| |
A week.
Elsie feels excited and nervous all at the same time. A coronation is a big deal – it will make her role as queen official. She doesn’t feel like a queen right now; she feels like a scared little girl who wants to please everybody but isn’t really sure how.
She knows she would feel better if Hardy was dead. She would feel better if Meg was still alive to love and guide her. She would feel better if she was ten years older and had the experience to run a Kingdom. She doesn’t have any of the things she needs and yet; she has Dayle and an army to kill Hardy. She has Aster, Gwenna, Bronwen and Smelly Jim on her side; wiser fairies than she might ever be, and all willing to help her. Age doesn’t necessarily mean more experience or wisdom – she knows Aster is wise and Aster is the same age as she is.
What she must do is think before she decides something, listen to opposing viewpoints before choosing her path, and make sure she feels comfortable and can sleep at night with the decisions she does make.
What she mustn’t do is freeze or panic. She mustn’t show her subjects that she’s nervous. She must be brave. She is the rightful heir to the throne of Allaire, and so she shouldn’t feel strange about taking it.
“Let’s go inside, I want to see if there’s any formal information on my coronation in my father’s room.”
They head inside and spend several hours going through the papers, books and personal stuff that once belonged to the king. The others are quick, leafing through papers, quickly seeing if they are relevant or not; Elsie is slower. She loves seeing her father’s spidery scrawl. She loves finding things of his she remembers, like the brooch in the shape of a crow he gave her mother, his dagger, his ramblings on tax and trade arrangements with other Kingdoms. She finds his wax seal and smiles – he used to let her and Isla play with the wax when they were young. They’d make such a mess and he would just chuckle and pat their heads.
She finds more than she needs; her father was an organised king with everything written down, and though it looks like most of his methods were ignored while her step parents ruled, she will be easily able to continue his outstanding work.
There are plans to build schools and plans to extend the farming areas and plans for things she would never have even thought about. She holds a ledger filled with ideas to her heart. She will take these and study them; she feels as though he’s sending her a message and looking after her; still guarding and guiding her like he always did. There’s no way he could have known she would become queen of Allaire and need his help, but it’s all here. The days and times he met with his different advisors and council members. The days when he would visit the different areas of the Kingdom. It’s all written out for her to study and follow; the secrets to his success as a king.
She can be a good queen under his tutelage, despite him not being around anymore.
“Anything helpful?” Gwenna asks, nodding at the ledger.
Elsie nods and swallows down her tears; she has cried too many times. This room – her playroom when she was a girl – will now be her study, her room as queen. She is determined to do her parents proud. Each day she will spend time in this room, go through all her father’s paperwork, use what’s relevant and update what’s not quite the same as it was when he ruled.
“I haven’t found anything about a coronation though.”
“I have. This is it,” Aster says, lifting an enormous book and plonking it on the desk.
Elsie turns the pages and laughs. Her father could never have known she would need any of this stuff, and yet everything she might ever need to live and rule as queen is here for her. Including a book filled with details on a coronation, including the exact words to be said during the ceremony.
“It’s all here, even suggestions for decorations and celebrations.”
“Your father was so organised. I had no idea.”
“I had no idea. I thought all he did was hunt and eat and host jousts.”
“There’s more to ruling a Kingdom than all that.”
“I know that now. It never occurred to me that he did so much.”
“It’s an important job. This will help you,” Gwenna says.
“So much. More than he could ever have known. I’m taking this one,” Elsie says, taking hold of the coronation book, “and this one too.” She holds up the ledger. “I’ve got a lot of learning to do.”
“And a lifetime to do it in,” Gwenna says.
“Maybe. But I want to be good straightaway. I don’t want to sit around and eat Maud’s food all day.”
“I do,” Dayle says, uncurling from a chair. She hasn’t helped at all, but Elsie knows why; she’s worrying about Finneas, and Elsie won’t make it worse by calling her out on it.
“Aster,” Elsie says, “bring paper and ink; you can write the recipe for Maud for your wing growing potion.”
“Great idea.”
They head back to Elsie’s room and immediately they can all feel the difference in there. It smells fresh, and it’s cold and clean in there.
“We can shut the windows now,” Bronwen says; she isn’t quite tall enough to do it on her own. Dayle shuts the windows, then takes a seat, chewing on her nails.
Aster studies her bottles and ingredients and writes her instructions to Maud.
“I’m heading off now, queen,” Smelly Jim says, bowing low to her. “I’ll be back later, if that’s all right.”
