Chapter Thirteen

 

Anna was excited. No, ecstatic. Tonight, she would be meeting Colin after what felt like years. She had chosen one of her burlap dresses and wore the coat she had taken from Colin over it.

Stopping for a moment to look at the peaceful form of Henry, who often slept in her bed, she leaned over and kissed his forehead, praying he would not awaken.

“Sleep well,” she whispered and then added the promise she had made every night since the death of their mother. “And know that life will soon be better.”

The hinges on the door creaked when she opened it, and she paused to listen for any changes in Thomas’s snores. The fact that he snored was a blessing, for it created enough noise to make Anna’s escape from the cottage that much easier. Given that it was also ten minutes before midnight was also helpful.

Once outside, she drew in a deep breath of fresh air. She could not have hoped for a better night. The moon was full, allowing for light to wash over the ground and making her walk far easier.

With her heart thudding in her chest, Anna scurried to the forest’s edge. In just a few minutes, she would be with Colin once again!

It seemed an eternity since they last met, and she had so many things she wished to talk to him about. So much more she wanted to learn about his past, his present, and his future. No matter the topic, she did not care, just so long as they had time to be together.

And, perhaps, he would kiss her again. If she was lucky.

She sighed. Why did thinking of kissing Colin make her entire body tingle in anticipation? Every time she imagined herself in his arms, it was as if her heart felt lighter than the blades of grass that she often threw to the wind. She had never been one for lewd thoughts before, yet here she was having notions only harlots would have!

Life certainly had a strange way of changing directions without warning.

As she approached the log bridge, she scanned the opposite bank for any sign of Colin. Where was he? Perhaps he had been held up somehow. Well, he would come, she was sure of it.

Partway across the fallen log, she glanced down at the reflection of the moon— as bright as her future— on the smooth water of the pool below.

As Anna stepped off the bridge, she paused. What was that noise? Besides the odd deer or stray dog, no animal existed that would make that much racket. No, the deer would have been far quieter.

“Where’s the bloody path?”

Anna burst out laughing as Colin emerged from the trees. He was devoid of a coat, and leaves and small twigs clung to his clothing and hair.

“Perhaps you should hire some men to build you a path,” she called out to him. “Or better yet, have them build you a road so you may bring your carriage with you. Then you’ll not be forced to stumble through the woods.”

Colin started and then barked a laugh. “I didn’t realize my voice carried so far.” He brushed at his breeches. “My apologies. I must look a fright.”

She walked over and looked him up and down. “I’ll not lie. The word unkempt has taken on an entirely new meaning.” When he frowned, she rolled her eyes. “Here, let me help.”

His firm, muscular form beneath her fingertips made heat rush through her body, and it was not long before she had to move away or catch fire. “That should be good enough,” she managed to croak.

“Thank you,” he replied, clearly oblivious to his effect on her senses. He glanced around them. “This is beautiful. The moon, the stars, what a perfect night.”

“My thoughts exactly,” she said. “And now you’re here, which only makes it more perfect. Follow me. We’ll only be a moment.” She led him to the fallen tree. When he gave her a skeptical look, she added, “Don’t worry. If you take your time, you’ll not fall.”

“Of course you would say that,” he said. “You spend a great deal of time doing this sort of thing. I, on the other hand, have had little practice with crossing fallen trees. I suspect your true motive is to watch me fall.”

Anna feigned a gasp. “Are my thoughts that evident?” She reached out to him. “Here, take my hand, so you can take me with you if you fall.”

He did as she bade, and they shifted along the log until they were halfway across.

“Let’s sit here,” she said.

“What a wonderful—” Colin gasped as he wobbled, and his grip tightened.

Anna held her breath. If he fell, he would indeed drag her in with him!

His faltering came to an abrupt stop, and he grinned at her. “You’re not the only one who can torment, Miss Silverstone.”

Anna laughed as he sat beside her. “I should push you in for that!” She glanced at their intertwined fingers, pleased he had not released her hand.

