the night.” Dendup points to the homestead, a little up on our left-hand side.
Good. The shadows are already lengthening—darkness is not far away. I pet my horse on his neck. He shows no signs of fatigue, but I can feel the tiredness seeping into my own bones. It’s been a long day in the saddle, with many still to go.
“You’re doing good, sister,” Dendup says as we saddle off in the small courtyard. “Just let those reigns lose a bit.” He clasps my hands and inspects the grooves in my red rubbed palms. “They’re going to be sore.” He clicks his tongue. “No need to hold on so tight. Trust yourself.” He shakes his head.
Feeling a blush coming up, I quickly step back and clutch my hands to the side.
“And if you fall, one of us will pick you up.” Dendup’s grimace melts into an infectious smile, and I can’t help but laugh along with him.
“Thank you,” I say. “That’s a real comfort.”
Dendup’s smile grows even wider as he gets on with the bags. What a pleasant man he turns out to be. Although aloof at first, he’s been putting me at ease all day with his jokes and funny remarks.
“He’s right, you know.” Karma’s hand rests on my shoulder. “You’re a good enough rider.” He turns to take the bags of my horse, but I’m ahead of him.
“No, please.” My arms are around the bags. “I’m a burden enough on the two of you. I’ll take care of my horse.” With a big swing, I pull the bags off the horse’s back, but their weight catches me by surprise. This is not the load I packed! My heels dig in the sand. I stumble back, but Karma’s arms are quick to catch the bags and me before we hit the ground.
“You’re not a burden, sister.” Dendup leans across the back of my horse. “You’re family.” He cocks his head to the side and glances at Karma. “And so much more to some of us.” With a quick wink, he saddles off his horse.
I cringe, the blush on my cheeks spreading down my neck.
“No use denying that.” Karma’s face is so close now, the loose strands of his hair brush my burning cheeks. My knees weak, my thoughts run all over the place. No, there’s no use denying any of it. How I would love to lean back in those arms again.
Stop it. I turn away and wrestle myself from Karma’s tight grip while desperately avoiding his emerald eyes.
“You’re welcome,” he says with that teasing tone of his.
Oh my, when will I ever get to be myself around him? Then again, who am I anyway as I’ve never been around a man? With a dry thud, my bags hit the floor.
The inn’s packed, but it seems it was expected. Huge soup cauldrons on the stove spit out a healthy steam. Servants fly on their feet to feed the hungry guests. Dendup’s already secured a pleasant spot for us. It doesn’t take long before we’re served with gigantic bowls of thukpa. The heap of flatbread to match is gone within the wink of an eye. We munch the food away, silent and fast. While the warm brew releases the tiredness in my bone, I lean back, my body nourished, my mind at ease.
“Sister, listen.” Dendup puts down his second bowl of thukpa and draws close. “I know this is not your first time on the road, but the coming months will not be anything you ever experienced.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve and sighs. “A pilgrimage… Your intentions are noble, but we’ll encounter plenty of people who have something very different in mind.”
In an instant, my stomach knots, squishing a sour brew against the back of my throat. A pilgrimage, noble intentions. I lower my eyes. If only they knew my actual intentions.
“Especially with a beautiful young woman like you,” Dendup adds. Karma gives him a sharp stare. “Well, she is,” Dendup says and shrugs. “And somebody’s got to make her aware of it, and the dangers it brings on the road.”
A blush creeps up again. Young, yes. Beautiful? I’ve never thought about myself like that.
“Promise you’ll stay close to us. Don’t get out of our sight.” Dendup leans in even closer. He’s the eldest. I can’t be disrespectful. I meet his eye and clear my throat. Traces of sour acid sting the back of it. “Kandze’s busy. We’ve got a lot to do.” Dendup’s hand waves at Karma. “And to be honest, we’re not used to traveling with a woman, so you’ve got to stay close to us.” Dendup straightens his back. “And do as we tell you.”
I nod and glance at Karma. Do as we tell you. Where did I hear that before? My thoughts run over to the inn at the Four Sisters Mountain. Right. Karma telling me to stay back while he distracted my cousins—and himself—with drink, gamble, and women.
A slight smile comes to my mind. I have to admit; he took good care of me.
“Honestly, Nordun, we want to keep you safe with us,” Karma says, while Dendup catches the eyes of the servant for another bowl of soup. “And if you’re anything like the rest of the women in our family…”
Karma doesn’t finish his sentence. He and Dendup burst out laughing, with me joining them an instant later. Sangmo already told me about some of the strong-headed women on my grandfather’s side of the family, putting their foot down and going against the family’s decisions in the camp. I can only imagine what they must think of me. Heading into the mountains, catching a wild horse, and claiming my stake at the stables. Although Karma should know me better by now. I pull up my sleeves. The warm brew has done its work on my weary body.
