Chapter Twenty-Three

 

The day had finally arrived, the day when Anna’s dreams would come true. A carriage would come for her any moment now, and she would be whisked away to meet her father. She had chosen her blue dress and spent the better part of an hour brushing her hair and using the few hairpins she had to pull it up into some semblance of a chignon.

Although her shoes had deep cracks in the leather from wear, she had asked Mr. Thompson for polish and was pleased when he obliged. The polish did not remove the cracks, but at least it helped make her shoes look less worn. A bit.

A knock came to the door, and Anna went to answer it. Colin stood there, once more in his tailored suit and clean cheeks. “I had forgotten how handsome you truly are,” she teased. “Were you able to sneak past Mr. Thompson without him catching you?”

Colin nodded. “The front area was empty, so it was no trouble at all.” He took her hands in his. “Are you nervous?”

“Nervous, excited, anxious,” she replied with a laugh. “My stomach keeps churning, and I’ve spent a great deal of time fanning myself.” She glanced down at her dress. “Do you think I look presentable? I worry my dress is too old. And these shoes!” She heaved a sigh. “What if he—”

“You’re more beautiful today than you were yesterday,” Colin said. “Leedon will have little concern for what clothing you’re wearing, I assure you.”

Anna’s heart soared. “You’re right. Once my father learns who I am, he’ll send me straight to the dressmaker’s.” She laughed at her own humor, but Colin’s expression did not change. “Well, I suppose we should go.”

He nodded. “The driver’s been instructed to take you to Portland Place once you’ve completed your meeting. He’s to leave you at the park close to where the party is taking place.”

They had spoken at length of this plan before, but Anna was thankful to hear it again. She had been in such a state of anticipation that she recalled only bits and pieces of it.

She looked down at their intertwined hands and said, “This week has seen our dreams realized. No matter what the future brings, I’ll never forget it. Nor you.”

He smiled down at her. “You would be impossible to forget,” he whispered. “The woman who came into my life, who has shown me what it’s like to live.”

Anna’s heart beat with such strong emotion that she wondered if it was love. The matter needed serious thought, for she would like to pursue it further. But she had a father to meet before taking such an important step.

Plus, once she verified that she was the daughter of an earl, their chances of moving forward would be far better.

Raising herself onto the tips of her toes, she kissed him. “We’ll have another tonight as a way to celebrate. And do remember to bring wine with you when we meet.”

“I’ll be there waiting.”

She smiled. “You go down first. We can’t have anyone see us leaving together. The way you’re dressed will be far too embarrassing.”

Colin chuckled. “Good luck,” he whispered.

Anna returned to her room to collect a wrap— and to give Colin time to leave— before going downstairs.

“Miss Silverstone,” the clerk called out to her, making her start, “is all well?”

“Oh, yes, thank you, Mr. Thompson.” Overcome with anticipation, she approached the counter and lowered her voice. “I’m off to meet my father, whom I’ve not seen in many years.”

“How wonderful!” he said. “I do hope everything goes well for you. Will your mother be joining you?”

An image of her mother came to mind. How sad that she could not witness this wondrous reunion! “I’m afraid not. Oh, my carriage is waiting for me. I must be on my way.”

“Good luck!” Mr. Thompson called out after her.

Anna gave him a grateful wave and exited the inn. Indeed, a nondescript carriage awaited, and the driver dipped his head as he opened the door for her. The interior was very much like that of the vehicle that had brought her to London, and she settled back into the plush cushion. She could become quite accustomed to this.

Soon, the carriage was on its way. Anna peered out the window without noticing the passing buildings. Once she and her father reconciled, no longer would she be a shadow everyone avoided. Instead, she would be the daughter of Lord Leedon, an earl and peer of the realm. Those who had turned their noses up at her would soon learn that she had worth.

One question that she had pushed into the back of her mind returned. Would she take her father’s name or continue using her own? Still, she had no answer. Perhaps he could help her make that decision.

