Chapter Twenty-Two

 

Colin exited his Mayfair estate the same way he had two days earlier. With his head lowered lest his neighbors catch sight of him, he hurried past the row of grand homes. At the end of the street, he turned right. Anna was there waiting.

“Well?” she asked. “Is there a reply? Colin?”

“There is. Leedon has agreed to see you Saturday evening before he leaves for his country estate.”

No sooner had the words left his lips than Anna threw her arms around him. “It’s finally going to happen!” she whispered. “In just two days, I’ll meet my father. Do you have any idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment?”

Colin shook his head.

“Since I was a little girl. I prayed so many nights that we would come to know one another. Every time Thomas became angry over money, or when mother fell asleep weeping. The worries, the fears, all our troubles will finally come to an end!”

Colin felt a tightening in his chest. Saturday would likely resemble nothing like the dream Anna imagined, and he found his heart and mind once again battling over whether or not he should warn her. Was there a way he could protect her from the devastation she would surely endure without destroying her dreams?

He reached down and took her hand. “I want you to take care. You cannot be certain he’s your father. Or that he will accept you.”

“Oh, but I am,” she said with a wide smile. “My heart has said as much! Now, come, we’ve more shopping to do.”

They had spent the day going to the various shops on Fleet Street. She had not purchased a single item, but when he had asked her if she had enough funds to make any purchases, she had not responded.

Most of their conversation had been around Lord Leedon. “I’m sure he’ll want me to share stories about my life, and that of Thomas, as well, of course.” She came to a sudden stop. “Will you be going inside with me, or would you prefer to remain outside while I speak to him first?”

“I think you misunderstand,” Colin replied. “As much as I would like to be there, I’m unable to go. I’ve a party that night I must attend. I meant to tell you sooner, but I didn’t wish to ruin your week.”

Although Anna assured him all was well, the disappointment in her eyes told another story. The idea of her going alone to see Lord Leedon did not sit well with him. Not because he feared the earl would cause her physical harm but rather how his words would hurt her. Speaking to Evan was far too important— his mother keeping tabs on him still annoyed him no end!— and Saturday evening was the only time he would be able to do so.

What if he did not see Anna again after this week? The idea left him with a vacant feeling in the middle of his chest.

“I’ve a marvelous idea,” he said as he turned to her. “When you’ve completed your meeting with Leedon, why not meet me at the park near the party I’m to attend? We can go for a walk if you’d like, and you can tell me all about your time with your father.”

“I’d like that,” Anna said. “I can tell you all my good news, and you can bring me a piece of one of their extravagant desserts.”

Colin laughed. “I believe that can be arranged.”

When they arrived at Fleet Street, they maneuvered their way through the bustling crowd, filled with people from all walks of life. Shops lined the street, from teashops to millineries, to bookshops, every want could be had for a price. Children in tattered clothing ran between carriages as their drivers shouted obscenities at them.

“The footmen who’re accompanying the ladies appear rather sturdy,” Anna mused.

“They’re far more than simple footmen. You see, there’s a prison nearby. No gentleman would allow his wife to frequent the shops in this area without a proper escort, but neither is he willing to spend his time waiting outside shops. Therefore, they hire men to take on that responsibility.”

As if to prove Colin’s point, an unshaven man swaggered up to them, licking his lips and eying Anna. A stern glower from Colin sent the man away with a grunt.

They approached a large building with windows taller than Colin. The sign above proclaimed, “Thurston and Howell”.

“A linendraper? What’re we doing here?”

“Why, shopping for fabrics, of course,” Anna replied. “I’ll need at least a dozen dresses, and the sitting room could use a new set of curtains.”

Colin frowned but made no comment as they entered the shop. Deep, circular shelves held large rolls of fabrics. Other styles of textiles stood on end, their ends hanging down like curtains.

Anna touched one of the displays. “I find it interesting that women like me created these designs,” she said as she moved the fabric between her fingers. “But did you notice that only men work here?”

Colin glanced around. “I never gave it much thought, but you’re right.”

“Here, feel this.” She held out the end of a roll of red fabric with gold threaded throughout. “Isn’t it wonderful? I’ve never worked with such fine threading before.” She looked at her fingertips. “And that’s likely a good thing. I’d be too afraid to have the threads catch on my fingertips.”

Taking her hand in his, he smiled. “Your hands tell a story, Anna. They tell a story of a woman who works very hard, who works in an industry that is very important to everyone, both rich and poor. You should feel nothing but pride for what you’ve done with your life.”

He doubted her blushes would ever become tiresome.

She pulled her hand away. “Well,” she said, resuming that false nasal tone of the upper class. “I believe this fabric will make fine curtains for the sitting room, do you not agree? And the purple for my bedroom.”

“You’ll purchase these?” Colin asked.

“Does the thought of such a poor woman owning such finery bother you?” Anna laughed. Then she lowered her voice and added, “This is how those of us who are poor spend our time shopping. Although we’ll never be able to afford such luxuries, we pretend as if we can.”

“And this is common?” he asked.

Anna nodded. “Quite common. If anyone says he doesn’t pretend from time to time, he’s lying.”

“It is a novel idea, I suppose.” He was not convinced, but neither was he willing to contradict her words. She seemed to be enjoying herself far too much for that.

“Here’s what you must do. Act like you don’t have two farthings to your name. Now, which would you prefer for your cottage?”

Colin looked over the choices and stopped before a roll of gold fabric. Just as he went to respond that he would like that one, a clerk approached them, and he did not appear pleased.