“I promise,” I say. “I’ll listen and follow you.” And I mean it. They know best.
“Good, that’s settled then.” Dendup leans back and surveys the room. “Let’s get some decent mats.” It’s not much later that I’m under my blanket, stuck between the slumbering yet watchful bodies of Karma and Dendup. With prayer on my mind, I drift off in a dreamless sleep as soon as my head hits the mat.
The next day, the three of us slide into a steady routine. Karma leads the way, my stallion frolics behind, and Dendup and the packed horses close the row. And so we ride for another day and a half at a fast pace towards Kandze. My body light, my mind at peace, I actually enjoy the ride and the company. Somehow, the little talk Dendup gave me on our first night cleared a lot of my initial unease about traveling with the two of them. Focusing my mind on prayer, something that comes so natural to me, makes the ride even more pleasant. I’m doing good—for the benefit of all.
As the shadows lengthen over the snow-capped peaks of the majestic Gongga Shan range, we ride into the wide valley with its green hills and rocky ridges. The rough Rongcha river frothing and crashing on the left of us leads us into Kandze. We’re not the only ones arriving as we join the steady stream of traders, travelers, and pilgrims alike into the lively market town. Dendup gestures for me to ride between him and Karma, an order I’m more than happy to follow through, as it’s getting crowded.
I raise myself on my horse, craning my neck. On the street in front of me, people are pushing themselves in front of the stalls lined up along the road. They seem to sell everything from fresh vegetables to colorful clothing. Further ahead, a herd of yaks and mules kick up a cloud of dust.
“Right here,” Dendup steers our horses to the side. “We’re avoiding the middle, staying with friends of ours tonight.” He leads us into a small homestead, just off the main road, where a servant awaits us in the courtyard.
“Nice one.” A young fellow takes the halter off my horse.
“Thank you, but I insist,” I say. I’m taking care of my horse, as skillful riders do. No matter how tired, how weary I might be, my horse comes first. Karma’s fingers squeeze my shoulder with approval.
“Come, let me show you.” He slides his hands along my stallion’s legs. “Sharp pebbles can leave the tiniest of cuts, growing into nasty infections on the road.” His thumbs pry the horse’s knees and back.
I nod. I get it and take extra care under Karma’s watchful eye.
Though the sun’s already set, this town’s buzzing energy keeps my spirits up. After tea and a copious meal, Dendup and Karma head out to check our departure tomorrow. After some humming and hawing, they let me come along. The market’s still packed as if the day’s not nearly at an end. Foreign faces everywhere, strange words fill my ears while Dendup and Karma go about their business with men looking dark and broody. Karma changes tongues with no hesitation.
“Oh, he’s always got a knack for that,” Dendup says as I ask him about the foreigners’ language. “That’s the only reason I tolerate him with me on the road.” He ducks as Karma’s hand slaps his back.
The two of them laugh along as we push our way further to the main junction where Dendup is meeting a friend.
“Can you teach me?” I turn to Karma as we wait for Dendup to finish.
“The foreigners’ tongue?” Karma frowns. “Sure, all you have to do is listen and look. Language is so much more than just words.” His hands warm, he tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ears. “But try to see with eyes that have never seen before.”
He catches my gaze, drawing me in with those emerald eyes of his. “View with eyes that know nothing, with eyes that are new, because what might look familiar to you might be something completely different.” He scouts around and points at two moody strangers standing away from us. Their voices are harsh, their hands cut the space in sharp gestures between them. It looks like they’re ready to break into a fight. “Now, if you didn’t know better, you would bet your life they’re in an argument, right?”
I nod—it certainly looks like it.
“What if I told you they’re sharing a glorious memory together, recalling a tale long ago from their homeland?” Karma squeezes my hand as I study closer to the two standing there. “And it involves a beautiful, but oh-so-nosy woman from a faraway land.”
He keeps a straight face as I turn in surprise. “What?”
But the teasing gleam in his deep green gaze says enough. He’s leading me on.
“Karma!” Eyes wide, I swat my hand in the air.
“Yes, well,” he says. “That last bit I made up, but the first bit, I swear, it’s all true.”
I shake my head and take him in. This man! I’m not sure what to believe here.
“You know very well things are not always what they seem,” he says. “You’ve studied the Buddhist philosophy and understand our obscurations.” A gentle but serious shadow crosses his face.
“I do,” I say, for I’ve studied the many obscurations in class. Greed, ignorance, and hatred—they all cloud our mind. They prevent us from seeing clearly and lead us to do foolish, even harmful, and destructive actions.
“It’s like that.” Karma’s voice carries a soft yet thoughtful edge as his arm slides around my waist. “Just try to suspend all your judgement on this journey. Let go of all that you think you know and come with a new, a fresh look on this road.” He pulls me closer. “Then you’ll see and understand what you were looking for—and the foreign language too.”