When the carriage came to a stop, Anna’s heart thudded in her chest. She was grateful for the driver’s hand as he helped her alight from the carriage. Her head was spinning so quickly that she had to stop and take a deep breath to put it back into order. Her mind barely registered that the driver said he would wait for her.

The houses here were enormous! Each had a feel of welcoming with their own tiny gardens consisting of perfectly trimmed bushes and flower beds filled with blue and yellow flowers or perfect red and pink roses. And so many windows! None showed a single crack and glimmered with the reflection of the sun. She could see herself living in such a marvelous place, enjoying the luxuries of such a life.

Well, that could not happen until she learned the truth about Lord Leedon.

The iron gate opened without the slightest creak, and the footpath that led to the front door had been swept clean. Both greeted her like a long-lost friend. Or perhaps a long-lost daughter…

Fear overtook her as she considered how worn her dress was. Even the garden was maintained better than she. Would her father look at her differently because of her bedraggled state?

When she rang the bell— a lovely note if she ever heard one!— the door opened to a man in formal livery. “Miss Silverstone? Lord Leedon awaits you in the drawing room. If you’ll follow me, please.”

“Thank you,” Anna managed to whisper, although it came out more a croak. Oh, but how her nerves were as taut as a weft thread on a loom!

As she stepped into the foyer, it took every ounce of will not to gape. Fine tapestries of purple and gold hung from the walls, and the oak banister on the stairs gleamed. This was where she would greet her brothers when they came to meet her father. They would be as awed as she!

The butler led her toward a set of double doors. As she followed him, Anna thought her heart would explode. This moment had been a dream for so long, but what if she fainted before she and her father met?

“Miss Anna Silverstone,” the butler announced before moving aside to allow her to enter the room.

A gentleman in a crisp suit rose from a plush chair covered in purple fabric. He had silver hair, and his smile had a certain glow to it that she was immediately drawn to. This man was an earl, her father, and he was everything she expected him to be. His eyes were dark like those of Thomas, but his nose was slender, much like hers. Thomas also shared his height, but this man’s jawline was more pronounced.

“Thank you, Williams,” the earl said. “See a tray brought up.”

The butler bowed. “Yes, my lord.”

“When His Grace sent word that I would be meeting Miss Anna Silverstone, I knew immediately who you were.”

Anna’s eyes went wide. “You did?”

“Of course. Your mother and I shared in numerous conversations.” He extended his hand toward a set of chairs. “Please, sit.”

For a moment, Anna could only stare. Which chair did he mean? She desperately needed to make a good impression, for she could not have her father think her uncivilized.

“Either is fine.”

Anna smiled. He had sensed her thought, just as her mother would often do. Knowing this eased some of the trepidation she carried. It had a familiarity to it.

Choosing one, she found the red cushions even more luxurious, more comfortable, than the benches in the carriage. All around her spoke of great wealth, from the intricate paintings to the elaborate furniture. Marble columns flanked the large fireplace, each with an ornate carving of a cherub on its top end. Even the fabric of the drapes was far more elegant than anything produced at Mr. Harrison’s workhouse.

Yet, although Anna admired the earl’s possessions, she was not here for them. “My lord,” she began, “I believe you know why I’m here. You see…” she swallowed hard. He looked at her with such consideration, that the words stuck in her throat.

You’ve waited far too long for this moment to act a frightened goose now!

Clearing her throat, she tried again. “I’m your daughter.”

Everything went quiet. Should she rush over and hug him? Would he hug her? She was uncertain what to expect, but the sigh that came had not been it.

“Miss Silverstone.”

“Please, call me Anna.”

“Anna. Yes, well, I must ask. Who told you I was your father? Might I hazard a guess that it was your mother?”

“Yes, my lord.” Then, like a sluice gate, her words began to tumble from her lips. “You see, she was on her deathbed when she revealed it to me. I’m sure you’re already aware, but you also have a son, Thomas. Then there’s Christian and Henry.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Well, they are not your sons, only Thomas. Christian’s a bit of a rebel but excellent with horses. Henry’s just six, but he’s well-mannered. I know he’ll want to meet you, too.”