“We have no time for thieves or for charity,” he said with his nose in the air. He was a rather thin character with beady eyes and a pinched face that made him look as if he were enduring some terrible odor. “I would like you to leave, please.”

Colin’s temper rose. Did this man not realize to whom he was speaking? He would have him thrown out of the establishment on his ear! How dare he speak to a duke in such a terrible…

He paused. No, of course the man had no idea who Colin was, not with his rumpled and patched clothing.

“My husband wishes to purchase some fabric,” Anna said. “I’m sure we can come to some sort of terms.”

“Terms?” the man replied, aghast. “Terms? Here are my terms. Leave now, lest you wish me to have you bodily removed. I’m certain you can find a shop that is better suited to your needs. Here, we have ladies from the best families.” He looked them up and down, his frown deepening. “The last thing they want is to share a space with those equal to— if not beneath— their servants.”

Every eye was on them. Two women pointed in their direction, and judging by the looks of terror, they thought he and Anna would rob them at any moment.

Yet their look was not foreign to Colin. Had he not witnessed this very behavior from his peers? He had never joined them, but not once had he stepped forward to berate them for their bad manners. Although he had not approved, now that he had endured such humiliation from the other side, he found the act despicable.

“Come, Anna,” he said, offering his arm. “We’ll go elsewhere.” Before he left, however, he turned back to the clerk and added, “One day, I’ll return, and you’ll beg me to do business with you.”

The clerk snorted. “And when that day comes, I shall fall on my knees and beg you for your forgiveness.” Colin did not miss the note of sarcasm in the man’s tone. “But until that day comes, I suggest you leave.”

With Anna on his arm, Colin led her back onto the busy street. “I understand now what it feels like to be humiliated for one’s status. This is just one of the many things I despise about being a duke.”

A man stumbling past them stopped and chortled. “A duke? You? Well, I’ll bet you know my cousin, the King!”

Colin sighed and turned to Anna. “Why must people treat each other so disgracefully?”

She laughed. “What does it matter? You’re not like them, are you?”

Colin shook his head. “I would hope not.”

“Then you mustn’t allow such words to ruin your day. Now, cheer up. We’re going to the dressmaker’s next.”

“The dressmaker’s?” Colin asked with a yelp as she pulled him along after him. “Men don’t join women in a dressmaker’s shop no matter his station!”

Anna frowned. “You make it sound as if we’re on our way to practice witchcraft. Trust me. All will be well.”

Did she not understand that being forced to enter such a place would make him a laughingstock? Not to mention what the patrons would think of him being in what should be a sanctuary for women! He would have been better off kissing a barmaid in front of his mother than to go there.

But when Anna smiled, he found he could not refuse. Therefore, with a sigh, he followed after her.

They came to a stop ten shops down. Several women browsed through large books or looked over a variety of ribbons and lace. One young lady turned in a full circle to show off her yellow dress.

“The two times Mother brought me to London,” Anna said as she peered through the window, “I came to stand here, wondering what it would be like to be one of those ladies. To be able to walk in and order a new dress. To feel the soft fabric against my skin. To feel as if I were worthy.” She turned to gaze up at him. “I know that seems silly, but it’s what I’ve always wished for.”

Colin felt a stirring inside him. It was not the passion of wanting to kiss her but rather a desire to see she had everything she wanted. To do whatever he could to make her happy.

“I see they have several dresses already made,” he said, smiling down at her. “Go inside and select one. I’ll purchase it for you. If you find three you like, then I’ll purchase all three. I don’t care. Buy whatever you wish.”

To his surprise, Anna turned back to the window. “That’s kind of you, and I’ll admit that it’s very tempting, but I think I’ll wait. Good things are coming my way, and soon I’ll have my own money to make such a purchase.” She turned and smiled at him. “But I thank you all the same.”

As he watched the young woman in the yellow dress, Colin wondered how many she had ordered. Would she be pleased with such a gift? Or would she be like countless others who took what they had for granted?

Then there was Anna, a woman who deserved it all and yet refused his offer.

“I wish I could be more like you,” Colin said. “To speak my mind whenever I want. To see the world as you do. How wonderful it must be.”

“And what stops you from doing the same?”

He laughed. Had she not learned after the time they had spent together? “You forget that I’m a duke.”

“And I’m a woman who labors all day. If I can do such things, surely being a powerful duke shouldn’t hinder you.” She turned and smiled up at him. “The man before me is held back only by himself.”

How much he wished to believe her words, but he could not make himself agree. The dukedom had certain expectations of him, and that did not include speaking his mind. Not fully. He had to choose his words carefully, present himself in a certain way. If he did not, he would only shame his position. And he refused to do that.

If anyone would have told Colin two weeks ago that he would be dressed as a commoner and peering into a dressmaker’s shop on Fleet Street, he would have thought them mad. Yet here he was doing exactly that.

So far, he had slept in an inn that was more modest than the rooms in which his servants lived. He had danced with a barmaid and stumbled drunk to his room. And it was an experience he would enjoy doing again.

But not alone. No, he would need Anna at his side, for she was his guide, his escort.

As she peered through the window, speaking of the blue dress she would purchase, he thought about what his life would be with her in it. There had to be a way, and he prayed that Evan would have the answer he sought. After all Anna had done for him, for the hard life she had been forced to lead, she deserved a life of luxury. But, more importantly, she needed to be cherished. He had no doubt that no one but himself could do it.

And Colin vowed to do whatever it took to see that happen.