Through my review mirror, I saw headlights approach and pull off to the side of the road. However, even though it was dark outside and the rain had slowed to a drizzle, I could tell that it was not Allyson’s Jeep behind me. The headlights were too low to the ground. I started to get nervous when I saw a shadow of a man exit the car and head towards me. I quickly fished around in my purse for my can of pepper spray.
When I turned back, I was shocked to see Alexander Stone’s astonishing blue eyes peering at me through the glass. My heart crashed against my chest. I sat there, completely stunned, staring back at him. Seeing him again turned me into an unresponsive, trembling mess.
What is he doing here?
He needed to shave, which was uncharacteristic of him. And although the stubble was unusual, it did nothing to mask the handsome features underneath. That perfectly chiseled face, square jaw, and those intensely bright blue eyes – he was just as devastating as ever.
He must have recently come from work, because he was still wearing a shirt and tie. However, his sleeves were rolled to his elbows and his blue tie was loosened at the neck. It was damp and chilly outside today, and I absently wondered why he didn’t have his suit jacket on.
He made a motion for me to roll down the window, bringing me back to reality. I was relieved that there wasn’t a serial killer standing outside of my car, but I was still stunned to see that it was Alexander. I had to remember to keep my wits about me, as just the sight of him threatened every molecule of intelligence that I possessed to abandon me.
Don’t bend, don’t bend. Hold your ground. You can do it.
I gave myself a pep talk as I waited for the window to roll down.
“Why don’t you have a coat on? It’s cold outside,” I scolded.
“Starting a fight with me already, Miss Cole.”
“Well, er…no,” I faltered. “I – I was only making an observation.”
He flashed me a crooked smile and I just about melted into a puddle.
“Oh, angel. How I’ve missed you.”
I felt my heart flutter from his words. We stayed staring at each other, still and silent, his face remarkably impassive as he studied me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in an attempt to break the silence. “Where’s Ally?”
“I’m assuming that she’s at home, as that’s where I dropped her off.”
“Wait, what? You were with Ally? Why?”
“Always so many questions,” he chuckled. “I’ll explain it later. What seems to be wrong with your car?”
“I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll figure it out. I don’t need you to help me.”
“And just as stubborn as ever,” he laughed.
“Don’t mock me, Alex.”
“I would never,” he admonished, his eyes alight with humor. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong with your car? Or do I have to stand out here in the rain until you let go of your pigheadedness?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed that he was right. I was in a bind, and was left little choice in the matter thanks to Allyson. She had some major explaining to do.
“The stupid check engine light has been coming on now and again, but it usually goes off after a bit so I didn’t worry about it. But then it started making this weird grinding sound and smoke started to come out from under the hood. That’s when I pulled over and called Ally. You can imagine my surprise when I saw that it was you coming to my rescue,” I finished dryly.
“Hmm,” he mused. “Hop out of the car. Let me see if I can figure out what’s going on.”
I opened the car door to climb out, but my arm got caught in the seatbelt and caused me to stumble. When Alexander grabbed hold of my elbow to steady me, an electric current lit me on fire.
I looked up into his eyes. They were scorching, searing right through me and fanning the flames that flickered in my belly.
Oh, no…
“Don’t do that,” I told him.
“Do what?”
“That thing with your eyes. You’re trying to eye-sex me.”
He flashed me another crooked smile and a low chuckle reverberated through him.
“Is it working?”
Um, maybe. Yes!
But I couldn’t speak the words as Alexander leaned in closer to me. His mouth was mere inches away. Even though I knew what was coming, I was unable to stop it. It was if my brain had shut down and my body took over.
Suddenly, a tractor-trailer whizzed by, pulling on its horn. The sound was deafening and I jumped, the interruption startling me out of my trance and back to reality.
“I – I can’t…” I trailed off, at a complete loss for words, feeling pissed for being so weak. Even after everything that I had been telling myself, I couldn’t last more than two seconds around him.
How does he do this to me all the time?
“You can’t what, Krystina?”
“I can’t kiss you. You can’t kiss me. We aren’t the same as we were before. I don’t want you to think that there’s something still between us.”
“Think? I don’t have to think anything, angel. I know what’s between us.”
I wanted to deny him more than ever, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to keep up the fight for much longer with him standing so close to me. I summoned all the courage that I could muster, and tried to ignore the sexy way that a damp lock of hair fell over his brow.
“There’s nothing,” I tried to deny.
The rain started to come down, the slow drizzle being replaced by large droplets that splattered on my cheeks. I was about to mention that we should probably get out of the rain before it started coming down any harder, when Alexander placed his hand over my heart. The feel of his warm hand on my chest stunned me into silence as my heart beat rapidly against his palm.
