other close in spite of the oppressive heat. The blonde woman with the coat sobbed tonelessly while the brunette woman squeezed her shoulders in what looked like a bone-crushing embrace. Still holding the pistol in her hand, she took a step toward them. They both jumped, staring at her with wide, frightened eyes, as if she were a zombie herself.
Jude closed her eyes briefly, fighting for composure. With Sky gone, she was in charge now. It was her job to make sure everyone remained calm.
“I’m not going to shoot you.” She shoved the gun back in its holster and pushed the corners of her mouth up in what she imagined was the worst smile ever. “I promise, I’m not.” Placation had never been her strong suit—she preferred to distance herself from people who were out of control—but in this circumstance she had no choice.
“Yeah, right.” Louise’s dislike showed on her face, the way she frowned when Jude spoke to her. “You don’t look too stable to me.” She spat on the ground and pulled Deenie closer. “You’re a fucking time bomb.”
Deenie patted Louise’s arm. “Lou, come on, don’t do that.”
Jude pressed her lips together, resisting the urge to slap Louise in her smug, freckled face. Too many personalities in one house wasn’t going to work. She glanced up the street again, searching for Sky. He should have been back by now.
“Let’s go inside,” Jude said, no enthusiasm in her voice. If Sky didn’t come back, it would be her and the ladies, so she might as well get used to it. She grimaced with distaste.
Louise and Deenie stared at her, not moving. With one last look up the street, Jude turned and marched to her front porch. If they followed, they followed. If not, then there were plenty of other houses to choose from. The scuff of soles on the blacktop indicated they had managed to swallow their suspicions.
Besides, what other choice did they have?
* * * *
JUDE HANDED DEENIE a bottle of water and placed the other bottle on the dining room table in front of Louise. They cried and whispered to each other. Jude moved to the living room, not desiring to intrude on their private moments. Unable to sit still, she revisited the porch, staring down the street into the deepening gloom until her eyes watered with the strain. The sun was lower, spreading reddish light through the deserted neighborhood, but no signs of Sky.
Adrenaline and uncertainty made her jumpy. She wanted to go looking for Sky, to search every backyard on the block until she located him. But she couldn’t leave these stupid girls here unattended.
When she came back inside for the third time, Deenie gave her a mournful look. She was so thin and small, hunched inside the coat, that Jude felt a surge of sympathy in her chest that overpowered her nervousness.
“I hope your husband is okay.” Deenie gave her a small smile. Louise just stared, offering no words of sympathy.
Save it, Jude wanted to say to Deenie, but she nodded, tears stinging her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she said, “He’ll be back any minute now.” Her voice shook, and she turned away to wipe her face.
“Where are you two from?” she asked in an attempt at friendliness. Might as well have some conversation. Sitting around in silence never accomplished anything. “Are you hungry? There’s plenty of add-your-own-water food around here.”
Jude pushed her worries aside and played the part of pleasant hostess, anything to keep away the gnawing fear that Sky wasn’t coming back. She strode to the kitchen and began rustling through her bags of trail mix, bringing the bounty of dried food to her reluctant guests.
“So where are you all from?” Jude tried her conversation starter again, desperate to fashion some sense of normalcy out of the situation. The smile was making her jaws ache. She popped a piece of dried fruit in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed it without pleasure or taste.
Deenie pulled the overcoat around her, played with the label on the water bottle. “We’re from Breslin, up in North Jersey.” Her voice was soft. Deenie brushed a strand of hair out of her face with a shaky hand. “We were there for a while, hiding out. Then we wanted to make a break for it, get out of there before things got too heavy.”
“Brian wanted to find some survivors.” Louise jumped in, her brash voice a marked contrast to Deenie’s. Her dark hair was long and stringy, scraped back in a ragged ponytail. “He wanted to join up with other people.” She fiddled with the diamond stud in her ear. “Maybe not such a good idea.”
Jude kept smiling and nodding, barely comprehending the words.
Deenie guzzled the last of her water and reached for Louise’s bottle. “He thought we would be able to find some sort of government camp.”
Louise said, “They’ve got to be out there somewhere. The government hasn’t collapsed totally. I’m sure they’ve got the president in a bunker until they figure out a cure.”