“Of course. You don’t have to answer to me. Are you married Jim, do you have a home and a family?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve never been so lucky.”
He nods to her before leaving the room, and Elsie feels a strange wave of sadness. She hopes she falls in love and marries. She doesn’t like to think of spending her life alone. She certainly doesn’t want lovers at her feet – and she knows Bronwen just said that to be provocative – but she doesn’t want her short but intense love affair with Hardy to be the only taste of love she has.
She won’t ever admit it to anyone, but the feelings she felt for him were so strong, it was heartbreaking for her when she realised how nasty he was, how little he actually cared for her. She had believed she was falling in love with him and he was falling in love with her.
First love is always heady but thinking this powerful and charismatic fairy who was so revered by all the fairies who knew him, actually liked her, absolutely turned her head. She didn’t care when she was warned about him; she didn’t care when his mother insinuated that he would like to rule the Kingdom and use her as a figurehead; she didn’t care that he broke Bella’s heart.
When he kissed her, her entire body melted.
She will love again; she’s young and she also knows that what she had with Hardy and felt for him wasn’t actual love. It was infatuation.
But it’s hard to admit how wrong you’ve been about someone. How easily you were falling in love with them, when they were only tricking you.
She shrugs. She’s young. She has time. She won’t end up like Smelly Jim.
“Done.” Aster hands Elsie a list of ingredients and instructions for Maud. “I’ll make the first batch with her, anyway, just to make sure she follows this properly.”
“She will. She’s a splendid cook.”
“Skilled cooks don’t always follow a recipe. Sometimes they throw a bit of this in and a bit of that in, and experiment. She has to be precise about this.”
“She will be. Just explain to her how important it is. I don’t know Maud that well, but I know she’ll be over the moon to be able to help in some way. Healing the clipped fairies is a sign that all is well here. That my step parents couldn’t ruin Allaire in the way they wanted to. That the fairies have come through the very worst thing and prevailed.”
Aster nods and smiles, gathering the things she has that Maud will need.
“Dayle, will you help me take this stuff down to the kitchen?”
Dayle nods, and Elsie can tell she’s happy to have something to do. As the day goes on, she is withdrawing more and more into herself, worrying about Finneas and fretting.
“Of course. And then I’m going to look for Finneas. I’ll ask his army where he was going and go after him.”
She holds up a hand when Elsie opens her mouth to argue. “Elsie, I can’t sit here and wait. It’s not me. I don’t have the patience to sit around. If he’s hurt or dead, I need to know.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“Life is dangerous. I’ve been at sea since I was thirteen; I’ve had so many near misses I can’t even count. I can’t sit around. It’s making me crazy. Please.”
Elsie nods, though she knows Dayle would go even without her permission. She doesn’t really want permission to go, but she wants to know Elsie won’t be angry with her. And Elsie can’t be. She feels lucky to have Dayle in her life – a role model and a friend.
“Go. Of course you can go.”
“Thank you.”
“I wouldn’t stop you.”
“I know, but I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
“I’m not. I understand why you need to go.”
“I’m worried sick about him. It’s a long time since I cared about other people, but between you and him, it’s becoming a habit.”
“It’s a good habit.”
They hug and Elsie feels a flash of panic; she feels safe with Dayle beside her. With Finneas gone – maybe dead – and Dayle gone, she will only have the soldiers Finneas brought with him to protect her. Dayle on her own is worth a hundred soldiers and so she feels unsafe, but she won’t tell Dayle that. She really wants her to stay at court, but she is sure if she feels pressured or trapped she will flee.
“Just be careful. I know you’re Dayle, pirate queen, but Hardy is far more dangerous than he appears to be. And he has nothing to lose.”
“And I do. I have everything to lose. A place at court. A friendship with the queen. Finneas, hopefully. I won’t jeopardise it.”
“I know.”
Aster and Dayle leave the room, carrying Aster’s things between them, and Elsie flops into a chair.
“Don’t feel sad,” Gwenna says.
“I can protect you,” Bronwen says, cackling and then coughing. “I killed plenty during the rebellion. I reckon I can do it again. Damn Hardy.”
“Damn Hardy indeed,” Elsie says. “The worst thing is not knowing where he is. He could be right outside my window for all I know.”
“Or maybe Finneas killed him already.”
“Or right outside my window.”
Although she knows it’s stupid, she quickly checks, opening the window again and poking her head out. The garden below is empty. She feels almost giddy with relief, even though she didn’t really believe he was there. But he’s somewhere. She doesn’t know how she knows, but she knows he’s alive. She can feel it.
