In my mind I'd left Dominic over a year ago, months before Ava's arrival. We'd been sleeping in separate beds for nearly two years, after he'd given me an STI. Continuing to live in the same house was more out of convenience than any hope of working things out down the road and getting back together. At least, that was how I saw it. The cheating was one thing, but the STI, that changed everything. Sadness transformed into bitterness that had eventually – where we now sat – morphed into hatred. He'd never had a shot at winning me back, I just hadn't told him that.
Perhaps I should have. Not that he'd made any attempt to win my heart again. He'd always pictured us growing old together, while he banged every woman within a one hundred mile radius! His parents had been married fifty years, and they adored me. It made sense to keep the farce going. Disappointing them, and then reaching seventy and realizing you were completely alone thanks to losing the one woman crazy enough to marry you, wasn't in his plans.
He'd never banked on me finding someone else. He'd spent years making me feel unattractive, hinting that no one else would want me. All part of his scheme to keep me loyal, keep me by his side.
And now, I was searching for a small two-bed house close to Ava's place. Something temporary while I sorted my life out. Business was going fine, and I could afford to leave.
I sat in the dining room, my web browser open on one of the local real estate websites. I'd spent all morning searching, finding the whole thing terrifying but at the same time exciting. New beginnings were always scary.
"Naive," Dominic whispered by my ear, prompting me to jump and spill some of my coffee on the table. I'd been so engrossed in reading property descriptions, that I hadn't heard him come in. He'd been out all morning.
"What are you talking about?" I got a napkin and wiped up the spillage.
"You, trying to move out. I think it's naive."
I didn't like his smirk. It was only slightly less troubling than the side of him I'd seen a couple of weeks prior, on the night of our big bust up.
"Your opinion is of no concern to me." I returned to the screen and continued reading. A garden, a garage with space for one car. No pets.
He laughed. "Who's the second room for?"
"Don't ask stupid questions."
"It can't possibly be for Chester, because he isn't going anywhere."
He was trying to get my back up, and I wasn't going to let him. He couldn't stop me from leaving with my son. My rights as a mother would forever trump his. I had always been the more involved parent. He wouldn't stand a chance up against me in court, if it ever came to that.
"We'll see, Dominic," I said levelly. No use arguing. I was more than confident of my position.
"We shall," he said smugly. "Isn't it funny how little we think things through sometimes? We make these rash decisions without knowing what life has in store for us. Without realizing that it could all come crashing down in the blink of an eye."
What was he talking about now? Oh, what did it matter? I tutted, picked up my laptop and left the room. I wasn't going to give him an audience.
As soon as Ava opened the door that evening, I knew something was wrong. Her eyes were missing some of the spark I'd grown accustomed to.
"Would you like a drink?" she offered.
"No, I want you to tell me what's wrong."
"I don't want to talk about it right now. Can you kiss me first?"
I kissed her, and kissed her again, because it looked like she needed it more than air.
We sat down with a glass of red wine, which I barely touched. We talked around her problem, and I grew more and more impatient. It was obvious she had something on her mind.
Then, unable to take it anymore, I took her glass out of her hand and set it down. I kept hold of her hand. "What is it?"
"Nothing really. It's my problem. I can handle it."
"Your problems are mine now, or had you forgotten that I'm a part of your life?"
"No, I definitely didn't forget..." She looked away miserably.
"Okay, what's going on?"
"Have Mrs. Hawthorne or Mrs. Ross said anything to you about our friendship being...inappropriate?"
I frowned. "Miranda and Beth? No. What sort of question is that?" I was growing more confused by the second.
"The principal called me in for a meeting after school today. Apparently a couple of parents have made a complaint about you and me spending time together. Said that it was unprofessional because it sent the wrong message and encouraged favoritism."
"What?" I exclaimed, outraged. "That's nonsense! What right does anyone have to complain because two grown women are friends?"
"They think Chester will get special treatment over the other children."
"My God! Those bastards! I can't believe this." I was more appalled than she was, it seemed. Maybe she'd already been through this when she first heard the news. "Did he say who the parents were? And he actually said parents, as in more than one?"
"He said the identities were confidential."
I shook my head in disbelief. "I just can't imagine Beth or Miranda or anyone else I know doing something like this. Or caring enough about it. Not to mention the fact that all the parents love you, love what you've done for their children. I don't get this."
She shrugged tiredly. "Neither do I. But that's what he said. While he can't stop me spending time with you, he does think our talks in school should from now on be brief and only about Chester."
"That's bullshit!" It wasn't unreasonable to expect that our conversations in school only pertain to school business, but the fact that this man was, in essence, compelling her to stop being my friend in public, rankled me. "Where the hell does he get off, huh?"
"It's okay, Dani, honest." She kissed my face to calm me down, and it worked for a minute. "I see you almost every evening anyway. He can't take that away from us."