“If there even is a cure.” Jude paced to a boarded window and peeked through a crack. Nothing. Dusk had fallen, the world outside submerged in shadows. Something had happened. It must have. She barricaded the door and lit the lanterns.
Her heartbeat slowed until it was moving at a snail’s pace, then became so erratic she had to sit down on the sofa to catch her breath. He’s not coming back. Squeezing her hands together, she dug her nails into her opposite palm, hoping the sharp physical pain would keep her from breaking down.
Deenie looked more frightened than ever. Louise simply looked angry. They must suspect she blamed them. If they had stayed their asses up wherever they came from, or taken another route, things would be so different. She’d be buzzing right now, light-headed with weed, tracing the tattoos on Sky’s arms, comfortable in their own little cocoon, making plans to move on.
None of the women spoke. Jude tugged at her hair and walked into the kitchen. Like a busy den mother, she began distributing more packs of trail mix, freeze-dried meals, and desserts. After passing out utensils and more bottles of water, she brought them to the door of the basement.
“You can sleep down there. I’ll get water for you to wash up with in the morning. I’m going to sleep. Please do not come upstairs in the middle of the night, or I will shoot you. If you need me, and you have to think very carefully if you really, really need me, yell for me from the bottom of the stairs. Is that clear?”
Louise sucked her teeth. “Why do we have to sleep in the basement? Why not the living room? You have two couches.”
Jude grasped the butt of the pistol on her hip. “Because it’s my house. If you don’t like it, you can sleep outside or find your own damn house. There’s plenty of them on the street.” She was snarling, and she tried to back off, calm herself down. The nerve of this woman! “Any other questions?”
They both shook their heads, their eyes wide. These people were literally off the street, refugees whom she took at face value, believed their stories. They could easily kill her in the middle of the night for kicks. Was she being foolish, too trusting?
Damn you, Sky. Infecting me with your do-gooder teacher germs.
Let them kill me, she thought, walking through the living room. Who cares?
Louise spoke. “Thank you for taking us in.”
“Yes.” She waved her hand. “Go on.”
They made their way downstairs, and she locked the door behind them.
Jude climbed the stairs to her bedroom, her feet heavy on each tread. She’d lied to them. She wasn’t going to sleep at all.
* * * *
ALONE IN THE BEDROOM, she sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, her head in her hands. Before the tears could come, she grabbed a joint from the box, lit it, and took four heavy hits in quick succession. She wanted her head to be out of this nightmare, at least for a little while. A hot breeze wafted through the windows, bringing with it the almost sweet summer night smell. She took another three hits before stubbing out the joint in the ashtray. The drug’s effect was immediate, and she was floating, blissfully detached from reality. A dreamy smile spread across her face as she stripped down, leaving on her panties and tank top. Gun tucked underneath her pillow, flashlight on the nightstand, she lay back on the pillow and let herself drift, too stoned to cry.
* * * *
SCREAMS WERE NOTHING new. They visited her often enough when she slept. Jude rolled onto her side, her hand going to the gun under her pillow in an automatic gesture, knowing the screaming in her head would soon stop. But when they continued, bone-chilling shrieks that tore through the house, she jerked bolt upright in the bed, heart slamming painfully against her ribs.
“Sky?” Sleep and pot made her groggy, and she spoke his name before she realized he wasn’t there. She would have to handle this one on her own.
Jude scrambled out of bed, jammed her legs into her jeans, and stomped into her boots as the screaming continued.
Good Lord, what now? She snatched up her gun and galloped downstairs, jumping the last six treads into the living room.
In the time it took her to unlock the basement door, the screaming had risen in pitch, assaulting her ears with a shrill, tense sound that scraped her nerves. It sounded like someone was being murdered down there.
“Not good,” she muttered to herself and forced her shaking legs to take her the rest of the way.
There was a lantern burning in the far corner, leaving much of the basement in shadow, and for that she was grateful. Deenie, free of her bundles of clothes, now had Louise by the arm, her teeth tearing at the flesh of Louise’s hand and wrist. Though Louise screamed and kicked at her, Deenie wouldn’t let her go.
Jude stared at the mess in front of her, unable to speak. She should have checked Deenie for bites. She should have noticed all the water she drank. She’d been so wrapped up in Sky, whether he was coming back or not, that she had neglected the simplest precautions.
She was stupid for trusting them.