“Are you going to deny that you feel it?” he asked quietly. His voice had become low and raspy, the sound of it resonating through me.
“You’re imagining things,” I said, swatting his hand away.
His eyes flashed dangerously and in one swift motion, he cupped the back of my neck and pulled me towards him. Without warning, he crushed his mouth to mine.
It happened so fast, that my breath was literally sucked out of me as I tried to free myself from his grasp.
It’s wrong. I can’t do THIS!
I could not accept his kiss. If I did, walking away again would be that much harder and the hurt even more unbearable. I kept my lips sealed in a firm tight line, refusing to give in.
Alexander fought me and continued to crush his mouth down against mine. He ran his tongue over by bottom lip, testing me for a weakness as I continued to deny him access. But I could feel the will slipping slowly away, my resistance now only halfhearted.
“Don’t fight me, Krystina,” he murmured against my lips. “It’s been too long since I’ve last tasted you.”
Lightning flashed in the distance and a low rumble of thunder sounded. I moaned, losing all will power to hold him off any longer. My body involuntarily gave away, prompting my hands to fly up and grip the back of his neck. Alexander growled his approval and deepened the kiss, pulling my body tighter against his. Our tongues lapped and danced together at an urgent pace. It was so good – too good. When his mouth began to work over my jaw line, I resigned myself to being lost to him and hummed with pleasure.
After a moment, he inched back slightly, our lips hovering over each other’s and our breaths mingling with every pant.
“Do you still want to say that this is just a figment of my imagination?” he breathed.
Dammit!
I pulled back and looked away.
“You don’t understand, Alex. I can’t be with you right now.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand. But I think that I’ve given you an ample amount of time to figure things out. Now, we talk.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Actually, there’s a lot that was left unsaid. For starters, I need to apologize. I’m sorry that I brought you to Club O. It was a mistake. And I know who you saw that night. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you and that you were alone when you had to face him,” he said, spatting out the last word with disgust. “I should have protected you. It’s no wonder why you ran from me.”
“How could you know –,” I started. But then I realized how he knew almost immediately. “Ally.”
Even though I never told her about what happened that night, I was fairly confident that the two of them managed to piece together the details. My brow creased in a scowl, feeling even more betrayed and angry with my friend for scheming with Alexander behind my back.
“She is worried about you. Don’t be upset with her.”
“Either way, it doesn’t matter what you know or what you think you know. What’s done is done. We can’t change it now.”
“Maybe not, but we can try to make it right. Together. You gave me your trust once before. I need you to trust me one more time.”
My eyes that had been absently staring at the pebbles on the asphalt, snapped up to look at him.
Trust! I did trust you and look where it got me?
I wanted to scream the words, suddenly remembering all the reasons why I had left him in the first place.
“No, Alex. It’s not just about what happened at Club O. I trusted you and you lied to me about your parents.”
“What if I tell you about my parents? About everything? No more secrets, Krystina.”
My stomach dropped and the rain started to come down even harder, drenching us with each passing minute. Goosebumps traveled up my arms, but I didn’t know if it was from the cold rain or from Alexander’s truce offering.
No more secrets.
I didn’t know if I could trust it. Trust him again. I looked searchingly into his eyes, desperately wanting to give in.
Will the truth change anything?
I wasn’t naïve. I knew that the truth behind Alexander’s parents would not fix all of our problems. And it certainly wasn’t going to fix my personal issues with being in a normal relationship. But it was hard not to cling to a sliver of hope. I could not deny that when I was with Alexander, I had seen the shadow of the white picket fence. Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to work things out by myself. Perhaps Alexander and I could do it together. I desperately wanted to believe that, but I also didn’t want to face the pain if things didn’t work out.
Not again.
“Why are you changing your mind so suddenly?” I asked cautiously.
He ran a hand through his dark waves that were mussed up from the rain and wind that whipped around us. He looked out into the night sky as if he were searching for the right words. When he turned back to me, his beautiful blues were full of torment.
“These past two weeks have been hell for me. We’re not over, angel. I’m not letting go of you.”
There was fierce determination in his eyes, and his purpose made me suddenly realize something. I could not continue to run from him. He will never accept the word no. I had to face this one way or another. If I was being completely honest with myself, I knew that I couldn’t fight back if I tried. My heart wouldn’t let me. Deep down, I never really wanted us to be over in the first place.
However, I couldn’t let him know that. Not yet at least. First, I needed an explanation before giving him a chance. I needed to know why he had let two weeks pass before seeking me out. The text messages about the job didn’t count. If what he was saying was true, then I wanted to know why he didn’t try to fight for us. He wasn’t the only one to suffer while we were apart, and the ache that I had felt during his absence was tremendous.