“I’m sure he would,” the earl murmured. His brows knitted, and his lips thinned. “Anna, I would like to tell you a story. About your mother.”

Anna straightened in her seat. “I’d like that. I’ve often wondered what stories you would be able to share.”

The door opened, and the butler entered with a tray laden with a porcelain tea set and two teacups. He poured them each a cup of tea and then bowed and left the room once more.

As she accepted the teacup the earl offered, she admired how different it was from the cracked ones at home. After taking a sip, she returned the cup to its saucer. Her hand shook far too much to continue to hold it. The last thing she needed was to spill tea down the front of her dress!

She studied her father, worry setting in. Her appearance had to be off-putting for a man of his station. Well, she would remedy that.

“I realize that this must be quite awkward for you, my lord. It’s not every day that a daughter about whom you knew nothing suddenly arrives on your doorstep. But I can assure you that although my dress is worn, I’m a good, strong woman. I’ve done nothing to shame my name or that of any member of my family. You’ll find that as your daughter, I’ll be a boon to the Leedon name. Or rather the Braxton name, since that’s your family name. That being said, I just want you to know that I’ll make you proud.”

The earl set his cup on the table and drew in a deep breath. “Anna. I’m sorry, but there is no other way to tell you this. I really must be completely upfront with you. You see, I’m not your father.”

All the air seemed sucked from the room. Bile rose in Anna’s throat. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken,” she said with a firmness she did not feel. “Mother gave me your name. She said you were forced to marry another woman instead of her.”

Lord Leedon rose from his chair and walked over to lean against the fireplace. “Did your mother tell you how we met?”

Anna shook her head. Any verbal response was caught in her throat.

“I see. Well, if she chose not to share that with you, then perhaps it would be best that you don’t know. I’d hate to resurrect a past she wished to hide.”

With shaky legs, Anna stood. “But you are my father. Mother never lied. Not to me. She would never do that.”

The pained expression that crossed the earl’s features told her how untrue these words were. Her mother had lied. Even on her deathbed, she had been untruthful. How could she have deceived Anna in such a terrible way? What had she hoped to gain?

“I beg of you, tell me what you’re unwilling to share. I must know the truth.”

He shook his head. “Please, don’t make me tell you. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

“I’ve waited for this day my entire life,” Anna said, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. “And now I’ve come to realize that my life has been a fabrication. For far too long, I’ve believed a fairy tale. Please. I won’t be angry with you, I promise.”

“Very well,” he replied. “But I believe we should sit back down.”

Anna nodded and returned to her seat. With her hands clenching her skirts, she forced herself to calm.

When the earl was also seated, he began. “I was involved with numerous charities here in London. We worked with the poor and downtrodden throughout the city. One particular woman came to one of those charities, one who wished to leave behind the difficult life in which she found herself.”

“I see,” Anna said, wishing he would simply get to the point.

“So many of the women we aided were part of a particular profession, one that…” He shifted in his seat. “Well, one that is not discussed among those of stricter morals.”

Anna stared at him. Was he saying what she believed he was saying? “You can’t mean…”

He gave her a sad nod. “She was a prostitute.”

“No!” Anna gasped. “No, it cannot be!”

“I’m sorry, but it is. The idea behind that particular charity was to teach the women who came to us how to find respectable work. They learned to sew or to create lace or what they would need to know to become servants of an estate. Your mother and I became friends, although I use the term loosely. Perhaps acquaintances would be a far better word to use. Either way, I found her resolve admirable. She had a great desire to better herself and leave her old ways behind. You should be proud of what she was able to accomplish.”

Anna frowned. “So, the two of you spent time together? Perhaps a…relationship developed between you.”

“I understand what you are alluding to, but the answer is no. We were not intimate in any way. We were never alone for even a moment for anything inappropriate to take place. Whenever I called on the home where your mother was staying, she would often tell me all sorts of grand tales. And I enjoyed hearing her stories. Then, during one of those calls, she told me she was with child. I assume that was the brother of whom you spoke.”