“Don’t fucking stand there, you stupid bitch!” Louise’s face was a mask of horror and pain. “She’s killing me!”
You’re already dead. Jude walked purposefully over to where the two women were locked in combat. The smell of blood was rich and thick, like a disgusting soup left to fester on the back of a stove. She swallowed the bile gathering in her mouth. As if in a dream, she extended her arm and nestled the muzzle against the back of Deenie’s matted blonde hair.
The report of the gun was loud in the confined space, and Deenie dropped motionless at their feet. Jude bent and pulled the trigger again, blowing most of Deenie’s brains out onto the cement floor. Double tap. She smiled, pleased she had only used two bullets. Waste not, want not. Jude sucked in her breath and put a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.
Jude met Louise’s gaze, her gun hand still vibrating, the smile fading. Louise took a step backward, realization and fear dawning on her face. Jude was going to shoot her. There was no saving the injured woman. She had been bitten. Period.
“We can do this one of two ways, Louise.” Jude spoke past the ringing in her ears. “I can bandage you up and put you out.” She raised the pistol slightly, and Louise retreated another step. “Or I can shoot you right here.”
“You’re a crazy bitch, you know that?” Louise cradled her injured hand with the other, both pressed against her midsection. Her voice was screechy with fear. “You and your husband. Shooting people. Murderers. Just because we’re bit, doesn’t mean we’ll turn.”
A few hours ago, Jude had contemplated how it would feel if she knew she was going to die. Now, she understood how it felt to know she had to kill someone. “Louise, you know how it is. It can’t be helped. Brian knew that. What’s your choice?”
The blood dripping from Louise’s hand and arm made a pattering sound on the floor.
“Crazy.” Louise’s voice had lost much of its force. “You’ll be alone. Your husband is gone, dead. You’ll be alone.”
Jude nodded in grim recognition of her fate. “I know, Louise. I know. I’ll be alone.” Her words were heavy with resignation. Back to square one. “Don’t force me to make the choice for you.”
“You won’t shoot me.”
Jude sighed. Not this crap. “Louise. Make no mistake. I will shoot you. Choose, or I’ll do it for you.”
Without another word, Louise bared her teeth. As she turned away from Jude, she slipped in the pool of blood seeping out of Deenie’s shattered head. She pinwheeled her arms in a desperate attempt to keep her balance but failed. Falling backward, Louise let out a howl that came to an abrupt end when the back of her skull slammed into the concrete floor with a sharp crack. Flying droplets of blood spattered Jude’s face.
Jude looked down at her feet and saw that she too, had been standing in the creeping puddle of fluids. She made a disgusted sound and inched sideways, out of the sticky liquid. Hefting the gun in her hand, she eased closer to Louise’s prone body, watching for any signs of life. She leaned over, gun pointed and ready. To add to her horror, Louise was staring at her, eyes wide and bulging as she struggled to get up, to turn over.
“Please don’t.” Her voice was ragged. Jude swallowed a few times before she was able to aim the gun, more unintelligible sounds coming from Louise’s mouth.
She’s talking to me! Oh God, she’s talking to me!
Jude shot her in the face.
Whimpering now, all sense of reality gone, Jude kicked Louise’s cracked skull sideways and shot her in the back of the head. Three times.
“Stay down,” she whispered. “Please, stay down.”
Before she turned away, she took a good, hard look at both bodies until she was satisfied they wouldn’t get up again. She turned off the lantern and mounted the stairs, taking one laborious step at a time, her arm buzzing from the gun’s recoil and her ears ringing from sound of the shots.
Jude was so tired and worn that her eyes ached. With great effort, she pushed a trunk full of books in front of the basement door. She’d take the bodies out in the morning.
Upstairs, she washed up in the dark bathroom, wiping her face, then her arms with a cool, wet cloth. In her bedroom, hers and hers alone now, she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her boots and jeans. Removing her clothes offered no relief in the stifling hot room.
Jude crawled into bed and pulled Sky’s pillow to her chest and breathed in his scent. She groaned into the pillow, her loneliness and grief too weighty for tears. Over and over she asked herself why. Why had she let him walk away? Why didn’t she insist on going with him? Why had they even gone outside to help them? What good had it done? They were all dead now except for her. She was back to where she had been weeks ago, alone, with only a shattered heart to keep her company.