“If you don’t want us to be over, then why did you let me walk away?” I demanded.
He winced and rubbed his temples with both hands. His eyes were pained when he spoke.
“It was the comment that you made comparing me to my father. It was a low blow and very unexpected. I didn’t know how to react.”
“How was I supposed to know that?” I tried to defend. “I mean, it’s not like you were forthcoming about your past.”
My defense was weak and guilt flooded through me. I was so confused that night, my emotions one big jumbled mess. I knew that I wasn’t thinking clearly, but I hadn’t meant to hurt him.
“I know and that’s why I’m here. I meant what I said. We are not over, not by a long shot. If working through our issues means that I have to tell you everything, so be it.”
His expression held a certain amount of sadness mixed with resolve. But there was also a longing that I had never seen before.
Why am I hesitating?
The truth is what I had been asking for. It was what I needed to cut down the barriers between us so that I could trust him.
“I’m not going to make any promises, Alex. We’ll talk, but nothing more,” I agreed quietly.
He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to the top of my head. I held my breath, not wanting my judgment to be clouded by his intoxicating smell.
We are just going to talk. That’s all.
“Thank you, angel. Go have a seat inside the Tesla where it’s warm,” he said as he pulled away. “I’m going to make a quick sweep of your car to remove anything of value, and then call Hale to have him arrange a tow for this jalopy.”
“Hey! I like my car!” I defended.
“Krystina, just go to my car,” he said, taking hold of my elbow and coaxing me in the direction of where he was parked. “We’ve been standing on the side of the highway for long enough. It’s pouring rain and it isn’t safe.”
Just as he finished his sentence, another truck flew by blaring its horn and throwing a wet mist in its wake. Conceding to Alexander’s point about safety, I allowed him to lead me to his car. Once I was seated inside, he closed the door behind me and made the call to his security detail about having my car towed.
A minute later, Alexander climbed into the drivers seat next to me.
“Nothing between us, huh? I found this in the middle console of your car. I thought you might want it,” he stated casually before tossing the pack of Big Red chewing gum onto my lap.
I blushed ten different shades of pink before mumbling some nonsense about liking cinnamon. He made no comment, but simply handed over my purse, cell phone, and credit card that he had retrieved from my car.
When Alexander started the Tesla, music blared loudly from the speakers and I jumped. He hurried to adjust the volume to a barely audible level.
“Sorry. There was a song on that I liked right before I pulled up behind you.”
“What was it?”
He looked at me strangely for a moment.
“I don’t know the name of it,” he said somewhat indifferently.
I wanted to point out that the elaborate touch screen of his ridiculously expensive electric blue Tesla displayed the artist and song title, but thought it best not to provoke him with a snide remark about his lavish tastes.
Instead, I focused on the song that was currently playing. It was an oldie by Frank Sinatra that I knew well and always liked.
“Can you turn it up a little? I would, but I don’t know how to work this thing,” I admitted, motioning with my finger to the computer screen on the dash.
“Sure, angel.”
Instead of pressing anything on the screen, he simply started talking to an imaginary person in the dash. The volume magically increased.
Show off.
I hummed quietly to Frank singing about getting back up from the unfortunate things that life throws at you, trying desperately not to relate the song to my own life.
Stop having a pity party, Cole. It’s just a song.
We rode in silence, the only sound coming from the radio and the blowing of the heat vents that pushed out much needed warmth. After a few minutes, the song changed to an X Ambassador tune.
“Talk about a jump in music genre. Interesting playlist you have, Alex,” I observed.
“It’s streaming from an app and it's supposed to be filtered by what I listen to the most. The mix isn’t usually this eclectic, though”, he said and pursed his lips. “I can change it if you want. Put on more of Frank?”
“No, this is fine.” Leaning my head back against the seat, I listened to the current tune. However, after about thirty seconds, I began to hate the song. Too many of the lyrics were hitting home. “Actually, turn the radio off. I don’t feel like listening to music.”
He didn’t turn if off, but only lowered the volume.
“What’s wrong, angel?”
Music.
My one solace, my only escape, had been failing me.
“Nothing,” I lied. I snapped out the word rather quickly, making the fib obvious.
“Krystina,” he said in a troubled voice. I turned to look at him. “I want you to know that I’m here. For you. For what you went through. And for us. When you feel like you’re falling, I want you to trust that I’ll be here to catch you.”
“Alex, please don’t,” my voice cracked.
“I’ve got you, angel. You need to accept that.”
I turned my head to stare out the window. Tears pricked at my eyes. He didn’t know how bad I wanted to do exactly as he suggested. To fall, completely into him. Staying away was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. And now that he was here, I was having trouble remembering why I ran in the first place.