To: Erin Walsh
From: Samuel Walsh
Date: December 3
Subject: Looking ahead
Hey, Erin,
I want to talk to you about two things, both of which are top secret.
First – Tiel and I are getting married Christmas Eve. We're having a party at our place, and the wedding is going to be a surprise. You have to be here. Tell me you can make it.
Second – I want to take Tiel somewhere totally unexpected for our honeymoon. It's my wedding gift to her but I'm not going to tell her until after the event. What do you recommend, world traveler?
Let me know.
Sam
To: Nick Acevedo
From: Erin Walsh
Date: December 3
Subject: Spousal privilege
I'm telling you this because you're my husband, but you are NOT allowed to tell anyone else. Got it?
Sam and Tiel are getting surprise-married on Christmas Eve. He wants me to come home. I think I can make that work, but their surprise wedding can't be about us.
*Now that I think about it, I'm sure Riley knows. He can know that I know, but he can't know that you know, not until I tell him that you know.
To: Erin Walsh
From: Nick Acevedo
Date: December 4
Subject: Spousal privilege
I want you back here, Skip. That's all that matters to me.
I can't believe I'm asking this, but… You did tell Sam that you were coming for the wedding, right? Your reflex answer to these things is usually no.
*Do I have any other spousal privileges?
**I noticed that you referenced a legal provision without giving me a constitutional law history lesson. Are you feeling all right? Did you get enough sleep and plenty of espresso for breakfast?
To: Nick Acevedo
From: Erin Walsh
Date: December 4
Subject: Spousal privilege
Actually, I told him I was busy. I'll let him know I'm coming later. It's fine.
Allow me to be clear: This is Sam and Tiel's wedding. We're not having any big conversations with anyone about anything. They're pulling off this huge surprise wedding thing and it's not right to make it about us. They've been through so much together, and now they're getting married, and I'm happy for them. They deserve for this to be all about them.
I'm bummed, but we'll find another time. We always do.
*You have the privilege of taking your shirt off before you hop on our video chat tonight.
**There isn't enough espresso in Iceland for me. Never will be.
To: Erin Walsh
From: Nick Acevedo
Date: December 4
Subject: Spousal privilege
Skip,
I'll chat you bare-ass naked if you want. Not sure why it's taken this long for us to get that out on the table.
I can agree that it's Sam and Tiel's day, but I won't hide anything. If I want to grab your ass in front of your brothers, I will and you'll like it. Spousal privilege.
Going out to buy an espresso machine now,
Your ever-patient and faithfully nude husband
*Just heard from Matt that Shannon and Will are living together. Whichever rock you sent worked a shit-ton of magic.
Riley: What are you doing tonight?
Riley: I need to get out of here
Riley: These assholes are driving me crazy
Nick: What now?
Riley: Sam and Matt are intent on "helping" me
Nick: Intervention?
Riley: Something like that
Riley: I took over one of Sam's big projects when he was in his Mountain Man phase, and I'm wrapping it up soon but the client is really fucking annoying. Like, nine paint color changes annoying. Like, five emergency meetings to discuss doorknobs annoying.
Riley: Now Sam and Matt have climbed up my asshole to "coach" me
Riley: Real talk: I really like this shit and they ARE helpful but fuck me, I've had dinner with all of them four times this week
Nick: So that's four dinners with Lauren
Riley: Yes sir
Riley: I think I'm having a nervous breakdown
Nick: You're not. You're going to get through.
Riley: Doubts. I have doubts.
Nick: I'm covering the ER for a couple of hours but I could go for a beer later
Riley: Outstanding
Riley: I hear Rogue is coming in for Sam and Tiel's highly secretive event. She's told me that she's told you, and we're now allowed to acknowledge that we all know about it.
Nick: Why do you call her that?
Riley: X-Men, dude.
Nick: I'm having trouble remembering that character but it feels like another slam on her. It pisses me off. Stop.
Riley: It's not.
Nick: It sounds like it is.
Riley: Ok, well…it's not.
Nick: It seems like you guys beat up on her a lot. I fucking hate it. Y'all need to stop that shit.
Riley: Rogue is a mutant. She absorbs everything around her. Memories, strength, other superpowers. She feels everything, all the time. It's involuntary. She can't not do it. She can't control it either, and sometimes people get hurt. She sees it as a curse and she runs away from home.
Nick: Continue
Riley: Her powers are conducted by touch. She can't allow anyone get close to her. She's always alone.
Nick: …and?
Riley: And it takes her years to get control of her powers, and even then, she's still guarded. She grows up as a villain but in the end, she finds her way to the X-Men. They become her family, and she uses her powers to heal them.
Nick: Whoa. Fuck.
Nick: How do you come up with these nicknames?
Riley: It's a gift.
Nick: Right, well this convo has been pretty fucking real for me. When are we drinking?
Riley: How about The Green Dragon, around 8
Nick: Do you think they'll have the Cowboys game on?
Riley: Goddamn it, Nicholas.
Riley: The Dragon is over 360 years old. Paul Revere and John Hancock drank there. It's the alehouse of revolutionaries, son.
Nick: Ok. Sorry?
Riley: When you're drinking at The Dragon, you're a motherfucking Patriot.
Nick: Remember the Alamo
Riley: If Sam Adams had been at the Alamo, that shit would've been over in 3 days
Nick: ¡Viva la revolución!
Riley: Just stop. That's a different revolution, dude.
Nick: You're buying the beer.