"But–"
She pressed a finger to my lips to silence me, before replacing her finger with her lips. If anything could placate me, it was her kiss. "Let's not let this ruin our evening."
"Okay. I'll try."
I remained in a weird mood for the rest of the night, racking my brains trying to figure out what asshole had run squealing to the principal. Beth and Miranda had both used the term "special treatment", but in jest. I didn't want to believe that they were behind this.
We watched some stand-up comedy on television, her way of lightening the mood, and then we cuddled. Time seemed to speed by when we were together, and before long it was time for me to go. It was a school night, and I needed to get back to Chester. We'd settled on one as the cut off time, though we frequently ran over.
"Ugh, I hate this part," I grumbled, not wanting to get up. My limbs felt heavy. Heavy with reluctance.
"There is a way you can avoid this part entirely..."
"That's not an option right now, Ava, you know that." She was, of course, referring to me moving in with her. Ever since the dream, she'd brought it up every time we met. And where another person might have grown annoyed after hearing it six times, it only reminded me that there was someone who loved me enough to want me around all the time. It reminded me of her love for me.
"I have to ask in case one day you say yes." She kissed my cheek. Never disheartened by my rejection of the idea, just happy to be with me.
I almost told her about the house hunting, but decided against it. It was still early days. I didn't want to bring it up until I'd at least been to some viewings.
It was impossible to look at the other parents and not see traitors among me. In the playground, in the grocery store, passing by in the street. They would all smile and greet me, as always. But then I would wonder, wonder what lay beneath each friendly gesture. These people I'd known for years, some of them very well, some as friends. I didn't know who to trust.
It went on like that for two weeks, me looking at everyone as a possible suspect. Especially when Ava and I shared brief words in front of them. Who was watching? Who had a problem with it?
That was no way to live. If someone was out to get me, I sure as hell wasn't just going to sit back and play nice. I wanted to at least rule out the people I considered friends.
"Please don't mention it to anyone, Dani," Ava had pleaded the night she told me. "Just let it go."
I'd agreed to do as she asked, but after two weeks the not knowing was driving me crazy.
It was a Thursday, and Miranda and I were sitting on one of the school benches in the playground, waiting for the 3:30 bell.
"...So now she's wild about horses. Says she wants one for her ninth birthday." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Kids just have no idea how much things cost. Although, given her track record with keeping pets alive, it wouldn't be an expense we'd have for long!" She gave her usual, soulful laugh, always much louder than the joke required.
Beth arrived and joined us. Now was my chance.
"Guys, I wanted to ask you something. About my friendship with Miss Petal."
They looked at me, frowning and clueless. It could have all been an act, though.
"What about it?" Beth asked.
"I know you've both hinted that you thought Chester would get special treatment, due to our friendship..."
Miranda laughed. "Come on, Dani, you know we were just fooling around."
"Yeah, what is this?"
"Well, someone has a problem with it. Someone complained to the principal. Thinks it's inappropriate, and that it's unfair to the other kids."
They both wore the same expression: one of outrage.
It wasn't them. Whatever else these women were, they hadn't stabbed me in the back. I should have listened to my gut on this one.
"And you thought it was one of us? Gee, Dani, do you really think that low of us? But worst of all, do you really think we have nothing better to do?" Miranda laughed, but I could see in her eyes that I'd offended her.
"No," I said. "I'm sorry I even asked. Of course it wasn't you. But it was someone. Maybe you've heard something? A whisper from one of the other parents?"
Beth shook her head. "That's not the type of thing people around here do, or even think, for that matter. You must have an enemy. You or Miss Petal. But why the principal would pay any attention to a complaint like that is anybody's guess."
It came as no small relief to learn that my friends weren't traitors. I just hoped our friendship hadn't been damaged by my accusations, however subtle they'd been.
But after a couple of minutes it was business as usual, and Miranda went on babbling. Though the mystery remained unsolved, at least I'd ruled them out.
"Next week is the big 4-0, as you well know," Miranda went on.
"Of course. You haven't stopped talking about it for months," I said.
"Only because I don't want anyone telling me they've forgotten, and no one turns up on the day. I've gone to a lot of expense for this party."
"We'll all be there, Miranda," Beth said impatiently. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
She turned to me. "And what about you, missy? You won't let me down, will you?"
"Of course not."
"You're welcome to bring Miss Petal if you like. She's a lot of fun. And it'll be a big screw you to anyone who has a problem with your friendship."
"So I can bring her instead of Dominic?" I asked hopefully.
She frowned. "Why would you do that? Bring them both. Fred already told Dominic about it anyway."
I shifted uneasily in my seat. There was no way Dominic and Ava at the same party would be a good thing. One I wanted to come. The other had every right to come. I just prayed Dominic would be too busy to make it. I had to start getting people used to seeing me and Ava out together. This would be the perfect opportunity.