Anna’s stomach felt filled with lead. “Thomas,” she whispered. “His name is Thomas.”

“Rebecca never named the father,” Lord Leedon continued. “And I didn’t feel it was my business to ask. You must understand, we never met outside that building. Surely you must realize that an earl could never develop a relationship of any kind with a woman of her…background.”

With tears stinging her eyes, Anna gave a dull nod. “I see that now, my lord.”

Oh, how her heart ached! Her mother had lied to her. Molly had alluded to the fact that mothers such as she often made up stories to protect their children, but all it did was make her feel smaller, less significant than she had felt before knowing this information. Shame washed over her in waves. Her stomach roiled. How could she have ever thought herself worthy of being named an earl’s daughter?

Did she deserve love, anyone’s love? No, she did not. Not the daughter of a woman who used her body to earn a living. What she wanted to do was run far away where no one would be forced to set eyes upon her again.

Lord Leedon walked over and squatted beside her. “I can see how much this news has upset you, and for that, I’m sorry. I had considered lying to you, but I could not, not in good conscience.”

“I admit this was not what I had hoped to hear,” she said, wiping away the single tear that slid down her cheek. “I’d hope that we would be celebrating by now. That a new world would open up to me. That people would finally look past my clothing and my station in life. That had been my dream for so long, and now it’s gone.”

He patted her hand. “Although I’m not your father, Miss Silverstone, I do see past that. Before me sits a strong young woman. I may not know her, but I recognize strength when I see it, and yours shines brightly. I wish you the best in the days ahead. And I hope that, one day, you’ll find your father, for he is a fortunate man indeed.”

Anna stood. “Thank you for your kind words, my lord. I suppose I should be on my way.” She looked around one last time. She had looked forward to being in this room, to remaining here to become better acquainted with the man she believed to be her father. And now, all she wanted was to leave. She had embarrassed herself long enough.

“May I offer you my carriage to take you to wherever it is you’re staying?” Lord Leedon asked. “Perhaps some money? I have several notes if you’ll accept them.” He reached into his coat pocket. He counted out what appeared to be about forty pounds and held it out to her.

That much money was enough to purchase new window panes, teacups, blue dresses. Yet Lord Leedon had already done enough.

“I appreciate the gesture, my lord,” she said, waving away the offered money. “But I’ve bothered you enough for two lifetimes. Thank you for agreeing to see me. And you’ve no need to worry. I’ll keep this meeting between us. I’ll see myself out.”

Unable to hold back the tears of humiliation, Anna hurried out of the room and out the front door. The houses now glowered at her, hurling their rays of accusation at her through glaring reflections of the sun. The flowers turned away from her, reserved only for girls who knew their fathers. Even the carriage that awaited her was meant for ladies of good standing.

Not for the bastard daughter of a prostitute.

The driver opened the door and bowed. “Is there anywhere else you’d like to go before I’m to take you to your destination, Miss Silverstone?

“No,” Anna said, looking down what she had first thought as a lovely street. “I believe I’ll walk, thank you.” Then she paused. “Although, I’ll need directions.”

“But His Grace instructed me to see you to Portland Place,” the driver replied with an air of concern.

“Just directions, if you please.”

Once she had a clear idea of where she needed to go, Anna lowered her head and began to walk. Her body felt numb, her heart felt vacant.

A couple was alighting from a carriage several houses away, and the lady sniffed. “I remember when servants had the decency to either wait until their betters went inside or crossed to the other side of the street so as not to be in our way. Much has changed.”

“You’ve no need to worry,” Anna said in a choked voice. “You’ll never see me again.”

At the end of the street, she paused. Everything had fallen apart, her world was crumbling down around her, and she felt more lost than ever. She was meant to turn left, but that led to Colin, and she was not ready to discuss what she had learned.

She headed to the right instead, uncertain where it would lead her. Nor did she care.