Colin turned to look at her. “You told me the first time we met that you enjoy coming here at midnight to swim. Why is that? Why midnight?”

Anna looked up at the stars. “There’s no feeling like it,” she replied. “To be free and alone with only the stars watching. I don’t have to worry about whether Thomas will be angry at me. If Christian has sold a horse. Or if Henry’s stomach is grumbling with hunger. I can imagine everything is perfect, even if it’s just for a short time.”

“If there were ever a woman who deserved the very best, it’s you. I believe that, one day, the world will repay you for your selflessness.”

Squeezing his hand, she said, “I believe it already has.”

The sound of the flowing river had always been a peaceful experience. How lucky she was to now share it with Colin.

“What about you?” she asked. “How will the world one day repay you?”

Colin snorted. “You assume I’m as selfless as you, but I assure you, I’m not. Oh, I’m not a horrible man, but I would never describe myself as magnanimous.”

“I’m sure no one would ever consider you horrible,” Anna said. “I mean, look at this fine coat you gave me. Is that an act of a selfish man?”

“I don’t recall that I gave it to you,” Colin said with a laugh. “I believe it was taken from me through blackmail. Or was it coercion? Either way, I didn’t simply give it to you.” He winked at her. “Do you find it comfortable?”

Anna nodded. What she found was that it reminded her of being wrapped in his arms. Would he hold her tonight before they went their separate ways? Perhaps she could see that happen. “It’s a very fine fabric, but I do feel a bit cold.” She glanced around as if in search of something. “Now, how can I warm up more?”

Colin frowned. “Cold? I find it quite warm. You’re not falling ill, are you?”

Anna laughed, which only made Colin’s frown deepen.

“Oh!” he gasped. “I’m as dense as the trees around us.” He placed an arm around her shoulders.

Sighing, Anna snuggled closer. She felt protected, comforted as she laid her head against him.

“Tell me about your mother,” he said. “Was she like you?”

“She was so beautiful,” Anna replied. “She radiated happiness no matter how life treated her. I learned from her to be thankful for all we have. And to dream. Mother often said that dreams are what we’re made of. I never truly understood what she meant until now.” She lifted her face so she could look up at him. “Our dreams are what compel us to act as we do. To search out what may seem foolish or unlikely to others. I suppose I’m saying that we should allow our dreams to guide our steps because they lead to what we want.”

Colin smiled. “Again, you’ve given me much to consider. My father always said that our paths are already set for us, by our parents and by society as a whole. That dreams outside what is planned for us are a wild-goose chase. For most of my life, I believed that, but I’ve come to see things in a much different light over the past few months. I’ve begun asking whether or not I should be allowed dreams, and if so, what dreams do I have? In truth, I believed what my father had told me, that I am not allowed to have aspirations outside of the dukedom. Because of you, however, I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to limit myself to my title. Therefore, I plan to go in search of those dreams.”

“Tell me one,” Anna whispered, leaning against him again. The sound of his heartbeat was soothing. “Just one dream that you hope to see realized while you’re playing the part of Colin.”

“You’ll just think me silly. I would hate to have you laughing so hard that you fall into the river.”

“Never,” she said, smiling. “Tell me. I wish to hear it.”

“I want to go to a public house,” he replied. “A proper tavern with filthy windows and glasses filled with suspect drink. With patrons who care nothing for station, who may be chimney sweeps or miners. Where the men may not be able to read but greet a stranger like a long-lost family member. To share a drink with them and have them speak to me honestly. That’s what I dream of.”

Anna could not help but smile as Colin ran a hand up and down her arm. “I’d like to see you achieve that,” she said, snuggling even closer to him. “I bet we can find all sorts of taverns like that.” Then a thought came to mind. “But what if a man wishes to pull me aside to buy me a drink? Or asks for a kiss? What would you tell him?”

“That you’re there with me,” he replied, his hold becoming firm. Possessive. “And that if he values his life, he’ll walk away.”