“Let me see your back,” Bronwen says. “Do you mind?”
Elsie doesn’t mind and lies on the bed.
“It looks great. Aster did a brilliant job.”
“And a mermaid tended to me before her. Her name was Peony. I’d have died without her.”
“You made your escape by swimming?”
“Drowning more like,” Elsie says, shuddering at the memory.
“You’ve been lucky. And I can see a small amount of wing growing.”
Elsie squeals. “Really?” She snakes her arm around her back to feel. “I feel something. There was nothing there yesterday.” She sits up, letting her dress fall to cover her back. “I can’t believe it. Aster’s so clever.”
“She is. She really is.”
“We need to get word out. I want the first lot of clipped children here today.”
“Agreed.”
She wants to bring happiness back to Allaire, and this is the easiest way to give the fairies genuine joy. Now she knows what it’s like to be clipped and the excitement of being healed, of feeling the tiniest amount of wing growing back, she is desperate to share this news.
“Let’s get them all here, and I’ll get Maud to throw a party for them. Let’s have cake and, ooh, Gwenna, can we get some of the troupe up here, playing music so the children can dance?”
Gwenna nods, a smile spreading over her face.
“That’s the best idea. We have musicians and jugglers and entertainers. If you really want a throw a party, that’s what you need.”
“I love that idea,” Bronwen says. “I love a party. We haven’t had parties in the Kingdom for a long time. It’s overdue.”
“Right?”
“Yes. I don’t want to leave you – can we send a messenger to the troupe?”
Elsie nods. She doesn’t want Gwenna or Bronwen to leave her alone.
“I’m excited.”
And she is. For the first time since being clipped – maybe it’s feeling her new wings that’s done it for her – but she feels excited and she’s desperate for the fairies in Allaire to feel the same way. She wants to impress them and show them that she might be a girl, and she might be young, but she’s the heir for a good reason. She can be a good queen and make everything better for them.
“Let’s go to the kitchen. I wonder how good Maud is – can she cook for thousands of children and make up Aster’s potion at the same time?”
“Do you think it’s thousands?”
Elsie shakes her head. “No, actually, I think the children were so well protected there aren’t as many of them clipped as there are grownups, but it’s bound to be a fair few. Actually – let’s get all the children to come. If they are close enough to get here, let them come.”
“Really?”
“Yes – all the children should have fun – play, fly, eat, enjoy – without the fear of being clipped or their parents being clipped. I want everyone to know they can fly alone in Allaire and be safe. Children can play with their friends, fly through the air and run through the forests, and be safe. Isn’t that what it should be like?”
Elsie knows not every child in Allaire can come to the castle – many live too far away and probably assume her step parents are still in charge – but she will get messengers to every corner of the Kingdom, even if it takes years. Every clipped fairy will be fixed, and every fairy will be safe and free to live a happy life. Allaire will thrive again under her rule, she’s so determined.
“I think Maud will be thrilled to do this.”
“I think she feels the need to atone for Hardy’s behaviour. Even though we don’t judge her for her it or blame her for it, you can bet she blames herself. I would.”
“Would you, I’m surprised by that Gwenna. I thought you would say the opposite.”
“I know the opposite to be true. Of course we can’t be responsible for other people, any more than we would let them be responsible for us. But when I think of this little baby growing up, it fills me with panic. It’s such a burden to have a child and watch them grow and guide them the right way. You have to set them on the right path and trust that they’ll stay there, even when you’re not there to take their hand and gently guide them back to the path if they stray. You have to assume they’ll do it themselves. It’s a big thing.”
“You’ll do a wonderful job,” Elsie says, knowing it’s true. “Your baby is lucky to have such a wonderful mother. I mean that.”
“Thank you. I hope so. It keeps me awake at night, the worry.”
Bronwen tuts and rests her hand on Gwenna’s head, sending healing thoughts her way.
“Gwenna, Gwenna. Don’t you mother half the children at the troupe already? They’re missing you. Your own baby will be just fine with you, and all the rest of us to look after them. Don’t fret. Enjoy this time.”
Gwenna smiles and rubs her belly. “I am trying. Just every now and then it’s like I can’t breathe.”
“Silly girl,” Bronwen says, but her voice is warm, full of love. “Let’s go to see Maud, I know exactly what I want her to make for this party.”
They all laugh and leave Elsie’s room, and head to the kitchen, soldiers following behind.