“So, you’d protect me?” she asked, her heart soaring.

“No one will ever harm you if I have anything to do with it,” he said. He placed a hand on the side of her face and turned her toward him. “For there is no one like you. The gods themselves sent their most prized beauty to me. You are a treasure of wonders, Anna.” His eyes searched her face. “There’s so much I wish to explore.”

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, one that was firmer and hungrier than the one they had shared before. With trepidation, she placed a hand on his arm, enjoying the firm muscle beneath the thin fabric of his shirtsleeves. Her heart pounded, her body heated, and soon she felt as if she were floating away.

Then, much to her disappointment, the kiss came to an end. Yet his strong hold on her did not.

“If I may be honest,” he said as he looked down at her. “I find myself thinking of kissing you quite often these days.”

Anna nodded. “You’re not alone, I assure you. I’ve had the same thoughts.” She placed her hands on either side of his face. “It would be far too improper for you to do so again.”

“You’re right.”

“That’s why I’ll kiss you instead.”

This time the kiss was soft and sensual, and Anna considered throwing herself into the pool below to cool her blazing skin. Reluctantly, she pulled away lest their kiss continued until dawn.

For some time they remained quiet. Then he said, “When we had tea, I was surprised how well you conducted yourself. I’ve seen other women fail where you succeeded.” He turned a warm gaze on her. “I speak not just of tea but of everything.”

Anna smiled, enjoying his touch, his words, his very being. “My mother was unlike any other. She taught me that being poor is no excuse for bad form.”

For a moment they listened to the current of the river. With the bright moon, she could see their watery reflection in the pool. What a beautiful sight to behold.

“This surprise,” he said waving his arm to encompass their surroundings. “You, the scenery, I have never had a surprise quite like this.”

Anna smiled. “I also had hoped we could swim together as I’ve often done. Would you consider such a thing?”

Her heart sank as he shook his head. “I’m afraid not. That is much too bold for someone like me. Not at such a late hour, and certainly not without the benefit of a chaperone. After all, we are taking an extreme risk being here alone in the first place.”

To say she was disappointed was not strong enough. Sadness would have described her current reaction to his response.”

“Allow me to help you up,” Colin said, rising and nearly toppling over before he righted himself and put a hand out to her. “Beginning tonight, I wish to be free by choosing your ways. But don’t worry. Only you and the stars are watching.”

Anna frowned. “Free? Colin, what’re you doing?”

He pulled his shirt over his head to reveal a well-defined torso that appeared even better than she could have imagined. Every sensibility told her to look away, yet that battle lasted all of half a breath. His body was a work of art, a sculpture with details that made her breath catch. The firm ridges on his stomach were an alluring sight.

Removing his boots and stockings and setting them beside him, he stood there in nothing more than his breeches like an Adonis brought down to earth solely for her personal inspection. A privilege she would honor. When he ran a hand through his hair, the muscles in his arms tightened, and she could not stop a gasp from escaping her lips.

“How deep is the pool below us?”

Anna had to force the words through a dry throat. “I’d say your height and half again. What are you planning to do?”

He grinned down at her. “Experience the freedom of which you spoke,” he replied and then leapt from the log into the pool below.

“Colin!” Anna cried in shock when he rose to the surface. “I thought this was beneath you! You’re unbelievable!”

“This is so wonderful!” he shouted as he wiped water from his eyes. “I’m free! Swimming out here beneath the night sky, knowing that at any moment, you may join me.” His smile was devilish. “There’s no feeling like it in the world, is there?

Laughing, Anna removed his coat and her shoes and stockings. When she reached around to unbutton her dress, Colin turned away. With quick movements, she stepped out of her dress and stood only in her shift.

The water rippled around his broad back, and she knew then that she had been correct. She had been given an invitation to not only inspect him but to also join him.

“I want to be free with you,” she whispered, looking down in the water below her. “Forever, if possible.”

Then she jumped.